


Conflicted Desires

by voltagelisa



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Biting, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Violence, Vulgar Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 22:24:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 133,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltagelisa/pseuds/voltagelisa





	1. Chapter 1

**_WARNING TO READERS:_ There will be explicit sexual content in this story with more than one partner, both male and female. Although male on male action won't come until later on in the story. There may also be some AU and OOC. **

**Thank you to my beta reader for the fabulous job she did with this chapter.**

“Shepard, you need to wake up now!" an irate female voice cut through my fogged mind. _What the hell! Get up while I'm feeling like shit? I don't think so!_ I thought angrily. "Shepard GET UP, the facility is under attack!" she ordered. My eyes snapped opened. ' _We are under attack'? What the hell was going on? Who would be attacking and why is this bitch giving me orders?_

I rolled out of bed, nearly landing on my face. I glanced around, making sure I didn't have to kill anyone for witnessing my less than graceful descent. The room was empty, and I scowled as I noticed that I was in a lab of some sort. _What the fuck?_  There were a few groups I knew that would want to get their hands on me. Cerberus was my first choice, followed closely by the Shadow Broker, but there were numerous smaller factions I had pissed off during my hunt for Saren. However, I didn’t think the lesser groups could afford equipment like the stuff I saw around me; so that left Cerberus and the Shadow Broker. _Great!_ I thought, my anger rising quickly. _I'm trapped in one of their labs, and some dumbass lackey is giving me orders._ Someone was going to pay for inconveniencing me. 

I glanced around once more, looking for clothes of some type. I had no desire to fight in this gown, with my ass hanging out for everyone to see. A locker stood not far away; quickly I raided it and found some armor and a gun. Good, now it was time to kill some people – namely, every asshole in this facility. I grinned at the thought; it had been a while since I'd been up against real competition and I was looking forward to some bloodshed. 

"Shepard, go to the locker and grab the clothes and gun from there!" the annoying female voice ordered. 

"What the fuck do you think I was doing, standing here jerking off?" I snarled in response. No one answered, which wasn't shocking. I headed for the door, but noticed the gun had no ammo of any kind. _What the fuck is this?_  I thought irritably. My intuition was now telling me it was Cerberus. They are the only ones I knew that were stupid enough to play these games with me. Well, it appears that they will be learning their lesson the hard way. Looks like it’ll be hand to hand combat until I find a working gun. 

Quickly I moved through the facility, ignoring the woman that was prattling on at me. I really wanted to meet that bitch. My crew knew not to give me orders and she would soon be learning the same lesson. I moved swiftly toward the sound of gunfire. In an open hallway, a lone soldier was crouched low, firing at mechs across the room. 

I moved beside him and took out a few of his opponents before turning my gun on him, aiming it at the center of his forehead. "Who the fuck are you and where am I?" I asked coldly. 

"I'm Jacob, the lab’s chief of security. You're in the facility that brought you back to life," he stated calmly.

"Who runs this facility?" I asked, my gun never leaving his forehead. 

"Why don't you help me get rid of those mechs and then I'll answer all of your questions," he suggested. 

"Fine, but they had better be damn good answers," I sneered and stood up, firing three bullets and taking out three mechs. 

"Damn, you could have had me use my biotics to finish them off," he said as he leaned back against the wall. 

"Why would I bother when I have my own?" I asked him with a quirk of the brow. Maybe this wasn't Cerberus, after all. They were known for their geniuses, and this guy certainly didn’t qualify. 

"We should head to the shuttle," he muttered, scowling at me. 

"You still have to answer my questions," I reminded him, my gun rising toward his forehead. 

"Okay, I'll answer your questions," he said, raising his hands in defeat. 

"Good! First question, who do you work for?" I bit out. 

He closed his eyes and moved away a step. "Cerberus," he muttered. 

I looked at him, shocked. _How in the hell did he come to work for them?_ I thought to myself. "Second question, where is my crew?" I asked, watching him carefully. If he slipped at all and I found out they were here, this place would be painted in Cerberus blood. 

"It's been two years, Shepard. They have all moved on," he said carefully. 

"What do you mean, two years?" I asked harshly. 

"You've been dead for two years," he said. I closed my eyes, pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to remember what happened. _There was a big ship coming for us, fire was all around… People were screaming and dying… mayhem… Williams came to help me, told me about Joker. Joker was in the cockpit trying to save the ship… I remembered getting him out of there…. Closing the door of the pod as I floated out into space…. My air supply leaking….can't breathe….body freezing…..blackness all-consuming as I fell… My body on fire as I fell toward a planet…. no more air…. And then there was nothing._

"Who from the Normandy survived?" I asked hoarsely.

"All your main crew survived, but several people from the lower decks perished," he said, watching me carefully.  

"Fine, I'll have to deal with this later. Let’s get to a shuttle," I snapped. He looked at me, shocked for a moment. "You do have a shuttle, don't you?" I asked lethally. 

"Yes, it's not far from here," he said, but was interrupted before he could finish. A man called on his omnitool, asking for help. I listened incredulously as Jacob said _we_ would help him. 

"Who was that?" I asked. 

"That was Wilson. He is one of the scientists that helped bring you back," he answered. 

"Fine, you can go save him, but I'm heading for the shuttle. Let me give you a friendly piece of advice; don't assume that I am going to help you," I sneered, walking away from him. I moved quickly through the hallways, stopping when I saw a wounded man sitting on the floor, a gun held in his hand. _Great, just what I fucking needed!_ I swore to myself.

"Shepard! Good, you are here," he looked at me hopefully. _Wrong person to give that look to, buddy,_ I thought with a smirk.

"Don't hold your breath, I'm getting to the shuttle," I told him coldly. 

"Can you get me some medigel from the wall?" he asked. I glanced at the compartment beside me. 

"Fine," I grumbled and tossed him one of the gel packs; he used the injection and struggled to his feet. 

"Wilson, are you alright?" Jacob asked as he rushed to Wilson’s side. 

"We don’t have time for this!" I stated heatedly. "We need to leave now!"

"Shepard, he needs a moment before he can move," Jacob said fiercely. 

"Then leave him behind," I snapped. He was no use to us injured. 

"I'd heard you were cold, but I didn’t think you were cruel," he snarled angrily. 

"Fine, you stay here and hold his hand. I have a shuttle to catch," I smirked, walking away from them. The route was easy to follow, since there was only one way open to the shuttle bay. I hoped some asshole hadn’t closed it off for security reasons.  I walked up the ramp keeping alert for more mechs. As if on cue, they appeared, coming at me from both sides. 

I took care of them in swift order and headed to the door where the shuttle bay lay. I wondered how it was that I could get through this place with such ease. It made no sense; they have state of the art equipment, yet this robot takes two shots and blows apart. 

"Shepard, wait!" Jacob called. I groaned, shaking my head in defeat. It figured that I would do the dirty work and they would finally show up when it's nice and safe. I'm glad the universe hadn't changed that much while I had been gone. 

"Oh great, you decided to show," I grumbled disappointedly as they walked toward me. 

"We should head for the shuttle," Jacob said with a scowl. I turned from him with a shrug as I heard the door behind me open. Through it stepped a woman with legs that looked like could hold you all night long and an ass that looked like it wouldn't quit. My fantasy shattered when my eyes met her face; this one was definitely in need of a paper bag. She raised a gun and fired. I didn’t care; she was killing one of the two idiots behind me. 

"Miranda! What do you think you are doing?" Jacob cried, outraged. Figures he would be, but I was also curious as to why she killed her own man in cold blood.  

"He betrayed us," she stated simply. _Oh God! I know that voice!_ I thought furiously. It was _that_ woman that had been rambling in my ear since I woke up in this damned place. Great!

"Huh, figured the idiot was only waiting for a perfect moment to shoot me in the back," I muttered, glaring down at the body. 

"Good instincts," she murmured with a small smile. The first thing that popped into my mind was what she could do to me with those lips; unfortunately, I didn't have time for those types of fantasies, especially not with her! 

"Let's get out of here," I ordered, before I forgot where I was and did what my body was raging to do. 

                                                                                ~oooo~

They took me to another facility; this one just as cold and sterile as the first. It was here that I would meet the Illusive Man. _Whoever the hell he was?_ I thought in annoyance.  I really wanted to know what the fuck he wanted with me and why he brought me back. I was thankful to be alive, though I would never admit it to him. 

My face-to-face meeting, as it turned out, was with a fucking hologram. I kept it short, as my patience with this whole situation was wearing thin. So now I had to go to Freedom’s Progress and investigate the disappearances of several human colonies. 

"Suit up, we are heading out!" I ordered my new team as I headed toward the shuttle without a backward glance to see if they were actually listening. I wasn't surprised when Jacob was right behind me when I entered the shuttle; neither did it shock me that Miranda took her time getting there. It looked as if she and I would have to have a talk soon. 

Freedom’s Progress was abandoned; food was left out, work left half finished, as though everyone simply vanished into thin air. The entire scene was odd and created an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. We swept through the first few buildings quickly; slowing when we encountered a group of Quarians. I was shocked seeing them here, especially one of them. Tali, one of my old team members, appeared to be leading the group. I hoped things would improve now that I had her here. 

"Shepard? Is that you?" she asked softly. "And you are with Cerberus?" I glanced at her, but most of my attention was focused on the Quarian who had a gun pointed at me. 

"Tali, I'm only going to say this once. Get that fucking gun out of my face or…" I began, and Tali turned to her companion, gasping loudly. 

"Prazza, put your gun down!" she ordered, standing in between myself and him. I counted silently to ten and they were still arguing.  In one quick motion I moved Tali out of the way, disarmed Prazza and was about to pull the trigger. 

"Shepard, please don't," Tali implored. 

"Another of your team points a gun at me and I will finish this," I snarled, shoving the gun roughly into her hand. 

"Sure, Shepard, I hear you," she muttered sullenly. 

I smirked as we went over a plan of attack. We'd use the Quarians to distract the mechs while we went after another of their people who might have information. I didn’t really believe they would help; Tali would, but the others were going to fuck this up somehow. 

They left and I was just heading out with the two Cerberus operatives complaining behind me about the Quarians, when Tali warned me that Prazza and his group screwed around with the plans. _Now why am I not shocked?_ I thought snidely as we continued walking. 

"Should have known we couldn’t trust the Quarians," Jacob said maliciously. I turned to him, chuckling. 

"Don't bother worrying about it,” I replied. “We don't need them and besides, they'll make great canon-fodder.” 

Without another word about our ‘allies’, we went in search of the one person that had answers to the mystery of the disappearing humans and would probably be delusional. _This day was just looking better with each moment,_ I sighed with annoyance as we cleared out more mechs. 

                                                                ~ooo~

 _What a damn waste of time,_ I thought on the ride back to the Cerberus base. After all the fighting, the only information we were able to retrieve from Veetor was a video of an alien species called the Collectors. Cerberus now had the delusional Quarian in their care, along with the information on his omnitool. Hopefully they would be able to retrieve something of value. If not, this mission wouldn’t be any different from the hunt for Saren.  

The meeting with the pain in the ass, a/k/a the Illusive Man, was more informative. He had suspected the Collectors, but our proof had solidified his theory. It was now my job to coordinate a new group of people that I didn't know and who were probably under Cerberus’ control to stop an entire race of kidnappers. Business as usual, I suppose.

The one good thing out of all of this was Joker, who had been recruited by the Illusive Man to pilot my new ship. With him aboard, I had one person that I trusted to a point to back me up. 

 I stood there smiling as the lights came on in the docking bay. Joker stood beside me, a matching smile on his face. "Now all we need to do is name her," he said. 

"Yeah I know, and there is only one name for her," I said as we turned to each other and grinned. The Normandy SR-2, the only name appropriate for this ship. "Let's go aboard and check her out." 

We walked on board, the Cerberus lackeys close behind us. "So, Shepard, is this going to be the same as the other Normandy? Where you're seducing all the females?" Joker asked, grinning slyly at me. 

"What do you think, Joker?" I snorted. 

"Then you better leave some for me,” he replied. “Have you seen some of the women here? Take Kelly, as a perfect example. She’s got a great body, but you might want a gag," he grinned. 

"Really? I'll have to check that out. So what section is she working in?" I asked curiously. 

"She's your personal assistant," he winked.    

As we entered the CIC, Cerberus employees were working all around us. That was the only thing wrong with this ship. If it hadn't been under their control, I would have been be happy, but I was sure this wasn’t the most trustworthy group around.  Miranda and Jacob stood there staring at me with data pads in their hands. 

"What do the two of you want?" I asked coldly. Miranda had a body on her, but the 'I'm God's gift to men' attitude was very annoying. Then there was Jacob; he seemed nice enough, but I wasn’t sure. With his military attitude, I just knew he would be driving me insane quickly. 

"We have the first few dossiers for recruits. I think the first one we should go after is the Salarian scientist, Mordin Solis," Miranda replied, her tone sounding too close to an order for my liking. 

"Now, you see that is where you are wrong. This is my ship, and we do this my way. If you don't like it, you have two choices; keep your mouth shut or walk out of the airlock!" I said coldly, focusing solely on Miranda when I spoke those words. She was the worry, not Jacob; he was too military to cross me.

"Whatever you say, Shepard," Miranda bit out, glaring at me as she stormed away. Jacob looked at me worriedly before saluting and heading for the armory. It looked like I would have to watch the both of them closely, especially Miranda. 

I glanced around the CIC deck; Joker sat in the cockpit facing toward me, grinning. "So, what do you think?" I asked him. 

"Well, it was looking good until…" he began, nodding towards EDI, Cerberus’ installed artificial intelligence. It was the same problem I was currently battling. 

"Yeah, well, we'll have to live with it…for now," I smirked. "So…where is this Kelly you mentioned?" 

"Go to the map, you'll find her without a problem," he smiled. "You better not hog all the females this time," he added, turning his chair from me. 

"Joker, you know better than to give me orders," I reminded him coldly.

"Don't worry, Shepard, I remember quite clearly, " he mumbled, slumping into his chair. 

I walked over to the map, spotting a blonde standing next to it, a smile plastered on her face. _Oh yeah, now this I could use,_ I thought lustily. _A full service, personal assistant; now all I have to do is teach her how to assist properly._

**Kelly's point of view**

I watched Commander Shepard walk toward me and my first thought was "danger". That one thought sent a shiver down my spine.  "I'm Kelly, your personal assistant," I introduced myself.

I had heard the stories about him, how he could be cold; also the rumors of his frequent relations with females of all races. Though there was one rumor that I didn’t believe; it involved his possible interest in males. No one with his confidence and virility could have an interest in men. 

He walked closer, smiling slightly and the light in his eyes made me very nervous. "So, you're my assistant, huh? What precisely will you be helping with?" he asked softly as he neared me. 

_Whoa, talk about a loaded question!_ I thought anxiously. _I know what I am supposed to do as his assistant, but what I want to do is something entirely different,_ I thought dreamily as he stood in front of me. 

I swallowed hard, trying to appear calm. "I'll be keeping an eye on the crew and notifying you when you have messages," I told him. 

"Is there anything else…" he murmured, trailing a finger down my arm. 

_Oh damn, what was I supposed to say? He was my superior officer!_

"I'm also the ship’s counselor. If anyone has a problem, I'm to help them through it," I answered, ignoring the open invitation. 

"And if I have a problem, does that mean you _have_ to help me?" he asked with a knowing smile. 

_YES!_ I screamed internally. _Right now I'll help you… no, I can't do this…._ He was making it very hard to think straight.

"Yes, if you have a problem, I am supposed to help. I'm to make sure this ship runs smoothly," I answered, my voice cracking. 

"So if the Commanding Officer is upset, then that is a bad thing, isn’t it?” he asked, his eyes glittering dangerously. “And since it your job to make sure things on the ship run smoothly, then…." he trailed off, his hand on either side of my face, trapping me there so that I felt the heat of his body. I caved; there was nothing else for me to do. A girl can only take so much… 

                                                                ~oooo~

We went up to his cabin. He backed me into one of the walls, his hands on either side of my head. His mouth slashed across mine, our tongues dueling passionately. He used one hand, tilting my head back, deepening the kiss. He walked me backward toward the bed, his hand undoing the latches to my jumper. Cool air hit my flushed skin and I gasped at the sensation. His mouth and hands traveled down my body, meeting at the junction of my thighs. I moaned low as he found me, his tongue delving deep inside me, mimicking what I wanted him to do with his body. I was more than ready; I didn’t need the preparation, though I loved every minute of it.

I lay there with him on top of me. I tried to get him to remove his clothes, but he wouldn't. I gasped when I felt him on the edge of entering me. He thrust into me, the material of his pants brushing against my legs. I wasn't sure whether to be insulted that he hadn't undressed or excited that he was this turned on. 

I could feel my orgasm building as he thrust into me, his fingers digging into my hips, pulling me closer to him. It didn't take long for him to push me to over the edge or for him to follow. I lay there panting, thinking there would be more to come now that the edge was taken off of our passion. 

"Get dressed, we have work to do," he stated as he walked to the bathroom. I stared open mouth at the closing door. _What the hell?_ I thought, humiliation begin to settle over me. _This wasn't what I had been expecting from him._

**Shepard's point of view**

_Damn, I feel so much better,_ I thought as I washed my face. I hoped she took the hint and vanished before I reentered my room. The last thing I needed was a clinging woman who thought this was a permanent relationship. Just the thought sent a shiver of dread racing down my spine. 

Now that the itch was taken care of, all I had to do was go over the dossiers Cerberus had given me and pray that these people were worth the effort. "Joker, head to Omega. We have three pick-ups there," I ordered through the comm.

"Will do. We should be there in a few days," he stated. 

"Let me know when we are an hour out," I ordered, cutting off communication with him.

 _Good,_ I thought happily. _Now all I have to do is wait. Time to make the rounds of this place and see what else this ship has to offer._   


	2. Chapter 2

I sat at the table, trying to eat the slop that Gardener gave me. I swallowed convulsively as the bitter taste hit my tongue. _Damn, that man had to learn how to cook_ , I thought furiously. He stood by the kitchen watching me expectantly, waiting for approval that I couldn't give. It looked like he and I needed to have a chat and he had better improve his cooking or I would be finding another cook.  

"Shepard, we are docking at Omega," Joker announced. _Yes, saved from having to finish this shit,_ I thought, rising from the table quickly _._

"Tell those two…" I trailed off, remembering that EDI was in every room and would probably rat me out. "Tell Miranda and Jacob to meet me at the airlock in an hour," I ordered, my voice strained from holding myself back. 

I left the Mess Hall and headed for Joker, the only person who was worthy of my time. I passed by Kelly; she glanced at me, giving me a baleful glare before turning her eyes away hastily. Good, she finally realized that what happened between us didn’t constitute a relationship. 

"Hey, Joker, what can you tell me about this place?" I asked, placing a hand on the back of his seat and relaxing for a brief moment. 

"Your type of place - murder, prostitution, embezzlement and many other things that should make you feel right at home," he grinned, giving me a wink. 

"Nice! This mission should be fun and we might be able to get rid of one of those two…people," I grinned at him. 

"Behaving, Shepard? I never thought I would see the day where you would watch what you said," he laughed, looking up at me in disbelief. 

"Yeah well, it's not by choice. It's that damn EDI! I have to watch what I say so it doesn't get back to them and I don't have fucking whiners on my ship," I muttered with a scowl. 

"Uh-huh, you keep believing that," he laughed. 

"Joker, you're pushing it," I warned in a cold, hard voice. 

"Don't I wish I was _pushing it_ somewhere; unlike you, who has already had that pleasure," he grinned. I couldn't stay mad at him for long, not when he joked around like that. 

"Well, if you are that desperate, come down with us to the planet if you want. We can get someone else to take control for the very short time it would take you. You should only be gone 5 minutes at the most, right?" I grinned, patting him on the shoulder. 

"Ha ha, very funny. You must be mistaking me for that Turian we used to have on board the old Normandy," he grinned. 

"Hey, that Turian had more stamina than me," I grimaced at the memory of the time we went to the bar and picked up women together. 

"Why, Shepard, I didn’t know you swung that way," he snickered. 

"There is a lot you don't know about me, Joker. And as for Garrus, we did bar hop together, you know," I snapped. 

"So, you are not denying it," he looked at me, shocked.

"I'm not denying what?" I asked. 

"You and Garrus getting it on," he grinned. 

"If I slept with Garrus, I would probably be dead; he's a male Turian. They are quite different from female Turians, more violent; whereas their counterparts are quite athletic and energetic," I muttered. I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with him of all people -  Joker, the virgin of the ship. 

"You've been with a female Turian?" he asked in awe. 

"Turian, Asari, Drell, though Drells are rarer to find; but there was one on the Citadel a while back. And obviously humans," I shrugged nonchalantly. 

"Man, Shepard, the next time we go for shore leave, I'm coming with you," Joker grinned, chuckling.

"You go ahead, Joker. I'll make sure you get action," I winked.

"So you never answered about you and men…" he trailed off when I gave him a penetrating gaze. 

"What about it? Am I interested in men? What do you think?" I asked with a smirk.

"You know, Shepard, I would never put anything past you," he answered with a raised brow, still fishing for information.

"Does it matter? Anyway, I have to meet the two annoyances in the airlock. We'll continue this later," I smirked as I walked away.    

                                                                ~ooo~

We walked down the hall, stopping when we saw a man threatening a Batarian. I moved over to a nearby wall, leaning up against it nonchalantly; my arms crossed over my chest as I watched him hit the Batarian once again. "Should we intervene?" Jacob asked. 

"Not a chance! I want to see if he kills him," I grinned, turning my attention back to the man. He had a scar running down his cheek, and hard, cold eyes that told me he was willing to do what was necessary to get the job done.

"You're cold. You can't let him kill that Batarian in cold blood," he snapped angrily, glaring at me. 

"Yes, I can and I will. Don't forget that our next recruit might be just like him, so you better get rid of that ‘holier than thou’ attitude. I don’t think our next team member will appreciate it and may decide to help you get rid of it," I grinned as he hissed in anger.

"I can take care of myself," he sneered. 

"Are you saying you'll have an easy time taking me when I do something you won't like?" I asked, rising to my full height as I moved away from the wall. I took a few menacing steps toward him. Miranda moved out of the way, a smile on her face. 

"I never said that," he replied hastily. 

"No, you didn't need to; but remember this, Jacob, before you decide to take your ‘holier than thou’ attitude. I've killed people for far less and it won't bother me one bit killing you right now," I smiled coldly at him.  

"He still has to follow orders like everyone else," Jacob stated. 

"Yes, he does! My orders only, unless I say otherwise," I stated coldly, making sure he heard the warning in my voice. 

I glanced over to the man we had been watching. He had the Batarian by the throat; I stepped out of the way as the Batarian went flying by me. "So, are you finished with him?" I asked the stranger. I was praying this guy would be on our team. I hoped he was one of the dossiers that I had. If he wasn't, I planned on recruiting him, anyway.

"No, I need to bring him in for his bounty. They want him alive," he said, never taking his eyes off the bounty. 

"Please, you have to help me! You can't let him do this!" the Batarian pleaded, looking at us with hope.

"You better hope it's not me you're pleading to; I would just kill you just to shut you up," I smiled cruelly. 

I turned to the bounty hunter. "Zaeed Massani?" I asked with a grin.

"I'm Zaeed Massani. I take it you're Shepard? I had heard you were a hard ass, but it doesn't seem that way to me," he stated, giving me a once-over. 

I smirked, moving closer to him. "Don't let your eyes deceive you," I stated coldly. 

"When you're finished with him," I nodded toward the Batarian, who was trying to crawl away, “go to the Normandy.” Zaeed shot him in the leg, stopping his escape. I grinned, holding out my hand. He took my hand in a firm shake. 

"I assume the Illusive Man told you about our arrangement?" he asked. 

"No, it must have slipped his mind," I stated snidely. 

"Good thing I asked. Picked up a mission a while back, just before I signed on with Cerberus. Thought you might be interested. You heard of Vido Santiago? He's the head of the Blue Suns; runs the whole organization. Seems he recently captured an Eldfell-Ashland refinery on Zorya and is using their workers for slave labor. The company wants it dealt with," he explained and I groaned inwardly. 

"Great, just what I needed; to be forced to save a bunch of nuisance workers who don't have the balls to stand up for themselves. So, you expect me to run halfway across the galaxy to rescue them?" I asked snidely. 

He stared at me for a moment, sizing me up. I met his challenging stare head-on, my eyes void of emotion. There was no way either the Illusive Man or Massani would be able to make it worth my while. "Is there a place we can talk in private?" he asked, breaking the silence. 

"Maybe; what do you want to do about him?" I asked, nodding toward the bleeding Batarian on the ground. 

"He is coming with us," he said and motioned me to follow him as he hefted the Batarian to his feet. 

"The two of you wait here!" I ordered.  We rounded the corner, out of hearing range of the Cerberus agents. 

"So, what is so damned important that you didn’t want the two idiots to hear?" I asked irritably, leaning against the wall, waiting for him to talk. 

The Batarian started to move, but I kicked out, hitting him where he had been shot. "Don't move!" I ordered. Zaeed watched me with calculating eyes and shrugged, taking his gun off the guy. I pointed my gun at the Batarian, motioning him to move forward. "Say ‘ah’," I grinned lethally. He gazed at me fearfully as I placed my gun in his mouth. "We're going to talk; you're going to stand there. If you move wrong, I pull the trigger. If I'm startled, I pull the trigger. So you better hope he doesn't shock me too much," I grinned at the terrified bounty. 

"As you were saying?" I prodded, turning my attention to Massani. 

"So, the stories I heard about you were true," he commented, a small smile lighting his face as he gave me a considering look. "Fine, I guess you would appreciate the true reason I need to go to Zorya, instead of the lie I concocted. The real reason I accepted that mission wasn't to save the workers," he muttered. He hesitated for a moment and I thought he wasn't going to continue. It annoyed me that I had to wait for him to speak and that he had chosen to lie to me. I hated that; I would have preferred just to kill him for the lie, but he had piqued my curiosity.

"This had better be good. I don't do the nice stuff; it doesn’t settle well in my stomach… unless there is something in it for me, of course," I warned him with a wry smile that still held an edge to it. 

"I'm out for revenge," he stated bluntly, waiting for my reaction. 

"Revenge? That's it? I don't have to save anyone?" I asked, making sure. He smirked, shaking his head. I grinned at him, relieved. "As soon as we collect the other two people I'm supposed to get here, we will be doing your _saving_ mission," I grinned, and he smiled back. We walked back to my team, who was standing around, looking annoyed. 

"When you're through with him, go to the Normandy. We'll meet up with you later, unless I send one of them for you," I said, rolling my eyes toward Miranda and Jacob.  I started to walk away, but Jacob’s next words stopped me.

"Did you have to be so cold with him, Shepard? If we are going to get people on our side, then we need to be a little nicer," Jacob whined.  

"You picked the wrong place to complain, Jacob. Remember, we are on Omega; I can kill you and hide your body. No one would be the wiser. Now that I think of it, no one would care if I killed you right in front of them. As a matter of fact, I am very close to doing that right now. So if the both of you don't want to die, I would suggest you keep your mouth shut and do as you're told without question!" I snarled, moving away from them, closer to Zaeed. 

"Ha! I think we will get along just fine, Shepard," Zaeed smirked as he walked away with the Batarian stumbling behind him. 

"Hey, Zaeed, if you hurry up with him, you'll be coming with me. Call it a test of your abilities," I grinned, heading through the door to go meet Aria. 

"So, who goes with you and _him_?" Miranda asked. 

"The both of you are going. I need to see how everyone works as a team," I bit out. "If you don’t want to come on this mission, that is fine, but don't expect to go any other missions with me!" 

"No, we'll go," Miranda muttered. I glanced at Jacob; he met my eyes and stood at attention. That was answer enough for me. 

"Good, the two of you wait nearby, but don't interfere unless they pull guns on us," I told them patiently. Those commands seemed easy enough for them to follow. 

"What do you want?" one of Aria’s guards growled, stopping me with a hand on my chest. I glanced down at the hand, and then met his eyes with a lethal calm. The Turian guard snatched his hand away quickly.  

"I'm here to see Aria; she’s expecting me," I told him, brushing by him and headed up the stairs. 

A Batarian approached me with a scanner. "Scan me with that thing and you'll be scanning your colon!" I growled, ready to grab the device out of his hands. 

"That, I would pay to see," Aria laughed with delight, "but the scan is non-negotiable.”. 

"All you had to do was ask," I smirked at her. For an Asari, she wasn't that bad looking. She had an air of confidence to her as she smiled at me.  

"I bet. So, if I want something from you, all I have to do is ask?" she asked with a sultry look.

"Usually, but this time we are here for information," I smiled sadly, wishing that I could take her up on the offer. Anything this woman would do would be better than Kelly. Maybe…just maybe if things worked out and I got these two off my tail, I could take her up on the offer. 

"Jacob, go find Zaeed and have him meet us here, now!" I ordered. 

"So what information are you looking for?" she asked, turning my attention back to her. She motioned for me to a take a seat on the couch near her. I sat closer than she indicated, a challenging grin on my face.  

"I'm looking for a scientist named Mordin, and a vigilante named Archangel. Know anything about them?" I asked her. 

"And if my information comes with a price?" she asked, her eyes glittering dangerously. 

"That price will have to wait until after I collect those two," I answered, my eyes roving over her body with a promise in them of pleasure that could be had.  

She nodded, accepting my unspoken invitation. "You'll find Archangel hiding out; most of the gangs want him dead. They are looking for recruits in our back room. To find Mordin, you need to go to the Omega slums. He is working on curing a plague outbreak," she explained. 

I thought about saying something else, but with those two watching, it wasn't a good idea. God only knows what they would do with that information. The last thing I needed was them keeping watch while I was _busy_.  

"He told me you wanted me here," Zaeed grumbled, scowling at Jacob as I walked down the steps toward them.  

"Yeah, got a problem with that?" I asked him with a raised brow.  

He looked at the other two members and gave a roll of his eyes. "None," he said, glancing at me pointedly. 

"Shepard, did you just make arrangements with Aria when we are supposed to be collecting more recruits?" Jacob asked nervously. 

"Yes I did, Is that a problem?" I asked with a challenging smile. 

"No, I’m just shocked that she accepted," he grinned, shaking his head in disbelief. "Rumor has it she doesn't take just anyone to her bed," he shrugged. 

"Yeah well, I'm not just anyone and she knows it," I told him as I walked toward the recruiters. 

Miranda turned toward me, a shocked expression on her face. "Shepard, shouldn't we go after the scientist?" she asked nervously. 

"Do you remember that talk when we first boarded the ship? It's still in effect. What I say goes. If you don't like it; well, you can stay here…permanently," I smiled as she glared at me. Still chuckling, I walked over to the recruiters. They took one look at us and I could see disbelief and amusement in their eyes. 

"Shepard, I don't think they will let us in," Jacob stated hesitantly. 

"Not unless you can prove yourself," the recruiter smirked. 

"All they need is a little persuasion to see things my way," I said to Jacob as I grabbed the front of the recruiter's armor, pointing my gun to his head. Another man came to his defense, and I turned my gun on him instead, while still maintaining my grip on the first smartass. With an evil smile, I pulled the trigger and sniggered as his brain leaked out of the hole I made. 

"I want Archangel!" I demanded coldly, returning my gun to his head. 

The recruiter looked at us, shocked for a moment before smiling broadly, "You'll do," he said quietly.

"Quite the impression you make on people," Zaeed chuckled.

"Yeah, you would think in their line of business, they would have seen a gun being used before," I replied. 

"So, what do you know about Archangel?" he asked. 

"He's a Turian vigilante; got most of the Omega gangs pissed off at him. The dossier was incomplete, though it did say he is an excellent sharp shooter," I muttered. I hated not knowing much more about him.

"Huh, not much to go on, but so far it sounds promising," Zaeed smirked, giving Miranda and Jacob a baleful look. 

"That’s what I thought, too," I grinned.  

                                                                                ~oooo~

**Garrus' point of view**

I looked through my scope, almost dropping my gun as I watched Shepard walk toward me. I had been told he was dead. Ashley had informed me when they returned from the destruction of the Normandy. _So what the hell was going on?_ I wondered.

I watched as he looked toward me; he had a cold smile that sent a shiver of foreboding down my spine. I knew without a doubt he was here for me. Someone had hired him to take ‘Archangel’ out. The survivor in me wanted to pull the trigger right now and make sure he didn't get too near. But I respected him too much to take him out like that. I would wait until we were face to face and maybe, just maybe, I might get him to see reason. I smiled sadly. _Who was I kidding?_ Shepard killed without remorse or thought. 

Without hesitation, he walked behind one of the freelancers and shot him. A scarred human next to him killed the next merc. His remaining two companions stood there watching them without interfering. _Who were these people helping him?_ I wondered anxiously. He wasn't one to ask for help… nor did he need it. He was more than capable of taking out his targets.I sighted down my scope, thinking about removing his team members so that I only had to worry about him. If I did that, however, there was no way he would let me live.

They disappeared from sight, entering the building. I sighed, ready to be killed as soon as I turned around. "Archangel?" Shepard called out. He was just as I always remembered him; commanding and cold, with a voice that demanded your attention. 

I held up my hand, firing off two shots, but this was more to give me more time. Slowly I turned, prepared for the bullet that never came. Slight hope flared in me as I walked over to the couch, taking a seat. Maybe he wasn't here to kill me, after all. 

I took my helmet off, meeting his eyes. He chuckled, walking over to me. "Holy fuck! So you're going by the name Archangel now, huh?" he asked sardonically. 

"Yeah, well, it’s just Garrus to you," I muttered nervously. 

"Uh-huh, so how in the hell did you get all of the groups against you?" he asked with a grin. 

"It wasn't easy. I really had to work at it," I joked, testing the waters. 

"I believe it. I think you've beaten my record on the number of different people wanting you dead at one time. I'm impressed," he joked, slapping me on the shoulder amiably. Relief washed over me; he wasn't here to kill me. _So why was he here?_ I asked myself. 

I thought about asking, and I was tempted to, but I knew his temper when it came to stupid questions. "Garrus, you look worried about something," he commented, though it sounded more like a question. 

"I thought you were here to kill me. Now I'm wondering why are you here and how in the hell you are even alive?" I asked quickly. 

"Cerberus brought me back from the dead and they want me to stop the Collectors, who are kidnapping human colonies. So now I'm recruiting and you're on my list," he grinned, almost looking happy. 

"Well we can't leave now, there are too many people waiting for me and now you," I grinned. I wasn't sure if he could tell or not, but he smirked and nodded. "Let's see what they are up to," I mumbled, walking over to the window. Shepard followed quickly, barely making a sound. I was tempted to turn around and see if he was still there.

I scoped out the barricade they erected and three people leapt over. I passed him the sniper rifle and watched as he killed all three of them, as I knew he would. "Well, well, you've really gotten yourself in a mess. I always thought it would be you bailing my ass out of messes. You continue sniping; I'm heading down there. Zaeed, you're with me. Miranda and Jacob, stay with Garrus and help him out," he ordered with a look of relief that had me wondering. 

"Oh and Garrus? Leaving those two behind is payback for saving your ass," he smirked before slipping away. I really wondered what he meant by that; it made me worry. 

The female took a position beside me, the male on the other side. We waited for the next wave and it didn't take long for them to go over the barricade, nor did it take long for Shepard to show. Though Zaeed, as Shepard called him, wasn't within my sights and that worried me. I hoped that he hadn't left Shepard alone. It didn't take long for the first few waves to be defeated. The scarred guy walked up beside Shepard and I could see them talking. Shepard seemed happy, which was a really good thing. 

I was happy one of the gangs was defeated; it gave me more hope that we were going to get out of here alive. I called Shepard back, waiting for the reprimand that would be coming. I learned early on that he hated people giving him orders; hated it with a passion. The only ones that I knew who survived giving him orders were the Council. Even his old captain was hesitant around him, always watching warily and uncertainly. 

"You called?" he drawled, giving me an evil eye, which was a lot better than what I thought would happen. 

"Yeah, I think we should form a plan to get out of here," I muttered. 

"I agree. I still need to pick up one other person and this is cutting into my plans with Aria," he grumbled, glaring at me balefully. 

"You? And Aria? You haven't changed at all," I grinned. I wondered how many crewmen would be moping around once he bedded and left them. 

"Yeah, well if this doesn't speed up and Aria gets bored of waiting because I took so long, I'm going to be pissed!" he snapped. _Yep, he hadn't changed at all,_ I smirked. 

I was about to blurt out my idea, but a low rumbling sound interrupted me. "What the fuck was that?" Shepard growled. 

"I think they finally grew a brain and decided to break through the wall," I muttered. 

"Wow, I didn't think those three groups had that much brain power put together. They must have found outside help to come up with that idea," he grinned, heading for the stairs, my laughter following him. It was good seeing him again; shocking, but good.  

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Shepard's point of view**

The last door was right in front of me. "Shepard, you have to hurry. Things are starting to get too intense up here," Garrus muttered through the comm. 

"Well, Garrus, you're going to have to hold on. I have my hands full here," I told him and then I thought of the two that I left with him. "Jacob, if he dies, I'm holding you solely responsible!" I snarled. I knew he would do something to protect Garrus, but Miranda I wasn't sure about. 

"I hear you Shepard," he muttered. 

I turned to Zaeed, who was standing next to me. "Move to the other side of the door, and remove whoever you can. I'm making a run for the door to close it. I can't trust those two to keep him safe," I told him. He nodded, moving away quickly as I took the other side of the room. I hit the switch while he took out everything that came for us. He was good, I had to admit that. I was impressed so far and he didn't have a problem following my orders, which was a bonus. 

We moved quickly towards Garrus' position. "Garrus, you still with us?" I asked using the comm.

"Yeah, I'm still here, but you better hurry," he muttered and I heard the strain in his voice. I knew I didn’t have much time left.  

"Well, you have incoming; two pissed-off Krogans. I'll be there shortly," I warned him as I took out another merc, heading for the stairs.

"Gee, thanks, Shepard," he grumbled. 

"Don't worry, I have your back! There is no way I'm going to let you die and leave me alone with those two," I scowled as I headed for the stairs. 

                                                                                ~ooo~

I watched coldly as Garrus was shot down, his body falling limply to the ground. Fuck! It actually bothered me seeing him fall. I turned my grenade launcher at the ship and didn't let off the trigger until I saw it smoking and falling to the ground with a thunderous explosion. 

"Joker, get Chakwas down here now. Garrus is down!" I ordered through the comm.

"What are you talking about, Garrus is down?" he hissed back at me.

"Exactly what I said! Garrus has been shot down. He happened to be one of the dossiers," I explained patiently. 

"Doc is on her way. But how is it you didn’t know you were going after Garrus?" he asked. 

"Joker, I don't have time for this!" I growled, disconnecting from him. 

It didn’t take too long for us to get him on the ship, though it might have been a waste of time. The Doc was working on him at the moment and Joker was staring at me, hoping for information. 

"So…." he asked impatiently. 

"So, what? Garrus is on board, practically dead; we'll find out if he lives later on today," I shrugged.

"Shepard, you don't fool me. I bet you were happy to see him," Joker grinned. 

"Joker, bite me!" I scowled. 

"Ha, you wish you could have a piece of me," he winked. I shook my head in amusement, knowing he was only joking. 

"Uh-huh, each and every passing day I wish," I smirked. 

"So which dossier was Garrus?" he asked curiously. 

"The vigilante, Archangel. Go figure that he of all people would have three different mercenary groups after him," I laughed. 

"Wow, what did he do?" he asked, astonished.  

"Don't know," I muttered, trying to figure out this change in Garrus. I would never have expected this from that particular Turian. 

"What are you going to do if he dies?" Joker asked quietly. 

"Everyone dies. If he dies, then he's gone. There is nothing I can do about it," I shrugged, though it would bother me somewhat. Garrus was one of the few individuals that I trusted at my back in a fight, and I could call a friend. There weren’t many I would be willing to put on that list of friends…Garrus, Wrex, and Joker. 

"Shepard, Garrus is going to pull through," Doc announced over the comm. 

"Good, when he is able to move about, let him know I want to see him," I ordered. 

"I will, Commander, but he has to stay in Med Bay for a few days at the very least," she stated firmly. "I would say a week, but knowing him, that won't happen," she added, her voice thick with annoyance.

"Let me guess, you want me to step in?" I asked with a bite to my words. 

"No, I wouldn't waste my time with a question like that. It will probably be you that helps him out," she stated before signing off. 

I left the cockpit, walking over to my computer to see if there were messages and to annoy Kelly with my presence. "So, I heard you used to know the Turian we have on board," she commented. 

"I did. We fought Saren together," I said absently. 

"So tell me, does he have better bedside manners than you?" she asked bitingly. 

"Wouldn't know, since I've never taken him to bed," I shrugged, smirking as she sputtered. 

There wasn't anything really important that had to be done right away. The few messages I had could wait until I was damned good and ready. 

"Joker, we won't be going after Mordin Solis until Garrus is up and around. I'm heading back to talk with Aria," I stated, smirking at the scowl on Kelly’s face. 

"Problem, Kelly?" I asked challengingly. 

"No, no problem, Commander," she hissed. 

I chuckled as I walked to the air lock, knowing she was glaring at my back. Poor Kelly, she's going to have to learn that sex is something  I do for pleasure and nothing else.       


	3. Chapter 3

I strolled up the steps toward the awaiting Asari; she watched me, smiling smugly as I neared. "You took your time," she drawled.

"They say waiting sweetens the prize," I smirked as my eyes roved over her body, taking in every curve; imagining everything I could do with her. 

"That's what they say, but it remains to be seen," she murmured, her voice lowering seductively as she glided over to me. "Follow me," she purred and motioned with a crook of her finger to a set of stairs that I hadn't noticed before. I followed her, paying more attention to her ass swaying in front of me than my surroundings. It was well worth the distraction.

She led me through some doors, toward a large bed with satin sheets. Nearby, a bottle of wine sat cooling in some ice. _Damn, a fucking romantic scene! You have got to be fucking kidding me!_ I thought sourly.

"Don't like it?" she asked with a smirk. 

"You didn't need the whole seduction scene," I muttered, motioning toward the wine, a disgusted expression on my face. 

She threw back her head and laughed. "Don't like romance? It’s the best way to get what you want when you're seducing someone," she smiled slyly as she strutted toward me. 

"Seduction isn't needed; I'm a done deal," I told her, grabbing her when she was within reach and shoving her up against the wall. _I’ve had enough of stupid games,_ I thought irritably.

"Then open your mind to me and I’ll show you pleasure like you've never known," she whispered. 

"No, not this time," I stated coldly. 

She leaned forward, her lips a breath apart from mine. "So, that’s the way you want it?" she murmured before pushing me away. I stumbled back a few steps, my knees hitting the side of the bed. She moved quickly, toppling me onto the bed and straddling my waist. 

Her hands moved to the clasps of my shirt. I grabbed them, locking them behind her back as I leaned up, claiming her mouth in a demanding kiss and flipping her onto her back as I moved myself between her legs. I reached down to my hip, slipping my knife out of its sheath; being very careful not to cut her. I broke the kiss, showing her the blade. Her eyes narrowed and she hissed; I could feel her biotics beginning to flare. With a grin, I slipped the blade beneath her shirt and sliced upwards, leaving her bare to my gaze. She watched me, her calculating eyes filled with passion. 

I kissed, licked and sucked my way down her body, stripping her of her pants as she writhed on the bed, moaning as my mouth found her center. I had to give it to Asari; they always tasted sweet, unlike some human females. I knew she was losing control as she panted loudly, grabbing my hair and grinding herself against my mouth. 

Without warning, just before she found her release I pulled back, unzipping my pants and slipping into her hot sheath. I groaned as I felt her muscles clench around me; her hips gyrating as I slowly thrust into her. She gasped as I pulled out and slammed back into her, finding the position that made her yell. 

Her biotics flared to life, washing over me, heightening both our pleasure. _Damn, I love Asari's!_ I thought as I came close to finding my own release. I felt her begin to probe my mind and I thrust into her savagely, breaking her concentration. She moaned as flesh met flesh. I hissed as I buried myself deep within her one final time, spilling into her. She cried out, her legs tightening around me; reaching yet another climax.

I lay still for a moment, waiting for my body to come down from its high. Slowly I stood up, enjoying the relaxed feel of my muscles. "I see you were in a hurry," she stated, almost sounding bitter. 

"Don't take offence. I don't strip for anyone," I told her harshly as I refastened my zipper. She gave me a curious look, waiting for an explanation. 

"So, what are you hiding beneath those clothes?" she asked with a calculated look. 

"That is something you will never find out," I snapped before turning and walking out. 

"We'll have to see about that…" her voice floated after me. _I don't fucking think so, bitch,_ I scowled toward the now closed door. 

                                                                                                ~oooooo~   

I stood behind Joker, listening to him bitch at EDI. "If the two of you keep this up, I'm leaving. You sound like a fucking married couple," I grumbled, my stomach turning at the thought of marriage or anyone being that close to one other. _Why the hell would someone want to do something stupid like that?_

"Huh, what would you know about how a married couple sounds?" Joker gave a snort of laughter. 

"I have parents. They sound a lot like the two of you," I said in disgust. 

Joker was about to say something, but a familiar voice interrupted us. "Shepard, there you are," Garrus said, coming toward me.

"What are you doing out of Med Bay already?" I asked in shock. I couldn’t believe that the Doc actually let him out.

"Do you really think I could stay in there any longer?" he asked. 

I chuckled. "Fine, you're coming with me while we go pick up a scientist named Mordin Solis. Miranda will be going with us, as well," I told him. 

"Why her?" he asked irritably. "She is so full of herself!"

"You'll see," I grinned and winked. 

"Oh yeah, you have a creepy assistant, too," he muttered. "She was asking about…" he trailed off, giving me a pointed look. I burst out laughing. 

"Say whatever you like; she is persistent," I grinned, shaking my head. 

"Too persistent. It seems she doesn't mind Turians, either," his mandibles flared out. I guessed he was grinning. 

"Don't! You don't want to go there," I muttered.

"Yeah, Shepard has already been there," Joker grinned. Garrus gave me a questioning look. I responded with a shake of my head. 

"Don't ask," I grumbled at him. 

"Garrus, maybe you can answer a question about Shepard for me?" Joker asked, grinning smugly at me. 

"What…?" he asked cautiously. 

"You've been out with Shepard a lot of times drinking. Have you ever notice anything _odd_ about him?" Joker asked curiously.

"What's he talking about?" Garrus asked, turning toward me. 

"Don't know," I grinned, shrugging my shoulders. He turned back to Joker, giving him a confused look. 

"Never mind. I can see you don't know or you would have had an answer," Joker said, sounding putout. 

"Anyway, we have to go, Joker. Have EDI keep tabs on communications and activities down on Omega," I ordered. 

"So, Shepard, what was he talking about?" Garrus asked as we walked to the airlock. 

"He's wondering about my preferences," I smirked. 

He gave a short laugh. "Only Joker would ask about that," he said, shaking his head. "And what did you tell him?" 

"Nothing," I grinned, the smile turning to a sneer when I saw Miranda walking toward us. "Garrus, she's your responsibility," I told him. 

"Great…. thanks, Shepard," he muttered. 

"Anytime, Garrus," I grinned, letting out a chuckle as I walked away. 

"So, Shepard is taking you so you can catch the plague," Miranda smiled snidely. 

"We're going there, Shepard? You do realize that Turians can catch the plague?" he asked, glaring at me.

"Yes, I know you could catch it. If you don't want to come, fine, but you know my rule," I stated coldly.

"I'm blaming you if I die from this plague," he grumbled. 

"You can blame me all you want. It won't make a difference to me – you'll be dead," I grinned as he rolled his eyes. 

"Jacob was right. You are cold," Miranda stated angrily. 

"Yes, I am. You would do well to remember that," I said, smiling dangerously at her.  

                                                                                ~ooo~

We walked through the halls, coming up against some opposition; though not as much as I had imagined we would. Miranda had to take cover most of the time; neither of us would cover or protect her. She was spitting mad and I was enjoying it. Garrus’ steps were lighter as we came across a group of Vorcha and Blue Suns fighting each other. 

"Wanna join in?" I asked, watching them fight. 

"We need to cross," he shrugged, watching them fire at each other. "So, Miranda, why don't you go first since you’re so perfect?" he asked, shooting her a malicious look. She glared at him while I grinned. 

"I'd pay to see if you survive," I said casually as her scowl turned to me. I nodded to her and looked pointedly toward the fight. "Well, what are you waiting for, a written invitation?" I asked snidely. 

"I am not crossing," she bit out. 

"Why? Not good enough? So your secret is out; you aren't perfect after all," I smirked. 

"You are an ass!" she bit out, taking a threatening step toward me. "I don’t know why I spent two years of my life working on your worthless hide!" 

"Yeah, well, from what I saw on some of those computers, it wasn't you doing the surgery. You were just overseeing things. So you could have left at any time and kept watch from a distance," I said snidely.

"What the fuck do you know? God, you're an ass!" she snarled, storming away. 

"Cold, Shepard! That was really cold!" Garrus looked at me, a shocked expression on his face. 

"Yes it was, but someone had to say it. If this team is going to work, then some of these people need to learn how to interact with others, without the superiority attitude," I bit out. I hated having to explain myself, but this was Garrus; so I let it slide. 

"Does that include you?" he asked. I wasn't sure if he was teasing, or serious. I wasn't taking the chance; I'd been nice long enough and he should have known better than to ask that question. 

"Garrus, how I interact with others isn't your concern. Your only job is following my orders," I stated coldly. 

"I hear you, Shepard. I remember the rules well," he muttered, giving me a dirty look. 

"Let's go find this scientist," I ordered.  

"Yeah, that would be a good idea," he said with a cough. "Oh damn, that’s not good," he muttered, his eyes widening. 

"You better not die on me or I'm leaving your ass here to rot," I scowled at him. 

"Gee thanks, Shepard," he said smarmily. "Don't worry yet. Didn’t they say it takes a day to incapacitate a person?" he spat, looking at me for confirmation.

"I don't know. I'm human. This doesn't affect me," I chuckled at his horrified look. 

"Yeah, all I ask is that you don't do to me what you did to the sick Batarian that we came across," he sighed. 

"Don't worry, I won't put a bullet in your head," I laughed as we walked away.

"You're such a friend, Shepard," he grinned as we walked into another battle. He covered the left side of the room as I fired at the right; both of us crouched behind boxes. "So, Shepard, how did Joker find out about that night with the Asari?" he asked as we ducked behind some crates, waiting for the barrage of gun fire coming at us to let up. I peeked over the top, seeing our moment; quickly we both let loose with our own arms, taking out quite a few opponents before we had to duck down once again. 

"He doesn’t know about the Asari. He made a smart remark and I corrected him on it. He mistook what I meant and implied that I had sex with you," I explained with a pointed look. He burst out laughing. 

"Well…" he trailed off as he saw the warning in my eyes. "We'll… damn, we will have to talk about this later," he grinned, rising from his hiding spot as we saw the Vorcha moving closer. We used our combined biotic and gun powers to take them out. 

"Let’s go find this Mordin Solis," I ordered, leading the way. We came to a door we hoped was his office. A pair or techs looked up as we entered the clinic. "Where do we find Mordin Solis?" I asked one of the assistants. 

"He's in the back," the assistant answered absently while turning his attention back to another patient.

We found the Salarian looking over some information on a computer, muttering to himself. "Are you Mordin Solis?" I asked as I walked into the office, examining the various pads on his desk. 

He walked over to Garrus, running a scan. "Hmm, infected, got cure," he muttered, giving Garrus a quick injection. Quickly he turned to me, the scanner still in his hand.

"If you dare scan me with that, I will shove it up your ass," I growled. 

"Not possible, wouldn't fit Salarian rectum. Could kill a Salarian," he rambled, staring at me coldly. 

"And your point is?" I asked with a malicious grin. Our hands went to our guns at the same time, both of us aiming at our opponent’s head.  

I watched him closely, waiting for the tremor that always came when someone pitted themself against me. "Steady hand, unflinching eye, killed many before. Who are you?" he asked, lowering his gun. 

"My name is Shepard. I'm here to recruit you for a dangerous mission. I heard you were the best and I need the best," I stated simply. 

"Can't leave. Have too much to do. Have to make sure the cure gets out," he muttered in a quick-spoken manner that was actually a relief;  at least I didn't have to hear him ramble on. 

"I don’t have time to wait around for you to get this cure out!" I snarled. Damn, this wasn't going the way I hoped. 

"You could put cure through ventilation system. That way it blows through the district," Mordin stated, waiting patiently for my answer. Well, at least he wasn't giving me a hopeful look. 

"Fine, but you had better be ready to go when we get back!" I retorted furiously, mere inches from him. He didn’t flinch or blink at the threat; nor did he seem to take it seriously. It made me wonder about him. Whether he was actually that cold or merely putting on a show.  

"Will be ready when you return," he nodded, turning back to the information on his computer. 

                                                                                ~ooo~

We returned to Mordin hours later. I was not happy at all. We wiped out the Vorcha that were near the ventilation system; finally injecting the cure into the machine and restarting the fans to circulate it. I hoped Mordin would be ready to leave. I'd spent enough time on this fucking planet. 

I stopped just as we entered the office. Garrus nudged my arm, nodding toward a female human that was watching us. I grinned as she blushed prettily. _Well, I guess we could stay for a short while,_ I grinned to myself as she turned back to her work.

"Are you sure you want to still leave early?" Garrus asked with a grin. 

"No, I think we should stay longer," I winked at him. "So, if I can arrange it, you want to join in?" I asked him. 

He looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. "Nah, not this time," he muttered. I watched him closely, knowing he was lying. Suddenly, a thought came to me. 

"With all the times you and I went to bars, haven't you once been with a human female?" I asked bluntly, trying to hide my astonishment and amusement. 

"No, never saw most humans in that light. Your race is too soft, easily damaged," he stated, giving me a pointed look. 

"Well, if you could refrain from biting and using your claws, it's not that much different from being with an Asari. The main difference is that humans don't do the ‘mind-meld’ shit," I told him as we both watched the female human. 

"That's easier said than done; it’s instinctual to bite when we are mating," he muttered, glowering at me.  

"I'll think about it," he continued. "It's not the same as our time at the Dark Star lounge, though." 

"True, but the offer is still there. Let's go talk with Mordin and get his ass to the ship. I'll be coming back here later," I smirked.

We walked into the back room; Mordin was there waiting for us, but I could see the worry in his eyes. Great! I knew he wanted me to do something else; so much for being finished with him. "What do you want?" I asked, annoyance evident in my tone. 

"My assistant left with part of the cure. Worried that he might have been harmed," he said, looking pointedly at me. 

"No!" I snapped. "Pack your stuff now and get your ass onto the Normandy!" I ordered coldly. He opened his mouth to say something, but I shook my head firmly. "If you back out of our deal, I will kill you slowly. Even when you are pleading, I won't quit," I grinned maliciously.

"Shepard, how about you take him with us to find his assistant?" Garrus suggested. 

"Garrus…" I said in warning. 

"Just think of all the possibilities if he comes. You can find out if he can fight or...." he trailed off with a grin. I grinned back, appreciating his way of thinking. 

I turned to Mordin. "Let's go if you want to save your apprentice," I ordered him. He blinked slowly then nodded. He followed us out of the clinic. He wasn't stealthy, but I hadn’t met anyone yet that I would call stealthy. 

It didn't take us long to find the idiot assistant. He had a gun pointed to his head and was  shaking uncontrollably. "Mordin, you don't want to interfere," Garrus stated, grabbing his lab coat to keep him out of my way. 

Three Batarians stood in the room, waiting for me to make the first move. One of them held the gun was pointed at Daniel's head. The other two stood there waiting with their guns trained on us. I raised my gun and Garrus raised his. 

"Garrus, lower your gun," I ordered. He gave me a confused look. I turned my focus to him for a moment and his eyes widened. He gave a slow nod, holstering his pistol; his hands remaining behind his back. 

I turned to the three in the room. "I swear I wasn't trying to kill them. I came here to cure them," Daniel pleaded. I rolled my eyes, sighing exasperatedly. 

"Pity you didn't try and kill them; then you wouldn't be in this position, would you?" I asked coldly, pointing my gun at the Batarian who held him hostage. 

"I knew humans couldn't be trusted," the Batarian spat, his hand tightening, almost pulling the trigger. 

"I don't give a fuck what you think. Either pull the fucking trigger and be done with it or let him go," I growled. I hated that I had to save this moron. He should die for his stupidity; but here I was, going against every moral sense I had and saving him. 

The Batarian's eyes widened, his hand trembled and I pulled the trigger. He took too long making his decision. Garrus and Mordin killed the last two. I turned to Daniel, scowling at him. "What the fuck did you think you were doing? Are you really that stupid, to come out here alone without someone covering your back?" I spat angrily as he stood there, shaking. 

"I just wanted to help them," he mumbled pathetically. 

"Help them? Why do something stupid like that? So they could kill you?" I asked coldly. "For wasting my time, I should kill you right here and be done with it."

"Mordin…?" his voice trembled as he turned to the Salarian. 

"Go back to the office and don't leave until it is safe," Mordin muttered, glaring at me. "Shepard, he is young and irrational, shouldn't die for that." 

"That your opinion, Doc. Don't try and tell me what to think!" I growled. I needed to hit something; I wanted to vent the frustration that I felt from having to be good. It irked me to no end that I had to be nice. This damned scientist had better be worth it. 

                                                                                ~ooo~

I stayed under the hot spray of the shower, letting the heat seep into my muscles, easing my tension. My eyes closed as I thought back to the assistant of Mordin's that I had seduced. I smiled, thinking about how enthusiastic she had been at first; her soft lips and hands travelling over any skin that I allowed to show. Her moans breathed softly in my ear as her hands gripped my hair. 

I entered her roughly at first, stopping when I felt the resistance that I had broken through. Her cry of pain and fear echoing in the room. _Oh shit, a virgin,_ I thought with disgust. That was one group that I always avoided; now here I was fucking one. I was glad Garrus hadn't taken me up on my offer.                 

Why the hell did she have to be a virgin? Leaving the clinic had been a nightmare after seducing that chit of a girl. She wanted to know when I was coming back, and what would be happening between us now. 

With a sigh of disgust, I left the shower, a towel wrapped around my waist. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Garrus lounging on my couch. "Garrus, what are you doing here?" I scowled at him. 

His eyes widened as he saw me, his mandibles twitching. "I came to chat," he answered, averting his eyes. _So he had forgotten; the ass,_ I thought, glaring at him. 

"Uh huh, and you're going to do that by staring at the floor?" I asked sarcastically. His gaze whipped to me, a startled expression crossing his face. 

"Sorry," he muttered, running his hand over the back of his head. 

"So, you came here to chat? I have a better idea. Look these over and tell me what you think," I smirked, tossing him the data pad off my desk. 

"Dossiers? More people you have to pick up?" he asked with a raised brow ridge. I gave a brief nod. "Jack sounds interesting and  powerful, but this Okeer I've never heard of. You should ask Wrex about him," Garrus muttered. 

"Wrex? Where is he now?" I asked, smiling at the thought of the old Krogan.

"Last I heard he went home to Tuchanka. You might want to send him a message asking about this Okeer. He would know more than we would," he replied. 

"Why the hell did he go back there?" I asked him, perplexed. Wrex used to bitch about his people. 

"Don't know," he shrugged, scanning through the other dossier. "Is there more information on Subject Zero?" 

"No, the pain in the ass decided that was all I needed to know," I scowled, taking the pad from him. "So who do you think we should go after first?" I asked, watching him closely. I wanted to see if he had finally grown up.

"Jack should be first. Ask Wrex about Okeer before you collect him," he said decisively.

"Sounds good. Go inform Joker to set course for Zorya," I ordered. 

"Shepard? Neither of these people is on Zorya," he commented uncertainly. 

"No they aren't," I stated coldly. He stood there, waiting for me to tell him. "Well?" I looked pointedly at the door. 

"Fine, I'll let Joker know the change of plans," he muttered and stepped into the elevator, the door closing behind him. 

                                                                                ~ooo~

I stood behind Joker's seat, watching as we neared the planet. Zaeed stood behind me, ready to leave. "So, Shepard, you've been grinning. That doesn't bode well for the people down there," Joker commented. 

"No, it doesn't. This is a revenge mission; I'm going to see it completed. There are workers down there that need to be saved, but they'll have to look out for themselves. Our main priority is finding Vido Santiago and taking him out," I smirked. 

"Oh, Garrus is going to love this," Joker muttered. "Are you going to tell him beforehand?"

"No," I stated coldly. 

"I don't think that’s a good idea. You should warn him," Joker grumbled.

"Are you telling me what I should and shouldn't do?" I asked viciously. His eyes widened and he swallowed nervously. 

"No. I know better than to do that, Commander," he said quietly. 

"Good, I'm heading to the shuttle. Let me know when we can land," I nodded and stalked off with Zaeed following behind me. 

"Why was he asking about Garrus? He's a Turian," he asked gruffly. 

"Don't worry about it. I'll deal with him if he has a problem," I bit out, jumping into the shuttle when Garrus showed up.

"So, we are saving innocents?" Garrus asked, looking amused. "How much did you have to pay Shepard to do this mission? 

"He didn't and we aren't saving anyone. We're hunting someone down. The 'innocents' can take care of themselves," I said with a cold smile. 

"I should have known. If we come across them, do we still ignore them?" he asked uncertainly. 

"What do you think? If you can't turn a blind eye, I would suggest you stay in the shuttle," I said, meeting his unflinching gaze. 

"No, I've got your back," he nodded with certainty in his eyes. I let a small smile show. _So Garrus has finally toughened up,_ I thought. 

The shuttle touched down. Zaeed was the first one out, gun ready. Excitement and satisfaction shone in his eyes. "Take lead, Zaeed!" I ordered. 

We moved through the forest to a large structure. A group of Blue Suns met us, led by a cocky, dark haired man. "Zaeed Massani, you finally tracked me down," he spat.

"Vido!" Zaeed sneered, pulling his gun. 

"Don’t be stupid! I have a full company of blood thirsty bastards behind me; ready to kill or be killed on my command," Vido smirked. "Actually, take your shot! Give my men a reason to put you down like the mad dog you are. Again."

"Good, it's been a while since I was in a blood bath," I grinned, pulling my own gun. Anticipation ran through me as Zaeed flicked his gaze toward a gas panel behind Vido’s shoulder. 

"Who the fuck are you?" Vido scowled. 

"Someone who is going to enjoy slaughtering your people," I grinned maliciously. 

Zaeed took aim at the panel, causing a gas leak. Vido, misinterpreting the action, gloated about Zaeed missing his target. _Fucking idiot, I was hoping this was going to be challenging,_ I thought mournfully as he taunted Zaeed, seconds away from being blown up. 

Zaeed didn't bother replying to the taunts. I wouldn't have, either; not to this guy. He was too stupid to notice his own demise. With another shot, the panel exploded, raining fire onto Vido and his men, who made a quick retreat through the hatch behind them.

"Shall we?" Zaeed asked with a grin. 

"Definitely," I chuckled, letting him lead the way.

As we moved further into the plant, a plaintive voice called from above us. "Please, you have to help us! We're trapped! We can't get to the shut off valve," a man cried from an upper platform. I hesitated for a moment; not because I wanted to save them, but because I wondered if we could use this to our advantage. 

"You're not thinking about saving them, are you?" Zaeed asked with a disgusted look. 

I snorted, looking at him with amusement. "God no, but I'm wondering if we can use that fire to our advantage." I shrugged. I turned an annoyed gaze toward the pleading man. "Will you shut the fuck up?" I yelled. He looked at me, startled. 

"But…but we will all die…" he trailed off as I smiled at him. 

"And how is that my problem? You didn't try leaving before, why should I help you now?" I spat cruelly.

"Shepard, I'm heading inside. I’ll wait for you to finish here," Garrus muttered, not meeting my eyes as he hurried through the doors. 

"Shepard, we don't have time for this," Zaeed hissed. 

"Let's go," I ordered. 

"You cold, heartless bastard!" the man screamed wrathfully. I turned cold eyes at him and shot once, hitting him in the leg. I grinned as he collapsed to the ground, screaming profanities at me. 

"Why didn’t you just kill him?" Zaeed asked with a quizzical look. 

"Why bother? He was getting on my nerves," I shrugged. 

"Cold, Shepard, real cold," he grinned as he entered the building. 

_Damn!  I wish I could gather an army like this.  I wouldn't have to worry about the Collectors; I could just use these guys as cannon fodder,_  I thought to myself as we cleared out the complex. Vido stood in front of us, begging for his life; trying to _persuade_ us to allow him to live. _I don't fucking think so,_ I thought, glaring at him. I waited for Zaeed to take the killing shot, but he didn't raise his gun. I started wondering if Massani was all talk. Was he actually going to save Vido's life? If that was the case,  I would kill him myself. 

Zaeed turned to walk away, prying a round out of his gun. With a small smile he threw it toward Vido. I heard the roar of fire as it exploded. I listened to Vido's screams, his cries of pain and fear. It was music to my ears. 

"You ready to go, Zaeed?" I asked. Garrus moved up beside me, ready to be away from the place. I could see in his eyes that I had overstepped what he was comfortable with, but I really didn't care. He knew what I was like before he agreed to rejoin me. 

"Yeah, let's get out of here," Zaeed muttered, climbing into the shuttle, a smile on his face.

                                                                                ~ooooo~

I went up to my quarters, and looked at my bed in disgust. I wondered if I could get Kelly up here again or maybe that woman down in Engineering. It was a thought. Though the more I thought about it, the more it turned me off. The last thing I needed was either of them believing we were in a relationship. 

I glanced at the picture on my desk, shaking my head. The only picture of me and it had been on a dare. I stood just behind Ashley as we both smiled. I won good money from that bet. 

It figured Cerberus would put this in here; they probably thought we were romantically involved, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. I'd fucked her the night before going after Saren. I needed to let off some steam and she was an easy target. 

I scanned the contents of Jack’s dossier; not much detail was given and I didn't like it. I wanted more information, but the fucking asshole doesn't think I needed it and he was the one pulling the strings at the moment. At least he was until I could find a way to get rid of him. That day would be one of my happier ones. 

"Shepard, we should arrive at the correctional facility in three days," EDI announced before blinking out.

So, three days until I see more action. _Now what the hell am I supposed to do until then?_ I wondered. That wench down in Engineering was looking better and better for a distraction. I had to give it to the Illusive Man; he knew how to pick his women.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack was a _she_ _\- what the fuck?_ She was a psychotic bitch, too. She took out three fucking Mechs single handedly. I was impressed; I really had to meet this woman. We followed her trail of destruction through holes in the walls, dead bodies, and people screaming in terror. I had to grin at the mayhem this woman was causing at the prison. 

Garrus walked beside me, shaking his head. "You're enjoying this too much," he chuckled. 

"Do you blame me?" I asked with a grin as we finished taking out the great Warden Kuril, who was using the prison as his own personal slave market. 

"No, but I don't think she will come with us willingly," he commented. 

"I have to agree. Once she's on the ship, what's to stop her from destroying it?" Zaeed asked. He did have a point, especially seeing the damage she had caused here. 

"Don't worry, she won't have a chance," I bit out; the thought of another Normandy being destroyed turned my stomach. 

"I hope you know what you're doing," Garrus sighed. I was about to answer, but stopped when the doors opened before us. Jack stood there pacing the hall, screaming out in fury. Her biotics were flaring to life in conjunction with her anger. Fine! If the bitch wanted to play this way, then play we would. 

"It looks like that is the only way off this ship," I commented, getting her full attention. 

"Fucking Cerberus," she hissed, taking my measure and preparing to fight. I could see her muscles tightening. 

"Don't even think about it. We're here to collect you for a mission," I stated coldly. 

"You expect me to go with you on a Cerberus ship?" she scoffed. 

"You can either come willingly or out cold; I don’t give a fuck either way," I smirked as she growled low in her throat. 

"I'd like to see you try," she smiled maliciously, ready for an attack. 

I had to smile; she was one cold bitch. "Fine, I'll leave you here to burn on this ship. At the moment, you're more trouble than you're worth," I said with a shrug. "Or you can come with us and join our team."

"If I join you, I want full access to your computers," she demanded adamantly. 

"Done, search for whatever you want. I don't give a fuck. But while you are on my ship, you won't harm the people or the vessel," I snapped, walking past her to the airlock, a grin on my face that she couldn't see. It was almost too easy to get her on board. 

                                                                                ~oooooo~

I walked into the Mess Hall, taking a seat next to Joker and Garrus. "So, what are you going to do about that Krogan in stasis?" Joker asked, looking worried. "If you want my opinion, I would send him out the airlock."

"No, I'm letting him out once I'm done eating here," I smirked as they both gawked at me. 

"I'll be there when you let him out," Garrus commented, grimacing at the food on his plate. I didn't blame him; it looked like I'd have to find another cook and soon. 

"I don't need protection, Garrus," I bit out, scowling at him. Did he really think I couldn't take care of myself with one Krogan? 

"I won’t be there to protect you. It's to make sure that you don't kill him right away," he said, his mandibles twitching in amusement.    

"If I'm going to kill him, you better not try to stop me," I bit out, pushing my plate away. "You ready?" 

We left Joker at the table, watching us leave with amusement. Okeer’s experiment was in the cargo bay, waiting to be released. "So, how do you want to do this?" Garrus asked as we stood in front of the stasis pod. 

You stay out of the way. I'll handle this," I told him as I ordered EDI to unlock the pod. I took a few steps back as the Krogan collapsed to the floor, coughing up fluid. He looked up at me with cold, unflinching eyes. I could see my death in them as he stood to his full height, towering over me. 

His eyes flicked to Garrus, and a sneering smile curved his mouth. "Need a Turian to fight your battles, human?" he asked calmly, his voice belying the intent in his eyes. Without warning, he rushed toward me quickly, pinning me against the wall. His arm pressed against my wind pipe as he brought his face close to mine. 

"Back the fuck off!" I growled, holding my gun to his side. 

"Humans are weak, so easily killed," he said thoughtfully. _Enough of this fucking bullshit,_ I thought to myself as I pulled the trigger twice, each time hitting skin. He grunted, backing away as I fired a few more shots, making sure to only hit his armor. Shock showed in his eyes as he stared at me. 

I moved forward quickly, my biotics flaring to life and increasing my strength as I knocked him against the wall. I pressed my gun against his throat; it would be a killing blow if he pushed this any further. "Try that again and I'll kill you slowly," I stated, my voice calm and cold.

"I need a name," he muttered, more to himself than to me. 

"Shepard," I bit out, putting my gun away. 

"Not your name, human! I need mine! I have no name; Okeer didn't give me one," he said. I waited as he muttered incoherently to himself, and then turned his focus back to me. "Grunt, that is my name," he nodded with certainty. I lowered my arm to my side, releasing him from the biotic hold I had on him. 

"Fine, Grunt it is. But cross me again and we will finish this," I said as I moved across the room, away from him. 

"If I ever find a clan, I would be glad to pit them against you," he grunted, walking back over to his stasis pod. 

"Garrus, let’s go!" I ordered. 

"Shepard, why do you have the Turian with you when you could have taken me easily?" Grunt asked. 

I turned and looked at him. "I came to make sure he didn't kill you," Garrus answered with a shrug as he walked out. I smirked at the Turian’s back, following him to the elevator. 

"Are you sure it’s a good idea, keeping him alive?" he asked as we waited for the doors to open. 

"He won't cross us; he would be stupid to," I answered. "But I want him watched. Set something up to cover him, at least for now," I ordered. 

"Sure, Shepard. I'll set up some cameras in the cargo bay; that way we'll know everything and won't have to spare any crew members. Do you want me to have the feed only accessible to your terminal?"

"No, I want it accessible to all terminals. That way it's not just me keeping watch," I said as he stood at the door, preparing to leave the elevator. 

"I'll have it finished by the end of the day," he said, stepping out onto the Crew Quarters deck. Well, that was one problem I had solved. 

"Commander Shepard, the ship already has security cameras in the cargo hold. I could make sure all terminals have access to them," EDI said. 

"Do it and make sure to let Garrus know that he won't have to," I ordered. I left the elevator, smirking as I saw Kelly scowling at me. I walked over to her, enjoying her discomfort as she shifted in her spot. "Is there a problem, Kelly?" I asked mockingly.

"No, there isn't," she bit out coldly. 

"Really? You could have fooled me," I mocked. "Are you upset because I haven't been paying attention to you lately?" I grinned. 

"NO!" she shouted, catching everyone’s attention. I chuckled as she stood there; blushing at the attention she had drawn to herself.

"Really… you remind me of a woman scorned at the moment," I said softly, my disbelief plainly showing. 

"Your sweet talking won't get me back into your bed, Shepard!" she sneered coldly. 

"Why, Kelly, such thoughts! I never asked you to return to my bed. I was just trying to find out what has you so upset," I said, raising my voice a bit so the eavesdroppers would hear.  I heard the snickers of a few of the crew members. Kelly turned a few more shades of red as she stood there, shaking. 

"Shepard, you're an asshole," she hissed quietly, so the others wouldn't hear. 

"Really? You didn't seem to think so when you came to my cabin," I grinned. 

"What do you want, Shepard?" she asked coldly, glaring at me. 

"What do you think I want, Kelly?" I asked, an amused expression covering my face. 

"I know damn well what you want," she bit out, scowling. "You're trying to charm me back into your bed."

"However fun that might be, it's not what I want. I want you to do your job and quit glaring at me like it's my fault. I didn't force you into my bed, and you knew what I was looking for. So, grow up!" I snapped harshly, watching as her face crumbled. I could see the sheen of tears in her eyes as she stared at me. 

"I hear you, Commander. It won't happen again," she said softly. 

"You're right, it won't," I sneered as I walked away from her. The others averted their eyes as I walked by them, and silence descended on the deck as I made my way to the cockpit. Joker had his seat turned toward me, waiting for me to reach him. 

"That was harsh, Commander, but she should have known what you were like before going up to your cabin," Joker shrugged. "It's not like your reputation as a seducer is a secret or anything."

"Well, it's taken care of now. So, there is no need to worry about it anymore, I hope," I said, scowling. 

"Anyway, Commander, the Illusive Man wants to talk with you," Joker said, grinning as I swore. "I wouldn't speak to him with that mouth; remember, he's signing our checks.” 

"What the fuck does that ass want now?" I hissed. "Patch him through to the conference room. I'll be there in a few moments."

"Will do, Commander," Joker said, smirking as I walked away.

I really didn't want to have to talk with that fucking asshole again, but it looked like I had no choice.  The doors opened in front of me, showing an image of the Normandy. Without a word, I was scanned and my holo image appeared in front of the Illusive Man. 

"Ah, Shepard, good to see you," he drawled. He had a crisp, clear voice. It got on my nerves. 

"To what do I owe this honor?" I asked mockingly, smirking when his smile fell. 

"We have information that the Collectors are going to hit the human colony on Horizon," he said.

"You have information or you set it up so they would hit that planet?" I asked with a sneer, upsetting him more. 

"You should know that the Alliance sent one of their own there; your former Gunnery Chief, Ashley Williams," he murmured thoughtfully. I could see the malicious light in his eyes; he wanted to get a rise out of me. He didn’t know me at all if he thought that piece of information was going to upset me. 

"Huh. Well, this trip should be interesting. Maybe if there is time, I should say hello in my own personal way," I grinned as he glared at me, his hand tightening on the arm rest of his chair. 

"I've received reports that you've been having relations with one of your crew members. I've heard that it has created stress with the crew," he said, and I heard the question in his comment. 

"Yes, I fucked Kelly. If she didn't want it, she shouldn't have come up to my room. She knew all I was looking for was relief, not a relationship," I replied casually, grinning at the scowl on his face. 

"I think we've covered everything. Head to Horizon and stop the Collectors!" he ordered, ending the holo conference. 

"You heard him, Joker. Get us to Horizon," I ordered. 

"Yes, Commander. We'll be there in three days’ time," he answered before I closed the comm channel. 

I left the room, wondering who I should take with me to the colony. I wanted to take Grunt, but he wasn't fast and I knew we would need to move quickly against the Collectors. I knew I was taking Garrus, and maybe Zaeed or Jack. I walked into the Main Battery; Garrus was doing calibrations. 

"Shepard, need me for something?" he asked without turning around. 

"Yeah, you're coming to Horizon with me. I'm not sure who else I should take, though," I muttered, taking a seat on the crates nearby. 

"What's going on?" he asked, finally turning to face me. 

"The Collectors are going to hit Horizon; we're going to stop them…hopefully," I answered. 

"Don't worry, I'll be ready," he said, a curious look crossing his face. "How did your chat go with Kelly?" 

"Fine. We came to an understanding," I grinned, leaving him there to do his calibrations. 

~ooooo~

Horizon wasn't able to be saved. The Collectors were still there, but they'd taken most of the colonists to their ship. Those they hadn’t taken yet were in some type of stasis. I had to give it to Mordin; he knew how to keep the swarmers from attacking us. I brought him with me for that very reason; if his invention were to fuck up, he would know about it firsthand. 

"Well, Mordin, you should be pleased. Your little invention actually worked," I grinned. 

"See, nothing to worry about," he nodded with certainty. Cocky bastard, but he deserved to be at the moment. 

"Well, let's search around and see what there is to find," I ordered, gesturing for Mordin to go first. He was quick and agile; I knew he could dodge oncoming fire. 

We came up against another group of Collectors, and one of them morphed into something new - a super bug. The part that sent a shiver down my spine was that it called to me by name; tempting me to join them, to give up. That they knew my name at all was eerie and downright disturbing. 

"So, Shepard, it looks like you've made quite the impression on them. Is there something you want to share that you haven't told me about?" Garrus joked. 

"Laugh it up, Turian," I grumbled as we shot at the enemy. I moved quickly, maintaining fire on the morphed Collector. After several hits, it disintegrated. "Finally, that fucking thing shut up," I sighed in relief.

We came to a bunker with a colonist hiding inside; he reeked of fear as he stared at us with wide eyes. "Is there anything in this bunker that can help us against those Collectors?" I asked abruptly.

"No, I don't think so," he muttered. I searched the area, looking around for anything that could be of use, but I wasn't surprised that I found nothing. 

"Are you going to get the people back?" he asked hopefully. 

"If we can, but I'm making no promises," I answered. _Was this guy serious?_ I thought furiously. _Get the people back from the ship? He had to be insane if he thought we were going to board one of their ships to rescue those colonists and take care of the Collectors on the ground._ I looked at him incredulously. "Stay here," I ordered. _He better stay put because I wasn't going to save his ass if he left._

"Head out!" I muttered, taking the lead. I wasn’t surprised when we located another group of Collectors. It was still unnerving that they were calling me by name, however. "Wow, Shepard, I think you may have earned your own Collector fan club," Garrus chuckled. 

“I would really like to know why they are so focused on me. It wasn't like I was the only one on the old Normandy that took down Saren and Sovereign," I grumbled. 

"No, but you were the only one willing to put a stop to him," Garrus replied, reminding me of all the hassle I went through with the Council. They had pissed me off more times than I could count. Then there was Udina, the ambassador for humanity; more like the asshole of humanity. So much bullshit left his mouth, I was surprised that he didn't resemble a piece of shit. 

"That’s all of them; now all we have to do is create a link for EDI to that terminal," Garrus said, pointing his gun at the defense access point. 

"Yeah, and as soon as we start, you realize that we are going to be overrun? That’s the way it always works," I muttered as we made our way to the computer, keeping an eye out for ambushes. I was surprised that we were able to get there without further attacks. 

"Mordin, hook up the link with EDI. Garrus, we'll be covering him until he's done. Be prepared for a lot of enemies coming at us from all angles," I ordered. 

The first group was easy enough. The three of us took them out without having to move around much, but those bloody bastards wouldn't give us time to breathe; they just kept coming. One wave after another, each one stronger than the last. 

We all sighed in relief when we were given a few minutes to recover. EDI was still calibrating the turrets. "Shepard, we have a big problem," Garrus muttered, and something in his voice worried me. 

I looked over the edge of my covering. "What the fucking hell? They fly now?" I swore profusely. 

"Looks like it, but I would move if I were you. It’s heading right for you," Garrus warned. I glanced over the crate and saw that he was right. _Why the fuck are they after me?_ I thought as I ran from my cover, dodging the creature’s attacks. 

"Man, that bug likes you!” Garrus yelled. “Keep moving! We'll try and turn its attention from you!" 

"If I keep fucking moving, I won't have any more cover and that thing will burn my ass with its laser," I muttered, running behind yet another crate. I took a few shots, not making a dent in its armor. _Damn! This shit doesn’t bode well for me!_ I thought irritably.

I ran to my next cover, stopping when I saw the creature was almost above me. "Shepard, drop!" Garrus yelled. I did as he instructed, dropping prone to the ground; feeling the heat of the bug's laser as it missed me by inches. 

I scrambled to my feet, the flying bug's laser just missing again as I ducked out of sight once more. I took the Collector weapon off my back, hoping it was going to work. If it didn't, I was fucked seven ways to Sunday. I might as well kiss my ass goodbye. 

"Shepard, what are you doing?" Garrus asked as he saw me hesitate to take cover again. Without answering, I pulled the trigger; not letting off until the huge bug disintegrated. 

"What the hell was that?" he asked as he and Mordin came over to me. I let him take the cannon and inspect it. "Nice! We should make one for everyone," he said thoughtfully. "We also need to find a way to upgrade it so that it holds more ammo." 

"I agree. We can discuss this more on the ship. Right now…." I trailed off as we heard an ominous rumbling. The defense turrets came to life, shooting at the Collectors’ ship as it left. Debris came spiraling down toward us. "RUN!" I yelled. 

We high-tailed it out of the area toward the bunkhouse we had exited from, our arms covering our heads from falling debris. We took refuge behind some crates, waiting for the wreckage to settle. We came out when it was safe to stand once again. 

"Why didn't you save them? Why didn't you stop them from taking everyone?" the man we'd met earlier yelled frantically, racing toward us.

"And how the hell were we supposed to stop them when we were under constant attack, defending this fucking colony?" I asked bitingly, stalking toward the man. "I didn't see you do anything other than hide your ass while we fought for the people here. Yet you put the blame on us. Go fuck yourself!" 

"Shepard, we should go," Garrus reminded me. 

"You're right, we should," I replied, scowling a final time at the man. 

"Shepard…wait! I know that name. You're some type of big Alliance hero," he spat disgustedly. I was about to say something biting when a familiar voice interrupted me. 

"Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy, first human Spector, Savoir of the Citadel," Ashley said with a grin. "You're in the presence of a god, back from the dead." 

Hey! I liked the sound of that - _a god_. _I could really get used to that name,_ I thought, grinning.  She moved toward me, wrapping her firm arms around me and pulling me into a hug. I rolled my eyes, hugging her back. I thought about shoving her roughly away; she had only been a one night stand. But she seemed so happy to see me and who was I to say no to a woman's affections?    

"I thought you were dead, Commander. We all did," she murmured, smiling. 

"I was. Cerberus brought me back to stop the Collectors," I told her, returning her smile. 

"Yeah, I heard about that. So, you are with the enemy now," she scowled, showing her disgust at me.

"Hold on, you knew I was alive? How the fuck did you know?" I asked, confused as to why she would be so shocked to see me if she already knew that I was alive. 

"The Alliance had heard the rumors. We made some inquiries, solidifying our hunch that you turned to the enemy. How could you do that to me? To the Alliance?" she asked angrily. 

"Hold on – to you? What about you? If you're talking about that one night we had together, then you need to give your head a shake. Garrus would have more reason to be pissed off than you. We shared more women and time in bed then you and I ever did!" I sneered, glancing over at Garrus as he covered his mouth, making a coughing sound. 

"Cerberus is the enemy! How could you betray us?" she bit out, her eyes burning bright with seething rage. 

"Well, obviously it was very easy. They brought me back; the Alliance turned its back on me after everything that I did for them. I thought you were a smart person, so you figure it out," I stated coldly, my anger rising to meet hers. 

"You know what Cerberus is like; you've seen what they do!" she argued. 

"Yes, and you're looking at one of their fucking successes! Not twenty minutes ago, it didn’t seem to matter to you that I was one of their experiments, when you knew I was alive," I smirked as she scowled. "What, Ashley, hate having logic thrown in your face?" I mocked. 

"You would throw away what we had for…" she began, but I cut her off. 

"Throw away what? One night of sex before a big fight? You were a willing body, as was Liara the night before. We had nothing except for a night to find release; don't put more stock in it than there was. Is that why you’re so focused on Cerberus? Because you can't face that I used you for my own needs?" I asked cruelly. 

I saw it coming; I didn’t bother moving out of the way or ducking the blow. Her fist swung out, connecting to my jaw firmly; my grin turning into a mocking laugh as she stood there, seething. "You're lucky you're not a man, or I would kill you for that," I spat.

"You're a bastard!" she hissed through clenched teeth. 

"Tell me something I don't know. You aren't the first to call me that and won't be the last," I retorted and laughed at her, tormenting her further. 

"I see you're still hanging around aliens. I should have figured you would turn to them, even though you’re more than willing to look to Cerberus," she said scathingly. "You're a traitor to your own people, Shepard!" 

My body went still. I knew my eyes were cold and distant; she took a few stumbling steps back, fear in her eyes. "A traitor, is it?” I said, shaking with fury. “I'm a traitor in your eyes because I didn't kill the Council aliens so that humans could be in control. You're proof that humans aren't ready for that responsibility; your hatred of aliens proves that. Let me ask you this – what is the Alliance doing to stop these attacks on human colonies? How many people did you lose before they decided to check things out? And you stand here defending them, calling me a traitor when they haven't even bothered to listen! Go back to your fucking leash holders, where you belong!" I snapped, turning to walk away from her.  

Garrus walked beside me, not saying a word; but I could see the laughter still lurking in his eyes. That sight helped calm me as we moved toward the shuttle. 

"Shepard, a moment of your time?" Mordin asked, motioning me to the side. 

"Sure, Mordin, what is it?" I asked when we were out of Garrus' hearing. 

"It appears you're a very sexual human. Want you to come to lab for tests; make sure there are no bugs," he said with a smirk. 

"Actually that would be a good idea; considering I didn't use protection with Aria, Kelly or your young assistant," I grinned as his eyes got wider with each name. 

"You've been busy. Good to get checked out, just in case," Mordin muttered, beating a hasty retreat to the shuttle, my laughter following him.  


	5. Chapter 5

Going after the Drell was a pain in the ass. He had better damn well be worth this. I knew he was quick and silent, but he wasn't as good as his dossier said he was. I spotted him several times; the first was shortly after we entered the building. I felt someone watching me, and I knew it was him. I found him with my scope, hiding in the ducts. If he was as good as the dossier claimed, I should not have been able to find him, or so I kept reminding myself.

Though I had to admit that he was quick; one moment he was there and the next he was gone. I turned to Garrus. "We're picking up the pace. There is no fucking way in hell I'm letting that assassin beat me to Nassana. So make every shot count," I ordered with a grin of anticipation. 

"Shepard, that is suicide!" Garrus exclaimed, looking at me with a shocked expression on his face. 

"Garrus, if I lose to that assassin, I'm holding you personally responsible," I stated coldly as I left him standing there. 

"Damn! Let's go, Mordin, something about this assassin got Tael's attention," he muttered, following behind me. 

I heard my companions’ footsteps as they neared, so I knew sneaking was out of the question. I could tell Garrus was pissed, but he would have to get over it. I wasn't going to let that assassin win. Something about my last sighting of him had piqued my curiosity. He had looked straight at my scope with a smug smile before disappearing right in front of me. I hated to admit it, but at that moment he had impressed me; now he annoyed me. 

We cleared out a few more rooms, and then hid behind some crates to catch our breath. I was about to leave, but something stopped me; setting my senses on high alert. I turned to scan behind me and stopped abruptly; the Drell was standing right behind me. I hadn't heard him jump down from the ducts or heard him move toward me. It infuriated me that he was able to get the jump on me so easily. I glared at him as he smiled again, this time giving me a salute with his gun before jumping back up into the ducts agilely. "You won't win," he taunted, his voice, deep and velvety, drifting down from the ducts.  _Damn that fucking assassin!_ I cursed angrily. 

"Shepard, are you coming?" Garrus asked, his voice in my earpiece interrupting my thoughts. 

"Yeah, I'm coming! There is no way this fucking assassin is beating me to Nassana," I bit out, glaring at the grate he disappeared into. I knew he was still there; watching, listening, and waiting, for me to make my move. 

I forced our team to race through the building, only slowing down when we came to the bridge. It would have been suicide to rush through there; they had it perfectly defended. Garrus sniped the rocket drones while Mordin and I relieved Nassana of her bodyguards. 

I didn't bother stopping in front of Nassana’s door to see if the assassin was near. I was going to win this… there was no way he would beat me. "Shepard? I thought you were dead," Nassana stated, looking shocked. 

"Obviously the rumors have been overly exaggerated," I grinned menacingly. 

"I'll pay you double whatever your employers are paying," she offered desperately. I wasn’t surprised that she automatically assumed I was here to kill her; since the last time we met I almost had. 

"No, Nassana, I'm doing this one for free; to prove a point to someone," I smirked as she gasped, backing away from her desk. 

I raised my gun to take the shot, but that _fucking_ assassin jumped down, snapping the neck of the two guards and then shooting her in the stomach before laying her tenderly over her desk. He lifted his head for a moment, meeting my gaze with intensity. "I always get what I hunt," he stated snidely.

I glared at the Drell, hating him more with each passing second. He bowed his head and began _praying_! _What the hell, an assassin praying? This was almost too much,_ I thought hatefully. 

"You know something? I hate being fucking ignored," I bit out. 

He raised his eyes to meet my own. A wealth of knowledge lay in that gaze; it was unnerving to behold. I felt like he could see right through me, straight into my thoughts and secrets. "Actually, I know nothing about you; and as such, could care less what you love or hate," he said calmly, his body relaxed as he walked leisurely toward us. I heard Garrus gasp and knew what he was thinking, without him having to say a word.

"I could make you care," I retorted, smiling cruelly.

"Yes, I'm sure you think you could," he said, his purring voice mixed with a hidden threat. His voice blew my concentration every time I heard it. It was so unusual; deep and gravelly, reminding me of the brush of soft silk against skin.      

It had been awhile since I'd been with a male and it wasn't something I was planning on doing again. Those were my younger days; well, except for the time when Garrus and I shared that Asari. That was the closest I had come to male on male contact in a long time; the last time, as well. 

"Think?" I asked bitingly. 

He turned his full focus back to me, his eyes searching as he gave a smirk. He didn't answer my question, which irked me. He turned his back to me, walking over to the windows. "Something tells me you weren't actually here for Nassana," he noted and looked over his shoulder at me with a quirk of his brow ridge. "If you had been, you would be gone by now. So that leaves only one option. You were looking for me." 

He turned to face me, his features hidden in shadow; making him seem even more mysterious, if that was possible. My breath caught and held as I regarded him. _What the fucking hell is wrong with me?_ I thought disgustedly. 

He took a step forward, his stride filled with purpose and certainty. "Well, here I am," his mouth quirked at the edges, his pose cocky. _Fuck, if this keeps up I will really need to find a wench for the night!_ I thought to myself. 

I considered denying it and leaving; I knew it would save me a world of grief if I did that. Then I wouldn't have to worry about thinking of him as a sexual object. But I needed his help against the Collectors and he had proven himself more than capable. 

"Have you ever heard of the Collectors?" I asked him, seeing his eyes widen in surprise. 

"By reputation only,” he replied.

“They are kidnapping entire human colonies, and I am going to stop them,” I stated bluntly.

“What you are suggesting is a suicide mission," he murmured thoughtfully. 

"That is what they said about Ilos," I smirked. 

"Ah, yes. You do have a reputation for doing the impossible. It's not the dying part that bothers me. You see, I'm dying already," he stated with a nonchalance that floored me. I stood there, waiting for his answer, wondering if he was going to turn me down. 

"I'll join you, at no charge," he smirked. "Maybe I will be able to do some good before leaving my body." 

"Good. We'll meet you on board the Normandy," I nodded, turning to leave. 

I was just about to walk through the doors when Garrus stopped me. "He's going to need a ride," he reminded me. 

"Fine, let's go," I nodded.

**Thane's point of view**

I followed the group out of the tower to where their transport was waiting. The Salarian glanced at the vehicle in fear, eyeing Shepard warily. His eyes flicked between Shepard and the shuttle nervously. "You are not driving. Not safe with you in control," the Salarian stated adamantly.

"Mordin, get in the vehicle or I'll throw you in there myself," Shepard stated coldly, and his statement set off warning bells inside my head. I had always been taught that the tougher a person acts, the weaker they are. I had thought this of Shepard at first, but my opinion soon changed as he made his way through the tower’s halls. 

My intuition told me to tread carefully around this human; he was what the humans termed as a ‘loose cannon’. I smirked when the Salarian moved to the back seat without arguing. I wasn't surprised in the least. It appeared that many people bowed to Shepard out of fear. 

"Are you getting in, Thane?" he asked, an annoyed look on his face. It was amusing the amount of emotions that I could detect from this human; anger, frustration, irritation, rage, and was that _desire_? That one made me pause. It had been there for a brief moment; then annoyance and disgust, either at himself or me, I wasn’t sure which, crossed his features. 

It wasn't the first time a human, male or female, had looked at me like that. It was as if they viewed us the same as Asari. From reactions, I knew people found Drell exotic, even desirable. But we weren't like Asari. We couldn’t give pleasure using our minds. We were a sensual, physical people; we proved that with the demise of our world, due to over population. 

We weren't the type to discriminate between sexes, as I'd notice some other races do, but we usually preferred the opposite sex. I couldn't be bothered with such trivialities right now, in either case. I was dying and had accepted that fact;  relationships would only confuse my mind, deterring me from the course that I had set for myself. I'd prefer to stay in my battle sleep until the seas finally claimed me. 

"When I am ready, I will board," I said calmly, waiting for another emotion to enter his eyes. He didn't disappoint. Anger burned bright in his eyes, making the cybernetics beneath his skin glow red. For a moment, I wondered what was his real eye color had been before he was changed so greatly. 

"If you want a ride, get the fuck in the shuttle!" he said harshly. I hid my smirk from him. 

I blinked slowly. "Why was the Salarian afraid to get in the shuttle?" I asked him, throwing him off his rhythm. 

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. For a moment, I wondered if he was going to threaten to throw me in the car as he had the Salarian. "Fine. You don't want to get in the vehicle, we'll leave without you," he muttered, climbing in and closing the doors. My eyes widened at the realization that he was going to leave me here. I was shocked at this turn of events. I thought about calling his bluff, but the look on his face told me such a move would not be wise. This man was not one who would bluff. 

I climbed in beside him, his companions sitting in the back. The Turian had his eyes closed, gripping the back of Shepard’s seat. The Salarian's eyes glassed over as Shepard started the vehicle.  I sat back and relaxed as he grinned at me maliciously. Dread trickled down my spine. "Remember this, Thane; never challenge me!" he spat. The shuttle took off, throwing me back against my seat. If he thought I was going to be scared this easily, he needed to learn a few new lessons. I was more than willing to teach him. 

I started relaxing once more and met his smirk with one of my own, not backing down from his challenge. He raised a brow, his smirk growing to a grin as he descended into oncoming traffic. He did a nose dive toward the traffic, the shuttle threatening to stall. Fear and foreboding slithered down my spine as he drove through the oncoming traffic. I could see him watching me out of the corner of his eye, looking smug. "What's wrong, Thane, scared?" He mocked with another challenging grin. 

"No, why? Should I be?" I asked calmly, gazing at him emotionlessly. The grin left his face, quickly replaced with a scowl. I turned toward the window, smirking. So easily riled, this human was; there was no serenity in him. I wondered if it would be possible to teach him to be calm. He would need it for the missions to come; it would be beneficial to him, and the people he had recruited. He seemed to allow his emotions to get the better of him, when he should remain tranquil. It was something I would need to meditate on. 

We landed with a thud that jarred my back. "If you have stuff to pick up, I would suggest you do it now. You're coming on the next mission," he ordered, walking over to the Normandy without a backward glance. I watched him for a few minutes, and then headed to my motel room for the supplies I had left there. I didn’t own much. With an assassin's life, you learn to live on the bare necessities; tools of my trade and clothes. Food could be obtained anywhere. 

I walked back to the docking bay, amazed at how quickly things had changed. I had been prepared to die in those towers, yet I still lived. Now I was following a hot-headed human to a place that we would probably die. I wondered if I would die before we saw the planned end of the mission. That thought didn't bother me, though I was concerned about finishing the job for which I had been recruited. I always completed the jobs I was given. 

I stood in front of a view screen. "Request permission to board," I stated. 

"Who are you?" a male voice asked. 

"Thane Krios," I muttered and wondered if the video on this probe was working. 

"Do you have proof?" the voice asked mockingly. 

"Joker, quit being an ass and let him on board," I heard Shepard say light-heartedly. That surprised me. I didn't think he was capable of that tone. 

"Hey, we should make sure it’s him," the man named Joker complained. 

"Trust me, I would know that annoying voice anywhere," Shepard grumbled, but there was still pleasure in his tone. I smirked mildly, amused at his description. I had been expecting harsher treatment from him. 

The doors opened, allowing me to be sterilized. The bridge was large, high tech terminals spanning the sides. A female stood in the center of it all, ready to greet me. She had a large smile that spoke of innocence and it made me wonder how she came to be under Shepard's command. "Thane Krios?" she asked politely, and I gave a slight bow as was customary with Drell greetings. "I'm to show you to the conference room where the Commander is waiting," she said, and there was a bite to her words as she used Shepard’s title. 

I followed her through a lab where the Salarian was working. He glanced up, giving me a brief nod before speaking. "When you are settled, need to do tests on you for safety of ship," he said rapidly before turning back to his work. I returned my focus to the female before me. 

"That is Professor Solis. He is the one finding ways to defeat the Collectors," she explained, leading me toward another set of doors. "The Commander is in there," she muttered and left before I could ask anything else. 

A dark skinned human and Shepard stood inside, having a mild disagreement that was interrupted by my entrance. Shepard turned to face me; his scars and eyes glowed bright red, and anger contorted his face. "Krios, when you're ready, you can meet me at the airlock," Shepard stated. 

"Shepard, I don't think you should trust an assassin at your back! Once the payment runs out, what's to say he won't turn on you?" the dark colored man bit out. 

"Jacob, if I wanted your opinion I would have asked you!" Shepard snapped coldly. "And if we are talking about loyalty, I would trust him long before I would trust a Cerberus operative at my back.” 

"He's a paid assassin! That’s nothing more than a high priced mercenary!" he spat. 

"I have taken this mission without charge," I said calmly as his anger rose. 

Jacob was about to say something else, but Shepard cut in. "Dismissed!" he announced, his voice slicing through the room, cracking like a whip. This was someone who was used to giving commands and having them followed to the letter. Jacob scowled at the both of us before storming out of the room. 

"Where should I place my possessions? Somewhere dry would be preferable," I requested. 

"Life Support is the driest place on the Normandy," an electronic voice answered. 

"An AI?" I asked. 

"I'm EDI," she said. 

"My thanks, then," I answered her, bowing at the holographic image. 

"I'll show you the way," Shepard muttered, motioning me to follow him. "We'll leave in an hour. That should give you plenty of time to get ready.” 

"I'll be ready and meet you at the airlock," I nodded, curious that there was no challenge in his voice this time. He was actually being cordial. 

"When we return from retrieving the Justicar, you can wander where you wish on the ship, other than the fourth floor. That area is off limits to all but a select few," he shrugged. I assumed that was where his private quarters lay. "Garrus will be meeting us at the airlocks, as well. He's the Turian you met earlier." I didn't ask any questions or comment on anything as he opened the locks on the Life Support doors. Without a word, he left me alone to my thoughts.

                                                                                ~ooooo~

**Shepard’s point of view**

I flopped back onto my bed with a weary sigh. Getting that damned Justicar had been exhausting. I should have waited until the next day before heading back onto the planet.  I had to admit that the Drell was better than I had expected. He was a dead shot, that was for sure. I wondered what he was like at hand to hand, without the element of surprise.

I shifted on the bed, not able to relax. My stomach reminded me that I forgotten something important. With an annoyed sigh, I made my way to the Mess Hall. Gardener met me with a plate of food and a smile. 

"Trying something new, Commander," he announced. I fought off the urge to cringe. 

"Yeah, thanks," I muttered, taking a seat at one of the empty tables. I glanced up at movement nearby. Thane stood at the table with a plate of food of his own. 

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked, his constant politeness setting my teeth on edge. 

"Go for it," I answered, turning back to my food. He must be as worn out as Garrus and I. 

"I've met a few of the crew members, but you said that you were collecting people for this mission. How many do you have so far?" he asked before taking a bite of food. 

"There's Jack, who hides out below engineering. Grunt is in one of the cargo bays, Zaeed is in the other. Samara, who you've already met, is in one of the observation rooms. Garrus is in the Main Battery and finally, there is our scientist, Mordin," I shrugged, too tired to be annoyed at the moment. 

"How many more do you need to recruit?" he asked, watching me intently. 

"Tali, and Kasumi, but we still won’t be ready to go after the Collectors. I want this ship and crew ready so there is a chance we can make it back alive," I stated adamantly. 

"That sounds reasonable," he shrugged. This politeness was getting on my nerves. I didn’t need or want this right now. I was about to excuse myself, but was saved by a familiar voice.  

"Hey, Shepard, Miranda said that since you're such an ass, you can start pulling your own weight with the paper work. She told me to pass you this," Garrus grinned as he handed me a datapad. 

"And what is _she_ going to be doing while I do her dirty work?" I scowled, looking over the datapad. 

"Probably sitting back and relaxing," he laughed. "I know I would be."

"I don't fucking think so!" I snarled, storming over to her door. I didn't have far to go, since it was located on the far side of the Mess Hall. A red light shone on the door, letting me know it was locked. "EDI, unlock this door now!" I commanded. 

"I'm sorry, Shepard, but I can't; these are Miss Lawson's personal quarters and I cannot override the locks," EDI said. I could have sworn I detected amusement in her voice. I counted silently to ten before I did something stupid. 

"Tell Miranda I want to see her now!" I ordered. Silence met me while I waited for the doors to open. 

"Miss Lawson said she doesn't wish to be disturbed right now," EDI stated before blipping out. 

"Fine! EDI, under my orders, she is confined to her quarters until I state otherwise," I snapped, glaring at the door. 

"Understood, Commander. I will notify Miss Lawson and have her door locked so she doesn't attempt to leave," she said before vanishing once more. 

I stormed from her door back to my table, where my food waited for me. "So, is she still alive?" Garrus joked. 

"Yes, she is. Though I don't know how much longer she will be on this ship," I muttered, fatigue laying heavily on me. 

Thane looked at me curiously as I ate. I didn't bother answering the question in his eyes; I already had enough of his politeness. Garrus smirked and turned to Thane. "Shepard and Miranda don't get along, although I don't blame him in the least. She imagines herself to be perfect. So Shepard isn't allowing her on any more missions," he explained. 

"Plus, she is a danger to anyone on a mission," I bit out. 

"So, are we getting Tali?" he asked, changing the subject. I was grateful for the switch in topics; the thought of that woman had pissed me off enough. 

"Yep, then we'll do some other missions that people have asked us to do. I also want to check out some of the areas that we've found while mining for minerals," I sighed, leaning back in my chair now that I had finished eating. "I'm heading off to bed. Garrus, have Gardener send food to Miranda's door for every meal," I ordered, leaving the two aliens alone at the table. 

**Thane's point of view**

I turned to Garrus as he watched Shepard leave. "He seemed pleasant this time," I commented. 

"Yeah, he was too tired to care. Though I wouldn't be so polite around him. He hates it with a passion," Garrus grinned. I looked at him thoughtfully and wondered how he knew this human so well. He seemed fond of Shepard, which seemed odd to me. Shepard was cold and distant, leaning toward cruel; so, how could this Turian possibly respect him? 

"Hey, Garrus, can you talk Tael into allowing shore leave?" Joker asked over the comm. 

"Why don't you ask him?" Garrus countered. 

"Yeah, right," Joker scoffed. 

"I'll see what I can do, Joker," Garrus muttered and then groaned when he saw all the hopeful gazes of the crew members dining around us. "Oh man, Shepard is going to kill me," he said mournfully. His eyes snapped toward me, a calculating look in his gaze. 

I narrowed my eyes warily. "Follow me. You'll be my backup when I disturb Tael's sleep," he said, his mandibles twitching. I think it may have been a smile. 

"Why would you need backup?" I asked cautiously. 

"All you have to do is get what's left of my body back to the doctor. Hopefully, they can resurrect me," he grumbled as we both entered the elevator, headed to the fourth floor. 

The elevator doors opened, and we crossed the hall to his bedroom door. As we entered the suite, we found Shepard lying face down on the bed, his clothes still on. He looked exhausted, though the cold air he exuded still drifted about him. Garrus moved toward the bed hesitantly, not sure of the reception he would receive. 

"Garrus, you better have a good fucking reason to come in here!" Shepard slurred out, his threat losing some of its potency in the process. 

"The crew wants shore leave," Garrus stated, not backing down from the threat. 

"And you couldn't wait until I was awake for this? And you brought Thane as your backup?" he smirked, eyeing the both of us. 

"No, the crew wants shore leave and I thought it would be best to get you when you're this tired. Safer for me, anyway," Garrus grinned. 

"Well, it took them longer than I thought it would," Shepard groaned. "Tell Joker to head to Omega. We'll have shore leave there," he ordered. 

"What about the Citadel? That would be a better place," Garrus muttered. My body tensed as Shepard slowly sat up, his eyes blazing bright red, every scar on his face glowing ominously. Garrus took a few steps back from him. Shepard rose to his feet with a feral grin as he reached under his pillow for a gun, pointing it at Garrus' head.

"Omega or here, those are the choices. We aren't going to the Citadel!" he growled, his gun unwavering. 

I decided to cut in. "You sound like you're afraid of going to the Citadel," I commented mildly, not flinching when he pointed the gun at my head from across the room. I walked further into the room, as though he didn't have a gun pointed at me. I gazed at the empty model case, showing him that he was no concern to me. I heard Garrus let out a hiss of breath. 

I flicked a glance at Shepard. His hand was still, but the rest of him vibrated with pent up rage. "Thane, I wouldn't go there if I were you," Garrus muttered, giving me a warning look. 

"I'm not afraid of the place, but it's one promise to myself that I plan on keeping. I will not return there!" he bit out each word, his voice straining as he contained his rage. I stared at him, wondering what he was hiding that he would make a promise like that.   

"Tael, you can't avoid that place forever," Garrus muttered. 

"Tell Joker to set course for Omega, and have a message sent to Aria, notifying her that the Normandy is going to be docking there for three days. Now, the both of you get the fuck out of my room," he ordered coldly. 

We left his cabin without another word. Garrus’ posture was hunched as he stood on the far side of the elevator, avoiding my eyes. He looked like Shepard had beaten him and he wasn't taking it well. Without a word he left the elevator, heading for the Main Battery. I remained inside, heading back to Shepard's room. 

EDI didn't even ask for permission as I walked back into his room. He wasn’t in bed, nor was he in the sitting area. I could hear the sounds of running water coming from the bathroom. I moved silently to the shadows, blending in with them. _I guess now was the time to teach this human his first lesson in respect,_ I thought to myself. 

He left the bathroom, wearing only pants. My eyes widened as I gazed at his chest and stomach. They were covered in scars; some ragged, others only faint lines. There were a few that were large, as if claws had tried to rip through him and almost succeeded.  "What are you doing here, Thane?" he asked coldly, staring straight at me. I was shocked for a moment, hiding it perfectly before answering. 

I wasn't sure what to say. I always had the element of surprise on my side. Rarely was I confronted; but when I was, I dealt with the threat quickly, lethally - never with words. He stood there, waiting for an answer; the gun still in his hands, hanging down by his hip.

"To find out why you reek of fear when the Citadel is mentioned," I fabricated. I didn’t want to give my real reason yet. I couldn't show him the error of his ways, or erase the look on Garrus’ face in the elevator. 

He moved quickly, pinning me against the aquarium. I allowed it, wanting to see what he would do. He started raising his gun and my instincts kicked in. I twisted, breaking his grip and reversing our positions. I pressed his head hard against the glass with my arm, while my other hand pinned one of his arms behind his back at an odd angle, close to snapping it. His gun was tucked into my pants, where he would never be able to get it. 

"Let me go!" he bit out harshly. 

"I don’t think so," I murmured, listening to his breathing pick up speed. His pulse had already increased; I could feel it pounding beneath my thumb, which I used to ensure that he remained safe. "Not until you calm down and think rationally." 

He struggled futilely against my grip. "You won't be able to get away. Drells are stronger than humans; faster, too," I smirked. He growled, kicking backwards. I was able to avoid his attack easily. I moved closer to him, not giving him another chance to make contact. 

"What the fuck do you want?" he hissed as I shifted my weight. I heard a muffled noise that caught me off guard for a moment. 

"For you to treat the people who look up to you better!" I hissed, trying to keep my anger in check. My mind flashed back to the look on Garrus' face and I quickly stopped before it went too far.

"Fuc-" he began, but I cut off his words with more pressure on the back of his neck. He hissed out in pain, struggling in earnest. I held him easily until he stopped moving. Without feeling him move, he rammed his head back into my chin. It hurt enough that I grunted out in pain. My grip on his arm tightened, twisting it further until it felt like it was about to break. 

"What was that?" I asked coldly, for the first time showing him my anger. 

"Nothing," his muttered, his voice muffled. I slowly let him go, ready for the retaliation that never came. He moved his shoulder, flexing it a few times; keeping his gaze on me at all times. "You do realize I could have you spaced?" he asked with an evil grin. 

"You could, but you won't," I said confidently as I turned to walk to the elevator. He stopped me just before the doors closed. 

"Krios, sleep lightly," he said, his voice filled with a deadly warning that I understood completely. 

"I always do Shepard; as should you," I nodded, accepting the unspoken words. We were enemies now. There was no other way between us; not until he changed or I left the ship, and I had no intention of doing that.  


	6. Chapter 6

Omega - a place I could relax and feel at home. The attraction I enjoyed the most was the girls; at the moment, it was the one standing in front of me. This young Asari was already paid for and I was ready to use her well into the night; the same as the other females I had acquired over the past two days. This was my last night at the station and I was determined not to stop until I regained control of my emotions and got my head back on straight. Hopefully three nights of delightful Asari would do it; if it didn’t, then I was fucked.   It was pathetic that I was getting off because that fucking Drell had me pressed against the fish tank with his athletic body so close to mine.

The Asari lay panting, recovering from the first round. Teeth marks bruised the skin on her shoulder; bruises were starting to form on her hips where I had gripped her while I drove into her mercilessly. She looked well used and I wasn't through with her yet. I could still remember my reaction to the Drell. I wasn't stopping until he was completely out of my mind or I was dead, whichever came first.

The night waned on and the Asari left, yet my mind was still on the fucking Drell. With a sigh I left the room, heading out into the bar. Garrus and Thane sat at a table, talking quietly. I tried to move by without being seen, but Garrus had obviously been keeping an eye out for me. 

"Tael, you joining us for a drink?" Garrus called out. I sighed, knowing that I had no choice; he would never forgive me if I kept walking, though the last thing I needed was more time with the assassin.

"So, did you let Miranda off the ship, too?" he asked with a grin. 

"Yes, she is around here somewhere or still on the ship. I released her confinement when I granted shore leave," I shrugged. 

I watched an Asari waitress place a drink in front of me with a grin. "Need anything else?" she asked, sidling up next to me.

"Nothing right now," I muttered absently, barely paying attention to her. 

"Turning down a girl, Shepard? I never thought I would live to see the day," Garrus chuckled. I glanced at Thane; he was listening intently to our conversation. 

I took a sip of my Jack Daniels, feeling it burn all the way down. I sat with my back to the wall, keeping watch over the rest of the bar. The other crewmen were behaving, much to my amazement. I was shocked that Grunt wasn't causing problems; a drunken Krogan seemed like a fight just waiting to happen. 

I glanced at my empty glass and thought about ordering another, but I couldn't be bothered; not with that Drell’s eyes on me. "Garrus, did you buy the necessary supplies for the cargo bay?" I asked him. 

"Yes, three crew members were putting it together before they left the ship. It should be ready by now," he grinned. I knew he was looking forward to testing the equipment out in our new sparring room. 

"Fine, I'm heading back to the ship," I said, nodding to Garrus and ignoring Thane as I left.

"You sure you don't want to stay, Tael?" Garrus called after me. I hesitated for a moment, knowing that he wanted me there. I just couldn't, however; not with _him_ sitting there, watching my every move. 

"Sorry, Garrus, not this time," I answered, ignoring the disappointment that entered his eyes. 

                                                                                ~ooooo~

I spent hours in that practice room, working myself until my muscles screamed for surrender.  The doors opened behind me and I groaned in frustration as Thane walked in. "What the fuck do you want?" I asked belligerently. 

"Nothing. I came to see the training room," he answered absently. 

"Well you saw it, now leave," I stated coldly as I grabbed a towel, wiping the sweat off my face.

He walked further into the room, keeping an intent watch on me. It was eerie how focused he was, but I didn't blame him. He and I weren't on the best of terms. "Do you wish to spar?" he asked casually. 

"No, not this time," I muttered, hating that I had to turn him down, but I would never stand a chance against him right now; not after the rigorous torture I had just put my body through. I left the room so he could practice on his own, but that didn't work, either. The bastard followed me out. _If this keeps up I'm spacing him, with great pleasure,_ I thought with a malicious grin. 

I didn't bother acknowledging him as we entered the elevator. The doors closed behind us and I leaned back against the wall, keeping an eye on him. I glared at him as he hit the panel, stopping the elevator. "Thane, I'm not in the mood to talk to you," I growled. 

The ridge of his brow rose and a small smirk curved his mouth. "Why didn't you stay with Garrus?" he asked curiously. 

"Because you were there. I can only stand your presence for so long," I answered bitingly with a cruel smile. I knew I was being juvenile, but he was the reason that I had put my body through the grueling pace in the training room.

He chuckled, giving a small shake of his head; his eyes alight with amusement as he pressed the button for the elevator to continue. The Mess Hall was filled as dinner was being served. Garrus was sitting alone at one table, so I decided to join him. "So, are we getting Tali now?" he asked, a hopeful look on his face.

"Yeah, then we have other missions to do. I'm not going after the IFF until this ship and crew are ready. Right now it's too dangerous; this will be worse than when we were going against Saren," I muttered. 

"Don't worry, Shepard, we'll be ready," he grinned. I hoped he was right. I really didn't want to die again; once was enough for me. 

"Ah, Shepard, there you are. You are hard to find. Need to speak with you; Thane as well," he nodded toward the Drell, who took a seat next to Garrus. 

"Sure," I sighed, looking at my food forlornly as we both followed him to the lab. "What is it?" I asked. 

"Medical information you need to know about Thane. Very important for his continued health. Found out you never asked; you need to be informed," Mordin said in his rapid fire way. I leaned back against one of the gurneys, my arms crossed as I glanced at Thane. He looked extremely annoyed and I didn't blame him, but this was too important. If his life was at stake, other than in a firefight, then I needed to know every detail. 

"Shepard, when we met I told you I was dying," he said calmly, as if he was talking about the weather. 

"What are you dying from?" I asked. He didn't look like a dying man; he actually looked very healthy, too healthy, if you ask me. 

"Kepral’s Syndrome, a disease my people get from living in humid places. Our lungs can't process moisture," he explained. 

"How much time do you have?" I asked sharply. I wasn't sure why it should even matter to me; it wasn't as if  he couldn't die on this mission just as easily. 

He stared at me curiously for a moment. "Six months to a year. The more time I'm spend in humid places, the less time I have," he murmured quietly. Mordin shook his head at the passiveness in Thane’s voice on this matter. 

"Is there anything else I should know about?" I asked them both. 

"Missions in humid climates Thane should avoid. Conditions on ship where Thane most frequents should be adjusted for his comfort," Mordin replied thoughtfully. "Thane should come to lab for monitoring, but he insists it is not necessary," he added, looking accusingly at the assassin. 

"You heard him, Thane. Twice a week you are to report here to be checked. I want weekly reports on his condition," I ordered Mordin. Thane’s shocked expression passed so quickly that I almost missed it. I smirked, amused that I was able to gain an edge over the unflappable Drell. 

"I'll be on CIC if I'm needed," I stated, leaving the lab. 

I knew he followed me out of the lab, as I could smell his herbal scent behind me. "Why?" Thane demanded quietly, so we didn't attract the attention of others. 

"The people on this ship are my responsibility; that includes their health and wellbeing, no matter how much I don't like it," I snapped. "Since you're one of the crew, even though I hate you, I need to look out for your health." 

"Shepard, thank you," he bowed before walking away. I glared at his retreating back. _He better not think we're friends now…._

                                                                                ~ooooo~

I lay on my bed after hours of mining and good ol' paper work that I couldn't ignore, no matter how much I wanted to. My eyes were burning and my head was throbbing. "EDI, make sure I'm not disturbed for the next few hours," I muttered. 

"Understood, Shepard," she answered.

My eyes drifted close and sleep claimed my body; my mind finally winding down as the headache subsided. 

_Soft, blue hands roamed over my body. Rough, scaled hands ran up her back, his claws digging into her as he thrust savagely. I watched as he grunted in pleasure with each thrust, his release coming quickly as his nails bit into her skin. She gave a muffled moan with each thrust, her moist mouth gliding over my straining flesh in time to Garrus' movements. My release was coming; I could feel it building, my muscles tightening in preparation as I came closer to exploding. Garrus roared, driving hard into her; bending over her, his teeth gripping into her shoulder as he came. She sucked hard on me and I came with a shout._

I awoke gasping, remembering every detail of the experience perfectly. The dream had only been the beginning of that night. I panted heavily; sweat beading my chest, my hair damp and a mess on the sheets from my release. I sighed, getting out of bed and stripping the sheets; replacing them with a clean set. I tossed the soiled ones down the chute to be washed and climbed back into bed, hoping there wasn't going to any more of those dreams. I didn't think I had another clean set of sheets left in the room. 

I drifted off again, letting sleep claim me. 

_Dark, piercing eyes stared into mine, a hard lean body pressed up against my back as I was pinned against the fish tank. His warm breath fanned my ear as I struggled uselessly. My movements created more friction between us as he pressed against me harder, stilling my movements with his weight. I felt his hardness against my back, ready to be used, wanting to be released from its confines._

_Green, strong hands glided along my body, memorizing me with each touch, bringing moans of pleasure. Soft, yielding lips travelled across my neck, teeth lightly nipping. I tried to turn, but his hands stopped me; forcing me against the cold glass of the tank, making me gasp. His one hand held me in place as the other skimmed lightly over my stomach; moving lower slowly until he gently brushed against the throbbing bulge in my pants._

_My breaths were ragged as he moved his hand once more, putting more pressure against my erection. I groaned, bucking against his hand as he grinded himself against my back. The pleasure was too intense, too much to bear. My head fell back, resting against his shoulder; my neck muscles straining as I fought for control over my body. I felt his rasping breath against my neck, teeth scraping then gently settling on my skin, slowly applying pressure as my pleasure mounted. I knew I would soon lose control if he continued his torture._

_His hand left my body and the feel of him against my back vanished…._

I cried out as I awoke once again; my body throbbing with need, so close to finding its release. I groaned in frustration as images of the dream came to me, causing my member to pulse painfully. _Damn that fucking Drell! Now he was invading my dreams!_ I growled low in my throat, grabbing the nearest thing and hurling it across the room, listening to it shatter into pieces. 

I stormed into the washroom, heading straight to the shower; the hot water increasing the pleasure in my sexually heightened skin. I groaned, cupping myself in my hand; finishing what that dream had started. When the orgasm came my legs buckled as I slid down the stall, gasping. My member still leaked, standing at half attention. I sighed, relieved that I had found release after that dream. 

I walked out of the washroom, not bothering to grab a towel on the way. I glanced at the fish tank and was instantly hard again. _That Drell was dead!_ One of these times I was going to get the drop on him and kill him…very slowly.

                                                                                ~oooo~

I walked into the Mess Hall after the horrid night of sleep, that last fucking dream haunting me. Why the Drell, of all people? I could understand the first dream with Garrus. That was one of my better memories, but the Drell? That didn’t make sense. 

Gardener placed my plate in front of me and left without a word. I looked at the slop and wondered if it was actually edible or if the cook genuinely wanted to kill me. I glanced up when movement caught my attention. Garrus took a seat across from me. "Man, Shepard, you look like hell," he muttered, but I could hear the laughter in his tone. 

"Gee, thanks," I grumbled, looking at him thoughtfully. 

"What…?" he asked nervously. 

"Feel like sparring?" I asked with a grin. 

"You're on! I'll meet you down there in a few minutes," he grinned. 

"It'll be a bit later than that. I want to eat first," I smirked as his face fell. I looked at the plate in front of me and swallowed convulsively, knowing I would never be able keep it down. "Forget it, let's go," I ordered.

I made sure to walk past Gardener, staring at him coldly as he fidgeted. "Gardener, I would suggest you learn how to cook and quickly or you're going to find yourself off this ship!" I snapped lethally. "Last warning." Without another glance, I stalked out of the room, anxious to start the match. 

Garrus was in the cargo hold waiting for me. He was dressed in civilian clothes, which thrilled me. I would hate to have to fight him while he was in his armor. "Are you ready?" he asked in anticipation.

"Any time you are," I smirked, walking toward him. He automatically dropped into a crouch, his hands hanging at his side. I waited for him to make the first move because his reach was longer than mine, giving him the advantage. I knew I had to watch those claws of his; even with gloves, they were still dangerous. 

He feigned one way, trying to trick me, but his footing gave him away. I went the same direction, kicking out; hitting him in the stomach and forcing him back a couple of steps. He hissed, swinging out quickly and catching me on the side of the head. I rolled with the hit, so it didn't stun me as much as it could have. 

I ducked and dodged all the hits coming toward me, but he wasn't giving me a chance to retaliate. I hissed as another kick hit me, sending me to the mat. "Hey, Shepard, I thought you were supposed to be hot shit when it came to fighting," Jack taunted. 

"When the fuck did you get here?" I snapped, aggravated that someone had witnessed me losing, when I was holding myself back so I didn't hurt Garrus. 

"Long enough to see you get your ass kicked," she laughed. "So, you're not tough shit, after all."

"Shut the fuck up, Jack!" I growled, ignoring the Turian in front of me. 

"Tael, don't do anything stupid," Garrus warned, placing his hand on my arm to stop me from moving forward. 

"Garrus, let go of my arm!" I ordered, biting out each word.

"Just don't kill her," he said quietly. 

"Ha, like fuck he can kill me," she scoffed, looking at us with a bored expression on her face. "I don't need your protection, Turian. I can take him easily enough."

"Jack, get the fuck out of here," I ordered.

"Or what? You'll kick my ass? I'd like to see you try," she smirked. This was going to be a first for me, hitting a female out of anger when they weren’t an enemy. _Damn that fucking bitch!_ I thought, glaring at her, waiting for her to make the first move. She moved quickly, but not quick enough. She swung out and I caught her fist in mine, and then twisted her arm behind her back, pushing it to the breaking point. 

"Don't start something you can't finish, Jack," I hissed in her ear, kicking her brutally behind the knees. She dropped to the ground with a grunt. I saw the intent in her eyes before she even attempted her next move. "Bite me and I'll take that as foreplay," I grinned. 

"Fuck you!" she growled, striking out, catching me solidly on the cheek. I could feel the skin split beneath her knuckles. I ignored the pain and the doors opening behind me. 

"Thane, don't interfere. She started it, and he hasn't hit her yet," I heard Garrus state. _Damn! The Drell was here. Just what I fucking needed._

Jack kicked out, but I blocked it before she could do any real damage. "Now, Jack, fuck off," I snarled in her face, slowly letting her go. She gave me an evil grin before letting her biotics flare to life. I followed with my own. We faced each other, powers glowing brightly. I knew my scars were glowing red, along with my eyes. It was usual now, anytime I lost my temper. "Don't, Jack, you'll lose," I warned her coolly.

"Jack, I would listen to him. He's been holding back with me," Garrus warned. I waited to see what she would do, but movement out of the corner of my eye distracted me. I glanced at Thane, who had moved closer, along with Grunt, Kelly, Samara and quite a few others. Jack took the opportunity while I was distracted and kicked me in the gut. 

"You're pushing it, Jack," I hissed, blocking the fist that came toward my face. I wasn't sure what the fuck to do. I may be an ass, or so I've been told on many occasions, but hitting a woman? That was something I never did unless they were trying to kill me. Jack wasn't trying to kill me, but she was pissing me the fuck off.

**Garrus' point of view**

I watched Tael block all of Jack's punches and kicks. I wondered how long it would take him to hit her back. "So, why isn't he retaliating?" Samara asked tiredly. People were becoming bored with the fight and would leave soon, even though money had begun changing hands. 

"He won't hit a female. It’s one of his rules, unless said female is trying to kill him," I muttered and heard groans of disappointment from behind me. 

"Last warning, Jack," he snarled, his voice turning vicious as he stood his ground and blocked most of her hits easily. I was shocked when she didn't back down. She gave him a round house that connected solidly to the side of his skull. He collapsed to one knee, shaking his head. I knew that was a fatal mistake on her part; I just hoped I didn’t have to intervene. 

"Fine, all bets are off," he smirked, striking out quickly and landing three punches to her stomach before she had a chance to defend herself. Before she straightened, he snapped his leg out, connecting with her side. I could see she was ready to give up. She had finally realized that Tael was too much for her. "What's wrong, Jack, not good enough?" he spat, moving out of the way of one of her kicks. He caught her leg, kicking her other out from under her. He was about to end the fight with a final punch, which wasn't needed now; she was in pain and it was plain to see. Thane moved up quickly, catching his fist before it descended. 

"Enough!" Thane snapped coldly, taking Tael’s focus off of Jack. I knew she would lose without the use of her biotics, but if she had been allowed to use them, it would have been an interesting fight. 

I heard more money exchange hands. The crew had decided that Tael was going to kick Thane's ass. I wasn't sure about that. I'd watched him move and Thane knew what he was doing. His body had been honed as a weapon and he knew how to use that body to its full potential. 

"You offering to take her place, assassin? If not, then get the fuck off the mat!" he ordered cruelly. 

Thane took up a fighting stance, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. He watched Tael's every move, matching it with a shift of his body. Tael was the first to strike. Thane caught his arm, using Tael’s own momentum against him; kicking him in the stomach before tossing him to the ground with ease. Tael rolled to his feet with a smirk. 

Tael moved with catlike grace; the same way I remembered him fighting on the original Normandy. They both moved quickly; punches were thrown and kicks deflected. It was like a dance between the two of them. Their legs and fists were moving too fast for me to follow. I wasn't sure who was winning or losing; they both sported cuts and bruises that were growing in number. The scars on Tael's face were glowing red; his once deep brown eyes shining a bright scarlet color. 

Thane jumped into the air, landing a kick to the underside of Tael's chin. The Commander fell back, groaning. I expected Thane to push his advantage, though I knew the fight wasn’t won. The assassin had only pissed Tael off. Just as I suspected, Tael kicked out, taking the assassin's legs from under him so that they were both on the mat. Immediately, it turned into a wrestling match. 

I watched them grapple and noticed that they were evenly matched this way. I was amused to see them finally venting some of their frustration. I hoped Tael would use this outlet to become more civil toward Thane, but in the back of my mind, I knew the odds of that were slim.

My eyes widened when I noticed that their movements had changed; their wrestling had become something more personal and intimate. I wasn't sure if the others noticed it or not. I observed Samara's curious stare and knew she saw the situation the same as I did.. 

Tael lay on his back, panting and staring up at Thane. His shoulders were pinned to the ground; his burning bright eyes were the deep brown that I remembered. His glowing scars were barely noticeable at the moment. The assassin’s hold on him was different; it wasn't an actual pin, but no one seemed to care. In their eyes, Thane had won this bout. The crew slowly filed out, leaving me alone with the combatants. I didn't want to leave, just in case Tael lost his temper because of the turn of events. He had hated Thane for a while now, so this change wasn’t going to sit well with him at all. 

Thane slowly rose to his feet, holding out a hand for Tael to grab. He pulled the Commander from the floor, his hand lingering longer than necessary. Their eyes never left each other and Tael looked like a drowning man. It was a look I remembered well. For his own good, Thane had better learn that Tael doesn't do relationships. He fucks you and leaves you.  Though this time, I wasn't a hundred percent sure of the outcome. I had never seen that look on his face and I wondered if he even realized that his emotions were as clear to see as the assassin’s. Did they even know there was something between them? 

Well, in my mind, this mission had just become a lot more interesting. I wondered if Thane was going to live through the full trip, once Tael figured out that he had feelings for him. It will be interesting to see.       

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Thane, you asked to see me?" I asked, scowling at the Drell. The past few days had been hell. I'd sparred with him on multiple occasions and had my ass handed to me on a silver platter every time. So far I was the only one giving him any competition; he had beaten everyone else quickly. 

"Yes, I did," he smirked. "I would request that I join you on this mission."

"No," I said coldly, turning to leave. 

"You asked for my services, yet you won't take me on missions. I'm curious, are you worried that I will continue your lessons during a mission?" he asked with a hint of a smirk. _Damn! This fucking Drell loved pushing my buttons for a reaction._

"No, but I don't trust you at my back. What’s to stop you from putting a bullet in my head during a mission?" I asked snidely. "Until I can trust you, you won't go on any missions. If you don't like it, tell me now and I'll drop you off at the nearest starbase after we are finished with this planet." I nodded, leaving him there to renew his godforsaken meditations. 

I had never known an assassin to meditate so much; that was all he did when he wasn't talking with Garrus. I didn't understand it, nor did I understand how he could be so calm and in control all the time. Something would happen to piss me off and he would be standing there, smiling smugly at my loss of control.

The current mission was a favor for Jacob. It seemed his father might be alive. We were going to Aeia to find out why a distress signal from ten years ago had suddenly been activated. I had Garrus and Jacob coming with me. I knew I could trust the both of them at my back. Actually, I could trust most of the crew, some more than others; all except for the Drell.

"Shepard, are you ready?" Jacob asked as he came out of the Armory. 

"In a minute. I'll meet you at the shuttle. I need to get my armor on," I answered, heading for the Armory. I changed quickly, checking the condition of my guns before placing them on my back. "EDI, have Garrus meet me at the shuttle," I ordered as I left, heading for the docking bay. 

Aeia wasn't what I expected; the ship lay broken, but the messages left by the crew were just ‘wrong’ somehow. My stomach turned at what I heard. Acting Captain Taylor was using the woman as his own personal harem, giving them rotten food to eat so they would be more malleable. 

"Jacob, I hope you realize that your father is a dead man?" I asked calmly, flinching when I realized that I sounded like Thane at the moment. 

"Shepard, you look like you just swallowed a nasty bug," Garrus smirked. 

"Don't worry about it," I grumbled, scowling at him. We followed a path leading to a small settlement; the only inhabitants women. "You know, if these women were in their right minds, this would be the perfect place to take live," I chuckled. 

"If they were in their right minds, they would probably cut off your balls and feed them to you," Jacob stated coldly, not in a joking mood. 

"Very true. Your father has a lot to answer for. I would like to see how he is going to explain this away," I scowled as we moved forward, through the inhabitants. 

"Yeah, there is no excuse for this," Jacob hissed as we stopped before a monument in the center of the village. I looked at it disgustedly. 

"Okay, that’s enough of the sightseeing. We have to find your asshole of a father," I bit out as we made our way to a fortified area, blocking a secured door.  Men swarmed the area, and a Mech moved toward us. "Garrus and Jacob, you two handle the soldiers and I'll take out the Mech," I ordered, drawing the machine away from the others. 

"Shepard, we're clear!" Jacob yelled. 

"Good, then you can give me a hand with this thing," I muttered, pinned down behind some crates, waiting for my shields to recharge. 

Within moments we had finished off the Mech, and Jacob approached the door, behind which we assumed his father waited. I let him lead; this was something he needed to do. I actually felt bad for him and what he was about to go through. I knew what it was like to have family, but I had never had a family member do anything remotely similar to this. My sister would have been utterly disgusted, my mother would have just left and my father would have kept his peace. 

I listened as they talked, and movement behind me caught my attention. "Garrus, keep watch," I ordered softly so I didn't interrupt the reunion. 

I moved forward, giving Jacob my support if he wanted it. "I'm done here, Shepard," he muttered, looking at his father in revulsion. 

"What do you want done with him?" I asked cautiously. 

"I don't care. As far as I am concerned, my father died years ago," he scowled at the man. 

"That can be easily remedied," I smirked. Jacob returned the smirk and passed his father his gun with one bullet in the chamber.  We walked away, the sound of a gunshot echoing behind us. It was over and now Jacob could turn his full attention to the mission. 

We boarded the ship, Garrus walking beside me as Jacob left to the Armory. "So, are we going to the Citadel to get our final recruit?" he asked as we walked into the Mess Hall. 

I stopped where I was and hissed. "Fine, have Joker set course for the Citadel after the next mission," I scowled, storming off.     

**Thane's point of view**

I watched him walk away, anger in each of his steps. "What happened down there?" I asked Garrus as he ate the plate of food in front of him. 

"The mission was bad; what we found down there was sickening. The fighting wasn't that bad, but the thought of what went on before we came turned everyone's stomach, including Shepard's," he muttered, shoving his plate away. 

"So, what happened to Jacob's father?" I asked quietly.

"He's dead!" Garrus said tiredly. "He deserved no less." 

I knew whose idea it had been; Shepard wouldn't have passed up the opportunity to kill the man, no matter his crime. Shepard was a cold blood killer, a brute of humanity. I'd learned this much just from watching him and talking with him a few times. Though there were moments his attitude confounded me; when he did something that I didn't expect. 

When he had ordered me to keep an eye on my medical condition, I had been amazed. On another such occasion, Samara had been injured and forced to stay in Med Bay. Shepard had requested reports, and visited her on many occasions. Still another time, Jack fell unconscious from a blast during a fight. I heard it was Shepard who carried her to the shuttle while holding off the enemy until the others could board. I wasn't sure what to make of him now. 

Yet, we had fought only a few days ago, right here in the Mess Hall. He said something biting and I answered in kind; a fist fight started, and ended with me pinning him against the wall once more. 

Something changed for a moment, something I couldn't place. I meditated and still no answers came to me. "Thane?" Garrus asked, breaking through my thoughts. 

"Yes?" I asked quietly, still disturbed by that one encounter. Emotions that had been asleep for the longest time within me were waking. That was the last thing I wanted or needed now. Shepard was the same; he wasn't one for an emotional relationship. He was what the humans called a ‘love them and leave them’ man. 

"You look like something is bothering you," he commented, waiting for me to open up. I didn't wish to reply; this was something that I would be keeping to myself. 

"Nothing important," I answered, hiding any feelings that I had on the subject. "I'm going to meditate for a while," I nodded, leaving him there. 

I had just gotten comfortable in my chair when my door opened. Shepard walked in, going straight over to the window. He stood with his back facing me as I sat there, waiting for him to talk. I was surprised that he entered my quarters; this was the first time he had been here. The first time he had come to speak with me. 

"I found an anomaly on the planet I was just scanning. I'm taking a team down to check it out; you and Garrus. Be at the shuttle in ten minutes. You shouldn't have a problem with this planet. The climate is very arid," he commanded, turning to leave. 

"Why?" I asked, confused. Not long ago he told me that he wouldn't take me on missions because of a lack of trust. He turned to me with cold, calculating eyes. 

"I'm Commander here. I don't need a reason," he smirked. 

"You're in charge, but you're not my Commander," I retaliated, waiting for the explosion to come. I kept my eyes on his and watched as a calm settled over him. 

"No, I am not, but you wanted me to give you a chance. Well, here it is," he sneered. 

**Shepard's point of view**

 It was amusing to see Thane's look when I told him he would be coming on this mission. I saw he was trying to hide his reaction; it was about time I pulled one over on that cool, calm alien. He was too calm for me sometimes. Though my body didn't seem to mind, the traitorous thing. I stood in front of the shuttle, waiting for him and Garrus to arrive. I wasn't surprised when Thane showed up first. His leathers were immaculate; his eyes cold, devoid of any emotion. Most wouldn't be able to read him, but I was getting a lot better at it. I could see the slight excitement that he tried to hide.

"Well, get in," I ordered, staying outside and waiting for Garrus, who was late once again. I didn't have long to wait and he arrived with an extra gun. 

"Jacob just finished with the modifications. He thought you would want to try it out," he grinned. I took the gun, feeling the increase in weight. 

I climbed in; the only seat left was beside Thane. He stared out of the window as we descended slowly toward the ground. We could see movement the closer we got to the surface. The creatures looked like Geth. _Damn, this wasn't going to be an easy mission,_ I thought to myself. 

We landed several meters from the area we were going to attack. "From what I saw as we descended, we're dealing with Geth and probably husks, as well,” I explained. “If you have fire, use it; we're taking this place in sections. I want this whole place cleared out before we leave. Thane, find a high place and start sniping. You're our look out. Garrus, you take the right; I'm on the left. Take your time and don't rush. The last thing I need is to have to lug your body out of here," I commanded. 

"And if the enemy is too thick for us to split up?" he asked, waiting for my answer. 

"We don't, but I still want Thane to stay on high ground if there is any," I muttered. We left the shuttle, moving quickly through the natural trails. We encountered a few Geth, but not many. 

"Alright, Thane, find a place. We have you covered until you give a signal," I instructed the Drell. He nodded, moving swiftly to some crates that were stacked high enough to give him a good view of the room. 

"I'm in place, Shepard," Thane's voice rumbled through the comm. 

"Good, what does the right side look like?" I asked him. 

"I'll cover the both of you, there shouldn't be any problems," he answered. I nodded to Garrus; he went right as I went left. It had been a while since I split up the team and was able to use stealth. Most of the time the team was too noisy; but this time I was able to move at my own pace, without having to worry about someone fucking it up. 

I knew Thane said he had our backs, but I didn't put much faith in it. He may watch Garrus' back, but I didn't honestly think he would watch mine. I moved from crate from crate, taking out Geth until I came to a set of doors. Garrus was still working on his side with help from Thane. 

"Shepard, where are you going?" Thane asked as I moved through the doors. 

"I'll be back shortly. Keep helping Garrus," I ordered. I moved through the door and ducked quickly when shots erupted. _Damn, there are more here than in the other room,_ I thought sourly. I knew I had made a stupid mistake when they flanked me and I had no place safe to hide. I should have waited for the others. 

I made each shot count, using biotics as much as I could; trying to decimate their numbers so I wasn't being hit. I cursed fluently as my shields came crashing down from the onslaught. I couldn't call my companions for help; they were clearing out the other room. 

"What's the status of the main room?" I asked, waiting for answer. I bit back a groan as a bullet pierced my leg. 

"Almost clear," Thane stated. 

"Good, when you're finished there, get in here quick! Close combat procedures!" I ordered. 

I took down another Geth as a husk came up behind me. Its claws tore through my armor; I groaned in pain, hoping that it wasn't heard over the comm. I kicked the husk back and shot it. My leg screamed in pain, and black dots covered my vision until I used some medigel. I knew it wouldn't heal completely, but it would numb the pain until I got on board the ship. 

I heard two different sets of doors open; one was from my team and the other was right in front of me. I was completely surrounded. A Geth saw me and fired, catching me in the shoulder. He went to fire again, but someone else shot him. "Shepard, your status?" Garrus asked. 

"Fine, he missed," I lied. I used another medigel. It would stop the bleeding shortly; at least I hoped it would. I had managed to take a gunshot to the shoulder and one to the leg. I had claw marks down my back and chest; oh yeah, I was doing just fucking great! Chakwas was going to kill me when she saw me. There are not many people in this galaxy I fear, but she is definitely one of them. 

I took count of the medigel; I had one left and then we were fucked seven ways to Sunday. "Shepard, the area is clear," Thane's voice interrupted my thoughts. _What the hell? I know there was a shit load of Geth here. How did they clear it out fast?_  I thought to myself. 

"Meet me at my current location. There is a set of doors here," I ordered. My voice sounded weak, even to me. I looked at the pile of Geth and husks in front of me and knew I hadn’t killed them all. _Damn! I must have lost track of time. That wasn't good!_

Thane and Garrus moved up to me as I slowly rose to my feet. "Garrus, take lead; I've got the rear," I muttered, but I wondered if I would actually able to cover them. Thane must have thought the same thing. He moved closer, his gaze penetrating as he watched me. I stared, lost in those eyes for a moment before reality came back; he wasn't actually standing there. He was standing with his back to me, up beside Garrus. _What the hell?_ I thought worriedly. I must be losing it. 

"Shepard, we are in the building’s main office. I don't think there are any more rooms," Garrus said. I moved slowly up beside him. The console was blacked out, the monitors static; I knew that we wouldn't find any survivors in this place. The Geth had over run it, but I couldn’t understand how. 

"Shepard, you should look at this," Thane said, passing me a datapad. It told me all that I needed to know. They had uncovered some technology and activated it without proper safety procedures in place. The object had exploded, and not long after, they were swarming with Geth. I should have guessed. 

"There is nothing else to be done here. Let’s head back to the Normandy," I ordered. 

"Yeah we should, since we're out of medigel. I had to use the last one," Garrus muttered, looking at me in concern. 

"How injured are you?" I asked, looking for any sign of injury. 

"I'm not now," he smirked. His smile quickly faded as I swayed for a moment. Blackness started to swallow my vision once more. The effects of the medigel were wearing off, without healing the injuries. I knew I was badly injured; I had to get to the doc. 

"Shepard…" Garrus called and his voice faded away, leaving only emptiness. I felt like I was floating before I felt myself slamming into something hard. Then there was nothing. It reminded me of my death; fighting to breathe from lack of oxygen, my bones feeling like they were being crushed as I plummeted toward the planet, caught in its gravitational pull. 

**Garrus' point of view**

"Shit! I knew he was badly injured. Thane, kill anything that follows us as we get out of here," I ordered, feeling odd about telling the Drell what to do. He nodded, agreeing with me. I picked Shepard up and was surprised; he was heavier than he looked. We raced out of the complex, running toward the shuttle. Shepard was gasping for breath; he was sickly pale, his skin sweaty. I watched as his lips turned a bluish color, not sure what that meant. I had a feeling it was probably bad. 

"Joker, have Mordin and Chakwas meet us in the shuttle bay! Shepard's down," I snapped over the comm. 

"They'll be there. You better keep him alive, Garrus. I won't go through losing him again!" Joker growled at me. 

"Me either, Joker, me either…." I sighed, looking down at the human who had taught me so much since I first met him.  I looked over at the Drell, expecting to see coldness; possibly even a small smile, now that Shepard wouldn't be around to give him a hard time. But that is not what met my gaze. He held one of Shepard's hands in his own. His eyes held a wealth of worry and fear. 

Shepard choked, his breath coming out as a sigh. I waited for him to take another, but it didn't come. I turned to Thane, hoping he would know what to do. He returned my gaze with one that held sorrow and pain. "Thane, what do we do?" I asked, nearly panicking. 

"I don’t know," he answered helplessly as the shuttle landed. The doors opened; Mordin and Chakwas moved quickly, checking his vitals. 

"He's not breathing!" Chakwas said. We tried to stay out of the way, but there was only so much room and we couldn't get out of the door, as they had it blocked. They placed something on his chest that was hooked up to a monitor. 

"BP is 70 over 50 and dropping. Heart rate is 30bpm. We need to get him to Med Bay," Chakwas ordered. 

"Not safe to move him; he will crash. Need him more stabilized than this," Mordin snapped, glaring at her. Mordin forced a pill down his throat that made his heart rate speed up and his blood pressure increase. Chakwas looked at him, stunned. "Safe to move now, must hurry. Garrus, take him. Thane, grab Shepard’s armor," Mordin ordered. 

I followed the professor to Med Bay and placed Shepard on one of the beds. He moved quickly, taking readings of every injury. “Three gunshot wounds, and deep claw marks on upper torso from chest to stomach, more claw marks on his back. Cracked rib bones from claws, loss of blood. Needs to be replenished. Pupils dilated, temperature rising, infection setting in - must work fast," he muttered to himself rapidly. "Garrus, Thane, leave us."

We left. I took a seat at a table near the door. Thane sat opposite me; his hands folded and his elbows on the table, deep in thought. I didn't bother asking what he was thinking or confronting him about the look I saw on his face in the shuttle. He would just deny it. 

I wasn't sure how I felt about this new development; how I would feel if Shepard was with someone else. It's not like we were intimate, but the night we shared the Asari still haunted me. It was the closest I have ever come to being with a human and it was Shepard. I wouldn't have cared if it had been for supremacy; Turians often did that to show their dominance. We didn't do it looking for pleasure, like I had with Tael.

I shook myself of those thoughts as I felt my body starting to react. Thane's focus was on me, a curious expression on his face. I could tell he wondered if I was alright, but he thankfully didn't ask. We sat in silence for hours. I was waiting for word on Tael’s condition, but I wasn't sure why Thane was still here. Maybe he was just here to keep me company. 

The Med Bay doors slid open and Mordin stood there, looking wired. "Shepard is stable," he said, answering my unspoken question before going over to Gardener for some food. I let out a relieved sigh at this news. I knew as long as he was stuck in Med Bay, there would be hell to pay and everyone would know he was not happy. _Damn, I wish we could go on shore leave right now. It would be so much safer,_ I thought tiredly. 

I got up from the table and glanced at the Drell, "I'm retiring for the night," I told him before leaving. I stopped at the top step, turning back to see what he would do. I just had to see if my guess was right. I smirked as I saw him leave the table and head into the doctor’s office. _Yep, I was right! This should be interesting, considering how much Tael hated him,_ I grinned, forgetting about my own desires. This promised to be so much more entertaining.  

 


	8. Chapter 8

I awoke to bright lights and a tapping sound that rapidly grated on my nerves. Quickly I glanced around, checking out the area. Fuck! I was in Dr. Chakwas’ office. This was the last place I wanted to be. She was sitting at her desk with her back toward me. I struggled to a sitting position, and my back screamed in pain as I moved. 

"Good, you're awake. Now I can check your back," she stated as she walked over to me. 

"Don’t worry about it; it’s fine!" I grumbled as I stood up. "Where are my clothes?" I asked, glaring at her. 

"Where you can't get them. Now, sit back down on that bed!" she ordered. I glared at her with cold eyes. 

"No!" I snapped and headed for the door. 

"EDI, lock the door," the doctor ordered. I closed my eyes, counting to ten. The process didn't calm me at all. 

"EDI, unlock this door or I will wreak havoc on each of your terminals on this ship; the first will be just over there," I smirked, pointing to the locked doors on the other side of the office. I knew I could bypass that lock easily and get to her main processing unit. With enough time, I was sure I could find some way to make her scream. The locks in front of me blinked once before turning green. "Good, I would suggest that you never lock a door on me unless I say otherwise," I bit out, stepping through the door. 

"Shepard, we aren't done here!" Chakwas hissed angrily. 

"You may not be done, but I am!" I spat, walking out backwards; keeping an eye on her, in case she decided to sneak an injection into me. It wouldn't have been the first time she'd done something like that to me.  

"Shepard, cute outfit," I heard the grin in Garrus' voice before I turned to look at him. 

"So glad you're enjoying the view," I stated bitingly, then sighed as I let my amusement show. "So, you know how you're always telling me you have my back?" I asked with a cocked brow. 

"Uh-huh," he replied, leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, and his voice thick with amusement. 

"Mind covering my ass now so it’s not on display for everyone's amusement?" I asked with a grin. 

"Nope, but I know someone who might help if you're really nice," he drawled. I narrowed my eyes at him as he motioned toward the person sitting with him. _Thane – fuck, it just had to be him! Couldn't someone have thrown him out of the airlock while I was gone?_ I thought with a sigh. 

"Shepard," he nodded before turning back to his food. I stood there in silence, arguing with myself as everyone in the Mess Hall watched on in amusement. 

"Thane," I replied, swallowing my anger toward him. 

"Is there something you needed?" he asked. His rumbling voice slid through me, sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine. I could feel my body reacting to his voice. I wasn't about to ask him for a favor; there was no way in hell I would stoop that low. 

He got up from the table, and his mouth quirked in amusement as he walked over to me. I held my ground even though I didn't want him anywhere near me; especially when I was at half-mast. He would see it and know that it was because of him. My eyes widened as he took off his leather jacket and passed it over to me. "Here," he said quietly before taking a seat once again. 

I had to fight with myself not to stare; I slipped the jacket on and was surprised to find that it wasn't too tight. I thought I was larger than Thane, but I was obviously wrong. Quickly I made my escape, Garrus' laughter following me to the elevator. 

I retired to the safety of my room, finally able to hide the erection that refused to go down. _What the hell was it with that Drell?_ I wondered furiously. How is it he affects me so much when I hate him? It made no sense to me. 

I tossed the jacket and the Medbay gown on the bed. I grabbed a quick shower and dressed in my Cerberus uniform. I picked up Thane's jacket, but I wasn't ready to face him at the moment. I had just managed to get rid of the hard on he had given me, and I had no desire to develop another. 

I decided to check my mail, looking for any missions that needed to be handled. There were quite a few things that had to be done. It made me wonder how long I had been unconscious. "EDI, how long was I in the Medbay?" I asked the AI curiously.

"Three days, Shepard," she answered before blinking off.

I grabbed the assassin's jacket, finally ready to see him without risking another rush of desire. At least I hoped that was the case. 

I entered the Mess Hall, but it was empty. Damn, that meant I would have to go to Life Support to meet with him. Steeling myself against any unwanted physical reactions, I headed down the hallway, opening the door to Thane’s quarters. 

He wasn't at the table; instead, he was stretched out on his bed, wearing only his leather pants. His chest was bare, revealing chiseled muscles. He sat up gracefully as I walked in, passing him his jacket. "Thanks for lending me this," I muttered, trying not to look at him. The last thing I needed was for him to see me with a raging hard on. 

I felt his hand brush against mine and all my self-control vanished. I could feel myself straining against the zipper of my pants as he stood up, draping his jacket over one of his chairs. _Shepard, it’s time to leave!_ I yelled in my mind, but my body wasn't listening. I walked further into the room, standing beside him and gazing through the window that overlooked engineering. 

I wanted to reach out and touch him; to be honest, I just plain wanted him. I wanted to hear him moan in passion, to feel the strength of his fingers digging into my flesh as I drove myself into him. I snapped back to reality when I felt him move closer to me. He was closer than he had been only a moment before; he was only a few inches from me, his eyes glittering in the low light.  

I gave in to the urges that had been haunting me since our first meeting. My lips brushed against his tentatively, not sure what his reaction would be. I waited for him to either kick my ass or kill me. I was not the one that deepened the kiss; nor was it me that closed those last few inches. His leg slipped between mine, his thigh brushing against my erection as he moved closer. He grasped my wrists, raising them above my head and pressing them firmly against the window. 

He deepened the kiss, his tongue searching my mouth. I sucked on it, causing him to groan and he shifted his leg slightly so that it brushed firmly against me. I moaned softly, and he closed the remaining distance between us. His mouth traveled down my throat to the zipper on my vest. My breath hitched as his fingers brushed against my exposed skin. I heard the zipper being dragged down a little at a time. Reality returned quickly and I pulled away. "No," I said as I broke his grasp on my wrists and stopped him from lowering the zipper any further. _Too close! That was too damned close,_ I thought, panic rising within me.

He was about to say something, but I silenced him with a savage kiss; using my lips, tongue and teeth on him until I had him growling against me, a shiver racing through his body. I moved to the red ribs that ran along his neck; I licked and sucked on them, lightly grazing against them with my teeth. His fingers dug into my shoulders, and his breath escaped in desperate gasps against my ear, sending a shudder of pleasure through me. 

I ran my hand down his chest, following his black markings. My mouth soon followed, moving lower until I came to his leather pants. I could see him straining against the supple material. My mouth watered with a string desire to taste him. Slowly I lowered the zipper; he watched me closely, his dark, unfathomable eyes never leaving mine. I pulled his pants down, and he kicked them off.  

His erection sprung free of its confinement; it was thick and long with ribs running along its length. I took him in my mouth, watching his reaction. A hiss escaped him, and he threw his head back. His hands laced through my hair, guiding me at the tempo he wanted – deep and fast. I met his demands for a time, and then switched to a style that I enjoyed; sucking on him agonizingly slow, stopping when I had him deep in my mouth, my throat convulsing around him. He groaned loudly as I slowly backed away, repeating the process again. I could feel him swelling further, and I knew he was close. I shifted my gaze up, watching him closely; his muscles were straining and his face was filled with desire. His eyes shone dark as the deepest of oceans and his lips was parted. He looked to me like a man drowning in pleasure. 

I took him deep within my throat once more and he lost control, spilling himself into my mouth. His bellow of pleasure reverberated off the walls. I sucked deeply, enjoying the salty sweetness of his essence. Slowly I rose to my feet, moving him toward the table; turning him so that his back was to me. I kissed him along his neck, working my way to the bright ribs and biting them lightly. 

He raised a hand to my face, brushing his fingertips lightly across my cheek and distracting me from my wandering. He turned his head slowly, softly brushing his lips across mine, and then deepening the kiss. He teased my lips apart with his tongue. My breath hitched as I felt warmth spread through me; my chest tightened and I gasped, opening for him. He turned slowly, never breaking the kiss; his other hand cupped my cheek, and he lightly stroked my skin with his fingertips. He trailed feather light kisses across my face, lavishing attention on each and every scar. My eyes fluttered closed with a sigh; emotions ran through me that I couldn’t name. Truly, I didn’t want to know what the feelings meant. 

"Thane, don't," I said, trying to sound strong, but my voice cracked, and I sounded terribly hoarse. I stood there shaking, filled with an emotion that I could not name. He stopped, a soft smile spreading across his face. 

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice raspy, his breath fanning my face. I searched his eyes and couldn’t read them. _What did I want? I wanted to fuck him. I wanted him out of my mind. That was what I wanted. So why couldn't I say that to him? What the fuck was wrong with me?_

Anger overcame those other emotions, and I was able to regain control. Anger was an emotion I could understand; I was comfortable there. "What I want is to be inside you! What I want is to get you out of my system!" I hissed, my passion coming back tenfold. The thought of him braced on that table with me pounding inside of him was almost too much.

His soft smile turned into a smirk as he slowly nodded. "Is that all you want?" he asked calmly, using the tone that normally sets my teeth on edge. This time, however, it made me burn with lust. 

"What else would I want?" I asked with a sneering smile. 

He raised a brow ridge, but didn't answer; his hand went for my zipper, slowly lowering it. My throbbing erection was set free and his cool, scaled hand grasped it, stroking it roughly. My head fell back, and I moaned deeply as he continued touching me. His other hand laced through my hair, yanking me close for a bruising kiss. I melted against him, returning his kisses passionately. He broke the kiss abruptly, gazing into my eyes.

"Is _this_ what you want?" he asked once again. He placed his teeth against my throat, slowly increasing the pressure until it felt like he was about to break the skin. I held my breath, my heart beating fast in anticipation for the pain that would come; the pain that I knew I would enjoy. I felt his teeth sink into my skin; I groaned and fought off my release.   

"Yes," I gasped, grinding myself against his hand. I reached down, wrapping my hand around his member, tugging it firmly; skirting the line between pain and pleasure. He was hard instantly, and he thrust his hips against me, creating more friction. 

I backed him toward the table, ready to end the foreplay and bury myself deep inside him. He moved quickly, turning me toward the table instead. I fought back, trying to regain my dominance, but he was stronger than me. I ended up with my hands flat on the table and my pants around my ankles; Thane positioned himself at my back, preparing to penetrate me. 

"When you are ready for something more, I'll let you take me. If release is all you desire, I'll be the one in charge," he murmured before shoving himself deep within me. We both cried out, our voices echoing off the walls. He set a fast pace, driving himself in and out, going deeper with each stroke; his body slapping against mine. I felt like I was being stretched more than my body could handle. It was the greatest I had ever felt. His every move brought out more pleasure; especially when he hit the one spot that sent stars exploding behind my eyes. 

I felt him swelling, filling me even more; his hot semen began filling me, bringing me to my own release. I sighed in satisfaction, waiting for him to pull out, but he didn't. He kept thrusting and soon his member was filling me again, his thrusts easing. I didn't think my body would recover fast enough to meet him for another orgasm. He slowed more, his strokes long and sure, and I hardened once again as lust coursed through my body. 

Our moans and grunts filled the room. The sounds of our bodies meeting in passion filled my ears as we both reached our peak a final time. This was a first for me; going a second round with someone I hadn't paid for. Usually I was long gone by now, but now I found myself lying against the cold surface of the table, trying to catch my breath.  

He had one hand braced on my back while his other lay on the table next to my head. His weight pressed down against me as he tried catching his breath. I could hear the strain in his gasps, and it appeared to be too much for only two rounds of sex. "Thane, are you alright?" I asked breathlessly.

"Just give me a moment," he rasped with a choking cough. I glanced over my shoulder; his eyes were glassy, and his green color was paler than usual. 

I couldn't sit up with him against my back, but I knew something was very wrong. He had a hard time catching his breath, and I could feel him gasping against my back. It took a while, but his weight slowly lifted off of me. His spent member slipped free as he backed away. I heard him sit heavily on his bunk, and I turned to face him. "What the hell happened? And don't fucking tell me 'nothing'!" I growled, forcing him to look up at me. 

"I've been over doing it lately with Garrus on the mats," he rasped. "I'll be fine."

"EDI, have Mordin report to Life Support now!" I ordered, gazing down at the Drell. 

"Shepard, there is no need for that," he muttered, glaring at me.

"Not your choice. My ship, my rules. Mordin is going to check you out," I snapped coldly, pulling up my pants in the process. I stood there in silence waiting for Mordin to arrive, closely watching the assassin in front of me. I leaned back against the table with my arms folded across my chest, smirking at him as he continued glowering at me. 

His door hissed opened and Mordin walked in, taking in the scene with just a glance. Thane sat on his bed nude, while I stood there with bite marks that were clearly visible. Mordin's eyes widened, but he made no comment on the situation before him. "What the problem, Shepard?" he asked quickly. 

"Thane had some problems breathing a few moments ago, due to over exertion," I chuckled as the Salarian cheeks reddened. He walked over to Thane, running a scan on him. I listened closely as he muttered some medical jargon to himself. 

"He needs rest. No more exertion for the next few days, just as you should be resting from those claw marks on your back," he reprimanded the both of us. I blinked slowly at him; I had forgotten all about the wounds on my back. Thane had been leaning right on them and they hadn't hurt. 

"Professor, I think they are healed now," I told him, taking off my vest and showing him my back. 

"You're right, they are gone. Must be because of enhancements Cerberus gave you," he muttered to himself. 

"Well, what do you know? That can actually be of use," I chuckled. 

"If there is nothing else, I will be going back to the lab," Mordin said as he made a hasty retreat. 

I started to leave, but I knew I had to make sure Thane understood that this was nothing more than a release; an easy way to get him out of my mind. I began to speak, but he cut me off. "I already know what you are going to say. You need not worry; this was pleasure, nothing more. If you wish more, you know where to find me," he smirked, his eyes challenging. 

"Good, I'm glad you're a realist," I grinned, happy that there was someone else that understood the rules. I moved toward the door, stopping when they opened before me. I looked over my shoulder toward him. 

"Yes?" he asked with a raised ridge brow. 

"If you have trouble with your breathing again, I want you to get your ass to Mordin. If I find out you didn't follow my orders, you'll be taken there, willing or not!" I told him coldly. _What the fuck did I care if he died or not? And why was I being so adamant about his health? All he was to me was a quick fuck, though he was definitely one of the best I had ever had._    

I left him there, heading out for some food before I went to the CIC. Gardener watched me walk his way, and he shifted uncomfortably as I neared. "Problem, Gardener?" I asked, grabbing the proffered plate. 

"Uh… no…no problem, Commander," he muttered, avoiding my eyes. The look on his face said what he wouldn't; he had heard me with Thane and he was uncomfortable. 

"Good, make sure it stays that way," I stated pointedly before taking a seat at one of the tables. There were a few of the crew sitting around, talking quietly to themselves. I took a hesitant bite, impressed that this time the food was edible. I looked up as someone sat across from me. 

"So, is he finally out of your system?" Garrus asked with a smirk. 

"Yep, no more worries," I grinned, returning to my food. 

"The next time, I would suggest you take it up to your room. Then no one would hear the two of you," Garrus chuckled. 

"Garrus, there isn't going to be a next time," I snapped, warning him to drop the subject. 

"Whatever you say," he muttered. "I should tell you that I had Joker set a course to the Citadel." 

I blinked slowly at him, wanting to kill him; but I knew I promised that we would go there. He looked at me worriedly. I could see he wanted to say more, but hesitated. Smart Turian - able to keep his mouth shut. 

"Tael, there is something else, I found Sidonis. He’s on the Citadel," he said quietly, staring at me. I was about to snarl at him, but his words stopped me. I knew he wanted revenge on the Turian who had betrayed his team and caused their deaths; and I would make sure he got it. 

"Don't worry, you'll get your revenge," I sighed, rising to my feet and watching him closely. "Come and get me when we reach the Citadel." I left him there, headed to the sparring room. 

I was almost in the room when EDI interrupted me. "Shepard, Thane wishes to speak with you," she stated, vanishing quickly. 

I groaned, giving the mats a longing look. With a sigh, I went to back to the elevator to meet up with the Drell. If he was calling for a third round, he had another thing coming; it was never happening again. I stopped in front of Life Support, not wanting to open the door. 

"Enter!" Thane's gravelly voice called out. I groaned as my lower regions twitched at the sound of his voice. Desire coursed through my body. _Fuck! I thought I was over this shit,_ I thought furiously.

I walked into Life Support; Thane was fastening his vest, his green scales gleaming against the black. I swallowed, wanting to run my hands over his body; feel it twitch as his moans vibrated through me. _FUCK!!! He was supposed to be out of my system. I wasn't supposed to want him more!_   

"EDI said you wanted to see me," I muttered. He raised his gaze to meet mine as he finished snapping the last buckle. I had to fight not to lose myself in those dark, turmoil-filled eyes. _I so didn't need this shit right now._

"Yes, it seems that I have a problem; though now that you are here, I am not sure where to begin," he paused, giving me a tormented look. 

"Thane, either come out and say it or I am walking out the door and you will never have a chance to say it again," I stated coldly.

"Shepard, this isn't an easy subject to discuss," he muttered. If he was looking for comfort, he was looking at the wrong person _._ "I've received some disturbing news that my son has accepted an assassination contract. He's become ‘disconnected’ with himself." 

"What do you mean 'disconnected'?" I asked with narrowed eyes. I was more than slightly shocked to hear that he was a father. 

"At the moment, he reminds me a lot of you," he smirked. "You are very disconnected, as well."

"Never mind. Fuck the explanation. What do you need me to do?" I asked, annoyance filling my voice. 

"I need your help. He's taken on a contract and I want to stop him from completing the kill," Thane stated, staring at me uneasily.

"How old is this kid of yours?" I asked. 

"20 now, does it matter?" Thane asked with an arched brow ridge. 

"You do realize that he is old enough to make his own decisions?" I asked, rolling my eyes. He stared at me with the patient gaze that I hated. "Fine, we'll stop your son from being an ass like his father." A smirk lit the Drell’s mouth as he watched me. "We're heading to the Citadel, anyway. Garrus has some business to take care of there, as well. We'll stop your son first, then the BOTH of us are helping Garrus. You want my help? That’s what it’s going to take," I snapped coldly. 

"I have told you before, my gun is yours," he bowed, his eyes filled with amusement. 

"Don't I wish! If that were true, then maybe you'd put that gun to your head and pull the trigger for me. Then I would have you out of my fucking system," I raged, not even thinking about what I was saying. Actually at the moment, I didn’t care what I said. This Drell was driving me insane. 

I glared at him one final time and stormed out of Life Support, wanting to put as much distance between him and I as I could. The doors closed behind me and I let out a relieved sigh that quickly turned to a growl when I heard his chuckle through the door. 

I stormed over to the Armory, ready to make this particular dream come true. Jacob glanced up as I entered. "Something I can do for you, Commander?" he asked, standing at attention. 

"Give me a fucking gun so I can shoot that Drell!" I ordered, holding my hand out toward him. 

"Sir, I don't think the Illusive man would appreciate that," he mumbled. I moved quickly, shoving him hard against the wall, my hand cutting off his air supply. His moved to stop me, but I brought up my knee, nailing him hard in the jewels; after that, the only thing holding him up was my arm. 

"Give me a fucking gun and I don't care what that asshole has to say about it!" I snarled in his face. 

His gaze flicked off to a nearby bench, upon which lay several new pistols. I let him go and he sagged to the floor. "The Drell pissed you off that much, huh?" he muttered, glaring up at me. 

"You have no idea," I hissed, grabbing up one of the guns. I didn't care how much damage it did; it was going to be close range as it was. 

"Yeah, I think I have a pretty good idea," he grumbled, glaring at me. I glanced at him with a smirk and shrugged my shoulders. With a malicious grin, I marched my way toward Thane’s door. I had just arrived when Garrus appeared next to me. 

"Tael, who are you killing his time?" he asked with amusement. 

"Thane," I growled, ready to hit the button on his door. 

"Do you really think that a good idea?" Garrus asked, leaning up against the wall opposite Thane's door, his arms crossed over his chest. 

"At the moment I don't give a fuck!" I snapped, staring at him coldly until he backed off with his hands raised. The doors opened for me. I glanced around to see where that fucking Drell was hiding. Slowly I took a step into his room, searching the shadows for him. I took a few more steps into the room, listening to the door close at my back. 

Movement alerted me that I made a fatal mistake. He was right behind me. His one arm snaked around my throat, while his other took the gun from my hand. He pulled me hard against his body, and I kicked back, hitting his legs. He grunted, tossing me onto his bed. I went to move, but once again I wasn't fast enough. He pinned both my arms behind me, his knee digging into my back. 

I gave a muffled snarl, trying to buck him off of me. He grabbed my hair, yanking my head at an odd angle. I rolled my eyes up to look at him, and he smirked down at me. I struggled harder, wanting to wipe that smirk off his face. He held me easily, watching me curiously. 

"Let me go, you fucking asshole!" I snarled, bucking my body harder. He pressed his knee down firmer, and a grunt of pain escaped me. 

"No, I don't think that would be prudent," he murmured, smirking. I silently glared at him. 

He shifted his weight, pulling me to my feet, my back still facing him. He had my wrists locked in a firm grip that was slowly cutting off my circulation. He leaned into me, his breath feathering my ear, and my body betrayed me with its reaction. A shiver raced through me, and a moan that I had to fight down almost escaped. 

I heard a soft chuckle that reverberated through my body, sending shudders of pleasure through me. I shifted my stance as much as I was able to. My pants were too tight against my hardened shaft. I felt his lips lightly trail a line down my neck. I tried the hide the sigh, but couldn't. His teeth set gently against my shoulder; then he bit down, breaking through my skin. I groaned low in my throat as pleasure shot through me. "Is this what you want, for me to pleasure you again?" he whispered seductively. 

I didn't answer him. I couldn't; desire was fogging my brain. "Even if this is what you wish, it is not something I want to give you at this time," he murmured, letting me go. I stood there staring at him, my brain not comprehending that he was denying me.

I shook my clouded head and walked out, not able to say anything to him. Nothing made sense to me; this was the first time someone had refused me. 

**Thane's point of view**

I watched him leave with sadness filling my heart. He wanted so much, yet he couldn't see it himself. Earlier, when we had been together, it had not been planned; but seeing him there made me realize something that I didn't want to know. It was something that I wished to avoid; I was waking up from my battle sleep. 

I saw the emotions in his eyes when I treated him with tenderness. There had been a yearning so deep that I could have drowned myself in it. For the first time I saw what color his eyes truly were; dark brown, almost black with desire. The scars that lined his face faded and his features were not as harsh; he was actually good looking this way. 

I should have seen this coming, being awakened from by battle sleep by him. His reactions I found amusing; he had no control whatsoever over his emotions until recently. His callous attitude was hiding a deeper pain that most people would never see; I don't think he even realized it himself. I could see it in his treatment of Joker and Garrus. He relaxes around them; he is like a totally different person. I wondered if I would ever see that side of him, or would I always be a hated enemy of his because I expose emotions he would rather leave buried? 

As soon as he left, I knew this confrontation was coming. I had made him feel and it scared him. I heard him and Garrus outside my door and knew he was going to try and kill me. That there was a chance that I could die didn't bother me. As soon as he walked in, I knew he was acting on rage; just as on our last mission. 

A shiver went through me at the thought of what we had seen when we came upon him. My heartbeat stilled in my chest, seeing all the blood around him. Then he passed out and Garrus had to carry him. I guarded out retreat as we raced to the shuttle. My own anger, something that I always had in constant control, reared its head and I didn't try and stop it from showing. 

We made it to the shuttle and Tael stopped breathing. Something clamped around my chest when neither of us knew what to do to help him. That was something I didn't want to feel again, something I never wanted to go through again. I knew without a doubt that it was time that he learnt control; his rage was eventually going to get him killed. 

My thoughts wouldn't stray from him so I could concentrate on my son. Right now I should be worrying about him, not thinking about the hotheaded Commander. I sat on the floor with my legs crossed, letting myself fall deep into meditation, but that proved to be a mistake. His face appeared before me, and his scent surrounded me; his smooth, deep voice whispering in my ear. I snapped my eyes open, rising from the floor and leaving my room. 

Without thinking of where I was going, I walked into the elevator and hit the console for Tael's floor.                        

 


	9. Chapter 9

I lay in my bed, curled against a cool, soft surface. Sleep still pulled at me; memories of the previous night. Thane had come to my room after denying me. I wanted to kill him for even daring to appear, but that wasn't what happened. We had sex and fell asleep for a time; and I told him I expected him gone when I woke up. 

My eyes snapped open as strong arms pulled me closer, holding me tightly. My head was resting on a chest, not some cool, benign surface. Thane! He was still here -   _why the fuck was he still here?_ I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to stay. This was not good – I had never spent an entire night with anyone and when I finally did, it was with him.

"Hey, Commander, we're docking at the Citadel," Joker announced, his voice interrupting my thoughts. 

"Joker, announce to the crew that they have the next three days to themselves. Have Garrus meet me at the airlock in an hour," I ordered.

"Will do, Commander," Joker said before cutting off the comm. 

I glared at the drell in my bed, my anger toward him rising, "What the fuck are you still doing here?" I bit out, wrapping the sheet around my naked bottom half. I had no desire to put up with his shit on this particular day. This was the last thing I wanted; especially now that I was at the Citadel. 

"I slept longer than I planned," he answered. He lay there passively, the sheets just covering his hips; watching me with fathomless eyes. I didn’t meet those eyes, not this time; there was too much on my mind. I was at the last place I wanted to be, and I was in bed with the last person that I wanted to be with. 

I slipped out of the bed, not bothering to cover myself. "You better be out of this room before I get back," I hissed, heading to the washroom. I stripped off my vest and shirt before entering, throwing them over the chair that sat in front of my desk. 

I turned on the water as hot as I could stand it, trying to wash away the memories. _A maniacal laugh as sharpened claws sunk deep into my skin, cutting through my armor easily. Garrus lay hurt not far away, trying to rise to his feet. Saren's sharp, pointed teeth gleamed as he ripped through my armor and flesh like paper. Wrex saved me, but I could already taste the blood in my mouth. I knew that I was dead no matter what they did for me._

_The shooting started once more. This time Saren was replaced with Sovereign. He didn't go after the others; he went after the weak link. Me. Teeth tore through broken arms; my own skin glistened from his mouth. My arm was now useless, and I gasped for breath that I simply couldn’t find. Wrex defeated the monster. It hadn’t been the humans; it had been the aliens that saved us that day._

_The ground shook beneath our feet as the ship called Sovereign slowly fell to the ground. One piece just missed me; another I dodged, yelling out in agony. Blackness came, wrapping me in its embrace. I welcomed it, wanting it to hold me close so I didn’t have to feel this pain._

_In that darkness was more pain to be found. A lot more; my body screamed and I screamed with it. A piece of Sovereign was embedded in my side, going straight through me. It wasn't big enough to kill me, but enough to do extensive damage to my already battered body._

_They found me, following my screams. They saved me - not the humans, not the Alliance, not the Council, but my team mates; the aliens I had trusted above all others. Garrus and Wrex saved me, finding me and getting me to a medic. I spent one week being poked and prodded; answering an endless stream of questions. For one week I was forced to stay in bed; my mind screaming with the need to know her status. I wanted desperately to check on her, but couldn't ask because no one knew of her._

_They let me out and I rushed to her apartment. She was there, but so was a part of Sovereign. She stared up at me with sightless eyes, a chunk of metal embedded in her chest. My younger sister was gone. Now I was returning to the place where she died and no one cared. One fucking week had passed and no one bothered finding her. Nobody knew she had been there; they hadn't cared._

I screamed out my rage, slamming my fist against the wall. EDI blipped on for a moment before disappearing. I remembered her face, and I remembered holding her close. She was so young; taken too soon. I told my parents and they said I was to blame. I agreed with them; I was to blame for her death. I should have protected her. 

I slammed my fist into the shower wall once more and watched as droplets of blood fell to the ground. My shoulders shook with the angry sobs that wracked my body. Long ago, I swore to myself that I would never return to the Citadel, and yet here I was. 

I bowed my head, resting it against the wall, letting the hot water wash over me. A hand rested on my shoulder, while another curved around my waist. I closed my eyes, the pain overwhelming. I needed to find myself; I needed to hold onto my anger, but I couldn't at the moment. I turned to the drell, wanting to yell at him or hit him, but I couldn't find my anger. 

I stared at him; wanting to feel fury, needing it to stay in control. I didn't want him of all people seeing me like this; yet he stood there silently, his eyes full of understanding. "Thane, leave," I whispered, my voice hoarse. I was so disgusted with myself. I couldn't face anyone; I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. 

He took a step forward, pushing me up against the wall. I didn't fight or argue. I couldn't find those feelings inside of me. I was lost at the moment. The water shut off, and steam billowed through the room, leaking out of the open door. Something at the back of my mind nagged at me. I couldn't quite grasp it, but I knew it was something important; something very important. 

He took my hand, leading me out of the room like a fucking pussy, but I couldn't even find enough rage for that. He sat me on the bed, running a towel over my skin. I didn't protest as he ran the towel over my scarred chest, or when he stepped away. I felt hollow at the moment. The memories were there, showing me what I so desperately wanted to forget. 

He passed me something and it took a few moments for me to register what was in my hand – a muscle shirt. With my body on autopilot, I slipped it on. He stood in front of me, worry in his eyes. "What happened?" he asked, his voice slithering over my skin. It was so amazingly soothing. 

"I…I don't want to remember…I can't…" I choked, closing my eyes, fighting off the burning in them. I knew there were tears and no matter how broken I felt, I was not going to cry. "I want to forget, not remember…" I whispered, my voice barely audible. 

His hands laced through my short hair, yanking my head back. I winced in pain as his mouth crushed against mine; his slick tongue penetrating my mouth. My body stirred, and desire slowly coursed through it. His other arm wrapped around my chest, pulling me close as he knelt between my legs. He broke from the kiss, both of us gasping for air. I stared into his black eyes, seeing his desire in them. My focus was solely on him; nothing else mattered at the moment. 

I leaned down, taking his mouth in a demanding kiss, my tongue dueling with his; enjoying his exotic taste. We both moaned as I leaned back on the bed, bringing him with me; feeling his weight on me. I held him close as if he were a lifeline. I needed desperately to forget and I knew he would keep my mind off of my memories. 

We ground our bodies together; finding pleasure in each movement. Our hands roamed, seeking each other, stroking the hardened flesh beneath our fingertips. His teeth found the curve of my neck, sinking in as I groaned huskily, sucking on the red ridges on the side of his head. He slipped into me, using my own desire to ready me. We moaned loudly as he filled me; and our bodies stilled for a moment. Our eyes met and held; emotions played across them, darkening them. We began to move, a dance as old as time itself. He used the strength drells were known for with each thrust and I matched him with desperation. The sounds of our encounter filled the room; and the memories faded, no longer pounding at the front of my mind. 

With one final thrust, we found our release, breathing heavily as we stayed locked together, stretching out the pleasure. He sagged against me, his head resting against the crook of my shoulder as we both tried to find our breath. His weight bore down on me, bringing me back to myself. "You know, drells aren’t the lightest things in the world," I grumbled as I tried to breathe regularly; smirking when he lifted his head and looked at me with a raised brow ridge. 

"I see you're back to normal," he smirked and then grimaced as he pulled out, rolling off to the side.

I rose to my feet on unsteady legs. I glanced down at the drell as he lay there, watching me. I shook my head and walked into the bathroom, grabbing a towel and wiping myself off. I tossed him an unused towel, allowing him to clean himself. I retrieved a pair of pants from my closet, not sure what to say to him. 

I heard him move around the room while I finished getting dressed. With a sigh I turned to him; he was in his leather pants, vest and coat, his hands folded behind his back as he looked at a picture on my desk. I walked to the door, ready to leave and complete the two missions as quickly as possible. Maybe then I would be able to get pissed drunk and not have to think anymore. 

I stopped at the door when I felt him behind me. “Thanks, Thane,” I said, looking over my shoulder at him. I nodded, not sure what else I should say. He didn't answer, but inclined his head toward me. 

Garrus was waiting by Joker, talking quietly. I worried what Thane would say or do. Would he hint at what happened, and would they find out? "About time you showed, Shepard," Garrus muttered. 

"Whatever," I replied, glaring at him. 

"What took you so long?" he asked, glancing at Thane. 

"Our Commander was being an ass, as usual," Thane scowled, glaring at me. Relief washed through me as I realized he would keep my secret. 

"What did you do this time?" Garrus asked, grinning at Thane. 

Thane turned the glare at the Turian, and I smirked at them. "As fun as it would be to see you kick the shit out of each other, you said wanted my help. Let's get to it before the timer runs out," I grumbled. 

"Timer, Tael?" Garrus asked with a raised brow ridge. 

"Yeah, before I get bored. Once I'm bored, I'm out of here and the two of you can deal with it on your own," I smirked at him. I turned my back on him and met Thane's eyes squarely, hoping he would understand my meaning. His inner eye lid blinked once before a smirk curved his mouth. 

"Problem?" I asked sneeringly. 

"No more than usual," he answered calmly, following Garrus out of the airlock. 

I walked up close behind him. "Thank you," I muttered under my breath. I think this was a record for the greatest number of ‘thanks’ I had ever given _anyone_ in a single day. It wasn’t sitting too well with me at the moment, but I couldn't seem to get angry about it. 

I glanced around, impressed with all the new security measures. Thane looked around in disgust; telling us how many flaws he found in their system and how many of those flaws were around when he had last visited the Citadel.  We approached the inner C-Sec door and were stopped; my brow rose when I was told by the guard to halt. "You had better hurry the fuck up because I am going through that door, with or without your permission," I bit out. 

"You'll have a hard time doing that," the Turian at the door said snidely. 

"Don't bet on it," I sneered, my hand resting on my gun. I so wanted to pull it and teach this Turian a lesson. 

"It’s saying that you are dead," he commented, looking at me expectantly. 

I blinked slowly, a disdainful look crossing my face. The Turian shifted uncomfortably. "Um, yeah, you can have that fixed at the office right through these doors," he muttered, not meeting my eyes as I strolled past him. 

I walked up to a desk, waiting for the officer behind it to finish reprimanding one of his subordinates. I listened with half an ear, amused with what I heard. So, he had no problems with beating suspects? I glanced at Thane and Garrus to see what they thought. There was no expression on Thane's face, but Garrus rolled his eyes. "So, Shepard, is he a long lost relative?" he asked with a grin. 

"Not that I know of," I smirked, turning my attention back to the officer. 

He noticed us as he took a seat at his desk. "Something I can do for you?" he asked. 

"Yeah, there a few things," I smirked. "Number one, I seem to be dead in your databases; I need that fixed. Number two, this drell needs to find his son. Finally, I need to find someone named Fade," I stated coldly, crossing my hands over my chest. 

"You don’t ask for much, do you?" he muttered, scowling at me. 

"Be thankful that’s all I'm asking for," I sneered, leaning down close to him. He brought up my file, his eyes widening. He glanced at me, then back at my file. I knew what he was reading; my death count, my way with people. Well, actually, my lack thereof. 

"Yes, I see the problem now. I'll just fix that up," he said hastily, looking at me nervously. 

"Damn, Shepard, what do you have in that file?" Garrus asked, chuckling. 

"Stuff I did before becoming a Spectre, and some stuff I did after we defeated Saren," I smirked.

"Now as for your drell friend. It seems another drell was spotted here not long ago. Is there something in particular you are looking for?" he asked.

"He's gotten himself in some trouble and I want to know who he would talk to," I shrugged, waiting for him to reply. 

"Well, if he’s running with the wrong people, he would probably know Mouse. He's a duct rat, one of the orphans who grew up on the Citadel. He'll probably have some information on your missing drell. You'll find him around the Dark Star lounge," he answered. 

"Fine, we'll be back later for the rest of the information," I nodded and left, following the signs to the Dark Star. "Well, let's find Mouse," I muttered. 

                                                                ~oooo~

After an interrogation that only took a few minutes, I found myself on a catwalk, following a senator. I smirked as I watched him make his political pitch to some bystanders. "Do you have him, Shepard?" Thane asked, his voice coming through the headset. It didn't matter that the headset distorted his voice a bit; it still affected me. 

"Yeah, I have him. He's talking with some people," I answered. "Where are you?" I hadn't seen him since coming up here, nor had I sensed his presence. 

"In the darkest corner," he answered, amusement thick in his voice. 

"Any sign of your son yet?" I asked. 

"No, nothing yet," he replied. I heard the sadness in his voice and rolled my eyes. 

I cut off communications and followed the bigot some more. His bodyguard entered a building while he waited outside. "Do you still have him?" Thane asked. 

"Yes, he's waiting outside a club while his bodyguard is inside, shaking someone down. Thane, you do realize that your son is doing the Citadel a favor by killing him?" I asked, annoyed that he wouldn't allow his son to complete this particular assassination. 

"I don't want him to become like me," he murmured, sadness still thick in his voice. 

"Fine, you're son won't kill him, but I will; so consider yourself warned," I hissed angrily as the two idiots started running down the concourse below me. 

"I already know, Shepard," he voice purred through the headset. 

"You know, we really need to have the headsets readjusted so your voice doesn't…." I trailed off, catching myself before I finished that specific thought. I cursed myself, wanted to beat my head on the glass in front of me. _What the fuck is that drell doing to me?_ I berated myself. 

I shook my head and followed the target some more, keeping pace with their run easily. "What do you see, Shepard?" Thane's voice whispered through the headset. 

"He's talking to the bartender," I told him before he could ask. "Now he's heading toward some Krogans. They appear to belong to the same company as his bodyguard. He seems nervous, as well," I murmured, wondering what had spooked the politician. 

I went through the next set of doors, and a boy moved to intercept me. _Damn! I didn’t have fucking time for this!_ I thought and decked him, not bothering to watch him fall to the floor. This kid of Thane's was starting to piss me off more with each passing minute. If Thane didn't do something about his kid, I was going to. 

As I exited the building, I spotted Talid and his bodyguard approaching his penthouse. A young drell stepped up behind them, moving purposefully. "Thane, I see him," I yelled, chasing after them. Kolyat raised his gun. "Kolyat!" I shouted, tempted to shoot him; just to stop him, not to kill. The kid swung around toward me, shock evident on his face. He vaguely resembled his father, but I was betting he looked more like his mother. The senator raced away and Kolyat followed, shooting his Krogan bodyguard. _Stupid, stupid kid,_ I thought, but I had to admit he had balls. I took off running after him with Thane right behind me. 

Within moments, we entered the senator’s penthouse. Kolyat had him on the ground, his trembling hand pointing a gun at the Turian’s head. My anger went up another notch. I smirked at the kid as he ranted at his father. He glanced at me, his eyes widening as he realized that my gun was pointed at him. "It's so tempting to shoot you right now. It’s because of you that I am running around the Citadel, saving a complete asshole. I should be on my ship, instead of this godforsaken place," I snarled. I felt movement behind me and knew it was Thane, moving closer to stop me from shooting his son. I moved my gun quickly, shooting the senator in the head.

The Turian fell to the floor, and Kolyat screamed, looking down at the dead body, horrified. I walked up to the kid, grabbing him by the neck. "If you ever pull another fucking stunt like this, I will hunt you down and your father won't be able to stop me!" I hissed in his face. "Now I would suggest you talk with your father and get the fuck out of my face." His eyes widened in fear, and his body trembled beneath my hands. I stepped away from him, taking the gun from his hand. 

I walked over to Thane, passing him the gun. "Talk with him. I'll handle C-Sec," I muttered, glaring at Bailey, who had just entered the door behind us. Thane moved off to the side with his shaken son as I approached the C-Sec officer. 

"If you even think about arresting me for killing Talid, you better bring your entire squad with you," I said, grinning maliciously. 

"Something tells me I wouldn't be there to fill out the paperwork. Also, you're a Spectre and that puts you out of my jurisdiction," he grumbled, scowling at me. "But the son…." he trailed off as my anger rose another notch. I knew what put that fearful look in his eyes; my glowing red eyes, and the radiant scars on my face. 

"I think we should get the back to C-Sec where the drell and his son can talk privately," he mumbled. "You can catch a ride with me." 

"Catch a ride? I'm driving," I smirked, taking his key card as he led the way. Thane and Kolyat hopped into a different car. 

                                                                                ~oooo~

Garrus and I were stood next to Bailey's desk. The officer was visibly shaking. "He let you drive, didn't he?" Garrus asked, smirking at the C-Sec officer. 

"He should never be in control of any vehicle," Bailey muttered, glaring at me. 

"What's wrong, Bailey, did I scare you? Are you that much of a pansy?" I sneered at him. His neck and face reddened as he glowered at me. 

"You said there was some other information you wanted," he grumbled quickly, changing the subject. 

"Yeah, I am looking for a guy named Fade, Where do I find him?" I asked. 

"Wish I knew that answer. All I know is that he sometimes runs his business through a warehouse on the lower level," he grumbled. 

"Well, if you know he is there, then why don't you haul his ass in here?" I asked him, wondering why he didn’t do anything about a wanted criminal. 

"It’s not that easy; we don’t have any clue as to who he is. There is no proof," he explained. 

"Fine, we'll check it out," I said and smirked in anticipation. I was about to say more, but Thane came out of the interrogation room. The average person would never have recognized the pain in his eyes, or the anger that lingered there. _So, why the fuck did I notice it?_ I thought furiously. _Damn that fucking drell! He did something to me and he was going to pay for it!_

"I would ask that you refrain from  shooting up my district," Bailey hissed angrily. 

"What and who I shoot doesn't concern you. Just be thankful for being alive right now. You've annoyed me enough for one day," I bit out and smirked as he paled.

"You ready to head, Thane?" I asked. 

"You should know that I do have to arrest your son. He did shoot someone," Bailey muttered, looking at me nervously. 

"Your point being what, Bailey? I killed someone more important than the man he shot," I smiled at the memory. 

"I can't let it slide," he said quietly. 

"Yes you can. Don't say a word, and have him do community service or work for you," I grumbled. 

"This should be handled by the court system," he retaliated. 

"No, it shouldn’t. If it does, I will be forced to take extreme measures. You have a choice - community service, or have him work for you," I bit out coldly. 

"Yeah, I might be able to pull that off. Working for me might be the safer of the two," he muttered, looking at me fearfully. 

"Good, we'll be back to check on him," I grinned, walking away. 

"You enjoyed that, didn't you?" Garrus chuckled. Thane walked silently on my other side. 

"Yes I did. People like Bailey don't have the balls to be in charge," I spat disgustedly. 

                                                                                ~ooooo~

I lay back on my bed, with a bottle of Jack Daniels as company. Garrus was down in the Main Battery after having avenged his team. He was in much better spirits. Thane was talking with his son when I left him. I told them both to take the next three days off. I planned on going to that Dark Star and seeing if I could pick up some girls. 

Tomorrow, I would be headed into hell - seeing the Council. Oh, joy. I took another swig of my bottle, enjoying the strong burn as it made its way to the pit of my stomach. I'd bought an entire case of this shit; ready to drink myself into oblivion and not return until shore leave was over. 

My doors slid open, and Garrus and Joker walked in. Each had an empty glass in their hand and an expectant look on their face. "If you want some, come get some; though Garrus, if you die on me because of this shit…" I trailed off as my words began slurring together. 

"Don't worry, Shepard. I brought my own stuff," he grinned, filling his cup as Joker grabbed the JD.

"So, what brought the two of you up here?" I asked, the alcohol making it difficult to talk. They both grinned at me. 

"Come on, Shepard, just like old times; the three of us drinking when we came to the Citadel. That doesn't have to change now," Joker grinned. I had to agree that he had a good point.

We drank well into the night; eventually Joker and Garrus headed to their beds. I looked balefully at mine. It looked lonely; not a place where I wanted to sleep. _What the hell did that drell do to me?_ I thought mournfully. 

I headed for the shower, hoping that the water would help me sober up. The pills that Mordin gave me helped some, but they don’t completely kill the buzz. I let the hot water pour over me as I slowly relaxed. I was about to doze off in the shower when strong hands gripped my shoulders. I glanced behind me, not surprised to see Thane there. "You shouldn't be in here," I muttered, grabbing the towel from him and wrapping it around my waist as I turned off the steaming water. We walked over to the couch, and I grabbed another muscle shirt, pulling it on. 

"How come you're up here and not sleeping?" I asked, taking a seat on the couch. 

"I couldn't sleep; there is too much on my mind," he murmured, looking down at his hands as he talked. I was shocked seeing him like this. After what he did this morning and the way he covered for me with Garrus, I owed him. For reasons completely unknown to me, I couldn't kick him out.

I was about to do something that was totally foreign to me - I was about to give him comfort. _But how the fuck do you do that?_ I thought as I watched him. I walked over to him, taking his hand. He looked up at me, shocked. _Yeah no kidding,_ I thought woefully. _I'm beyond shocked at the moment, myself._ "Come on," I murmured, trying to keep all the snide, biting remarks to myself. He rose to his feet gracefully, following me as I led him to the bed. 

"If I fall asleep here, I won't be leaving until morning," Thane said, watching me intently. 

"No shit," I muttered, scowling at him. A smirk creased his mouth and his eyes lightened. "Just don't make a habit of it," I warned him. 

"I wouldn't dream of it," he replied and the way he said those words made me hesitate for a moment before I shrugged it off. For the first time in my life, I gave someone else comfort; holding him close to me. I owed him that much, at least. That what I kept telling myself, so why didn't it quite ring true? His body relaxed as he used my chest as a pillow, our legs avoiding places that would make this moment more than it was. 

**Thane's point of view**

This was a first for me, being comforted. I had always comforted Irikah; always held her when she needed me. When I found out that I was going to die, I had been alone. When I would return home after months or a year away, I would be the one reassuring her, never the other way around. When I told her that I was dying, she had cried late into the night and I held her, taking solace in her presence, After a time, however, distance grew between us. My time away lengthened, so that I only saw her once in a while. 

Now I was being held by the last person I would have guessed would open their arms to me. I knew he felt awkward by the whole situation, but his body soon relaxed, as did mine. His arms encircled me; I could feel the strength in them. There was security there, as well. 

Slowly I dozed off, as did he, and for the first time I felt secure. I knew that I didn't have to watch my back; someone else had it for once. But this wasn't why I originally came up here. I came here for relief; I came here to forget. His body was what I wanted, or so I thought until he held me. I ran my hand down his stomach and under his shirt; he stiffened for a moment before relaxing. I didn't try to move my hand higher. He wasn't that trusting yet. I felt one of his scars, my finger tracing it lightly. He tensed beneath my hand and his hand shot out, snatching my arm from beneath his shirt and holding it still on top of his chest. "Thane, you're pushing it," he growled, his voice barely holding his contained rage. His whole body vibrated with tension. As I lay perfectly still, his muscles once again relaxed beneath me.

We drifted off to sleep in each other arms, content to hold each other for the night.


	10. Chapter 10

The alarm went off, pounding painfully through my skull. I groaned, rubbing my aching head. Thane breathed evenly beside me, his body still. I knew he was awake from the tension in his limbs. Two more days of staying at this place; two more days of living hell. Today would be far worse than any other, as I would be seeing the Council and dealing with their bullshit.  

I started to get up, but Thane’s arm tightened around my waist, holding me in place. "Thane, I need to get up. I'm seeing the Council today," I muttered, trying once again to rise; all to no avail. My discomfort level had reached its peak; it was bad enough that we spent the night holding each other, but now he wanted me to stay in bed with him. There was no way in hell I could allow that. It would be too easy for him to assume we were in a relationship.

"Why do you need to see the Council?" he asked, nuzzling my neck; his voice vibrating against my skin. 

"I need to get them to reinstate my Spectre status and see if there is any way they can help us against the Reapers," I answered, sighing deeply as his teeth scraped along my neck. He cupped his hand around my growing erection, stroking me; I felt his own desire pressed against my leg. _Fuck them! The Council can wait…_

                                                                ~ooooo~

I stood in front of Councilor Anderson; the Council was gone now that I had finished my business with them. Anderson looked like political life was treating him good. "So you seriously think the Collectors are involved?" he asked quietly as we stood on his balcony, gazing out over the Promenade. 

"I don't think, I know. I've faced them once already while trying to save a colony," I snapped, annoyed that he was just as thick headed as the others. 

"I believe you, but you know the Council won't help without proof. You're lucky they reinstated your Spectre status. So what are you going to do now?" he asked tiredly. 

"Find a way through the Omega IV relay and take the fight to the Collectors. If we all survive, I don't know what the next step will be," I shrugged. "However, the crew and ship aren’t ready for that type of battle yet." 

"Well, let me know if there is anything I can do to help," he mumbled. I knew a dismissal when I heard one and headed for the door. "Oh, Shepard, you should know that I've made sure your sister’s apartment wasn’t disturbed. You should probably stop by there and go through her things, as they are thinking of renovating the area." I closed my eyes, my shoulders stiffening at his words. _Fuck, it seems I have no choice but to go there,_ I thought irritably _._

I left the tower and headed for my sister's old apartment; the place I had stayed many times, years ago. It was the same; as though a piece of Sovereign hadn't crashed through, killing her. I walked over to the sitting room, looking at the pictures on the wall. There was one of her academy graduation, and one of the two of us standing by one of the ponds on the Promenade. Then there was the family picture; it showed our parents, my other sister and younger brother. More pictures lined the walls, showing friends and family. She even had one of me all alone. 

My eyes burned as I remembered her laughter; the way we bantered whenever I stayed with her on my days off. She had always been happy, never one to let anything get her down. She was even able to make me smile without coldness. I was able to relax and let down my guard for her. 

The door to her apartment opened; I still held her picture in my hand. "Whoever the fuck you are, you picked the wrong time to come in here," I snarled, waiting for the door to open once again, but it never happened. I turned to see Garrus and Thane standing in the hallway. 

"What are the two of you doing here?" I asked, sighing. 

"I saw you heading this way and knew you were going to Jessy's," Garrus murmured, sadness in his eyes. He had met Jessy a couple of times. They had gotten along for the most part. "I take it you have to get her stuff out of here?" 

"Yeah, I do," I muttered, glancing down at the picture in my hand. "I'm only grabbing a few things and then emptying out my room." 

"We'll help you carry whatever you want to the Normandy," Garrus answered. Thane stood beside him, his expression unreadable. I knew he already had this place memorized. It was his way, being an assassin. He watched us intently, his hands folded behind his back; he appeared relaxed, but I knew better. 

"Garrus, can you grab my clothes out of my room? There's not much there," I asked, turning back to the picture. I started cleaning off the walls, stacking the pictures neatly. Most of them I would send to my parents; there were only a few that I would keep for myself. Among those was the picture of the two of us standing together, my arm around her shoulder as we gazed out over the lake on the Promenade. It had been taken just moments before she decided it would be fun to push me in.

I felt his presence and glanced over my shoulder at him. "You must have loved her very much," he murmured, his voice thick. His face remained impassive and I couldn't read his emotions. 

"Yeah, I did," I muttered, tossing the picture on top of the others. "Wanna give me a hand with the rest?" I asked, not really caring if he did or not. 

He started on the last wall as Garrus came out of my bedroom. "I got everything from your old room. Man, Shepard, you've collected a lot of shit over the years," Garrus muttered, carrying a case in each hand. 

He passed me an empty case for the pictures and any other mementos I wanted to take. I looked around the room, avoiding the place where I had found her body. Blood still stained the carpet, and the memories of her laying there were still fresh. I took a final look around, seeing nothing that I actually wanted to keep; the rest could go to hell for all I cared. Thane grabbed one case, and Garrus grabbed the other two. I walked out the door, leaving this place for the final time. A chapter of my life was now closed, but would never be forgotten. 

The walk to the Normandy was quiet. Thane was more closed off than normal, and Garrus was giving me the silence I needed. Once on board, we all went up to my quarters. "Place them wherever," I muttered, grabbing a bottle of JD from the case by my bed. I didn't bother with a glass; I drank straight from the bottle, drowning out my sorrows. 

"Tael, are you going to be alright?" Garrus asked, concern evident on his face. 

I gave the bottle in my hand a contemplative look. "I would say in about an hour I'll be just fine," I smirked, letting out a half hearted attempt at a chuckle.     

Garrus left the room, but Thane remained behind. I didn't pay attention to him; my focus for the moment was on getting wasted. That was my plan for the next full day. Then we would leave this hellhole and head for Omega. I would go see Aria and fuck her brains out. I was sure that would make everything normal again. 

He walked over to the couch, taking a seat; his fathomless eyes watching me intently. I glared at him, not wanting him here. "What do you want, Thane?" I asked coldly. 

"What did the Council have to say?" he asked, shrugging off his coat. 

"Don't make yourself too comfortable. You're not staying!" I sneered at him. "And the Council doesn't give a fuck, as usual." He tossed his coat off to the side. "What part of ‘you aren’t staying’ didn't you understand, Drell?" 

He leaned back against the sofa, a smirk on his face. I narrowed my eyes and shrugged. Fine, if the fucker wanted to stay, he wasn’t getting any company from me. I went over to the case that held the pictures and took out the one of Jessy and me. 

"Would she want you to drink like this?" he asked softly. 

"She's dead, so who gives a fuck?" I asked snidely, placing the picture gently on my desk. I could feel my eyes starting to burn once again. _Nope, not drunk enough yet to forget._ I chugged down a few gulps, feeling he liquor burn all the way through me. Thane watched me, concern entering his eyes. 

"You know you can leave at anytime?" I asked with a raised brow and a pointed look toward the door. 

"I am not leaving," he murmured, his legs crossed at the knee. One arm was stretched across the back of the couch, the other resting idly on his leg. I had to close my eyes so I didn't give in to the desires raging through my body. Even through this agony, I wanted him. I wanted to use him to forget my pain; to bury myself in a warm, willing body. I knew he would be willing. I wanted to fuck him until we passed out from exhaustion and then continue again until we were well away from this place. But there was no way in hell that I was going to do that. He had gotten under my skin enough; I didn't need his claws in me any deeper than they were already. 

I glanced down at her picture once more and sat at my desk, performing the task I had been dreading. I wrote a quick note to my parents, telling them that I emptied out my room and took the important things from the apartment. I asked where they wanted her things to be sent. Now all I had to do was wait for the reply. 

**Thane's point of view**

I watched him pace the room with the picture clutched in his hand. I knew what it was like to lose someone you loved. I had still loved Irikah, even though we had drifted apart and all we had left was fighting. He stared at the holo image, and I felt his pain. I didn't want to leave; I didn't think he should suffer this pain alone. 

I know Garrus would have been the better for this; he seemed to know this girl. I watched as he drained the bottle and cracked open another and I knew he wasn't going to be walking much longer. He sat on the bed, his body swaying. His eyes were half shut and the bottle hung limply in his hand. I went over to him, taking the bottle away. He mumbled her name and a few other slurred words that I didn’t understand. He passed out shortly after that, but his face wasn't relaxed as it should be. His inner torment contorted it. 

I covered him up; cleaning up with little mess there was, before heading out. The doors closed behind me and I closed my eyes, leaning against the wall, trying to control my own emotions. Jealously had reared its ugly head for a moment when Tael admitted that he loved her. I walked into the elevator, my mind flicking back to the picture. The girl had black, glossy hair, and smooth, dark skin like Tael's. Her large brown eyes were similar to Tael and that’s when it dawned on me. _They were family, not lovers_. 

The doors to Life Support opened, showing my barren room. I tossed my jacket and vest over the chair, laying down on my cot. It was odd; after spending only two nights with him, I was no longer comfortable in this small room. I stared at the ceiling for a moment, letting my body relax. I placed myself into a deep meditative state for the first time since meeting Tael. I recalled everything that had happened; trying to process my feelings, especially for Tael. He was where most of my confusion lay; I didn’t understand why he caused me to react so strongly to him. 

I don't know how long I lay there before the sound of my door opening broke me out of my meditation. I moved off my bed stealthily to see who it was. Tael stood there, his eyes bloodshot. He looked extremely troubled and smelled like a brewery. I waited to see what he wanted; though I knew I could never deny him, no matter what he wished from me. Not after what I learnt about myself through meditation. 

I could see him struggling with himself as he stood there; the alcohol he had consumed earlier had torn through his walls, at least until morning. There would be hell to pay then, I was almost sure of it. If Tael had been sober, he would have never come here willingly. 

He walked over to me, his head bowed. No words were spoken; there wasn't a need. I glanced at my cot and wondered how two grown men were going to fit on it. It was going to make for a very uncomfortable night, but I knew that neither of us wanted to sleep alone. 

I laid down, taking him with me. He curled up against me, his face tucked below my chin. Within moments he was sleeping. I drifted off to sleep moments later. 

                                                                                o~~~~~~~~o

I awoke to find myself sprawled out on a very small bed. Slowly I opened my eyes and realized that I was in Life Support. _How the fuck did I get here?_ I thought groggily. I glanced at the table where Thane usually sat; but the room seemed empty, which was a relief. With a groan, I crawled out of the bed and stumbled out into the hall. 

I was thankful that I didn't have to see the crew that was assembled in the Mess Hall. I made my way straight to the shower, enjoying the heat as it poured over my throbbing head. I'd planned on drinking myself into oblivion again tonight, but with the way I currently felt, there was no fucking way that would be happening.

After a good half-hour under the spray of the shower, my pounding headache disappeared. Unfortunately, I now had a fucking hard on that wouldn't go away. I had the towel tossed over my shoulder and stopped dead when my door opened, allowing Thane to enter with two steaming mugs. 

I detected an herbal scent that reminded me of a forest, and assumed that it was cedar tea. In his other hand, the drell held my salvation - coffee. He walked over to me, passing me the coffee. I shifted, slightly uncomfortable with standing in front of him without a shirt; however, I didn’t want him to know that. Instead I went straight to my closet and dressed quickly. "So, why are you bringing me coffee?" I asked cautiously. There was usually strings attached when someone did something nice for you. 

"After the amount you drank last night, I thought you might want the kick. Also, Gardener said you have a cup every morning when you wake," he shrugged elegantly, taking a seat on the couch. I was going to sit, but that would be too uncomfortable for me at the moment. 

"Hmm, thanks for the coffee, but I need to grab some food," I told him as I headed for the door. I needed to get away from Thane before I did something stupid, like tossing him onto the bed. That thought did nothing to help my body calm down. He moved up behind me; I could feel his nearness and his exotic scent swirled around me. The erection that had slowly been dissipating came back with a vengeance.     

"Are you sure you want to go down there?" he asked, his voice a purr that slithered up my spine. He rested one hand lightly on my lower back, away from the scars, while his other hand held his tea off to the side. I turned quickly, shoving him up against the wall beside my door. My mouth slashed over his, demanding entrance. My mug of coffee tumbled to the ground, and his tea followed suit. He clutched me to him, deepening the kiss. His hands ran under my shirt and across my stomach to my lower back; fingers dipping into my pants. 

I walked him backwards toward the bed, tugging his jacket and vest off while he worked those cursed buckles. Our pants were next, and we tumbled to the bed in a heap of tangled limbs. Usually he had me pinned almost immediately, but this time there was no rush; he explored my exposed skin with his hands and mouth. I felt him slip inside of me and I threw my head back; arching off the bed as we both moaned. Desperate to find some relief, we moved together; our mouths meeting, muffled cries and moans filling the room as we both found our release. I began to roll off to the side so I wasn't crushing him, but he stopped me and held me close. My shirt was drenched with sweat and other bodily fluids. I really didn't feel like lying on that. 

"I need to change," I muttered quietly as I held myself up on one arm. 

"Why don't you just remove it," he asked, stilling beneath me; braced for the anger he thought I would display. I blinked slowly at him, not sure how to answer. He'd seen my chest and never flinched, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. That would be going too far, admitting way too much. Nope, that was simply not happening. 

"No," I answered. There was no anger in my tone, but I left no room for debate. He blinked, letting out the breath that I hadn't realized he was holding and nodded slowly. I moved away from him, stripping off the dirty shirt and grabbing another, along with a towel. Quickly I cleaned myself up, passing it to him. The initial lust was gone and I was sated for now; but I wasn't sure what to do next. I had work to do, but I also wanted to relax. And there he was, lying on my bed, tempting and naked; ready for another round. I raised a brow at him, shocked to see that he was already hard. 

I remembered that once he had ejaculated twice in a row; but our passion at the time had been wild and unstoppable, so it hadn't been too unusual. This was completely different, however. For the first time in my life, I actually _WANTED_ to climb back into bed with someone beside me. He watched me with sharp eyes as I stood there stupidly, thinking instead of acting. I reached my hand out for the towel as an excuse to stay standing. 

I tossed the towel down the chute and shrugged. It wasn't like he was forcing me and there was nothing pressing to do. I lay down beside him, letting out a sigh. "Thane, this can't become a habit," I grumbled; telling the _both_ of us, not just him. I needed to be reminded. 

"Why?" he asked calmly. 

"I don't do relationships. It’s a waste of time and patience. I go from bed to bed; that’s the way I like it," I bit out, waiting for his disgust. 

"And what happens if this is becoming a relationship?" he asked slowly, his words measured. 

"It's not! We spent a couple of nights together, that's all!" I snapped. 

"I see," he answered, and I could hear the amusement in his voice as he said those words. That set me on edge -   _what did he see?_

"Good, I hope you do see," I grumbled, scowling at him. His eyes shone with amusement; it seemed that something about this situation was entertaining him to no end.

"Worry not," he smirked. I narrowed my eyes at him once again, not sure what he meant by that. Cryptic bastard.

"You know if you weren't such a good lay, I would just shoot you and put you out of my misery," I scowled at him. 

A deep vibrating chuckle left him and his face lightened. His eyes shone with laughter and my breath caught in my throat. "I do believe you tried that one already, and lost," he mocked. His amusement was contagious and I couldn't help the grin that came unbidden to my face. 

                                                                                ~oooooooo~

We were finally able to leave the Citadel; there was nothing keeping us there. All of the crew was accounted for and in high spirits. I walked out of the elevator, making my rounds. Samara and Thane sat at one table talking, while Garrus and Tali were at another table. The rest of the ground crew wasn't here yet, but I knew they would be. Lunch would be ready in a few moments and that was when the Mess Hall filled up. 

"Hey, Commander, are you ready to eat?" Gardener asked.

"No, I'll get something later," I muttered, continuing on toward one of the observation rooms. Kasumi sat on her couch, looking out the window dreamily. I wanted to gag; this was the reason I hated coming here, but she was a good person to talk to when you wanted to know what was happening on this ship. She seemed to know everyone’s secrets. 

"Shepard, is there something I can do for you?" she asked with a grin. 

"Heard anything interesting lately?" I asked with shrug, moving to stand by the window. 

"Rumor has it that you and Thane are a couple," she grinned smugly as I whipped around to glare at her. "That's just a rumor, mind you," she added hastily. 

"Anything else?" I asked. 

"Nothing that would interest you. Kelly and Joker have something going on; that’s all I know," she shrugged. I nodded to her, leaving the room. Thane was just heading back to Life Support as I walked down the hall. 

"Shepard, Mordin wishes to speak with you," he smirked. 

"Did he say what it’s about?" I asked, curious as to what would make him smile like that. 

"He has some information for you," he answered, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. He still couldn’t hide the amusement in his eyes. 

"I'll speak with him when I get to the CIC," I told him before walking away. Samara had risen from her table, amusement in her eyes as she looked at me. I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering what she was up to. She glanced over my shoulder and nodded respectfully toward Thane, I assumed. "Problem, Samara?" I asked bitingly. 

"When you have a moment, I wish to speak with you," she murmured. 

"Sure, we can talk now," I sighed, not rolling my eyes until her back was turned. The doors to her room closed behind me and she took a seat on the floor. I remained standing, moving over to the windows. 

"What I'm about to ask of you is hard for me. I'm not one to ask for help, but Thane told me I should talk to you; that you would be willing to help me with my problem. However, he doesn't know the whole story," she said slowly, and I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke. I stayed quiet, keeping my biting remarks to myself. 

"What's the problem?" I asked calmly. 

"When we first met, I told you I was chasing after someone and had you retrieve the name of the ship my quarry used to escape Illium. The criminal I seek is an Ardat-Yakshi. I've had word that she is on Omega and I want to stop her," she stated crisply. 

"Fine, we're heading to Omega, anyway. We should be there in about two weeks," I told her brusquely. 

"There is something else you should know. This Ardat-Yakshi is my daughter," she said firmly. I didn't push her for information. I didn't really want more information. 

"Fine, I'll help you, but I want the assassin on this one. He can sneak around better than anyone else on this ship," I muttered. I wanted him up high with his scope, just in case things didn’t go as planned. 

"If she knows that she has been found, she will run again," Samara muttered, giving me a warning look. 

"Don't worry, she won't know he is there," I told her. I walked to the door and she said nothing as I left. Well, that was a first. I wondered how Thane would take this mission. I was about to kill the woman's daughter or set her up to be killed. I had to smirk; she was asking me to do a few things that I actually enjoyed; hunting a person, and killing them without repercussion. This day was looking up. 

I left her, heading toward the CIC. "Did you agree to help her?" Thane asked. I turned to him, smirking. 

"Yes, I did, and since it was your idea to get her to come to me, you've volunteered to help," I grinned as I turned away, leaving him there.           

                                                                                ~oooooo~

Mordin was bent over his desk, deep in concentration, "I was told you wish to see me," I interrupted him. 

His eyes widened for a moment. "Yes, have information you might find useful," he muttered as he walked over to me. 

"Oh, something to do with the Collectors?" I asked with a devious grin. That would be really good news. 

"No, nothing to do with Collectors; more personal nature. Have information on drell and human sexual relations; positions, erogenous spots, do's and don'ts. Possible side effects, especially hallucinations. Have pills for that; also pills to build immunity to hallucinations," he said rapidly. 

"A little late for this information, Mordin. We've already had sex a few times. And I don't need the pills for hallucinations; my body has already undergone training to withstand many different variables," I said, smirking at the uncomfortable salarian. Without another word, I left. 

Kelly was at her station. "You have new messages, Commander," she stated. Though her voice wasn't as cold as had recently been, there was still a bite to it. 

"I'll take care of that later," I muttered, not bothering to correcting her on her tone of voice. Without another glance in her direction, I walked over to Joker. He and EDI were arguing once again. "So, how long till we are on Omega?" I asked him, leaning against the back of his chair. He looked up for a moment, annoyance evident on his face. 

"Two weeks," he answered. "Is there going to be shore leave there, too?" 

"No, I have a few things to take care of. We'll be docked there for the night, then leaving," I stated coldly. 

"Why are we going to Omega?" Garrus asked, coming up behind me. 

"Samara needs my help there, and I'll be speaking with Aria once again," I grinned. He stared at me, his eyes narrowing angrily. 

"And what does Thane think of you ‘speaking’ with Aria?" he asked bitingly. 

"I don't give a fuck what he thinks," I hissed, taking a step back from Joker and bringing myself closer to Garrus. "Do you have a problem with that, Garrus?" I asked him coldly. 

"Would it matter if I did?" he asked, his voice growing deeper with his anger. 

"No, it wouldn't, so keep your opinion to yourself," I said, shoving passed him. He stumbled back a step, and I could feel his glare on my back. I smirked, not giving a fuck that he was angry. 

I walked back to the elevator, my shoulders tensing. I glanced over my shoulder to see Garrus coming up right behind me. I kept my eyes on him as I walked into the elevator, hitting the panel for my floor. I kept my back to the wall as I watched him intently. "You really could do this to Thane?" he asked quietly. 

"There is nothing between me and Thane," I bit out heatedly. He moved lightning fast; his hand grasped my neck, tossing me against the opposite wall. I blocked the fist coming toward my head. 

"You're a fucking idiot if you believe that!" he spat, his knee connecting to my side. The doors opened and I kicked out with all of my strength. He fell backward through the elevator door, landing with a grunt. I charged him, preparing to finish what he started. He jumped to his feet, shucking off his gloves. Claws glistened in the light; deadly claws. We weren't playing around anymore; the look in his eyes told me that I had pushed him too far. I dodged the first swipe of his claw, jabbing him hard in his stomach; it was one of a turian’s soft spots. He grunted, his eyes narrowing and charged before I could brace myself. I hit the wall solidly, the breath leaving me in a rush. Anger burned through me; Garrus had pushed this too far now. Time to end it. Too bad I was losing a friend in the process. I used my biotics, throwing him across the hall. He hit the door to my quarters hard. 

I charged him, not giving him time to recover. I pummeled him, refusing to give him a chance to defend himself. I grabbed him by his armor, hauling him to his feet, and shoved him roughly against the wall. "You’ve pushed it too far this time, Turian!" I snarled, my face centimeters away from his. 

The doors behind me swished opened, but I ignored whoever it was. Garrus tried to break my hold on him, and I grabbed his fringe, tightly jerking his teeth away from me. He cried out in pain, hissing when I didn't let go. 

A hand grabbed mine, and another settled on my shoulder. "Tael, enough. He's done fighting," Thane said softly. I didn't budge, but I relaxed my stance some; the tension in my shoulder easing beneath his hand.

"You're confined to the Main Battery until otherwise stated. You will be locked out of all controls and someone else will take your place. Now get the fuck out my sight!" I hissed. 

"I hear you, Commander," Garrus said obediently, but the look in his eye was anything but obedient. "Why don't you tell Thane about your plans with Aria?" he snapped cruelly before the elevator doors closed on him. 

The tension in my body came back tenfold. Thane took a step back, watching me intently. I didn't bother looking at him as I entered my quarters with him following behind me. "Is there something I can do for you, Thane?" I asked coldly as I took off my ruined shirt; checking out the bite mark on my shoulder and the claw marks on my stomach. 

"Why were you and Garrus fighting?" he asked, a confused look on his face. 

"A difference of opinion," I muttered. He raised a brow ridge, looking at me in disbelief. 

"I've seen the two of you have differences of opinion many times and it never came to this," he commented, looking at me expectantly. 

"If you want to know so bad, go talk to him!" I snapped, tossing on a clean shirt. Without another word, I exited my room, leaving him standing there. 

**Thane's point of view**

I watched him walk away; it had been a good week since I had seen him behave this way. I thought he had been changing, but I was obviously wrong. The cold shoulder he gave me didn’t bother me, nor did his distance. It was expected of him. But what did bother me was the fight I had just witnessed. They were both out for blood, or death. 

I knew he and Garrus were good friends. I knew they were close; closer than Tael and I would ever be. For a time, I suspected that there was something more going on between the two of them. I'm not sure what it was that changed my mind about that, but I now knew that wasn’t the case. 

I made my way to the Main Battery. Garrus sat on his cot, his head in his hands. He glanced up when he saw me. "Thane," he nodded in greeting. With a sigh he leaned back against the wall. He looked as if someone had destroyed his world. 

"What happened?" I asked quietly as I took a seat on the cot with him. 

"He didn't tell you?" Garrus asked. I smiled at him; amused that he would even suggest that. "No, he wouldn't…." he trailed off. "Look, I don't know if I should be the one telling you this." 

"Tael won't say a word," I told him; we both knew what he was like. "You know that as well as I do." 

"Thane, why are you with him? You know he doesn't do relationships," he asked, looking at me curiously. _Why?_ That was a good question and I didn’t have an answer. All I knew was that for those few days at the Citadel, Tael wasn't the same person. I knew there was more to him that what he showed on the surface.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. It was true; Tael even said himself that he didn’t do relationships. Why would he warn me when he could have pushed me to the side, as he had so many others. Why the warning? It made no sense; unless he had feelings for me, as well, and needed to remind _himself_. 

"Thane, he will hurt you," Garrus stated harshly. "Trust me, I know." His eyes closed and he shook his head sadly. 

"We will have to see," I muttered, rising from the bed. "I'll speak with you later." I glanced at him before leaving, his words ringing in my mind. 

Teal was sitting in the Mess Hall with a mug of coffee in his hands. He glanced up as I took a seat across from him. "How long are you going to have him confined?" I asked. 

"I don't know," he answered quietly. I looked at him, shocked that he wasn't harsher in his answer. 

"Why did he attack you?" I asked him quietly. He glanced up, meeting my eyes. There was a determination in them that I didn't understand. 

"He doesn't agree with something I have planned," he answered obliquely. I didn’t bother pushing for the information; it would be useless. 

I gave him a final glance before leaving him to his thoughts. There was no use sitting there trying to make him talk, even though he wasn’t in an argumentative mood. He would speak when he was ready, and not one moment sooner…. 


	11. Chapter 11

For the rest of the journey I’d ignored everyone. Garrus was still confined to the Main Battery and Thane was spending his days elsewhere; usually Samara’s quarters. I forced myself to keep my calm and ignore the smiles I witnessed whenever he left her room. 

If I wasn’t in my quarters, I was either on the CIC deck or in the practice room, where I could work out my frustrations. While using the practice room, some of the crew would come to watch or would spar with me. 

I tried once to speak to Tali, but that was a lost cause. She wouldn’t even say two words to me since the incident with Garrus. I glanced toward the Main Battery; with a heavy sigh, I headed that way. The light on the door was red, as ordered. “EDI, unlock the door,” I ordered tiredly. 

“Doors unlocked, Commander,” she said before logging out. The doors opened in front of me, showing a very dark room. 

An officer that I barely recognized stood there, working on the canons. “Leave!” I commanded. He flicked a glance at Garrus before scurrying out of the room. I turned to the turian; he looked like hell. I don’t ever remember seeing him this bad. “I would ask how you are holding up, but from the looks of you, I would say you’re half dead,” I stated bluntly. 

I moved further into the room. He never raised his eyes to look at me. His face rested in his hands, and his shoulders were slumped. “Why did you attack?” I asked quietly. 

Slowly he raised his face to meet my gaze. What I saw in his eyes worried me and left me feeling rather uneasy. “What do you want me to say, Shepard? Anything I tell you will only place me in here longer,” he bit out. 

“No it won’t. I’m ending your punishment, but not until I have honest answers,” I told him firmly. “Now I’m asking again - why did you attack?” 

He rose to his full height, his eyes blazing with anger as he moved close to me. “I couldn’t stand seeing you toss someone to the side that has feelings for you. You threw Thane away like garbage; he deserves better than that!” he spat, vibrating with pent up anger. 

“You don’t have to worry about me tossing him aside. He’s already found someone new,” I bit out, barely containing my rage. The thought of someone else running their hands over his body made me see red. The thought of him finding pleasure with someone else… well, it wasn’t something I wanted to think about. 

“So, for the first time in your life, the ‘Great Heartbreaker’, Commander Tael Shepard, actually found someone that got under his skin and gets set aside,” Garrus chortled. The look in his eyes told me he didn’t care what the repercussions of his statements were. “So tell me, Shepard, how does it feel to finally have the tables turned on you?” he mocked. This was the first time in ages that Garrus stood up to me without fear. If he would have stayed like this, then it would have been him who got under my skin. 

I don’t know why it changed, but sometime after our night with the asari, he started backing off instead of confronting me. Now he was back to how it should be. “The irony of it isn’t lost on me,” I muttered, treating him how I used to before I died; before he started giving in. 

He looked shocked for a moment. “So you admit it. He got under your skin,” he muttered. 

“Why do you think I was going to see Aria?” I asked bitingly. 

“Shepard, why do you hate commitment?” he asked softly, a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

“What’s the point of it? You care for a person and you give them the power to break you,” I told him bluntly. “Anyway, you are no long under confinement. You can you have access to the canons once again, but grab yourself a shower and some food first,” I muttered, wrinkling my nose. 

I left him to his new found freedom while I grabbed a quick bite, hoping to have a table alone before the lunch rush came in. Gardener passed me my plate without a word, which was normal now. Not many of the crew was currently speaking to me, which was to my benefit. 

Garrus entered the room, glancing around for a place to eat. I ignored him as he moved in my direction. He took a seat across from me; no words passed between us as we ate. I had just finished eating when two others joined us. Thane sat next to Garrus, a look of concern on his face as he glanced at the turian. Samara took a seat beside me, not saying a word. 

I kept my mouth shut as they started eating. Thane turned his attention toward me, but I didn’t give him a chance to talk. I left the three of them there and headed back to the CIC. 

                                                                                ~ooooo~

“Hey, Commander, we’ll be at Omega in two hours,” Joker said before I could even ask the question. 

“Good, inform me when we dock,” I ordered. I headed for my quarters now that my conscience wasn’t bothering me anymore. I sat back in my office chair with a contented sigh, a data pad in my hand. “EDI, inform Thane he won’t be needed for the Omega mission,” I commanded. 

A moment of silence followed my order, and then her terminal blinked on. “He’s been informed, Commander,” she responded. 

“Good. Lock my door; I don’t wish to be interrupted by anyone other than Joker. And I’ll only accept his call if he is informing that we’ve arrived at Omega!” I bit out sharply. 

“Understood, Commander,” she replied, the locks on my door engaging.

I glanced back down at the pad Miranda had left for me via Kelly. It was the data on the status of the crew and ship. So far everything was looking good. It was only a matter of time before we went through the Omega IV relay to go after the Collectors. I had to make sure this crew was working together. If they weren’t, then we would have problems. Something told me I would need everyone’s abilities on this mission. Wandering minds could jeopardize our success, so meticulous planning was required.

**Thane’s point of view**

I watched him walk away, not sure what caused this bout of anger. Garrus sat there smirking, very close to laughing. Samara looked worried. I had been going to her for pointers on how to help Tael control his anger. I wanted to help him work through his past, but she had just informed me that she wouldn’t be able to help. He would have to open up to someone for that to happen. So now it looked like I would have to turn to Garrus; he was Tael’s closest friend. 

“So, I take it that you and Tael are talking once again,” I said and gave him a small smile. It was a good start that Tael finally released him from his confinement.

“Yes, he let me out not long ago,” he smirked, his gaze flicking between Samara and I. 

“Is something wrong?” I asked coolly, my eyes narrowing as his grin widened. 

“Nope, I’m just glad that you finally did what I suggested,” he shrugged, amusement lighting his eyes. 

I was about to question what he meant, but we’d only had one discussion where he gave me advice. That was when he warned me about Tael; telling me to leave him before I got hurt. I glanced at him confused; wondering how he had gotten the idea that I had given up on Tael. He saw the expression on my face and shook his head at me. “If you are still trying to change Tael, then you made a fatal error,” he murmured.

I opened my mouth to ask him what he meant, but EDI’s voice cut me off. “Mister Krios, Commander Shepard wishes me to inform you that he no longer needs you for the Omega mission,” she said. I blinked slowly, letting her words register. Garrus was saying something, but I wasn’t paying attention. I focused on the conversations around me and my error was suddenly clear. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh at my own stupidity. The crew and probably even Tael had jumped to the wrong conclusion regarding my visits with Samara. I had been so focused on finding a solution that I had been ignoring Tael. 

I shut out the background noise and turned my attention back to Garrus. His brow ridge was raised and I could see the question in his eyes. “I think you might be right,” I murmured, not sure how to correct my mistake. “I need to meditate,” I muttered, leaving he and Samara at the table. 

I had only begun to drift into a deep meditation when my door opened, disturbing me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Garrus walking over to the table. I didn’t think he would be able to help with the way things were; I had erred and needed to find a way to rectify it. 

“Thane, if you’re thinking about giving up - don’t,” he said mildly as he leaned back in the chair. 

“I’m not sure if there is a choice in the matter right now,” I muttered sadly. 

“Actually you might have done yourself a favor, believe it or not,” he chuckled. I could see that he knew something I didn’t. I just wished he would come right out and say it. His face sobered. “What do you want from Tael?” he asked seriously. 

“To find peace,” I answered softly. 

“So, that is what this is all about? To find peace? You didn’t actually want to be with him; you were just trying to help him find peace?” Garrus asked mockingly. 

I glared at him; he knew better than to ask me these questions. “No, that wasn’t all it was,” I answered softly, keeping my calm. I watched the turian in front of me, waiting to see what he was going to do. He chuckled and a malicious light that put me on edge entered his eyes. 

“If that is so, then I think there are some things you should know,” he said conspiratorially.

I listened intently to what Garrus had to say, though some of it worried me. Aria was a concern, but the reasoning behind it made me raise my brow ridge; a smirk playing along my mouth. He sat there for an hour, telling me more about Shepard that I didn’t know. 

**Shepard’s point of view**

I waited at the airlocks for Samara. I wasn’t sure how we were going to do this mission. From what she told me about her daughter, I wasn’t sure if I was the right person to do this job. Yes, it piqued my interest, but I still valued my life and I knew this bitch could take it in a heartbeat. 

“Shepard, are you ready?” Samara asked, her voice breaking through my thoughts. My eyes narrowed when I saw Thane standing with her, amusement in his eyes.

“Didn’t EDI inform you that you weren’t needed for this mission?” I asked coldly. 

“I was informed, but I think it would be a mistake not to take a sniper with you; someone who could hide in plain sight,” he answered, his mouth twitching in amusement as I glared at him. 

“This isn’t a mission for guns,” Samara stated. I smirked at him as his eyes narrowed. I nodded for Samara to lead the way off of the ship. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooo~

It hadn’t taken long to get into Morinth’s room. Catching her attention had been too easy, but keeping that attention had been harder. In the end it didn’t matter; I had the information I needed, even though a few of the things that she enjoyed I couldn’t stand. 

Samara’s warnings concerning her daughter rang in my ears. She had explained in detail what would happen if I slept with her, so I didn’t even try seducing her. Now I was alone with her. She was sitting on the couch, looking at me suggestively and I was wondering when the hell Samara would arrive. She was supposed to be here by now. Fuck! I hated this. 

I knew from everything I learnt while doing the investigation that I would get my ass handed to me if I tried to take her on alone. Taking a fortifying breath, I walked over to her; sitting well away from her. That didn’t stop her from coming to me, desire burning bright in her eyes. The temptation to take her was great; almost too great. I stared into her eyes and felt myself slipping. 

I heard her voice whispering through my mind. I understood her words and wanted to yell ‘no’, but that wasn’t what came out. I mimicked her words, saying what she wanted me to say. I wanted to feel anger, but her voice was coaxing and soft. 

I leaned into her, ready to meet her mouth with my own. Sharp pain sliced through my brain, breaking the spell she had on me. My anger rose, burning through me. I wanted that bitch dead. She took control away from me and used me like a puppet. I wanted her death to take hours. 

A yell broke me from my desire fogged brain. Morinth and Samara were fighting. The younger asari was winning because Samara was still holding herself back. _Idiot woman,_ I thought disgustedly. 

I moved quickly, distracting Morinth. Samara took the opportunity that I gave her. It didn’t take long before her daughter lay dead at her feet. I felt no remorse for what happened as I looked at the dead woman, but Samara was taking it hard. Her body language said it all. 

“When you’re done, you should head back to the Normandy. I’ll be there in a few hours. I have some business to take care of here,” I told her. 

“I am ready to leave,” she murmured, slowly regaining her composure. 

We left the apartment in silence. “Shepard, about Thane and I…” she began, but trailed off as I gave her a sharp look. 

“I don’t give a fuck what is going on between you and the assassin,” I snapped coldly. She blinked slowly and nodded her head. 

“I’ll meet you back on board the Normandy,” she said before walking off toward the docking bay. 

I walked into Afterlife, the beat of the music thrumming through me. I ignored the gyrating bodies, and the inviting looks that some of the women sent my way. I had one person I wanted to see; I wasn’t about to be waylaid from that. 

Aria was in her same spot, overlooking the bar; she smirked as she saw me approach. “I take it you took care of the problem?” she asked, giving me the calculating look that never leaves her face. 

“She’s dead,” I smirked blatantly, letting my eyes roam over her body; making my intentions known. She rose to her feet slowly, her eyes answering for her. I followed her to the back rooms where we had gone on my first ‘visit’ to her quarters. 

“Maybe this time I’ll get you out of your clothes,” she murmured, her voice a purr that sent shivers down my body. I pulled her into my arms as soon as the doors shut, kissing her savagely. She purred in my mouth, driving me on. Forcefully I shoved any thoughts of Thane out of my head. 

She didn’t both trying to undress me; her hands went to her outfit, stripping it from her lithe body.  My hands and mouth roamed over her body as she bared it. I buried my mouth in her center, lifting her so that she leaned back against the wall and I held her weight in my hands. My member twitched, but still lay soft within my pants. 

Savagely I ate her, not giving her a chance to recover from the first orgasm that ripped through her. She whimpered, grabbing my hair. I nipped her nub then sucked on it hard. She found her release once more and I was still soft. I growled in frustration that I wasn’t getting off on this when usually I would be ramming myself inside of her already. I hated it; that I was having trouble doing what I enjoyed most - fucking a girl and then leaving them. 

A picture of Thane entered my mind and I was instantly hard. I tossed her to the bed, releasing my now iron hard member and entered her savagely. At the moment I didn’t care if it hurt. I needed that man out of my head; I wanted my body back. 

I kept ramming into her as sweat beaded my chest and back. I didn’t stop, even though my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest from exertion. Time passed and still I wasn’t close to release. Horrified, I realized that I was about to go soft once again. I couldn’t let that happen; it would be too humiliating. With a savage growl I thrust into her harder, trying to fight the images of Thane that entered my mind. 

The damned drell wouldn’t let me be, however. I remembered him arching in pleasure as I entered him. His mouth parting as he took my length between those wet lips. My shout reverberated off the walls as I found my release. The intensity of it rushed through my body painfully. I collapsed forward, catching myself with my hands; my breathing ragged as I slowly regained motion of my spent body. 

I looked at the woman beneath me. Aria looked sated and very well used. Disgust rushed through me and I felt like puking. Not because of her, but at what I had done. I didn’t say a word as I fixed myself up; I couldn’t even look at her. 

“The last time I saw a man that desperate was when he was trying to forget someone he loves. So Commander, who has finally gotten to you?” she asked, laughing as I scowled at her. 

“Shut the fuck up,” I hissed. 

“You’ll soon learn that your love will be the only one for you,” she laughed harder. “It’s always a joy to have you here, Shepard; never a dull moment.” I glowered at her before storming out of her room. 

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

I ignored everyone as I walked onto the CIC deck. Joker took one look at me and kept his mouth shut. I took the elevator to the Mess Hall to grab some food and bring it back to my room. Garrus and Samara were at a table, and they looked up as I walked over to Gardener. Their eyes widened, but no one said anything. 

I walked into my quarters, happy that I would finally have some privacy. Or so I thought as I raised my eyes after the doors closed. Thane sat on my couch. _Fucking son of a bitch!_ I thought, the words hissing through my mind. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked belligerently.

“We need to talk,” he answered calmly, staying seated as I walked into the room.

**To be continued….**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

Tael glared at Thane murderously as he moved further into the room. Thane watched him passively, wondering how to act upon what he had learned. He knew this confrontation was well overdue. Garrus’ information had been invaluable as he planned what he would say. 

“Thane, now isn’t the time,” Tael stated harshly, still fuming over what transpired with Aria. It annoyed him how much this drell had taken from him. He no longer enjoyed being with a woman. It had literally made his sick. The fact that he had come so close to humiliating himself was the worst of all.

“No, I think this is the time,” Thane said softly, with a firm authority that irked Tael to no end. “So, how is the Mistress of Omega; Aria, I believe her name is?” he asked slyly, giving Tael a taunting smirk. 

“Aria is just fine now,” he answered spitefully. He smiled cruelly, feeling more in control of the situation. Maybe, just maybe he would be able to get this drell out of his life if he angered him enough. Surely then everything would go back to normal. 

“Hmm, I’m sure she is. I know firsthand how pleasant your performance in bed can be. Though it is odd that you don’t seem satisfied, yourself,” Thane murmured with a knowing smile as he rose from the couch. 

Tael stood there glaring at him, not refuting his claim. “What do you want, Thane? If all you came to do is rub my face in it, then consider yourself successful and get out!” Tael stated coldly, his eyes narrowing into lethal slits with a clear warning of harm if Thane moved any closer. 

“That is not why I came,” Thane answered softly, his eyes taking on an understanding look that almost crumbled Tael’s defenses. Tael closed his eyes, trying to regain his composure. He hoped it would help him to fight his desire for the drell. He didn’t understand Thane’s reason for coming to him. Tael knew that he was with Samara now, so why would he be here? It was torture, pure torture having him in this room and knowing he couldn’t touch him. 

“Then why are you here?” Tael asked. He walked over to his bed, stripping out of his armor. He didn’t want to have to look at the assassin at this moment. Not when it was so easy for him to dismantle his defenses. Tael knew he shouldn’t have allowed anything to happen, knew he should have never touched the assassin. If he had controlled his desires, he would never have been in this position of… he gave a pained expression when he finally found the word for what he felt… 

Need. 

Need for his closeness; for his quick wit and biting words. It was a need that always burned through Tael, every time he saw the assassin or heard him. Tael closed his eyes, trying to gather his wits and not allow his emotions to control him. He thought he almost succeeded until a strong hand was placed on his shoulder. 

Tael stiffened under the touch; forcing himself not to turn or show any reaction at all. No, he wouldn’t do that - not now, probably not ever; and _definitely_ not while Thane was with Samara. “I made a mistake. I gave you the impression that Samara and I are together, when we are not. I went to her for aid. Aid to help you find peace,” Thane said quietly. Tael took a deep, even breath as something in his chest loosened for the first time in several days. 

Tael fought his emotions; he was losing the battle and knew it. “Thane, could you please leave?” he asked softly, not realizing that his desperation showed in his voice. Thane closed his eyes, not sure if it was wise to leave. If he left, there was a possibility that any headway he made would be moot. Tael would once again put his walls securely in place. 

Thane thought about denying him his request, but the desperation he heard in Tael’s voice stopped him. Without a word he left the room, sadness weighing heavily on him. He walked silently to Life Support,  unsure what his next step should be. He was almost positive that he had lost any chance of a relationship with the Commander. A part of him wondered why he was putting himself through this torture, but he already knew the answer. 

He shivered as the cool air of the Life Support room hit his skin, taking a seat in his usual spot with his back to the door. Before joining the crew of the Normandy, he would never have left his back exposed. Here on the ship he could relax and drop his guard. He didn’t always have to watch his back, as there were others around to protect him. Each crew member guarded those around them; slowly they were forming a bond. Every major race was on this ship, living in harmony. There were a few exceptions, but that was to be expected. Even though Tael was cold, almost cruel at times until recently, he made sure that the ship ran smoothly. 

Tael didn’t leave his spot for a while as he stared at the bare white wall. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what to do. One part, a part that rarely got to show itself, told him to go to the drell and tell him the truth. Then the voice that Tael always listened to was silent. Slowly he stripped out of the rest of armor, chucking his underclothes down the chute. He left the remainder of his armor piled neatly to be cleaned. This was something he always did on his own. He didn’t trust Jacob enough to have him working on his armor. 

He stepped into the shower, turning it to his usual temperature. Steam filled the bathroom and for a moment, panic settled over him; then he remembered that Thane wasn’t with him. He leaned against the wall, one arm braced over his head as the hot water cascaded down his back. 

As the water eased his aching muscles, Tael reflected on a conversation he had with Liara on the night after he bedded her. “It takes a real man to realize his feelings, and an even bigger man to say them out loud,” she told him. He remembered those words clearly now; though at the time he had scoffed, calling her naïve. A small chuckle escaped him as he thought of this. In the security of his bathroom, he had to admit that she had been right. 

With a smirk still on his face, he turned off the water; wrapping a towel around his body. Not knowing what he was going to do or if he could even do it, he started dressing. Suddenly he hesitated, fighting feelings he never felt before – nervousness and fear. Those were the two feelings he hated the most. He despised the sense of weakness they brought to him. Slowly he sat on the bed, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Thane had really screwed with his mind, making him doubt whether his next move was the correct one. Tael was never a man to second-guess himself; at least until now. 

With a sigh he dressed, trying to force himself to remain calm. He had to do this; his world was turning upside down and he needed to regain his focus. The drell had broken through most of his barriers, and it was time to come clean.

~oooooooo~

Thane was deep in thought, his shoulders stiff when the doors opened behind him. He didn’t move from where he was; he knew who it was before the person entered. The light footsteps crossed the room, stopping behind him. His first instinct was to turn and see if Tael was a danger to him at the moment, but Thane knew he wasn’t. He waited to see what the man would do. 

Tael placed a hand on his shoulder, stepping close behind him. Thane’s leather jacket brushed against his pants. He stood there silently, enjoying the feel of the assassin beneath his hand. The movement of firm muscles as he tensed and then relaxed. Thane held absolutely still, trying to contain his hope that he wouldn’t lose Tael. 

Tael leaned over, resting his forehead against one of the ridges on top of his head. Thane started purring, a contented sound that Tael enjoyed. Tael sighed, bracing himself for what he was about to say. He was about to break all of his rules willingly for this one man. “I don’t know what I am going to do with you. You won’t leave my mind. I can’t be with anyone else unless I am imagining you,” Tael said softly. _And if Liara is wrong about this, I am going to kill her slowly,_ Tael thought as he waited for a reaction from Thane. He hoped the man didn’t start laughing or he would have to kill him. 

The silence stretched out for what seemed like forever, though in reality it was only a few seconds. Thane slowly smiled. He knew what it had cost Tael to confess his feelings; it went completely against his nature. If it had been anyone else, he would have chuckled; but the tension in Tael’s voice stopped him. Slowly he turned in his chair to face him.  Tael moved back a step, giving the man room to move. He shouldn’t have bothered; Thane quickly closed the space between them. He knew this was a major step for the Commander. He didn’t expect anything else from him; he was shocked that he had received as much as he had. He wondered if Tael realized what his words meant; if not, he wasn’t going to educate him for a while. He didn’t think Tael was ready for that step. 

Tael stood there stiffly, half expecting Thane to laugh at him. Thane leaned into him, kissing him softly. Tael gasped when their lips met; he moaned as Thane agilely slipped his tongue between his lips. Thane closed the last few inches between them, one hand lacing through his thick hair; his other hand running along Teal’s side over his shirt. He made sure he stayed away from his scars. 

Tael held him securely, deepening the kiss. Now it was Thane’s turn to moan. Thane’s hand clenched, his short nails digging into Tael’s scalp, while his other hand tightened against his vest. Tael caught his tongue between his teeth, sucking on it; releasing and then running the tip of his tongue along the roof of the drell’s mouth. Thane purred, relaxing into Tael’s arms.

They broke apart, their foreheads pressed together as their breath mixed. Tael lightly ran his hand along the exposed skin of Thane’s chest. Thane sighed, his hand moving up to cup Tael’s cheek; his thumb lightly brushing against the Commander’s moist lips. Their eyes locked as Thane gently explored Tael’s face, his fingers grazing over the faint scars that glowed red when he was angered. Tael didn’t stop him; his own hand moved upward along Thane’s throat, being careful not to touch the frills. He could feel the vibration from Thane’s purring. Tael leaned close, kissing Thane lightly, tenderly; something he wasn’t used to doing. It was the only way he could think to convey his emotions at the present moment. 

Thane removed his hands from Tael, stepping back and undoing the buckles and clasps of his coat and vest. He tossed them into the far corner of the room, well out of their way. Tael ran his hands down his chest, his fingers brushing lightly along the frills near his hips. Thane groaned, a shiver racing through his body. Thane’s hands wandered beneath Tael’s vest, avoiding any of the scars that might ruin the moment. 

Tael watched the assassin closely. Taking a deep breath, he removed Thane’s hand. Thane felt disappointment wash over him; he wasn’t sure what he had done to set Tael off. He couldn’t hide the shock he felt when Tael placed one of his hands on his vest, near the zipper. The assassin stilled; he wasn’t sure if he was reading the message right. He barely breathed as Tael took one of his hands and pulled the zipper partially down. Slowly Tael’s hands left, allowing Thane to pull the zipper down the rest of the way if he chose. 

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable,” Thane said softly, one hand running lightly over the skin that already showed. Tael bit back a groan as Thane’s hand explored skin that had been untouched for many years.  A shudder passed through Tael’s body as Thane leaned in, kissing him softly as Tael finished unzipping the intrusive garment. 

Thane pushed his vest off, running his hand along Tael’s chest, trying to avoid the scars. Unfortunately, they were too numerous to miss. He tested his boundaries; tracing one of the scars, looking at Tael questioningly. Tael looked down at the scar. “Saren’s claws the first time I met him on Virmire,” he answered, his voice shaking. 

Thane moved to the scars on his stomach. “The last battle with Saren. Sovereign possessed him and his claws raked up both sides of my body,” he gasped. 

“God, Thane, no more,” he groaned, his desire rising rapidly. “You can explore them later.” Thane gave a smug smile as his hands moved with more intent against the muscles he could feel quivering beneath his touch. Tael’s head was thrown back in pleasure, his hands gripping Thane’s shoulders; short nails biting into scaled skin. 

Thane moaned with pleasure as he tasted Tael’s skin for the first time, his mouth travelling slowly down his body. Tael watched as the assassin dropped to his knees, his breath catching in his throat. Thane inched the zipper of his pants down agonizingly slow; his penetrating gaze holding Tael as his mouth slowly enveloped his shaft.

Tael couldn’t tear his gaze away from the drell as his shaft disappeared between his lips. Involuntarily, Tael’s hand tightened against the back of Thane’s head. He tried to get the drell to take him deeper, but his lover refused. Tael groaned in frustration as Thane took him slowly. Thane purred and Tael hands tightened on his head, feeling pleasure shoot through him as the pressure in his loins began to build. 

Thane watched him, happiness washing over him as he saw Tael with his barriers down. He purred his contentment as a shiver raced over Tael. “God, Thane, don’t do that unless you want me to spill now,” Tael groaned. 

If Thane could have smirked at the moment he would have.  Tael yanked his head from him, his eyes wild with desire as he stared down at him. Tael dropped down onto his knees, eye level with the assassin, pulling him close. A rough, passionate kissed turned slow and searching as the lovers caressed each other. Thane lay back onto the cold floor, and his breath escaped in a hiss. 

Tael leaned over him, keeping their bodies apart. “I’m not taking you on the floor,” he whispered heatedly against Thane’s mouth. He had seen him flinch and knew the drell would be uncomfortable. That wasn’t what he wanted; not now. They weren’t simply seeking relief. This was more; he made it more when he allowed the drell to see past his shields. 

Tael rose to his feet, holding out a hand to Thane. Thane took the hand and Tael pulled him up into his arms. Thane captured his mouth, one hand around his back. They moved toward the assassin’s bed and Thane laid down, bringing Tael with him. 

They locked eyes, neither of them moving; both men reveling in the feel of their bare skin, no barriers separating them. Thane lightly ran his hand down Tael’s back, marveling at the fact that he was able to do this without repercussions, without worry. He moaned as he felt Tael slowly penetrating him.

Tael moved slowly until his hips met the soft flesh of Thane’s rear. He wanted to savor this moment, his gaze never leaving Thane’s. He withdrew slowly, bringing small sounds from the drell, then slammed back into him. Thane arched his back sharply. Tael reveled in the pleasure on his face; his muscular body bending beneath him, his dark, unfocused eyes clouded over with pleasure. 

He rose up onto his knees, moving the drell’s legs over his shoulders. This was a moment of vulnerability for Tael. He knew Thane could snap his neck in a second if he desired to. This was a test of trust for him, allowing a person to hold this position. He watched, his breath hitching as he saw Thane find his pleasure. Seconds later he found his own, the look on Thane’s face pushing him over the edge. 

Thane’s legs slid off to the side, settling onto the bed as Tael leaned forward, his head resting on his shoulder. Thane held him close, his purrs the true sign of his happiness. 

                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Thane sat at his table the next morning, a small smile on his face as he looked around his room. There wasn’t a spot that didn’t hold a memory of the previous night. His eyes clouded over when he looked at the floor where they had ended up during the night. His chest had hurt and he couldn’t catch his breath. When he did, it was so painful that he couldn’t stop coughing. He tried to force his body to relax, but it wouldn’t; the pain overrode his commands. 

Tael moved up behind him, wrapping his arms around his chest. He started to tell Tael that it wouldn’t help, but the Commander had his own plan. Tael moved his arms so that Thane had no choice but to raise his own arms slightly. With Tael’s arms hooked under his and his hands running lightly along his skin, Thane was finally able to take his first deep breath. However, he still wasn’t relaxed enough. Tael forced him to lean back against him, and slowly ran his hand across his forehead and the ridges on the top of his head. Thane relaxed, more than he ever had after one of his spells. 

Thane broke himself out of his memories. For the first time since the Kepral diagnosis, he was afraid. For so long he had accepted that he was dying, that his time was coming soon. Now he didn’t want to die. There was too much to live for. 

Tael stood at the large holographic map, plotting the course for their next several stops. It seemed everyone wanted his help, thanks to Thane. He was the one who told the entire crew to talk to him. _Damn that bastard!_ he thought with a smirk. He found he wasn’t actually upset with this new turn of events, which was odd for him. 

“Shepard, we’ve arrived at Tuchanka,” Joker announced. Tael sighed, wondering how he was going to tell Thane that he wasn’t going on the mission with him. He knew it wasn’t going to go over well. He debated staying onboard, but his own pride wouldn’t allow it. 

With a small shake of his head, he headed to Thane’s quarters. He found the drell sitting at the table in only his leather pants. Tael leaned against the wall, his arms loosely crossed over his chest. His eyes slowly roamed over the drell. Thane could feel the Commander’s eyes on him and smirked. He turned in his seat, slowly meeting Tael’s gaze. 

“See something you want?” Thane purred, seeing the open desire in the man’s eyes. 

“Yes, but unfortunately that will have to wait. I came here to tell you that you’re staying onboard today,” Shepard stated brusquely. 

“Tael, if it’s because of what happened last night….” he began, trailing off at the look on his lover’s face. 

“You’re damn right it’s about last night. You’re on rest for the next couple of days,” Shepard ordered, his voice turning cold once more as worry raced through him. 

“Resting won’t make a difference. Exercise helps, but sitting idle is actually a hindrance,” Thane told him quietly. He didn’t want Shepard to be angry with him, but it appeared as though he had no choice. 

“I don’t care. You are not going on this mission,” Shepard snapped, his voice cold and deadly. The thought of last night, of Thane struggling to breathe, brought fear to him. He hated to admit it, but he feared for this assassin. The reality that Thane was dying struck him harder than he imagined it would. He didn’t want to admit this after revealing so much the night before, but he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him. 

“Shepard, be reasonable,” Thane snapped, anger edging his own voice. He didn’t want to be coddled. 

Shepard threw his head back and laughed heartily. “Thane, from your own mouth and Garrus’, I am the least reasonable person in this entire universe; so don’t even bother asking.” Shepard looked at him with true amusement. “ _If_ we need backup, I’ll contact you,” Shepard relented. He knew what it was like to be left behind. “ _But_ , you have to see Chakwas and she has to give the okay,” he smirked. 

A low rumble escaped Thane; anger and frustration rushed through him at the fact that Tael was being so difficult. He knew he couldn’t push or Tael would stop him permanently. He wouldn’t put it past him. 

“So, if I am ‘back up’, as you call it, how do you expect me to get down onto the planet when the shuttle is gone?” Thane asked, keeping all emotion from his voice. 

“You’re coming, but you’re waiting in the shuttle,” Shepard bit out. Thane’s emotionless voice was affecting him more than usual. He glared at the drell. “Be ready in an hour,” he stated coldly, exiting the room without a backward glance. 

Garrus saw him as he stormed into the Mess Hall. He recognized the look on his Commander’s face. It was fear; something scared Tael enough to piss him off. Garrus shook his head and walked into Life Support. He was going to see this relationship work, even if he had to walk the two of them through it himself. When Tael was around Thane and they were getting along, he was the man Garrus remembered; not the ass Cerberus had created. Ever since their reunion, the turian noticed that Tael had been colder, easier to anger. Well, Garrus had discovered the solution to the problem and he resided in Life Support. 

“Garrus, now is not the time,” Thane bit out as he recognized the turian’s steps. 

“Oh, I think now is the time,” Garrus grinned, taking a seat across from the drell. 

Thane took a deep breath, trying to calm his anger. “What can I do for you?” he asked. 

“It’s more like what can I do for you, Thane?” Garrus offered with a grin.

“Garrus, I am not in the mood for games; either come out and say what you want or leave,” Thane muttered, trying not to allow his anger free. 

“You know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Tael scared. I wonder what would scare him?” Garrus asked thoughtfully. He watched Thane carefully; the drell’s eyes widened as he heard Garrus’ words. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Tael walked into Mordin’s office, waiting to speak until the doctor was finished with his latest experiment. “Yes, Shepard?” Mordin asked without looking up. 

“When we get back from saving your student, I want you to try and find a cure for Thane,” Shepard said softly.

“That is no easy task. Would need to do many experiments. Will slow down my research into the Collectors,” Mordin muttered. 

“Yes, it will…” Shepard trailed off. He knew it was useless to argue with Mordin. The Collectors were the most important thing right now. Tael didn’t say a word as he left the room. 

Mordin watched him go; he knew why he asked. The salarian wasn’t heartless, just practical. He pulled up the data he had on Thane, reading over all the information on Kepral’s Syndrome. In his mind he quickly did the calculations on how much time he could spare.     


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Shepard sat in his office chair, enjoying his down time. The team had successful completed missions for Mordin and Grunt on Tuchanka the previous day.  It had been hell, but now he could relax. He smiled, thinking about his meeting with Wrex and how the krogan leader had found him and Thane kissing on the shuttle. Thane had been trying to calm him down; one of the krogans there had pissed the Commander off so badly that Tael wanted him dead. So, Thane took matters into his own hands.  

Garrus had filled Wrex in on his relationship with Thane and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. But he couldn’t deny it, no matter how much he wanted to. Not after his confession to the drell in his quarters.  

He turned in his chair as he heard his door opening. Thane entered with a two mugs, passing one to him. “Why aren’t you relaxing?” Tael asked him. He thought for sure Thane would be in his room meditating. 

“I am about to,” Thane smirked, taking a seat on the couch. He watched as Tael stayed at his computer, going over messages. Thane’s eyes narrowed as Tael glared at the screen. He was about to get up and go over to him, but decided to wait for Tael to make the first move. 

Tael relayed some coordinates and several pertinent pieces of information to Joker. When that was done he sighed, running his hands over his face. He had finally received the message he had been dreading. His parents were ready to meet with him to collect their daughter’s belongings. Tael really didn’t want to do this; he didn’t want to see them. 

He didn’t realize Thane had moved until he felt his hands on his shoulders. His touch helped him focus so he could think clearly. Thane stood behind him rubbing his shoulders, waiting for him to relax. He wasn’t sure if he should ask what had upset him or wait for Tael to tell him. Though the drell would likely parish before Tael ever opened up. 

Tael slowly relaxed under his expert touch. He wasn’t sure if he was happy that Thane was here or annoyed. He hated when someone knew there was something upsetting him. “It looks like the Normandy will be having guests tomorrow,” Tael muttered, rising to his feet and moving away from Thane’s touch. 

“Who is coming?” Thane asked curiously. 

“Who knows. They’ll probably send one of the crew so they don’t have to come,” he muttered, a cold edge to his words. Thane stood there with his hands clasped behind his back, waiting for him to continue. He watched as Tael went over to the bed, lying back against the pillows; one arm covering his eyes. Thane joined him on the bed, sitting beside his prone body. 

“Why are these visitors coming?” he asked when Tael didn’t speak. 

“We’re meeting my parents’ ship so they can collect my sister’s stuff,” he sighed. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he had promised himself that he would try his best not to shut Thane out. It seemed that silent promise he had made to himself was the hardest one to keep. He came close to telling him to fuck off, but bit his tongue.

Thane kept silent for a few moments. He had finally figured out that Tael didn’t get along with his parents. He often wondered why, but left it alone. Instead he lay down beside Tael, idly trailing his hand beneath his shirt; trying to distract him from his thoughts. He didn’t think it was working until he felt a shiver. Thane smirked, slowly moving his hands higher. “Thane, what are you doing?” Tael asked, watching the assassin carefully. 

“I thought that was obvious. If not, I’ll have to redouble my efforts,” Thane purred as he moved so that he was straddling him. He smirked as he saw the light return to Tael’s eyes. With Tael, Thane never had to hold himself back nor did he have to hide his desire. Drells were stronger than humans, so one would think that a drell would have to be careful. He didn’t; Tael enjoyed the roughness. 

Tael lay there watching the drell, his eyes smoldering with desire. This was the perfect way to get his mind off the message from his parents. Just what he needed. Tael leaned up to capture his mouth, but Thane leaned back; smiling as he heard him growl in frustration. The drell watched as Tael flopped back onto the back with a scowl. 

He grabbed Tael’s shirt, pulling it up, and watched as Tael took it off without an argument. He traced one of the scars that most intrigued him. It was a knife wound, a clean cut. He had once questioned why Tael still had scars, since Cerberus had essentially rebuilt him. Miranda had responded by saying that they had kept the Commander the same as he had been before his death. They didn’t want him changed. He traced the scar and watched as Tael eyes hardened, turning cold. He didn’t grab for his hand to stop him, but the coldness remained on his face. Thane raised a questioning brow, waiting for an explanation. 

“Don’t ask; I’m not talking about it,” he hissed, anger rising within him. He knew which scar held Thane’s interest and it was the one that he hated the most. He sighed in relief as Thane moved his questing fingers. 

Thane’s eyes roamed over his body, his gaze hesitating as he saw the nail marks on Tael’s shoulder. Anger rose in him at seeing them. He didn’t realize that his own fingers were digging into Tael’s skin until he heard him moan. “I see you had more pleasure than I thought while you were with Aria,” he bit out as an irrational anger came over him. 

Tael followed his gaze to the asari’s nail marks on his shoulder. He wondered if the ones on his back were gone yet. He vaguely remembered receiving them; he had been picturing Thane beneath him at the time. He raised a brow, hearing the anger in Thane’s voice; it was a sound he hadn’t heard often.  

“You knew I was with her, so what’s the problem?” Tael asked with a challenging smile that made Thane’s anger rise. Tael’s body arched as Thane’s fingers dug into his flesh, and he gasped in pleasure. He didn’t know how the drell did it; he had never been this responsive to any of his former lovers. 

Thane watched him respond to his touch and smirked. He knew that the marks weren’t Tael’s fault, but it brought out feelings that he hadn’t had since Irikah. He wanted more than just sex from this human, but he knew he wouldn’t get what he wanted for a long while; if he even lived that long. He knew his time was coming sooner than they had anticipated. His last checkup said he had about three to four months left. Not enough time for all he wanted. 

Thane leaned down, kissing him deeply. As their lips parted he leaned back, memorizing Tael’s face. He was about to continue, but a pinging noise from Tael’s computer stopped him. Tael’s ‘commander’ look slipped over his features. Thane knew that anything that he wanted to happen would have to wait for now. 

“I have to check that; I’m expecting two important messages,” Tael grumbled. He didn’t want to move, but he knew that he had to do this. He checked the message, his eyes widening. It was from Mordin. It appeared as though Mordin had done some research after Tael talked to him. Thane was able to have a transplant. 

“Thane, why didn’t you ever go for a transplant?” Tael asked without thinking. He watched Thane’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“It wouldn’t matter now; that offer was made a long time ago,” Thane muttered. He hadn’t thought about that in a while. 

“If it was still an option, would you do it?” Tael asked him, watching him closely. He moved from the computer, taking a seat on the bed beside Thane. 

“I won’t take a life to save my own,” Thane bit out.     

“That’s what I thought you would say,” Tael muttered, moving back to the computer. He typed a quick note to Mordin, telling him that particular idea was out. 

He waited patiently for Mordin to respond and when he did, Tael didn’t like the response. He wanted to do more tests on Thane. He stiffened when Thane moved up beside him, but didn’t blank the screen. “Are you willing?” he asked him without taking his eyes off the screen.

“His studies won’t be any different. He won’t get any better answers that the Hanar,” Thane snapped. 

Tael thought for a moment about everything he knew of his salarian scientist. “I don’t think you’re right. If anyone could find a cure, it would be him,” Tael stated thoughtfully. Thane’s eyes widened as he listened to him; it wasn’t often that he saw this side of Tael. It was as close as he ever got to seeing him without his emotional shields protecting him. 

Tael rose to his feet, taking a step closer to Thane. “What do you have to lose? Mordin’s test show you only have a few months left,” Tael told him, trying to keep any emotions from his face and voice. He knew he failed when Thane’s eyes widened. Just the thought of losing Thane brought a ball of fear to Tael’s stomach. There was no way he was admitting as much; not a chance in hell.  Thane moved closer, lacing a hand through his hair and kissing him. This kiss was different than the others he had received. There was feeling to it that Tael didn’t understand. 

Thane poured all his emotions into that kiss, conveying everything he could without having to say the words that he knew Tael wasn’t ready to hear. He had seen what Tael was trying to hide. Thane would never let him know that he realized the Commander’s feelings for him were far deeper than he cared to admit. He moved Tael back until he was sitting on the edge of the desk. Thane moved back from the kiss, his breath fanning Tael’s face. He could hear the rattling in his chest; the heaviness that came with every breath he took. 

Thane could feel another attack coming on; he tried to relax so he could fight it, but he knew it was useless. He took small, shallow breaths in an attempt to avoid coughing. He felt Tael’s hand cup the back of his head. He ran his hand softly over the scales and ridges, soothing Thane’s tension. He wasn’t sure where Tael had learnt this technique, but he was relieved that he knew it. Tael moved him back until his knees hit his chair. He sat down, his breath catching as Tael straddled his lap. 

Panic rose in Tael as he heard the rattling in Thane’s shallow breaths. He knew he was fighting another attack. He sat Thane down in his office chair, hoping he would be able to relax there. He ran his hands lightly along the back of his head and over the ridges, until he came to his forehead. Mordin’s information had said this was soothing for a drell; he just hoped it worked. 

It took a few minutes before Thane’s breathing began to deepen. Tael continued the massage even when Thane’s head rested on his shoulder. Something in Tael’s chest loosened when he felt him relax. He smiled when he heard him start purring and his hand lay lax on Tael’s lap. 

“Thane, we should move so you can stretch out,” Tael murmured. He took his hand, leading him to the bed. He could see that Thane’s coloring was off. He lay beside Thane and heard him struggling for breath once more after being moved; the rattling that came with each inhalation. “EDI, have Mordin come up here. Tell him Thane is having a hard time with his breathing,” Tael said and worried when there was no argument from Thane. 

Tael lay beside him, running his hand along his forehead. He turned toward the door as it opened. Mordin walked in, carrying several medical instruments. Tael started to leave the bed so Mordin could do his scans, but Thane stopped him, placing a hand on his arm. 

Mordin watched this with shock. He tried to hide his worry; he didn’t want to be the one to tell Tael that Thane would only get worse from here on out. He knew these attacks would come more frequently and he was aware that the one who brought that information would probably die.  

Mordin took a good look at Thane. He didn’t like his color; at the moment he was a lighter shade of green than he should be. He moved to the other side of the bed, running his first scan while Tael ran his hand over Thane’s ridges. He looked at the readings and it wasn’t good. 

He watched the Commander in wonder. He had never seen this side of him. Actually, he didn’t think this side existed until now. “These med should help for a bit,” Mordin told him. He waited for Thane to sit up but he remained dormant on the bed. Mordin looked at the Commander for help. He wasn’t sure if Tael would help and he wasn’t going to ask out loud. He saw Tael smirk before helping Thane to sit up. Mordin’s eyes widened as he watched the normally cold Commander move behind Thane, allowing him to lean against his chest. A sigh of relief coursed through Mordin as he heard Thane purring. The chances of an additional attack were slim, at least for now. He hoped that Tael could keep him relaxed until the pills kicked in. 

“Here, take this,” Tael said, passing him some water with the pill. Thane took the medication and relaxed back against Tael, sighing with relief. He had avoided a full-blown attack with Tael’s help. Thane sighed as he felt Tael’s heat seep into him, relaxing him even further. 

Thane purred deeply in contentment as his chest began to loosen. He looked up for Mordin, but he was already gone. A pill bottle was on the bedside table; he knew he had blacked out for a bit while Tael and Mordin talked. 

Tael laid back, deep in thought. If Thane had been alone, no one would have been the wiser. He could have died and no one would have known. He was lucky that it happened while he was up here, instead of in his room. He flinched as the best possible solution came to him; he didn’t want to admit that this was the only way to handle the situation. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew he didn’t want to lose Thane.  Throwing his pride, and anything else that would stand in the way, aside he made up his mind. He was doing this so that if Thane had another attack he would have help. 

“How are you feeling?” Tael asked, still running his hand over his ridges. 

“I’m fine,” Thane slurred sleepily. Tael followed his lead and allowed himself to rest, with the drell using his body as a pillow.  

                                                                                ~oooooo~

Thane awoke feeling refreshed. He took a deep breath expecting pain, but none came. His initial smile disappeared when he found he was in bed alone. He glanced over at the computer and Tael’s office chair was empty. He grabbed his vest from the side of the bed, not remembering when he took it off. 

He was about to head for the elevator, but stopped when the doors to the room opened. Tael walked in with two thermoses and two mugs. He passed one of the mugs to Thane. “Did you take your pills?” Tael asked with an arched brow. Thane looked at him in confusion, not remembering anything about pills. 

Tael smirked as he walked over to the bedside table, grabbing a pill bottle. He tossed it over to the shocked drell. “These pills. You’re to take them twice a day until Mordin says otherwise. You are also expected to see him tomorrow,” he explained. 

Thane looked at the unfamiliar pills. He had been on pills before and they hadn’t helped. As such, he didn’t want to take any more. “I’m not taking them,” he snapped, setting them down on the coffee table. 

“Wanna bet?” Tael asked coldly. “Either you take them willingly or I force them down your throat.”

Thane smirked, knowing there was no possible way that Tael could carry through with his threat. He gave the human a challenging look, daring him to do his worse. He knew he could take Tael easily and had quite a few times. 

“Don’t push it, Thane, you won’t like the outcome,” Tael warned. He knew Thane would hate his plan, but he would do whatever it took. Mordin had said these pills would help somewhat, so the stubborn drell _would_ be taking them. “So, how are your lungs feeling after your last episode?” Tael asked silkily. 

Thane hesitated and actually thought about his question. His eyes widened when he took a deep breath and felt no need to cough. There was barely any pain; some tightness, but not as much as usual. “Fine,” Thane answered uncertainly.

“Really? Then I would suggest you take the meds,” Tael stated in a hard voice. 

“They don’t help,” Thane spat angrily. 

“You could have fooled me. Last night you could barely get a breath in; yet today after taking those pills you are able to? Go figure,” Tael drawled mockingly. 

Tael walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the medicine bottle. He shoved the pills into Thane’s hand. Thane scowled at him before beginning to pace. He hated taking pills and he didn’t see the need. They weren’t a cure. They might be helping now, but that wouldn’t last. He glared at Tael before slapping the pills back on his desk. Tael raised a brow at seeing the anger in Thane’s movements. He didn’t care how much he complained, Thane would be taking those pills since they were helping him. “Fine, you leave me no choice,” Tael shrugged. “EDI, have Garrus report to my quarters now.”

“He’s on his way, Shepard,” EDI answered. Tael could have sworn he heard laughter in her voice. 

They didn’t have long to wait before Garrus walked in. “Need your help. Thane doesn’t want to take his pills and they are actually helping him. So it looks like we will have to force him,” Tael told the turian with an evil grin. Garrus turned to the scowling drell and wondered if this was even going to be possible. He had seen Thane fight and knew their chances of succeeding were terribly slim.

“You’re sure?” Garrus asked doubtfully. Tael raised a brow and Garrus shook his head with a smirk.  

Tael grabbed the pills from the desk and stood next to Thane; Garrus taking up a position on his other side. He passed the pill bottle to Garrus, and Thane watched them both warily. He never thought Tael would call someone to help him. He knew now that he had pushed too far. He wondered what was about to happen. They nodded to each other and before Thane had a chance to react, Teal pulled him backward, his head tilted toward the ceiling. He clamped his mouth shut, glaring murderously at the both of them. “Open, Thane,” Tael smirked, while Garrus held Thane’s arms secularly in his hands. 

Thane regarded him with a cold look that promised retribution. He watched Tael shake his head slowly with a grin that set him on edge. Tael leaned forward, nipping at the red folds on the side of his neck. Thane held in his groan, but Tael was relentless in his torture. He worked his way down his throat before biting down softly. Thane couldn’t hold in his cry of pleasure. Garrus took the opportunity and shoved the pill in his mouth, chuckling at how Tael had manipulated Thane into taking his pills. He would have never thought this of Tael. He had been expecting a fight, probably with a gun involved, but he never expected this. He could see in his eyes that Thane was thinking the exact same thing.  

“It’s in, Tael,” Garrus murmured. 

“Pity, I was having fun,” Tael grinned at Garrus. Thane swallowed the pill, his body tight with need. 

“So, did you swallow it?” Tael asked Thane as Garrus maintained his hold on the assassin’s arms. Thane glared at him, but he could see the desire beneath the anger. He wondered which would win out in the end, anger or desire. 

“I think I’m going to leave,” Garrus smirked as he felt the tension in Thane’s body. He let go of his arms and barely dodged as Thane pinned Tael against the wall by the door. Garrus quickly rushed out of the suite and heard a low moan as the door closed behind him. He stood there waiting for the elevator, trying not to listen to the sounds coming from the room behind him. 

Tael cried out as he felt Thane enter him. He was in heaven as pleasure coursed through his body. Thane had lost control and Tael reveled in it. 

They both leaned heavily against the wall, recuperating from their desperate coupling. Thane moved over to the bed with Tael. He laid back against the pillows as his breathing finally slowed down. It had been a while since he had lost control like that. He closed his eyes, purring as he relaxed. 

Tael closed his eyes, arguing with himself about what he was about to ask. He had already come to the decision, but saying the words out loud was more difficult than he thought it would be. “You know you should move your stuff up here,” Tael commented, finally voicing his idea from the night before. He still wasn’t sure he liked the idea, but it was the only solution that made sense. 

Thane stared at him in shock. It took him a few minutes to find his voice. “Why?” he asked. 

Tael turned to him. “Someone needs to keep an eye on you if you have another attack,” he remarked. He wasn’t going to lie about his reasons. That was the only reason he was suggesting it, he repeated to himself.

“Is that the only reason?” Thane asked carefully. He watched Tael’s eyes darken. That one change told him more than Tael wanted him to know. Thane hid his smile as Tael gave himself away. 

“Don’t read more into it than there is,” Tael scowled. Thane hid his smirk at Tael’s answer. It was the exact answer he had been expecting. Thane thought about it for a moment, wondering if moving in with Tael would be prudent. He knew Tael had a valid point; his attacks were getting worse. But would this put too much of a strain on the very fragile relationship they had?

Tael kept his eyes closed, waiting for Thane’s answer. His body was on edge for some odd reason. Thane was about to give his answer when Tael’s computer gave a ping for an incoming message. He moved from the bed to see what it was 

Tael glanced at the message, his eyes widening as he read it. It wasn’t one he had been expecting. Thane waited for him to answer the message and looked on curiously when Tael didn’t answer right away. Tael looked between Thane and the computer screen, his eyebrow raised. Kolyat, Thane’s annoying kid, was contacting him. He wanted to talk to him without his father present. Tael wasn’t sure how to answer; this was his lover’s son, after all. 

“Thane, why would your son want to talk to me?” Tael asked, confused. The last time he saw the kid he had threatened him. He waited as Thane came over to him and looked at the screen. Thane read over the message, his own curiosity piqued. Tael replied tersely, informing Kolyat that he would contact him when he next reached the Citadel. 

“Good question,” Thane murmured. 

“Tael, we’re coming up to the coordinates you gave me. There is an incoming message for you,” Joker stated over the comm. 

“Send it to my quarters,” Tael ordered. He didn’t want to have this conversation in front of the crew. He knew Joker would be listening in, but the pilot already knew what the relationship with his parents was like.

Thane took a seat on the couch. He listened to the hostility between father and son. Tael was cold; this was the coldest that Thane had ever seen him. His father was equally cruel with his words. Thane took a good look at the man on the video screen. He had greying black hair. His skin was not as dark as Tael’s, but you could see the resemblance in their facial features. He wondered what happened between them to cause such anger. 

“Joker, dock with the ship,” Tael ordered. Without another word, Tael left. Thane thought about following, but decided against it. He knew Tael wouldn’t appreciate the interference. 

Tael marched over to the airlock, waiting for whoever they were sending. Garrus stood at his back, a malicious grin on his face. “I’m surprised that Thane isn’t here,” Garrus murmured thoughtfully. 

“He doesn’t know what happened,” Tael growled, anger flowing through him. The sound of his father’s voice put him on edge. 

The airlock opened, revealing an older image of Tael. Tael hissed, glowering at his old man. “Tael,” his father nodded in greeting. It didn’t fool him; Tael knew that as soon as his back was turned, he should expect a blade. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

Garrus followed them to the elevator. He was acting like a guard; he had seen what Tael’s father had done to him the last time they encountered each other. Garrus still couldn’t comprehend how a father could do that. He could understand if the child betrayed him, but Tael hadn’t done anything of the sort. Tael had nothing to do with his sister’s death. 

Garrus stayed in the elevator as father and son exited. He thought about following, but thought better of it. Thane was up there so he knew nothing would happen. He punched the control to take him to the Mess Hall. 

His eyes widened when he saw Thane sitting at a table with Samara. “Thane, what are you doing down here?” Garrus asked, nearly panicking. He tried to keep it out of his voice, but he couldn’t. 

“Is there a problem, Garrus?” Thane asked worriedly as he saw the fear in the turian’s eyes. Garrus didn’t answer, but rushed for the elevator. Thane followed him, just making it to the doors in time. “What’s going on?” Thane asked, his voice sharper than he intended. 

“Hopefully nothing,” Garrus replied nervously. They both stopped dead as they walked into Tael’s quarters.

Tael glared at his father, rage burning deep within him as he listened to the old man’s ravings. “You’re starting this all over again? I wonder how many more people are going to die because of your obsession with these Reapers,” his father spat nastily. 

Tael stood there, taking a deep breath before he murdered his father. Frank Shepard was a walking asshole. People thought he was bad until they met his father. “’Starting this all over again?’ Are you really that much of an idiot? It never stopped!” Tael nearly shouted. 

“Only for you. Killing your sister wasn’t enough. Now you have these humans following you and your delusions. Do you want to add more innocents to your death count?” Frank mocked. 

Tael took a step towards him; bringing his face close to his father, “There are more than humans on this ship. Each and every one of these people believes that the Reapers are coming. Now grab your fucking shit and get the fuck off my ship before I kill you myself,” Tael snarled. His eyes flicked to his bedroom door as Thane and Garrus walked in. Tael wasn’t sure if he should kick them out or be relieved that they had come. Thane glared at his father, and Garrus let out a low rumble, anger blazing in his eyes. Tael wasn’t shocked that his father hadn’t noticed them. They were aliens; not worthy of his acknowledgement.  

“You should have stayed dead. It was the only good thing you did for humanity. The next time you die, make sure you take those alien friends of yours and leave the humans out of it. You know, I should kill you myself and save humanity the suffering you will put them through,” Frank spat belligerently.  

Thane moved quickly when he saw Tael’s father tense and the glint of steel in his hand. Without thought of repercussions, he grabbed the man’s arm; twisting it violently until the knife dropped from his grip. The pop as Thane dislocated his arm echoed through the room. Garrus flinched at hearing the noise, but did nothing to calm Thane. As far as he was concerned, Thane could kill this human.  

Thane shoved Frank up against the fish tank, one arm over his windpipe; choking the air out of him. A low rumbling growl escaped him as his anger grew. Thane knew he should stop, but he couldn’t; not after the way this human talked to Tael. His blood boiled from what little of the conversation he had heard.  

Tael watched the events unfolding around him with interest. He didn’t want to stop Thane, but he had to; for his family’s sake. Tael walked up behind Thane, placing a hand on his shoulder. He moved closer so that the length of his body touched Thane’s and rested his head against the back of the assassin’s neck. He could feel the anger coming off of him in waves. “Thane, let him go,” Tael told him softly. He felt Thane relax beneath his hands and he slowly released the older man.  

Tael watched as his father collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath. Thane turned in Tael’s arms, his anger calming. He searched Tael’s face for the emotion that he had been hoping for. He saw it, but he wondered if Tael even realized it. 

“Get the container and get off my ship. Don’t contact me again,” Tael ordered coldly. 

“Garrus, have someone escort him off of this ship,” he commanded. He watched his father struggle with one of the containers, but he couldn’t carry it with his injured arm. Begrudgingly, he and Thane took the containers from Frank. They all boarded the elevator; none of them taking their eyes off of Tael’s father. 

Tael was the first one to leave the elevator, followed by his father. Thane and Garrus followed closely behind them. Garrus’ hands were flexed by his side; he had taken off his glove, just in case. He didn’t want a gun for this, not if he had a chance to kill the man. 

Garrus smirked as Tael hesitated. Grunt, Zaeed, Samara and Mordin stood just outside of the elevator, waiting for them. Grunt was scowling at Tael’s father as he stepped into the room.  

Tael’s father hesitated; they heard his gasp as Grunt moved toward them. “Garrus, what’s going on?” Tael asked uncertainly. 

Garrus shrugged, unsure himself why they were here. He glanced at the group, seeing the anger in their eyes. His eyes widened further when Kelly came over with a scowl that wasn’t pointed toward Tael, but to his father. “Joker played your conversation with your father ship wide,” she answered, her eyes never leaving the older man’s. 

Tael’s eyes widened at this information, he wasn’t sure if wanted to kill Joker or…he wasn’t sure what the ‘or’ part was, but he was shocked that these people were here. “What do you want us to do with him?” Mordin asked. 

“We can make his death look accidental,” Zaeed stated with a grin. 

“No, just get him off my ship, along with those containers. Be careful with the containers,” Tael said, his anger abated by this one show of loyalty. 

“With pleasure,” Grunt said. Grabbing the man roughly, he hauled him toward the airlock. Samara and Mordin grabbed the crates, bringing them to the other ship.  

“Make sure no one from his ship boards us. You have my permission to use any means necessary,” Tael stated coldly, his eyes never leaving his father’s. Without another word, he turned and went back to his quarters, where he could drink himself to oblivion.

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Tael relaxed on the bed, loving the feel of Thane’s cool skin against his. He had planned on drinking, but Thane had helped him burn out his anger in other ways that were far more enjoyable. Right now sleep was just beginning to tug at him. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Thane asked, startling Tael.

“Not ready yet,” he answered. His argument with his father was still bothering him. Tael sat up in the bed, sighing heavily as Thane lay there, waiting patiently for him to return. “I was thinking about the last time my father and I had a similar argument,” Tael told him. 

Thane watched him as he ran a hand through his already mussed hair. “Is that how you got the scar?” he asked intuitively. 

“Yeah, he blamed me for Jessy’s death. When Sovereign was destroyed, a piece crashed through her apartment, killing her. I had to notify my father and he had me meet him on Noveria,” Tael explained. 

Thane ran his hand along his back, stopping when he reached a scar that matched the one on his stomach. Tael didn’t need to continue. Thane had already figured out what happened. He tried to sooth Tael in the same way the Commander did for him when his attacks came. “I brought Garrus with me, but he was too far away to stop my father from shoving the blade through me. My father disappeared and Garrus had to rush to get medical assistance for me. My father almost got his wish. If I hadn’t had Garrus with me…” Tael trailed off, feeling too raw, too exposed. This was the first time he had ever talked about this to anyone. 

Thane sat in silence. He knew anything he said wouldn’t be enough and Tael wouldn’t appreciate it right now. He tried to keep the tension from his body, but he couldn’t; now he wished that he had killed Frank Shepard when he had the chance. 

Tael turned to him, swallowing a few times. He was about to open himself more than he was comfortable with. He had to; Thane had always been there for him, even when he was at his worst. He didn’t understand why Thane hadn’t run yet or given up on him. Every time his past crept up, Thane was there; helping him through it. “Thane…thanks for being here…” Tael uttered hoarsely.

Thane smiled as he moved closer to him, pulling him back down onto the bed. _Maybe it won’t take as long as I thought it would for Tael to admit his feelings,_ Thane thought.          

        

  

  

  


	14. Chapter 14

Thane sat with Garrus and Samara in the Mess Hall while Miranda and Shepard talked. They were surprised that they didn’t hear raised voices from either of them. “Do you think Miranda is still alive?” Garrus asked as he glanced over at her door. 

Shepard stormed out of Miranda’s room. “Garrus, suit up,” he ordered; without another word, he went straight for the elevator to his own room. 

Thane watched him leave. “What do you think happened?” Garrus asked, a concerned expression on his face. 

“He just left Miranda’s room, it could be anything,” Thane answered with a smirk. 

Garrus wasn’t sure what this mission was going to be like with the mood Tael was in. _Probably a lot of bloodshed and tormenting Miranda_ , he thought as he made his way to the airlock. He hoped that Thane would go upstairs and calm Tael down before they left the ship. Or possibly take his place. Garrus cringed when he heard the clicking of heels as Miranda joined him.

“So, are you going to follow him and calm him down for our sanity, or at least mine?” Garrus asked with a hopeful look. 

Thane smirked, raising his brow ridge. “Calm him down? That would take too long, especially in his current mood,” he said and chuckled at Garrus’ crestfallen expression. “If you’re so worried, why don’t you come up and talk to him?” 

“No! I value my life, thank you,” Garrus muttered, glaring at the chuckling drell. He watched Thane walk away, wondering how safe this mission was going to be since Thane wasn’t going to step in.  

Thane walked into his room, Garrus’ words still ringing in his mind - ‘try and calm Tael down’. He didn’t mind that, but he knew it would be impossible to do, short of seducing him.  There wasn’t time enough for that; not with Miranda breathing down their necks. She was already horrified by their relationship. They didn’t need to add kindling to the fire. 

He glanced at Tael. He stood there in a muscle shirt, the bottom half of his armor already on. Thane went over to him, helping him with one of the latches on the upper part of his armor. He knew Tael didn’t need the help, but he wanted to repay Tael for some of the help he had given him. 

“What happened with you and Miranda?” Thane asked. 

“She is expecting this mission to go perfect; without any difficulties at all. She won’t even consider that there could be problems,” he said, sighing in frustration. 

“You are expecting problems?” Thane asked.

“When have we been on a mission where the unexpected doesn’t happen?” Tael asked with a raised brow.

“What do you think will happen?” Thane asked as he finished with the last clasp. Not turning to look at Tael, he grabbed and checked over his guns. Tael headed over to the computer, checking his messages in case someone wanted something else done on the planet. 

“Who knows? You should always expect the worst; that way there won’t be any surprises,” Tael grumbled. “I want you sniping or using stealth when you can. I don’t want the enemy to know you’re there. At the moment you’re our ace in the hole,” Tael grinned. 

“If that is so, I won’t be with the group,” Thane reminded him. 

“I know, but I want every advantage we can get. Keep your com open so we can cover you if needed,” Tael ordered. Thane smirked, adrenaline pumping through him at the thought of using stealth. 

He searched Tael’s face as he remembered what Garrus had asked of him down in the Mess Hall. “You have Garrus worried,” Thane commented when the last clasp was done. 

“Garrus worries too easily,” Tael muttered, tossing his visor on the bed. 

“He has a right to worry this time, given your current mood,” Thane told him. 

“Then you _both_ worry too easily,” Tael hissed, looking at Thane irritably. 

“Do you blame us? You take your life into your own hands whenever we are on the battlefield. You have no concern for your own safety,” Thane growled. What started off as a calm comment turned into anger.  “It’s almost as if you have a death wish.”

Tael stayed silent; he wasn’t about to comment on this. Thane was hitting too close to home; only a few weeks ago he would have been correct. He would have gladly walked into battle and died; now he didn’t want that, nor was he going to admit to it. Thane had gotten enough emotion out of him to last a lifetime. 

Thane stormed over to him, his anger at an all-time high when Tael refused to answer. “Are you still wishing death, Tael?” Thane asked angrily. He wanted to see some emotion, instead of the cold look he was getting. 

“I could ask you the same thing, Thane,” Tael sneered, stepping around Thane and grabbing his gloves. 

“You know I don’t wish death now. If I did, I wouldn’t be going for all those tests Mordin has been doing,” Thane hissed. Tael didn’t bother answering; he headed toward the door, but two strong arms stopped him. Tael hesitated for a moment before jerking out of Thane’s grip; but that one moment was enough for Thane to take notice. 

“What the fuck do you want?” Tael hissed, his voice losing some of its edge. 

“For you to quit hiding and act like a Commander, instead of someone who wants to throw their life away on each mission,” Thane snapped coldly, his conflicting emotions making his anger sharper. 

Tael growled and pinned Thane up against the wall. “What the fuck I do on missions is no concern of yours, as long as the team is safe.” He was about to walk away, but Thane switched their positions, slamming Tael into the fish tank. Instantly, Tael had one arm twisted behind his back and his face was pressed up against the glass. 

“No concern of mine?” Thane growled coldly. “Are we back to this? Is that all I am to you; someone good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to care about?” Thane growled, rage burning through him. 

Thane hesitated when he heard Tael chuckle. “Thane, if you really believe that, you are a fucking idiot. If this is your way of getting me to confess my undying love, then don’t hold your breath. You’ll never hear me admit to that,” Tael spat and moved away from him as Thane’s grip loosened. “As for no concern of yours, the pressures of command are no concern of yours. Be thankful for that,” Tael said, shaking his head. 

As he walked toward the door, Tael looked over his shoulder at Thane. “As for caring about you - I care about you more than I ever thought possible.” With those words, he walked out of the room. Thane stood there speechless; his heart raced, his mind taking in each word. It took him a few minutes before he could move. With a small smile, he walked out of the room and into the elevator where Tael waited. There were no further words spoken; there wasn’t any need.

Miranda scowled as she saw Shepard and his lover make their way toward her. She really didn’t want to put up with sappy smiles and soft words right now. She couldn’t believe that Shepard had him move into his room. The assassin had a perfectly good room in Life Support. 

“Let’s go,” Shepard ordered. 

Shepard motioned for them to exit ahead of him, and Garrus scowled at Thane. “I thought you were supposed to calm him?” he grumbled. 

“We had a slight argument,” Thane smirked as Garrus’ scowl deepened. 

Tael walked out of the Normandy behind Thane. He glanced at Garrus and saw the scowl. “What’s your problem?” Tael asked, a hard edge to his voice. 

“I’m thinking that the idea you used to have for air locking Thane might have been a good one,” Garrus said.  He was trying to joke, but it didn’t come out that way. Thane could see that he was trying to lighten the mood; but he knew in his current frame of mind, Tael would take it wrong. 

Tael turned cold, deadly eyes to Garrus. Garrus shifted uneasily on his feet, fear slithering down his back as those glowing red eyes bore into him. He wasn’t sure what to say to save his life. He was pretty sure that Tael was thinking about killing him at the moment. 

Miranda didn’t have to look at the Commander to know he was thinking about killing Garrus; the coldness that was emanating from him said as much. For once in her life, true fear coursed through her. She leaned back in her chair, trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible. She didn’t need Shepard turning those eyes to her. 

“You’re slipping, Tael. He made the threat before you did,” Thane smirked as he leaned into Tael. Slowly he felt his lover’s body relax. “So, does that mean I have to sleep with one eye open tonight?” he asked slyly. 

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” Tael muttered, smirking as he turned his attention to Thane. Thane gave him a pointed look, his dark eyes glittering. Tael’s anger toward Garrus was quickly forgotten. “I think you’re right, Garrus, he does need to be air locked,” he commented.

Garrus let out a relieved breath as they continued on to meet Miranda’s contact.   

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Shepard had been right. What was supposed to be a simple escort turned into a rescue mission. He gave Garrus and Thane amused looks when Miranda’s back was turned. Thane would be heading out and meeting them there. His first concern was to find a place to hide. 

Thane was about to move away so he could be prepared for them when they came; but Tael stopped him, as the other two left. “Don’t do anything stupid,” he stated, his voice cold and hard. Thane smirked, pulling him into a bruising kiss before disappearing. 

Garrus, Miranda and Shepard took a transport to the warehouse where they were to meet her sister. An Eclipse mercenary leader met them, telling the party a different story from the one that Miranda had given them. Shepard scowled, glaring at Miranda for lying to him. He shouldn’t have been shocked, but right now he wanted Miranda dead for that one slight. He didn’t have time to call her on it, however, as they had to rush to take cover once again. 

Getting through the first part was easy enough with Thane sniping at their opponents from a catwalk above them. Tael couldn’t pinpoint where he was, as his location always changed. It wasn’t until they were half way through the warehouse that they finally heard from Thane. “Tael, I’m coming down beside you. I can no longer stay up here safely,” Thane muttered, gingerly touching the place where a bullet had grazed his arm. It still burned and it was deeper than he thought; he cringed at the idea of what Tael would say. He glanced down below him; he thought about taking out the three mercs to his left, but when another bullet hit the metal next to him, he changed his mind. He no longer had cover from his enemies.  

He jumped down, landing right behind Tael; placing one hand on Tael’s shoulder to steady himself for a moment. Garrus and Miranda’s guns swung his way without thought, but Tael stayed where he was, pegging off the enemy. “Anyone pulls the trigger, you’ll find yourself in an early grave,” Tael growled threateningly. He hadn’t needed to see if it was Thane, he just knew. 

“Thane, can you take out those three fucks over there? They are boxing us in,” Tael asked, glancing over his shoulder with a raised brow.  Nodding, Thane moved quickly and quietly. Tael had noticed blood on his jacket, but he didn’t have time to take a good look at it. He turned his attention back to the gun fire in front of him, knowing that Thane would be able to handle those three on his own.  

Thane moved quickly, sneaking up behind his opponent and snapping his neck. He swung around to the next one, taking the gun from him and pressing it into his side, pulling the trigger. He was about to take out the last one, but more mercs made their way toward him. He didn’t have time to dodge the hit that came from the butt of a gun behind him. It stunned him long enough for the others to surround him. He was about to call to Tael for back up, but there was no need. 

Tael glanced to Thane’s location to see how he was holding up. He was surprised he wasn’t back already. His eyes narrowed when he saw Thane surrounded by a group of Eclipse mercs. Garrus glanced at Tael for a moment, his eyes widening at the murderous look in the Commander’s gaze. 

“Tael, we have to move,” Miranda reminded him. 

“Fuck you,” Tael growled. He moved quickly, using his biotics to get him over to Thane quicker. He broke the neck of the first attacker he reached. He hit the second hard enough to imbed the butt of his gun in the man’s face. Thane took care of the one closest to him. Tael went for the last one; he snapped the guy’s back before breaking his neck. 

Thane heard Tael’s enraged growl and grabbed the one closest to him, killing him instantly. He went to help Tael and hesitated; three mercs lay dead at his feet. Tael stood there breathing hard, rage burning bright in his eyes. He began to speak, but hesitated when Tael grasped his arm, his gaze turning murderous. “He’s dead, Tael,” Thane smirked.  

Tael looked Thane over for other injuries; he could barely contain his rage at knowing Thane was in danger. The only visible injuries were the blood on his arm and a bruise forming on his cheek. “How bad?” he asked calmly, though he didn’t feel calm. He wanted to kill the one who harmed him very slowly. Tael passed him some medigel to close the wound and stop the bleeding. 

They made their way over to Garrus and Miranda to clear out any stragglers before heading into the elevator. Tael was the last one to enter, his eyes never leaving Miranda’s as he stood in front of her. He crossed his arms over his chest, more for her safety than anything else. Right now he wanted her dead; her lie was costing them time that could be better spent going after the Collectors. “Miranda, you have a lot of explaining to do,” Shepard growled, cornering her. 

Miranda glared at him, but when she saw the coldness in his eyes she hesitated. For two years she had thought she knew what Shepard was like. She thought she knew everything about him, but that wasn’t true. No documentation could give you the full picture of the man. They made him sound like a hero, a person that would do anything to get the job done; but they forgot to add a few things in the dossier. The Commander had no conscience; he protected those closest to him and there weren’t many included in that list. She thought she would be able to control him from the moment he awoke in the Cerberus facility. She and the Illusive Man had both made a fatal error in judgment. This man couldn’t be controlled, not unless you were looking for your death. 

Taking a fortifying breath, she hoped she would be able to finish her story before Shepard killed her. “My sister, she’s my identical twin genetically, but she is younger than me. I didn’t want her left at the mercy of my father. She doesn’t deserve that, so I stole her from my father and hid her,” she told him quietly, waiting for the rage she was sure would come. 

“Fine, I can understand that, but who the fuck is your father?” Shepard asked. 

“He’s a very powerful and wealthy man,” she answered obliquely. 

“Well, you sure know how to pick your enemies,” Shepard smirked. “Let’s go and find your sister. But Miranda, lie to me again and I’ll kill you myself.”

“I hear you, Shepard, loud and clear,” she sighed. At one point, those would have been mocking words; but that was no longer the case. She knew he was a man who kept his promises. If she crossed him, he would kill her without a second thought. 

Thane smirked at Tael’s warning; he had been expecting it. If it hadn’t come, he would have been surprised. They walked onto the next level. Thane took in the layout; he knew that they would have to time their shots and Tael would have to keep his temper in check. The first part was easy; the second not nearly so. He eyed Tael for a moment, judging his mood. So far he was keeping his calm, but that wouldn’t last long if Miranda lied again or something else happened. 

“We’ll have to time our shots,” Miranda stated in warning. 

“Really? What was your first clue?” Tael muttered sarcastically, glaring at her. 

“You’ll have to keep your temper in check,” Thane murmured softly, close to his ear. Tael scowled at him. “Tael, a wrong move here could compromise us. They have the advantage,” Thane reminded him. He hoped Tael was listening. Thane moved in closer so the others wouldn’t overhear. “I would like to see the end of this mission.” Tael’s head snapped toward him, but no words were spoken. 

Garrus watched them for a moment; he hoped Tael heeded Thane’s warning, but he wasn’t holding his breath. Tael was a wild card and you just didn’t know what would switch his mood. Garrus knew that Tael would lose it if anything happened to Thane. He hoped Miranda would be able to hold her tongue and say nothing stupid. All they needed was for Tael to run over to the other side and try and take everyone out. 

Garrus smirked as he watched the number of mercs drop. Thane was using his sniper rifle, with Tael beside him, using his hand canon and biotics. It didn’t take long before they could continue on. Something about this mission just didn’t feel right to Garrus. He looked at Tael and could see that he was having the same feeling. 

“Miranda, you have lead,” Tael ordered. 

They exited the final elevator, stopping short as they saw Miranda’s long-time friend, Niket, standing next to the enemy. Tael knew something wasn’t right long before they opened their mouths. He saw Miranda pale as she found out her longtime friend betrayed her. Tael swore colorfully and Thane could see him itching to pull the trigger. However, this had to be Miranda’s decision, not his. He rested a hand on Tael’s shoulder, giving him a pointed look. He smirked when Tael gave an aggravated sigh. 

Garrus watched as Miranda pulled the trigger and then attacked the asari Eclipse commando. This was going to be one hell of a fight. Another matriarch! He remembered going up against Benezia and that had been hell; he just hoped this one wasn’t as bad. 

Tael groaned and rolled his eyes. He glanced at Garrus and raised a brow; it brought memories back for the both of them. More mercs poured out of nearby corridors, and some tried sneaking up behind them. “Fuck, we need better cover than this,” Tael swore. 

Thane agreed. He was covering their backs as they took out as many mercs as they could. Thane was tiring, having not been in the field for a while. Tael glanced at him and could see the fatigue on his face. “Thane, take my place,” Tael ordered as he took over covering everyone’s back.

The battle was long and arduous; the constant fighting having taken its toll on the party. Garrus laughed when the matriarch finally fell. “Garrus, that laughter better mean that bitch is finally dead,” Tael smirked. 

“She’s down, Tael,” Garrus grinned. 

They watched as Tael marched over to the prone body, his anger at the asari boiling over. He grabbed her by the throat, squeezing tightly as he lifted her to her feet. He knew Miranda should be the one to finish her off, but this bitch was his. He watched with a deadly grin as she screamed; without thought, Tael shoved his gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger, dropping her body back to the ground.

“Let’s finish this,” he snapped coldly as they headed for the elevator. 

Thane didn’t say a word at the way Tael had taken out the asari. He knew it would be pointless, so he kept his council to himself. 

They all stopped when they saw that Miranda’s sister was safe and with her family. Miranda looked at her sister sadly. Tael wanted to leave, but he could see that Miranda wanted to talk to her sister. “Miranda, will you just get this over with and talk to her?” Tael asked irritably. 

“I can’t, she shouldn’t be involved in this,” Miranda murmured sadly. 

“You don’t have to give her details, but she might like to know she has a sister,” Tael shrugged, rolling his eyes. What he wanted to say was ‘okay, let’s get the fuck out of here’, but she needed to do this. 

Miranda left, walking slowly toward her sister. Thane moved up behind Tael, resting one hand on his waist. He couldn’t say the words he wanted to out loud; Tael would become uncomfortable and mock them. Tael laced his fingers through Thane’s. He leaned back against the drell, a smirk on his face. “I take it you’re happy?” Tael asked. 

“They should know each other. They are family,” Thane said softly. Tael glanced over his shoulder at him and smiled. 

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Tael went straight to the shower and hoped that it would be able to calm him some. He was still revved up from the fight. He walked past Garrus and Thane as they stood talking by the airlock. Thane glanced over at Tael as he stalked toward the elevator. 

“What’s his problem?” Garrus asked, a concerned expression on his face. 

Thane smirked. “Nothing,” he answered, holding back his chuckle. He knew exactly what was wrong with Tael.  

Garrus narrowed his eyes at the drell. He was about to ask once more, but thought better of it. Thane’s smirk told him he didn’t want to know. He watched as Thane sauntered off in the same direction as Tael. He let a small smirk of his own show. It was about time the old Tael was showing himself. 

“Hey, Garrus, looks like Shepard is loosening up,” Joker commented. 

“Looks that way. He’s the way I remember him being on the original Normandy,” Garrus said and the men shared a grin. “Guess we don’t have to worry about people dying when they piss him off anymore.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. There is always Miranda; she knows how to annoy Shepard,” Joker reminded him. The pilot really wanted to know about the Commander’s relationship with their drell assassin. The Tael he remembered was never serious about anyone, but Thane was always up in his room. 

“What’s on your mind, Joker?” Garrus asked, looking at him cautiously. He wasn’t sure if he wanted an answer, but he knew Joker well enough to realize that there was a problem. 

“Shepard and Thane, what’s going on there?” he asked. 

“Thane lives with Tael now,” Garrus chuckled as Joker gaped. Without another word he left the stunned pilot, pleased that he was finally able to get the upper hand on the devious human. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Thane walked into their quarters. He could hear Tael in the shower and grinned. Tael was still on a combat high; Thane had seen it many times from him. He had a hard time winding down after intense combat. Without thought of repercussions, Thane walked into the bathroom, laying his clothes on the end of the bed before he entered. 

He was prepared for what happened next; in truth, he was thrilled at the prospect. Tael grabbed him, pressing him up against the wall. Without warning, Thane found himself lifted off the floor, Tael’s mouth plundering his. Thane locked his legs around Tael, reveling in the unrestrained desire as they moved together, both finding their release. 

Tael leaned his head against the wall. He wanted to collapse from the aftermath of the union, but with Thane wrapped around him, he had to remain standing. Slowly Thane lowered his legs to the floor, his head resting on Tael’s shoulder. 

They made their way to the bedroom. Tael didn’t bother with a towel. He enjoyed how the water cooled against his skin. The room was hot, so any relief was a boon. Usually it was Thane’s skin that kept him cool. 

“Are we leaving Illium now?” Thane asked as he dressed in loose pants. 

“No, I’m going to allow the crew to have a few days off, then we’ll head out. So, if there is stuff you want to do here, I would take the time while you have it,” Tael stated as he went to his computer to write up a report. 

“I have nothing I want to do here, but I wouldn’t mind heading for the Citadel before we go after the Collectors,” Thane told him. Tael hesitated; that would mean he would have to go back to old memories. He wanted to say no, but he couldn’t. 

“You’ll see him before then,” Tael told him. “After you see your son, we’ll retrieve the IFF. Then we’ll be going through the Omega IV relay.”

“Are we ready?” Thane asked.

“As ready as we will ever be,” Tael told him. He was about to add more, but Joker’s voice stopped him. 

“Shepard, you might want to get down here and stop Miranda and Jack from ripping the ship apart,” he announced. 

Tael didn’t bother grabbing a shirt as he stormed out of the room with Thane close behind him. They found the two girls in Miranda’s office; furniture flying, and biotics flaring dangerously as the two women yelled at each other. “What the fucking hell is going on here?” Tael thundered. Both women stopped their fighting and swung toward him. 

Silence descended as they both watched him worriedly. “The two of you will stay the fuck away from each other until this mission is over. When we are finished, if you wish to rip each other apart, fine; but if I have to separate you again, I am air locking the both of you,” Tael said and grinned maliciously.

“We hear you, Commander,” they both muttered. He watched Jack walk out of the room. Miranda started to say something, but Tael cut her off. “I don’t want to fucking hear it, Miranda.” Without another word, he walked out. Thane and Garrus were waiting for him in the Mess Hall. 

“I take it they are both alive,” Thane smirked. 

“Not for long, if this keeps up,” Tael glowered. 

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that from the look on Jack’s face when she left,” Thane replied.

“Hopefully. I have work to do,” Tael groaned as he left Thane and Garrus there.

They both watched him leave. “He seems calmer. Do you know what his plans are?” Garrus asked. 

“We are staying here for a bit, Tael says the crew needs shore leave,” Thane told him. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Tael stepped onto the CIC deck. Kelly was standing there, smiling at him. Tael wasn’t sure what to make of that; she normally went out of her way to avoid him. “Commander, you have messages waiting for you,” she told him. 

“Figures. Anything else I should know about?” he asked, still trying to figure out what changed her mood toward him. 

“No, but I heard you settled the fight between Jack and Miranda,” she commented. She was trying her best to be nice to him. After the visit with his father, she thought she understood him better. She forgave him long ago for what happened when they first met. He was right - she shouldn’t have been shocked at his treatment of her. 

From rumors she heard around the ship, it was normal for Shepard not to disrobe while he was with someone. She felt sorry for Thane, but she was also happy that Shepard was with the drell. Shepard wasn’t as easy to anger anymore, and the crew no longer feared for their lives. 

“Commander, what do you think our chances are when we go against the Collectors?” she asked. It was something that had been bothering her for a while now. 

“With the way the crew works together now, and the upgrades, we have a better chance than we did,” he answered her. He wasn’t about to give her false hope. He still couldn’t guarantee anyone’s survival. 

Tael left her there as he went to Mordin’s lab to finish the last of the upgrades.      


	15. Chapter 15

Tael looked at the message he just received and couldn’t believe what he was reading. It was information on the Shadow Broker’s whereabouts. The Illusive Man mentioned that Liara would want in on this action. The more he read, the more it piqued his interest.

He was about to pit himself against the Shadow Broker, one of the most powerful men in the galaxy. He has information on everyone important and yet his own location remained a mystery. So what are the chances that this location was legitimate? With a sigh, he sent a copy of it to a datapad so he could look at it more as he relaxed. He couldn’t believe he was actually contemplating this. Garrus was going to kill him. They were already on one major mission and now he was about to send them into another.  

He leaned back in his office chair and looked down at his desk. He smirked when he noticed that it had been tidied following his and Thane’s use of it during their last ‘intimate’ moment. Blank datapads were stacked neatly out of the way. Other objects that had been knocked around or off the desk had been picked up. He knew it hadn’t been Kelly; she avoided this place like a plague. 

Not that he blamed her. He cringed when he thought those words. Damn! Now he was growing a fucking conscience. 

He snatched up the datapad and walked over to the couch. It wasn’t often that he got to relax and he was going to enjoy it while it lasted. After doing Miranda’s mission, he needed the time off. The crew was on shore leave. Garrus opted to stay behind and calibrate the cannon some more. Mordin was in his office, and Samara was somewhere on the ship meditating. The only sound he heard was the soft drone of rushing water from the bathroom where Thane was.   

He smirked as a hardcover book caught his eyes; an actually book with paper for pages. It was another one of Thane’s things. At first he had thought it was going to be difficult having Thane stay with him; but to be honest, it had been almost too easy. Thane didn’t ask for more than he was willing to give, nor did he pressure him into anything. Tael actually enjoyed waking up with Thane beside him, and listening to the soft breathing as he slept. Though if anyone found out about it, he would deny it with his last breath. 

He turned his attention back to the datapad, wondering if they could actually pull this off. It was the type of mission he loved – lots of fighting against impossible odds. He glanced up when he heard the bathroom doors open. Speech eluded him; his breath stopped and the datapad in his hand was totally forgotten as it slowly dropped onto his lap. Thane walked out of the bathroom, a bath towel riding low on his hips. It never failed. Each time he saw the drell with barely any clothes on, all thought would drain from his mind. 

Thane smirked as he watched Tael’s eyes travel along his body. He felt heat spread through him. He couldn’t get over it. Last night, this morning and not even a few hours ago they were together; and yet with that one look, Thane burned for him again. He might as well not be wearing a towel; it didn’t hide his reaction from Tael’s eyes at the moment. 

Tael watched as he moved gracefully out of the bathroom. He smirked when he saw the affect he had on the drell. He wouldn’t push the issue, but the knowledge that he could bring arousal to him without having to touch him was a heady thought. Thane went to the drawers, grabbing not his usual leather, but loose cotton pants.   

“Doesn’t the steam bother you when you take a shower?” Tael asked, since Thane had remained in the bathroom for so long. He had to get his mind on something that didn’t contain a naked drell.  

“No, I don’t try and scald my skin,” he said with a pointed look. “Plus, I don’t need to shower as much as humans seem to need to. We don’t sweat as you do. Nor do our scales attract dirt as your skin does,” he explained casually. Tael’s mind drifted as he watched Thane wipe off the water that was beading on his chest. 

He turned his attention from Thane to the forgotten datapad that rested on his lap.   

“I find that scalding water relaxing,” Tael smirked. He had been taking cooler showers since Thane moved in so there wasn’t too much steam. His room was also a lot hotter and drier than he was used to. Tael could feel the difference between his quarters and the rest of the ship. Even Life Support wasn’t as dry or as hot as it was in here. He passed the datapad to Thane; he wanted to see what he thought of the mission. 

Thane came over to him and took the datapad that Tael passed him. His eyes widened; the Shadow Broker? This could be a very dangerous mission. He definitely wanted to be part of it. It sounded challenging and that was what he enjoyed. Unfortunately, he doubted that he would be able to go in stealthily. 

“What are you going to do?” Thane asked him as he passed the datapad back. 

“Well since it will be helping Liara, I won’t turn it down. But I want you and Garrus in on this one,” Tael stated. He needed people he knew he could trust; people that would have his back as he would have theirs. 

Thane watched him closely at the mention of the asari’s name. Tael had told him about his sexual relationship with her and Kelly. He wasn’t worried about that prospect of the meeting with the asari; he was more worried that this would bring back bad memories for Tael. 

He flashed back to the fight he had seen between Tael and Kelly. It was one of many, from what he understood. Thane had finally confronted Tael about his cold treatment of the Cerberus crew member. Now that he understood the reason for the animosity, he didn’t blame Kelly at all. Though he still thought Kelly should have known better, given Tael’s history. 

“So, do you think we have a chance?” Tael asked, tossing the datapad onto the coffee table. 

“It’ll be risky. Not much is known about our opponent,” Thane grinned. “But you should have this discussion with Garrus, too,” he said as he took a seat on the couch next to Tael.

“I’ll be doing that later,” he murmured as he leaned closer, his hot breath feathering the frills on the side of the drell’s neck. He smirked as Thane moaned, leaning into him. 

“Humans have unfair advantage. Our most sensitive spots are marked for you, but yours are still illusive,” Thane muttered. He hadn’t bothered with the data Mordin sent to him since he was already sleeping with Tael. He had been with the human countless times and hadn’t found a spot on him that drove him insane in the way that frills did with drell. 

There was the main organ, but he wanted a place that was as intimate as that. Or maybe humans didn’t have sensitive spots. If that was the case, then they would never be on equal footing. Tael knew how to get him riled in moments, but Thane couldn’t return the favor. 

Tael hesitated when felt Thane withdrawal. He didn’t push; instead, he rested his head on his shoulder and waited for Thane to say what was on his mind. When the silence stretched and it was starting to feel awkward, Tael decided to push. “You’ll have to talk about what’s bothering you sooner or later,” he said softly.

Thane met his eyes; he could see that Tael wasn’t upset, but curious. He wondered how he would react to this question. Would he become secretive and hold the information to himself or would he possibly shut down? Thane decided to take a chance. “Do humans have sensitive spots like drells do?” he asked calmly.

Tael leaned back, shocked for a moment; and then he remembered that Thane wasn’t of his race. There had been experimentation between them, but Tael hadn’t given him input or showed him ways to please him. “Yes, there are, though everyone is different on how they like those spots exploited,” he answered. Tael thought of a way to explain so that Thane would understand. Thane watched Tael, realizing that he was deep in thought, not shutting him out. Thane wasn’t sure what he was trying to decide. “Do you still have the information that Mordin sent you?” Tael asked. 

“Yes, though I hadn’t bothered reading it since we were already lovers,” Thane answered. 

“Good. Send it to my omnitool,” Tael told him. He skimmed through the information, picking out the specific parts that Thane needed. He read over the information quickly and raised a brow; it was extremely thorough and made him wonder about Mordin. “Here, I put it all together. Read this over and then I’ll explain more,” he said. He sat patiently as Thane read. He smirked as the drell’s frills reddened; a sure sign of desire. 

Thane turned to him, looking at him as if for the first time. Some of what he read he would never had thought of - the ears, the back of the neck and the inside of the thighs. He had already learnt the other places through testing. He should have read this over before. He was about to apologize, but Tael stopped him. “I know what you are going to say and don’t. I should have told you, but you know how I was with you about losing control. So I made sure that you never learnt,” Tael told him, bracing for harsh words or a fight. 

Thane chuckled, shaking his head. He already figured _that_ out. Now he wondered if Tael would be willing to give himself over to a new experience, or would he always have the upper hand when they were together? “Does that mean you are still not willing?” Thane asked.  He was expecting a flat ‘no’, but that wasn’t exactly what he got. 

“You want to learn? Have fun,” Tael said pointedly. He wondered if Thane would figure out that hot breath and a tongue wouldn’t be enough. Tael went to move over to the bed, but Thane stopped him in the center of the room. “I am not doing it where I am going to land on my ass on the floor,” Tael growled. 

Thane raised a brow. “If done right on one of those spot, Thane, my legs won’t hold me,” Tael muttered, a shiver running through his body at the thought. 

“I thought you haven’t let anyone close to you?” Thane asked curiously. 

“I have, once. That is how I know,” Tael answered, stilling beneath Thane’s hands. He could see the question in his eyes. “Make sure you want to know,” Tael warned. Thane searched his face and slowly nodded his head. Tael sighed. He wasn’t sure what Thane’s reaction would be. “Garrus,” he said quietly.

Thane wasn’t shocked; he already knew something had happened between them. He wasn’t sure of the exact details, but he knew they were more intimate than either of them would say. Thane moved closer to Tael’s tense body. He flicked his tongue on Tael’s ear, and a shuddering sigh left him. Thane smirked; he hadn’t thought the combination of his tongue and hot breath would bring Tael the amount of pleasure it appeared to. 

Tael knew his lover’s body very well. It was time Thane learnt more about humans, now that Tael was willing. Thane nipped his ear and Tael clutched at him, close to the drell’s enflamed frills. Thane placed Tael’s hand on his shoulder. He purred as Tael’s fingernails bit into his skin when he nipped his ear once again. Tael cried out, a shiver racing though his body. 

Thane turned Tael around so that his back was pressed against him. Thane used what he already knew; licking, sucking and nipping his way down Tael’s neck. Tael’s head lolled back on Thane’s shoulder, giving him better access. Tael thought about asking Thane for what he truly wanted, but he didn’t think Thane would go for it. There had only been one lover who had been able to dominate him from start to finish and he wanted it again. He was always in control, but there were times when he wanted someone else to take the lead. There was only one problem with that - trust. Tael had to trust the person and that wasn’t easy for him. There were only a few individuals he had ever trusted, and those were Thane, Garrus, Wrex, and Joker.  

He wasn’t looking to be tied, or strapped down. He wanted to feel another’s strength dominating him. He cried out when Thane dragged his teeth lightly down the column of his neck. “Harder,” Tael breathed. 

Thane clamped his teeth against Tael’s skin, where the shoulder met his neck. Tael’s body convulsed and Thane tightened his grip. Tael struggled to turn around, but Thane held him tight so he couldn’t move. “God, Thane, have you found out enough yet?” Tael gasped, his pants tightening painfully. He was close to cuming; if the drell kept this up, he would be spilling in moments. 

Thane smiled against his neck. He tried to move to the back of Tael’s neck, but Tael wasn’t cooperating. Thane grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head forward. He clamped his teeth on the back of his neck, more in warning than in pleasure. He did it as a show of dominance. Tael’s shout reverberated off the walls as his hips thrust forward, and his release rushed through him like an explosion. His legs buckled beneath him and Thane had to catch him before he fell to the floor. Thane grinned. His unintentional act had a fine ending. He carried Tael to the bed, smiling smugly. 

“There, happy now?” Tael slurred through his coital bliss. 

Thane moved down to Tael’s hips and helped him out of his pants. He thought it odd that humans didn’t orgasm more than once. It took a few minutes for them to recover. Though they had found a way around that, Thane smirked as he recalled the memory.

Thane moved over Tael as he recovered, using his own fluid to prepare him for their joining. Tael kissed him long and deep as Thane’s body covered him.  

                                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Thane and Garrus sat alone in the Mess Hall. Tael was on the CIC deck, talking with Joker about the new mission. “Garrus, what happened between you and Tael?” Thane asked. The question had been bothering him. He didn’t understand why their relationship didn’t proceed further than it had. 

“What do you mean?” Garrus asked warily. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to have this conversation with Thane. He wasn’t certain how much Thane knew of his history with the Commander. He didn’t want to be the one to tell Thane about Chora’s Den and what they did. Nor did he want to get into that one night they spent with the asari. 

“I know you and Tael were intimate at one point. What happened?” Thane asked. 

“That is a question I am not answering, Krios. Tael doesn’t even know, so leave it alone,” Garrus snapped. 

Thane felt like he just stepped between the two of them. He could see Garrus’ feelings plainly and wasn’t sure what to do. He felt awkward taking Tael from him, especially with what little he knew of their history. But what he couldn’t understand was why Garrus was always helping him, if he still had feelings for Tael. 

“Then why help me with Tael?” Thane asked. 

“He’s different with you. You bring back what he used to be. Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been an ass; but he had a sense of humor. You could talk to him. What was here wasn’t Tael; it was something that Cerberus brought back. I had never known him to be so cold. Cold enough to do things that he would never have thought about doing before,” Garrus told him. 

Thane knew what he was talking about. Tael was never cared for his own safety, or about innocents. He shouted at crew members when they crossed his path on his off days; which was practically every day when he first came on board. He figured it had been going on for a while the way the crew fearfully watched him. Those looks had disappeared recently; he was easier on people, and he wasn’t taking unnecessary risks anymore. 

Garrus watched Thane for a moment and went on intuition. “Thane, if Tael and I ever explored what we had further, it would never have worked. Tael needs someone who can stand up to him without flinching. And he is better after everything else you’ve been able to do for him,” Garrus told him before leaving the table. 

Thane watched him walk away, and he groaned when he saw Mordin walking toward him. “Need to do tests,” Mordin stated pointedly. 

“Is it necessary?” Thane asked, his voice dropping dangerously low. 

“Yes. Think I might be close to cure, but not sure. Need another sample of your lung tissue,” Mordin said, his eyes lighting up. Thane didn’t place much stock in what he said. He wasn’t about to get his hopes up. 

“Fine,” Thane muttered with a glare at the salarian. 

                                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Thane lay on the bed; his chest hurt and his breath was coming in shallow gasps. Another attack was on its way and he was all alone. He didn’t have enough breath to ask for Mordin or Tael; not that he would even if he could. This was something that he been through before, though his other attacks had never been this bad. When they were, Tael was usually here, helping him relax.  The stress of being in Mordin’s lab and all the tests he had to endure while there had brought this on. He felt like a lab rat that couldn’t escape. When he finally reached his room,  he had been too stressed to relax.  

He tried to take a deep breath, and it was a mistake on his part. A barking cough ripped through his body, and his lungs clamped shut for a second; keeping him from getting a breath. Panic started setting in. It was the worst possible thing to do, but it was a natural reaction. He tried to relax his body, but another bout of coughing stopped him. He had forgotten to take his pills today and he knew that was part of the problem. 

His eyes were squeezed shut. Even when the doors opened, he was in too much pain to open them. Soft footsteps came to the bed, and he felt Tael take a seat beside him. His warm hand ran along the ridges on his head, slowly making its way to his forehead. His body didn’t relax right away. He couldn’t sit up at the moment to stretch out his lungs.

Tael had been on the CIC deck when EDI notified him that Thane was having a problem. Fear had raced through him as he hurried to the elevator, ignoring everyone in his path. What he saw when he walked in stopped him and brought a cold sweat to his back. Thane was lying on his side, curled up; holding his sides and chest as he hacked. Tael could hear his gasping breaths. Without thought, he walked over to the bed, putting on a calm mask as he lightly ran his hands along Thane’s ridges; slowly making his way to his forehead. It was a path he knew well. He often did this as it helped him to relax. 

It took longer than normal for Thane to relax, and that worried Tael more. He kept the movements slow and soft, waiting for it to work its magic. He heard Thane take a deep breath, but it still wasn’t deep enough. At least he wasn’t holding his sides anymore. Tael knew what needed to be done. 

Tael stripped off his shirt and lifted Thane’s upper body from the bed. He slipped behind Thane, moving him into a sitting position.  

Thane felt the bed move. His eyes opened when he felt Tael lifting him so that he was partially sitting up. “Relax,” Tael murmured as he slipped in behind him. Thane closed his eyes once more, emotions flowing through him as Tael pulled him against his bare chest. 

Thane focused on Tael’s deep voice as he spoke softly. The words were a soothing balm, and shocking to hear from him. Slowly Thane’s body started to relax and he was able to take half breaths without coughing. 

“Did you take your meds today?” Tael asked softly. Thane shook his head, not able to vocalize the answer. Tael knew he had forgotten them; he didn’t fight taking them anymore. Once he was calm, Tael could get him one of the pills.

Tael glanced at the clock beside his bed. It had been four hours and Thane was finally sleeping, breathing evenly. He was using him as a pillow once again, but it helped with his breathing and his cool skin helped Tael with the temperature in the room. So it was a win – win. Tael closed his eyes, holding Thane close as sleep claimed them both. 

Thane wasn’t sure how much time had passed; it could have been hours or days. His brain was just starting to register that a lot of time had passed. Tael was snoring softly behind him. Thane was breathing normally and once again he found himself using Tael as a pillow. He went to move so he could use the washroom, but Tael stopped him; his arms tightening around him. “Don’t leave,” Tael murmured, still asleep. Thane smiled lightly, kissing him as he moved away. 

He came back to find Tael curled on his side, holding Thane’s pillow in his arms. Thane smirked; he was going to have a tough time getting that from him. Instead of fighting for the pillow, he went to the bedside table to take one of his pills. He stopped when EDI’s voice cut through the room. 

“Mordin is requesting permission to enter,” EDI informed him. Tael was still dead to the world. He knew there wasn’t much noise that could wake him. Thane could do what he wanted around the room and not have to worry about disturbing him. As soon as the door opened, however, Tael was usually on alert with a gun in his hand. 

Thane sat beside Tael and tried to wake him. All he got was a grunt and a mumble. Thane told him that Mordin was coming in, and received another grunt in answer. “Allow him to enter,” Thane said. He knew nothing was going to happen now and Mordin wouldn’t end up dying. 

Mordin came in. “Want to take a scan after last night’s attack,” Mordin stated briskly. 

“How did you know about last night’s attack?” Thane asked distrustfully. 

“Tael ordered EDI to monitor you when he is not up here. EDI informed us of the episode. Tael came up here. He knew you wouldn’t relax if I came up,” Mordin shrugged with the scanner in his hand. 

“Thane, let him do the scan or he is going to annoy me all day long,” Tael grumbled from the bed and then proceeded to pull the pillow over his head. 

Thane sighed and nodded, and Mordin did a quick scan. “Right lung at 65%, left lung at 64%. Good,” Mordin said with a pleased voice, beaming at the numbers.

“If the numbers are so fucking good, then why was last night’s attack the worst he has had?” Tael said, sitting up and glowering at the salarian. He didn’t care that he was sitting there nude, or that Mordin was looking at him fearfully. 

“A lot of things can make attack worse; stress and panic among them. Last night’s attack probably due to panic more than stress. Stress might have triggered it while doing tests yesterday, but tests were minor. No need for high stress,” Mordin stated in his quick manner. 

“What type of tests did you do?” Tael asked in a cold voice. 

“Cannot discuss with you. Patient confidentiality,” Mordin said. 

“Thane?” Tael asked, turning to the stunned drell. 

“He needed another sample of my lungs for more tests; then he needed blood, tissue and fluid samples. He checked out the organs that had been affected by the disease,” Thane answered quietly.

“Will need clean tissue samples, Commander,” Mordin told him with a pointed look. 

“You’ll get them,” Tael snapped.   

Thane sat there, stunned as he heard the numbers Mordin had announced. He barely heard the argument between Mordin and Tael. Two weeks ago they had been lower, much lower. Now he had more than half capacity in his lungs. He could feel his eyes burn at this news, and a small ray of hope bloomed within him. 

It took Thane twice to find his voice. “Mordin, did you find a cure?” he asked tentatively.

“No, the pills are not the cure; though they help, as you can see. You are to take these new pills. They will give me a better idea of what the cure should be. Might have a cure through these pills, but I need to find proper amount for ingredients. Also, I’ll be here every day to do readings on your lungs and organs,” Mordin stated, then proceeded to the door. Thane sat heavily on the bed as he tried not to cry. His eyes burned; he could feel them watering. Despite his best efforts, he felt the first tear streak down his cheek. 

Strong arms wrapped around his waist. Tael heard the catch in Thane’s voice and knew this was going to be next to impossible for him. Thane didn’t want to get his hopes up. Tael knew this, but Mordin had just given him hope. Tael held him as a shudder ran through Thane’s body. Tael pulled him closer, his face resting on Thane’s shoulder as he hummed softly. It was another thing they found out that soothed Thane. Right now Tael would do anything to sooth him if it meant he lived longer. 

They sat on the bed, holding each other. Thane was still processing what the doctor said. There were no more tears, but he still felt raw. After years of knowing he would eventually die, there might be a cure. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. The worse part would be to have them dashed; but Tael wouldn’t make that easy, now that he heard there was a possibility for a cure. He would probably force Thane to believe, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to open himself for that. 

Thane focused on Tael’s humming; it was deep and gravelly. It was a soothing sound for him. He had told Tael that once and it was the first time he had ever seen Tael blush. It was amusing to see, even though Tael thre  
as used to threats; he got at least one a day.

“Tael, what happens if he does have a cure? I’ve been prepared to die, and you’ve been expecting me to die. I don’t know what to do,” Thane stated softly, sharing his fear. He just hoped he didn’t do the wrong thing and make this too personal. The last thing he needed was for Tael to shut down. 

The silence thickened and Thane prepared to move. Tael tightened his arms so Thane couldn’t move, and he felt the drell turn in his arms. Thane hesitated at the look on Tael’s face; he wasn’t closing down as he had feared. Instead, he had a thoughtful look on his face. “Live, just like I had to. Just don’t lose yourself…” Tael trailed off. 

“The Collectors’ ship cut through the old Normandy like butter. I went to get Joker and helped him to the pod safely. Another shot was fired and I was forced away from the pod before I could get in. Somehow my air canister was damaged and I couldn’t breathe. My first reaction was to fight for breath, but then there was peace. I didn’t have to worry about anything anymore. I was free – from the Council, from saving the universe. I don’t even remember hitting the atmosphere….” he said, remembering it all once again. The sense of peace had been so overwhelming. 

Thane sat there quietly, listening intently. One hand held Tael’s, lightly running his finger along his rough skin. Thane could see Tael was lost in his memories; a small smile on his mouth, and a look of contentment in his eyes. 

Tael broke free from those memories and met Thane’s eyes. “Then Cerberus brought me back, and that contentment I felt was gone. I had no choice but to live. When I woke, I didn’t even realize I had died. It wasn’t until a few days later that I had a dream and everything came back to me. Everything that I missed out on when I died. At first the only thing that kept me going was my rage, my hate and my walls. Having Garrus here helped a lot, as did Joker,” he said. Tael blinked slowly, trying to find the right words. “You live the life you have. That’s all you can do.” Tael shrugged, his discomfort skyrocketing. He tried not to squirm where he sat, and he forced himself not to take his hands out of Thane’s. 

Thane watched him and smiled. He could see that Tael had just pushed past his own limits. Thane let go of his hand and moved back to give Tael room to bolt, if he needed. He wasn’t offended; what Tael told him meant more than he could put into words. He wasn’t going to tell him that right now, however. Tael wouldn’t be able to handle that admission at the moment. 

“If Mordin has a cure, it looks like that you will have your quarters back,” Thane stated, testing the waters. A part of him wanted to see how far he could push his luck and another part wanted to see if Tael would jump at the opportunity to have him out of his room. 

“Why bother? Your bed is too fucking small, unless you’re sleeping on the floor,” Tael grumbled.  Thane hid the smile that wanted to break free. 

“Fine. Then we are getting some fish for that empty tank,” Thane said, trying to relieve some of Tael’s tension.

“Whatever. But you’re feeding them. I don’t have time for that type of crap,” Tael scowled as Thane chuckled.

“How come you haven’t bought anything for this room?” Thane asked, now that he saw Tael relaxing from his show of emotions. He wanted to help Tael get his mind off of those thoughts. He wasn’t one to show that much emotion and he hated it when he did; though he was slowly coming around. In a very short time, Tael had helped him with his molting problem, dealt with his father and now he was once again coming face to face with another strong emotion. He didn’t run as Thane expected he would. He stayed and opened himself up. So now, in an effort to allow Tael to find his footing once more, Thane asked questions that would annoy him.  

“Before you came along, I was barely here. I slept and showered here, and that was it,” Tael shrugged. “Get whatever you want for the room. I don’t give a fuck.” 

Thane kept silent, hiding his triumph. When he first moved in here, he had asked about fish and had received a flat out “no”. Decorating the room had gotten him “hell no”, with a few other choice words added in.

“I noticed you don’t have anything for music up here,” Thane murmured thoughtfully. 

“I killed it, along with my clock and whatever else had been on that bedside table,” Tael muttered with a grin. 

“I would ask why, but knowing your temper back then, the answer is obvious. Who set you off that time?” Thane asked. 

“It was the night after you and I met in the sparring room,” Tael replied and shrugged uncomfortably. He didn’t want to get into details of why it happened. He didn’t want to admit to having dreams about the drell that early, though he probably already knew. 

Thane turned to him with a knowing look in his eyes, and a smug smile came over his face. He leaned close to Tael, his lips lightly brushing his mouth. “Your eyes give you away,” he murmured before deepening the kiss. Tael was going to refute Thane’s claim, but Thane didn’t give him a chance.

Thane backed away when Tael relaxed once more. “So, what do you want to do about Mordin? There is no option of air-locking him,” Tael grinned. 

“If we are to find a cure, I will need to do these tests,” Thane sighed irritably. 

“Well, if you want company while that damn salarian pokes and prods you, just let me know,” Tael said as he stretched out on the bed. He had been hoping to sleep in today, but that wasn’t happening. 

“Are we going to see Liara today?” Thane asked. 

“Hmm, yeah, we’ll be heading shortly. You’re still coming,” Tael told him. There was no way in hell he was letting the drell out of his sight, especially not after his last attack. “Oh, and take your old pills. We don’t know what type of reaction you’ll have with the new ones and I prefer not to test it on a dangerous mission like this.” 

Thane turned to him, grinning. “Mordin will not like that,” he said, chuckling. 

“I’ll handle him,” Tael said darkly. The thought of what Thane went through burned him. He couldn’t believe that Mordin would put him through all that testing in one day without even informing him.   

 

                                


	16. Chapter 16

Thane watched Shepard and Liara as they talked quietly; having just killed a Spectre that was working for the Shadow Broker. Thus far, this mission hadn’t been easy. First they find Liara missing and C-Sec investigators searching her house. Next they found the building where she was to meet her salarian contact and watched in astonishment as it exploded. Shepard took that hard, and it took both Garrus and himself to hold the commander back before he did something stupid. 

Shepard let out annoyed sigh as Liara walked away. Slowly, he made his way to Thane and Garrus. “So what is happening now?” Garrus asked. 

“Looks like Liara will be coming with us on the ship. We are going to one of the Shadow Broker’s bases. She thinks it’s his main base,” Shepard answered with a roll of his eyes. 

“This should be fun. Is it even possible to break into the Shadow Broker’s base?” Garrus asked worriedly. 

“I don’t have a clue, but it looks like we are going to find out,” Shepard grumbled tiredly.  

“Does Ms. T’Soni have a plan?” Thane asked. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this mission. Shepard obviously didn’t like it. Something more must be going on if he was actually agreeing to it. 

“She better have one or we are fucked seven ways to Sunday,” Tael muttered, running his hand through his hair in aggravation.

“When are we heading out?” Garrus asked, smirking when he saw Tael’s hair sticking up. 

“Shortly, there are a few things that I need to do first,” Shepard muttered, scowling at Thane. He had made a promise to Thane and he was sticking to it, even though he hated it. 

“Where are you going to put Liara?” Garrus asked. He would have suggested Life Support, but he didn’t want to presume. 

“Put her in my old room. I’m not using it anymore,” Thane shrugged. Garrus glanced at Tael to gauge his reaction. Tael gave a nod and Garrus left them both, heading back to the Normandy to make the necessary arrangements for Liara.  

“Let’s go get your shopping done, and then I’m grabbing something to eat that isn’t Gardener’s cooking,” Tael muttered, a scowl on his face. That man really needed to learn how to cook. He had been threatening to airlock him since the beginning of this trip; yet for some odd reason, he hadn’t yet. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Shepard and Thane boarded the Normandy. Tael was ready to leave now that all of Thane’s errands were done. He was still scowling at Thane’s back as they made their way to their room. He still couldn’t believe that he let Thane talk him into purchasing fish and some model ships. Tael didn’t see the point in it. 

He listened to Thane’s purrs as he watched the fish. _Well, that was one reason to tolerate them,_ Tael thought with a small smile. He walked up behind Thane. “You enjoy the fish that much?” Tael asked quietly, enjoying the sounds of Thane’s purrs. 

“It brings back memories of Kahje,” he answered softly. Tael wrapped one hand around his waist as Thane leaned back against him. 

“Do you ever think about going back there?” Tael asked as he, too, watched the fish. He hated to admit it, but they were actually quite relaxing. 

“Sometimes, but all that is left there for me are memories. Kolyat is on the Citadel now, so there isn’t any real need to go there,” Thane answered quietly. 

“I can understand that,” Tael answered as he moved away from Thane and over to the bags that littered the floor. He watched the drell as he stood there, entranced by the fish, and shook his head slowly. The next time Thane thought about going shopping, he was going to hide. It wasn’t what he bought, but having to negotiate with all of the clerks drove him positively crazy. 

Thane felt a pang of regret that Tael hadn’t stayed by his side. He allowed the fish to relax him for a few minutes more, until the sounds of bags being moved about broke the tranquility of the moment. Thane moved away from the aquarium to give Tael a hand with their purchases. It didn’t take long for them to empty most of the bags. With a small smile, Thane took two of the packages from Tael. Those were for later. 

Thane smirked as Tael gave him a quizzical look when he took the two bags. Thane had left him alone so he could do his own shopping. He smiled as he remembered the glare Tael had given him. He knew another shopping trip with Tael would be a long time in coming, if ever.  

Tael was just heading for the shower when EDI announced that Liara wanted entry. “You can get that. I need to wash this blood off of me,” Tael grumbled. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with Liara. She wanted to talk about the night they had spent together on the original Normandy; when he had slept with her and then cast her aside. He didn’t want to; it was in the past and that was where he wanted to leave it. Thane knew about what happened between him and Liara, so he wasn’t worried about that; but he wasn’t sure about the person Liara had become. She wasn’t the innocent girl he remembered and that worried him. 

Tael leaned back against the wall of the shower, allowing the water to run over him and relax his tense muscles. He tried to keep his mind blank, but he couldn’t. Things he had done in his past were creeping up on him and creating emotions that he wasn’t used to. Months ago it wouldn’t have bothered him, but now it did and he hated it. He hated that he was growing a conscience, and that he cared that he had harmed his old companions. 

As if that wasn’t enough to worry about, there was Thane. Tael had noticed him struggling to breathe a few times on this mission. Mordin had said he had over half of his original lung capacity, but that didn’t mean much when he still had attacks. He hoped the new pills that Mordin had given him would make a difference. 

With a sigh he left the shower, keeping a soft towel secularly wrapped around his waist; just in case Liara was still in the room. He hesitated a moment when he felt the tension in the air. He noticed Thane’s tense posture as he sat on the bed. Tael moved up to Thane, seeing him scowl toward Liara; who was seated on the couch, glaring at the drell. Tael was shocked that Thane was showing such emotion in front of Liara; though it was possible that he could sense more about Thane than he was really displaying. 

Tael walked up to Thane, brushing his hand lightly across the back of his head and over his ridges; drawing his attention. Tael gave him a questioning look, trying to find out what caused the tension in the room. Thane shook his head, moving his head away from Tael’s touch. “I’ll leave the two of you alone,” he bit out, anger visible in his eyes as he looked up at Tael.

Thane glared at the asari once more as he headed for the elevator. He was upset by what she said. She told him that he was only a toy for Tael, and that the Commander would abandon him when he got bored. He knew it wasn’t the truth, but her words hit a nerve deep inside of him. If she had spoken to him months ago, he would have agreed that Tael was only using him; but now he knew that wasn’t so.  He was just about to walk out, but Tael’s voice stopped him. “Thane, wait a moment. Liara, leave,” he ordered in a cold voice that Thane remembered well. It was one he hadn’t heard him use on the crew in a while. Tael was glaring at Liara, a murderous look in his eyes; watching as she walked out of the room. 

Thane moved from the door, giving her room to leave. Tael sighed heavily and seated himself on the bed. “What happened?” Tael asked calmly, the anger vanishing as he watched his lover from across the room. 

For a moment, Thane felt like a fool for allowing her words to bother him. For one small moment he had believed them; hence the reason they had hit a nerve. He didn’t want to admit it, or to show that he was insecure. Showing that to Tael would be a mistake; he would probably think insecurity was a sign of being overly emotional. Thane shook his head, clearing the jumbled thoughts from his mind. Tael had showed he cared in more ways than Thane had expected; but what he truly wanted, he wasn’t sure if he would ever get. Tael already said that he would never admit to “undying love”. Thane wasn’t looking for undying love, but he wanted more than simple caring. He wanted to hear the words, even though Tael had shown him in more ways than one that he did truly love him. 

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice when Tael moved to stand in front of him. He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt Tael’s warm hand on the side of his face. “What did she say that upset you?” he asked softly, and Thane had to fight the urge to tell him everything. 

“It’s not important,” Thane answered firmly, meeting his gaze defiantly. 

“Now, why don’t I believe that?” Tael asked silkily. Thane made to leave once more, but Tael caught his arm; making Thane hesitate for a moment. That was all the time Tael needed to shove him against the fish tank. He thought Tael would pin his arms, but he didn’t. He pushed him firmly against the tank, his hands on his shoulder. Thane could get away at any time, but he stayed where he was; unable to tear his gaze away from Tael’s. The anger he was feeling turned his eyes a bright, glowing red.  

Thane’s breath caught when his back hit the fish tank. Tael eyes locked with his, and Thane couldn’t look away if he wanted to. His breath escaped in a gasp as Tael leaned into him. Thane raised a hand, running it along Tael’s cheek; touching his glowing scars. 

Tael emotions were rushing over him. He saw the pain on Thane’s face and it did something to his insides. He wanted to erase that look from his eyes; he wanted to see them calm and content as they had been before Liara’s arrival. His lover’s pain had brought out his anger; not at Thane, but at Liara. He was furious that she would put that look in his eyes. 

Tael was about to do something he had tried once in Thane’s room; the night that he finally gave in to Thane. He had tried, but their passions had run too high. It had been so new to him that he felt like a fool. This time he didn’t feel like a fool; Thane wouldn’t think he was and that made all the difference to him. He reached up to the hand that was gently tracing his cheek and laced his fingers through Thane’s. He heard Thane’s breath catch, and that one sound made him smile. He leaned into Thane’s touch, allowing him to explore at his leisure. 

Tael reached down with his free hand, undoing the buckles of Thane’s jacket and allowing it to fall to the ground. Thane reached for the latches of his vest, but Tael stopped him, chuckling. “Leave it,” he commanded softly. Thane looked at him stunned, not sure if he had heard his lover right. Tael was usually the type to rush things. Now it seemed he wanted to take his time. Thane didn’t mind in the least, but it was unusual to be stopped from disrobing. His breath sped up in anticipation when Tael took both of his hands, raising them above his head and trapping them against the fish tank. 

Tael leaned in close to Thane. He loved the feel of the muscles twitching beneath his skin as he fought with himself not to rush. He leaned into Thane, brushing light kisses across the edge of his mouth, teasing him; slowly trailing down to his red ribbing. He barely touched them with his mouth, but allowed his breath to fan them. Thane moaned, his eyes closed; his hands clenching Tael’s tightly. “Don’t close your eyes,” Tael ordered softly. 

Thane’s eyes snapped open at the quiet order, so shocked was he to hear it. They rarely spoke to each other during their lovemaking. They had communicated when they were learning each other’s bodies; but that was merely to explain the places they each found their greatest pleasure. 

Tael smiled softly when he saw Thane’s shock and pleasure. He lightly trailed his hand along the bare skin of the drell’s arms, memorizing every contour that he passed. He paid close attention to what made him shiver, and what made his breath catch. He wanted to remember every detail of this moment. Thane tried to move his hands from the glass. “Don’t move,” Tael grinned challengingly. Thane’s breath caught, and his body shivered as pleasure coursed through him. This had been his fantasy with Tael and his wife, but he never voiced what he wanted. His wife would have never done something like this. He found immense pleasure in allowing Tael to have control over him. Even more amazing was how Tael was leading him slowly through their foreplay, his voice a purr against his skin. 

When Thane didn’t move his hands, Tael sucked on the red ribs along his neck until he could feel him fighting not to move. Thane blinked his eyes as he looked at Tael. He had imagined this was a game of dominance, but he was clearly wrong. The emotions that swam in Tael’s eyes stole his breath easier than anything else Tael could have done. 

At the moment Thane felt cherished and loved, if such a thing was possible with this particular lover. He purred low in his throat, filled with contentment. He felt Tael’s mouth travel along his frills to his jaw, where he stopped. Before Thane could react, Tael leaned forward, whispering softly into his ear. “Open your eyes. I want to see you,” Tael said, and Thane’s blood raced through his veins. 

Thane wanted to open his eyes, but he was afraid. He knew what he would see in Tael’s eyes, but did Tael know what was there? And if Tael saw how deeply Thane felt, would he run? Would Tael leave him when he realized that Thane loved him? Thane didn’t know what to do. Tael was just starting to show his true feelings, and he was just learning how to let his guard down. Would his own raw emotion push the Commander away? 

“Open them, Thane,” Tael said firmly. Thane held his breath as he slowly opened his eyes. He waited for anger or fear to fill Tael’s face, but it never came. 

Teal searched Thane’s eyes; he could see what Thane had been hiding and finally had a name for it. His first reaction was to run, but he couldn’t do that. For some reason beyond his knowledge, he couldn’t run from the drell standing in front of him. He now knew that Thane loved him. Thane could no longer hide it, though he seemed to be trying to. Tael looked at him in wonder; he leaned in, kissing him with all the feelings that were whirling around inside of him. 

Thane’s breath caught, and his hand left the glass of the fish tank to wrap around Tael, holding him tightly as relief welled within him. Thane deepened the kiss, desperately wanting to be with him, now that he knew Tael wouldn’t run away. Tael turned them so that Thane was walking backward, toward the bed. 

Thane stopped when his knees hit the bed, but Tael wouldn’t let him lay back. Slowly he undid the latches on his vest, drawing out each movement; his hand brushing against his skin with every movement. Thane’s eye drifted closed as he fought for control. Tael had stripped him bare, right to his soul. What he had been meditating on lately was being answered by the one person he prayed would open to him before he died. 

Tael moved closer to Thane when he had disrobed them both. His hands wandered over Thane’s honed body, paying tribute to each scar that marred the perfect skin. He dropped to his knees, never taking his eyes from Thane’s. He kissed and soothed each scar and stripe, opening himself to the drell. He didn’t know what Liara did to Thane, but he knew Thane needed this moment. He did, as well, but he hadn’t known it until he saw the look in Thane’s eyes. It felt like another wall of his had crumbled, leaving the shield he always had in place that much more brittle for this man. He was the first lover that made him feel like this; the first that had made it through his barriers with ease. 

Thane tensed as he watched Tael accept each and every scar. Even the ones he obtained when he went after his wife’s killers; he accepted them without knowing where they came from.

“Don’t close me out. Don’t hide. Not this time, Thane,” Tael said softly when he noticed Thane starting to shut himself off. That alone brought fear to him; the idea that might have done something to push him away. Thane watched him and let out a shaky sigh, a tear slipping slowly down his cheek. 

Tael stood up, taking Thane’s face in his hand and licking the tear from his face. “Never hide from me. You don’t have to; I already know all that you feel,” Tael said, watching the assassin with a soft smile. Thane searched his eyes; he could see fear, but also acceptance. Hope flared in Thane’s chest; a hope that maybe someday soon, Tael would be able to say the words he so desperately needed to hear. Hope that he would live a long life with this man, who accepted everything about him without question.

Thane leaned into him, kissing him; deepening it slowly until Tael moaned. He took Tael’s bottom lip between his teeth, drawing it out until Tael shuddered with pleasure. Dark, passion-filled eyes met his own, and Thane knew he had found his true home. Irikah had been his love; she had given him a son, but he had been young. He had to hide who he was, and he had to become something that he wasn’t. He still worked as an assassin, as it was all he knew; but she didn’t comprehend what that fully meant and so he kept his work away from home. He’d become complacent and she had died because of his folly. He now knew he never should have married her. She was a wife who had her heart broken because of him many times. Now there was another he loved, but this one understood; knew he killed and loved him anyway. They were the same, yet different. He wouldn’t have to worry about someone hunting Tael down. If someone did, that person would be one more added to a long list, and that wouldn’t bother Tael. He would find it challenging. He knew he loved Tael, but it was so much more than that.

They lay on the bed, with Tael on top. The Commander tasted every inch of Thane’s body, except the one place that he wanted him most. Thane bit his lip, stifling a moan when Tael’s lips moved behind his knees. He wasn’t sure what Tael would think of the sound that would have come out of his mouth. He made normal passion sounds for the human, but there were other noises that a drell made that he had stifled more than once. He knew that Tael didn’t mind his purring, but what would he think to hear him growl? That one thought broke through his lust filled haze and made him hesitate. Instantly, he realized something important – he accused Tael of hiding his true self, when in fact he was guilty of the same. 

Tael heard him stifle a noise, and he travelled back up Thane’s body until he was face to face with the drell. He kissed him deeply until he moaned in his mouth. “I want to hear you,” he panted breathlessly. Thane searched those eyes, unsure what Tael would do if he heard him.

“Fine, then you leave me no choice,” Tael grinned, moving back down his body, revisiting each spot where he felt the drell tense up. He grinned when he heard another noise cut off short. He repeated the process, this time nipping the place behind his knees. He was rewarded for his efforts; the sound was unusual, but Tael found it erotic as hell. It was between a purr and a growl, with a moan mixed in. He did it again so he could hear the noise once more. He moved higher, nipping the inside of Thane’s thighs; this time, Thane didn’t even attempt to stifle his voice. 

Tael rolled Thane over, continuing his search once again. Thane’s brain was filled with pleasure. His body was burning with the desire to find release. He moved his hips against the covers when Tael rolled him over. He reveled in the feel of Tael tasting him, and he hissed when he felt the human travel lower on his body. 

Tael smiled as he heard the noises coming from Thane, urging him on. Some of the sounds would cut off abruptly and Tael knew they were out of his hearing range. He stopped when he reached his rear and grinned. He lightly bit the taunt muscles there, and felt Thane quiver. Tael applied more pressure, and was rewarded with another of those erotic noises. He bit down harder, watching Thane’s body carefully. Thane cried out, shuddering as his hips involuntarily thrust forward. Tael allowed him to relax for a moment before continuing further down his body. 

Thane tried to keep his pleasure under control. He knew he was close to spilling. When Tael bit down once again, he lost control; his orgasm ripping through him. He could feel Tael smile against his skin as he slowly continued his exploration. His mind blurred as he gave himself over to pure pleasure. He purred when he felt Tael moving back up his body. He thought for sure that Tael would enter him, but he didn’t. Thane growled in pleasure as he felt Tael’s body pressed against his back, his stiff length pressed hotly against him.        

Tael rolled him over once again, his heated skin brushing against the drell’s cooler body. He reached down, clasping Tael’s hard length in his hand. Tael bucked his hips and then moved his hands away. “Remember, humans are not like drells. We don’t have the pleasure of multiple orgasms,” Tael smirked. 

Thane smiled, his eyes lighting up. Tael’s breath caught; he loved the rare moments when Thane would show him the pure joy he felt. Not a mere tilt of the lips or a half smile. This was a smile that lit his entire face. Tael leaned down, kissing him. What was supposed to be a tender kiss soon turned heated as they both dueled for control; lips, tongues and teeth battling for dominance. 

Tael broke off the kiss, panting heavily. He was fighting for control of his body. He didn’t want this moment to end too soon. Tael moved down so he was kneeling between Thane’s legs. He grabbed the bottle of oil from the drawer and coated his fingers liberally. He grinned when Thane moved further up on the bed, giving him more room. 

Thane wasn’t sure what Tael’s plan was, but his body thrummed with anticipation when Tael knelt between his legs. Thane watched him take his length into his mouth and groaned loudly. He wasn’t sure what to do with his legs; Tael had allowed his legs on his shoulders only once. Since then, Tael wouldn’t allow it. Thane understood when he explained the problem. He was shocked at what he had heard and for a moment, wondered what type of lovers the Commander entertained, that he would be afraid of his neck being broken. 

Thane’s back arched when he felt Tael’s throat spasm around him; pleasure shooting through his system. His breath left him in a hiss as Tael drew back slowly, his tongue circling around his sensitive head. 

Tael grabbed Thane’s legs and placed them on his shoulders. He made sure he held Thane’s eyes when he did it. _No more hiding,_ Tael reminded himself as fear rushed through him for a moment. He trusted Thane; he had trusted him the first time he did this, but old habits die hard. 

Thane was about to say something, but all thought left his mind when he felt Tael’s fingers slip inside of him. It was too much and Thane spilled himself into Tael’s mouth; but that didn’t stop the human from continuing his ministrations. Thane’s legs tightened as the pleasure never stopped. He didn’t think he could take any more, but Tael stopped when he found his release for a third time. 

Thane sighed in pleasure when he felt Tael enter him. Thane’s eyes never left his lover’s. He watched all the emotions flow across them, and reveled in the knowledge that he had made it past one more of Tael’s barriers. 

Tael laced his fingers with Thane’s as he raised them above Thane’s head. They moved in unison, a rhythm as old as time. There was no rush; any urgency that they felt was easily ignored as he watched Thane’s eyes, seeing the love shining in them. Soon the urgency won out and he thrust deeper, angling his hips so that he hit the one spot that brought a growl from Thane. 

Tael rolled them over so that Thane was on top. He bit his lip, trying to control his body. Thane held still, allowing Tael to regain control. He knew he was on the brink of release, but he wanted to hold off before finding his pleasure. Tael leaned up, capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss. “Move for me,” he murmured against his mouth. Thane moaned in pleasure as he slowly drove his hips forward. 

Urgent noises filled the room as the lovers neared their release, their hands clasped tightly together. Thane was about to spill. He knew that Tael was very close and he leaned down, kissing Tael deeply and swallowing his moans of passion. Tael sucked on his tongue and it was that action that pushed him over the edge. Thane didn’t break the contact as he found his release. Tael followed right after, moaning his pleasure into Thane’s mouth. Thane purred contentedly as Tael slumped back onto the bed, bringing Thane down with him. 

They lay in each other’s arms, catching their breath. Tael waited until Thane relaxed on top of him before he finally spoke. “What did Liara say?” Tael asked quietly. 

“She reminded me of what you used to be like, but she spoke of it as if you hadn’t changed. She made sure that I understood that I was here for your pleasure and nothing else,” Thane told him quietly, and he felt Tael’s body tense under his. He stayed still, waiting for Tael’s outburst.

“And what do you think?” he asked, his muscles tense as he waited for Thane’s answer. 

Thane heard the uncertainty in Tael’s voice, and felt the anxiety in his body. “I think that she’s wrong,” Thane told him firmly. Instantly, he could feel Tael’s body relaxing once more. Thane relaxed when the tension left Tael’s body, and he gasped when Tael rolled him onto his back. 

Tael looked down at Thane, fear and uncertainty running through him. Thane waited patiently as he watched the play of emotions cross the Commander’s face. It wasn’t until he saw the horror in his eyes that he became worried.  “I once told you that I cared for you more than anyone else. That declaration doesn’t even begin to touch what I truly feel for you. I may never say the words you are looking for. I don’t even know what that emotion is; I’ve never experienced it. But I know I can’t lose you…” Tael trailed off, his mouth dry as terror rushed through him. He had just done something he never imagined doing, but it didn’t feel wrong to make this confession to the drell. 

Thane reached up, brushing a stray hair from his forehead. He let the stray strands slide through his fingers. Tael’s words repeated in his mind. This was one of those times that he was happy he had a perfect memory. He knew he would relive this moment often; the one time that Tael really opened up to him without hesitation.  

Thane smiled, and ran his hand along Tael’s back, trying to ease the tension within him. With perfect clarity he relived the moment they just had together and smiled happily as he gave Tael time to recover. He could honestly say that he’d never experienced this type of lovemaking with anyone, including his wife. With his wife there had always been something missing. He hadn’t known what that was until now. Safety, contentment and understanding - Tael had given him all of these. His wife couldn’t; she had been an innocent to everything in his life, and she hadn’t understood. Tael made him feel safe. With the Commander, he didn’t always have to be on alert; didn’t have to worry about always watching his back. He knew that if he fell, Tael would be there to catch him. He had proven that so many times. With all those things came contentedness; something he had always wanted, but could never have because he had to hold a part of himself back from his wife. He had loved Irikah, but Tael was more than that. This was something different, but Thane couldn’t put it into words yet. He would have to meditate on it more. 

Thane was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t heard the knock on the door. Neither had Tael. They both jumped when they heard EDI’s voice. “Commander, Ms. T’Soni wishes entry,” EDI announced. 

“Tell Ms. T’Soni that the Commander will meet her down in her quarters at a later time,” Thane ordered, coolly scowling at the door. Tael chuckled, pulling him into a languorous kiss. 

“I wonder what she wants now,” Tael grumbled, smirking at the scowl on Thane’s face. Thane heard the irritation in his voice and wondered what would happen when they finally spoke. He knew if Tael was already annoyed, nothing pleasant would come from it. He wondered if Ms. T’Soni realized the trouble she had caused. 

“Did you want to see her now?” Thane asked. 

“If I see the bitch now, I’ll kill her without question,” Tael snarled as his anger came rushing through him. Just the thought of what Liara said to Thane infuriated him. Right now it wasn’t safe for him to speak with her. 

Thane chuckled, holding Tael tight as relief rushed through him. “Plus, I’m not done with you yet,” Tael grinned and thrust his hips forward. Thane’s spine bowed in pleasure as he growled. “I’m going to have to find more ways to make you growl for me,” Tael murmured as he snapped his hips forward, harder than before. Thane made a different noise that drove Tael mad. No other words were spoken between them as Shepard experimented, eliciting a wide variety of sounds from his lover. They stayed in their cabin for the rest of the night, ignoring the outside world for the moment.  

                                                                                

 


	17. Chapter 17

Tael awoke early in the morning, and his body felt like it was a raging inferno. His chest was tight, and he felt like he was suffocating. His body ached as if been in a battle for days, and last but not least, his head felt like it was about to explode from the migraine that was burning through it. He hadn’t had a migraine in years, not since he first learnt how to use his biotics.  He shifted his position, looking for the cool body that was usually next to him; but the bed was empty. Tael sat up slowly, glancing around the empty room and groaning in pain. He went to lie back down, but his stomach turned violently and he rushed into the bathroom; arriving just in time. He moaned as he leaned his head against the cold porcelain of the toilet. _Great,_ he thought angrily. Yet another ailment to add to the long list he had accumulated since awakening. Now he wanted to know how the fuck he had gotten sick in the first place. 

Slowly he stumbled to his feet, and a wave of dizziness almost toppled him over as he stumbled to the bed. He didn’t lie down gracefully; at the moment that was beyond his abilities. Instead, he toppled onto the soft mattress and stayed where he fell.

A light sweat covered his body just from that small jaunt. He knew protocol demanded that he inform Mordin of his illness, but there was no way in hell he was calling for help. Sleep - that was all he needed and he would be back to his old self. So why didn’t that ring true in his mind?   

His eyes were just starting to drift closed when the door to his room opened. Thane stood at the top of the stairs, looking at Tael worriedly. The commander was pale, and his eyes were squeezed shut tightly in pain. There was a slight flush to the paleness that covered his skin. Thane noticed that Tael’s hair was damp from sweat and immediately recognized that something was amiss. Headache or not, Tael would normally have been in the shower by now. 

Thane walked over to Tael, placing a hand on his forehead. His skin was hot to the touch, and it wasn’t the usual warmth that his body naturally produced. Tael moaned desperately as he felt the coolness against his forehead. It was soothing, but he wished there was more of it. It wasn’t just his head that was burning, but his whole body. He could feel the slight tremors from his body shivering and knew he couldn’t climb under the blankets, no matter how cold the room felt. Thane felt Tael start to tremble; he didn’t know enough about human anatomy to help, so he did the only thing he could think of. “EDI, have Mordin come to the Commander’s room,” Thane ordered, his voice filled with concern. 

“No, it’s not necessary,” Tael slurred as his fever-glazed eyes flickered open for a moment. He glanced toward Thane, but couldn’t see him properly. His face was blurred by the fever haze. Tael didn’t need to see that it was him; he would know Thane’s scent and touch anywhere. 

“I think it is necessary,” Thane murmured as Tael’s eyes drifted close once more. He tried to remove his hand so he could cover Tael up, but the commander wouldn’t relinquish his hold on the drell. 

“No. I need something cool against my skin for the fever. I just need relief,” Tael slurred when he felt Thane try to remove his hand. 

“We need to cover you,” Thane told him softly. 

“No, it’s not a good idea. My fever will rise, and I have to keep cool,” he mumbled as sleep pulled at him.  

“He’s right. Human body can’t take high fevers,” Mordin murmured as he walked into the room. He heard Shepard talking and knew he wasn’t in good shape. He moved close to the bed, standing on the opposite side from Thane. The professor shook his head; Thane was just as protective of Shepard as Shepard was of him. Drell/human relations were really becoming interesting aboard the Normandy. Mordin only wished he could document the process, but he valued his life too much to interfere. 

He took out his scanner, running it down the length of Shepard’s body. His eyes widened when he read the temperature; it had risen to 105.8 Fahrenheit. That worried him; he hadn’t brought pills up that would take down the temperature, and it needed to be handled immediately. “Thane, go to Dr. Chakwas, and tell her the Commander needs medication to bring down temperature,” Mordin ordered, his voice laced with urgency. Thane’s eyes widened. He didn’t want to leave Tael, but he knew that Mordin wouldn’t be asking this of him if it wasn’t important. 

Mordin watched Thane leave and looked over the readings he had so far. It was the same strain of flu that some of the humans aboard the ship had recently been afflicted with. He had already sent word to Illium about contaminant and told them the precautions that should be taken. He just hoped they quarantined the infected sector until the viral infection passed. 

He ran another scan of Shepard’s chest and sighed when it showed fluid in his lungs. Mordin tried to figure out why Shepard would be in worse condition than the other humans on board. He had to assume it was the strenuous exertions Shepard put himself through that left his body too fatigued to fight the infection. The last mission he had been on wouldn’t have been enough and that was what confused Mordin. He shrugged it off until he could question Thane about it. 

He glanced up when he heard the doors open. Thane walked in with a pill bottle in his hand. Mordin took the medicine, scowling when he saw which one the doctor had given him. He knew it wasn’t strong enough to get rid of the fever, but it would help to ease the problem. Thane took a seat beside Shepard, running his hand over his cheek. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Thane asked, concern filling his voice. 

“He has a virus. Only contagious to humans; none of the nonhumans have it. Shepard’s is the worst case on board the ship so far. Not sure why. Only heavy exertion would cause the virus to progress so far,” Mordin muttered, annoyed that he couldn’t figure out the answer.

“What can be done for him?” Thane asked as he rose from the bed to grab a glass of water so Tael could take the pills.

“Give him these pills every four to six hours. Have him recline instead of lying flat on his back; easier for him to breathe past the fluid in his lungs,” he said and noticed alarm enter Thane’s eyes. “Nothing to worry about. Will have cure within the next day or so. Make sure his temperature does not rise over 104 Fahrenheit. Cool shower or cloths will help; do not cover with heavy blankets. Make sure he drinks plenty of fluids, and eats soups or broths. Gardener didn’t get sick, so he will be able to take care of that. Will be dizzy, light headed, and weak; most likely nauseated, as well,” Mordin explained. 

“How did he receive this virus?” Thane asked. 

“Illium - virus came from there. Already contacted medical board on the planet. Once have cure, I’ll be back to administer it,” Mordin stated. He was about to leave, but wanted to make sure the commander received his medication. He looked at Thane expectantly when he came back with a glass of water. 

Thane set the glass down on the bedside table. He lifted Tael gently and slid beneath him so he was resting against Thane’s chest. “Tael, you need to take this pill,” Thane murmured, ignoring the doctor that was watching intently. 

“No,” Tael mumbled as he curled up against Thane’s cool skin. Thane sighed, and if he could, he would have rolled his eyes. 

“Tough, you need to take the pill. It’ll bring down your fever,” Thane told him firmly. 

“No, not taking any fucking pills,” Tael groused and then groaned as a pain shot through his head. Mordin chuckled. He wasn’t sure how they were going to get the commander to take the pills. 

“Tael…” Thane started, but stopped when Tael lifted his head and glared at him. 

“Bite me,” Tael scowled, laying his head back down. Thane’s eyes widened and he shrugged. He tilted Tael’s head off to the side and bit lightly on his neck. Tael gasped, and even though he was sicker than a dog, his body still reacted. Thane popped the pill in his mouth and passed him the glass of water. 

“Try that one again, when I’m feeling better,” Tael growled, glaring at the drell. 

Thane leaned close to Tael’s ear. “It would be my pleasure,” he murmured softly so Mordin didn’t overhear. 

“Sexual activities not recommended, might force fever to rise. Endorphins will help fight virus, but still not recommended,” Mordin counseled. He hid his smile. Now he realized how the commander’s body became fatigued enough for the virus to hit him so hard. He should have thought about it before, but his species wasn’t overtly sexual; not like these two species. He didn’t flinch when he saw the interaction between the two men, nor had he become flustered when he saw the commander’s reaction to Thane’s teasing. He was used to seeing the commander nude and watching him and Thane touch one another, though it was usually to aid Thane during his attacks. 

When Shepard finished taking the pills, Mordin placed the bottle on the bedside table and left the two of them alone. 

Thane rested back against the pillows, holding Tael’s feverish body against his. He knew the moment the medicine started working; Tael’s body wasn’t as hot and he was resting easier. The rattling Thane heard in his chest worried him. He didn’t know what this would do to Tael in the long run, or how much permanent damage it would cause.              

Thane blinked a few times, trying to clear his thoughts. EDI’s voice came over the intercom. “Garrus wishes entry,” EDI announced. 

“Allow him to enter,” Thane muttered as he slipped from beneath Tael. He grabbed a light blanket and laid it over Tael’s body, for modesty’s sake. Though that was a lost cause; he kicked them off, grumbling a curse under his breath. Thane looked over his shoulder when he heard the heavy steps approaching. 

Garrus walked over to the bed, looking at Tael worriedly. “What happened to him?” he asked. He didn’t react when he saw Tael laying there naked; he was more worried about his condition than his lack of clothing. Tael looked like he just went into battle and came out on the losing end. 

“He caught a viral infection on Illium,” Thane muttered. 

“He’s not the only one. A lot of the humans onboard the ship have it,” Garrus told him. “Is there anything you need?” 

Thane looked at him thoughtfully. Tael needed food and the stuff that he had bought on Illium wouldn’t be enough. Mordin had suggested soups and broths. “Is Gardener is the Mess Hall?” Thane asked. 

“He’s still cooking, though I wish he had fallen ill,” Garrus muttered, cracking a small smile when he heard Thane chuckle.  

“Can you stay with him, while I grab him some food?” Thane asked. Garrus was the only one Thane trusted to look after Tael. He left the room when Garrus nodded. 

Tael heard the doors once more. He opened his bleary eyes, seeing someone sitting beside him on the edge of the bed. At first he thought it was Thane, but the figure was too large. He went to reach under his pillow for his gun, but his arm felt too heavy. “Relax, Thane will be back in a minute,” Garrus stated when he saw Tael’s hand moving for his pillow. “The last thing I need you to do is shoot me,” he joked. 

“What are you doing here?” Tael asked hoarsely. He tried sitting up, but his stomach turned once again. He tried getting out of the bed, but Garrus was in the way. He felt him move and hoped he would be quick enough to make it to the bathroom. 

Garrus watched Tael turn green and moved as fast as he could. He was worried about him. He never saw Tael like this and didn’t like seeing him brought down by a virus. He grinned as another thought came to him. He was suddenly glad that he wasn’t Thane; he knew Tael wouldn’t be the easiest of patients. 

The doors closed after Tael and Garrus flinched when he heard the noises the commander was making. He thought about going in after him, but he didn’t think Tael would appreciate that. He changed his mind when he heard Tael moan. Garrus moved to the door quickly. Tael was kneeling on the ground with his face resting on the side of the toilet bowl. Garrus reached out one hand, resting it on Tael’s shoulder. 

Tael glared up at him, shrugging off his touch. Garrus smirked, expecting the reaction. He grabbed a glass from the other room and filled it with water. “Thanks,” Tael muttered, still sitting on the floor. His legs were too weak to hold him at the moment. He needed to rest before he even thought about moving back to the bed. He hated being sick. 

Thane walked into the room, and was surprised to find the bed empty. He heard Garrus and Tael in the bathroom, and his brow ridge rose as he placed the bowl of soup on the coffee table. He made his way to the bathroom, wondering what was going on. Tael was sitting on the floor, drinking a cup of water as if there was a drought. Garrus was standing there, his hands clenched into fists at his side. He looked lost, not sure what to do. Thane turned his attention to Tael. He was glaring at Garrus. Thane figured Garrus had tried helping and Tael didn’t like it. Thane grinned as Garrus went to take the cup, but Tael rejected the idea. 

“I can do it myself, Garrus. I’m not dead,” Tael grimaced. He hated people waiting on him, especially when he was sick. 

“You know you’re stubborn and an ass, as well!” Garrus retorted, shaking his head in frustration.  

Garrus turned toward the door when he heard a noise. Relief washed through him when he saw Thane standing there. He wanted to help Tael, but the commander wasn’t having any of it. Garrus left the bathroom and Thane entered.

Thane knelt down, taking the glass from Tael, and Tael glared at him. “Not you, too,” he groused. 

“Well, its either I take the glass, or you struggle to your feet and probably land on the floor; the glass breaking in the process,” Thane told him, trying to hide his laughter. 

“Fine,” Tael relented, glaring at him. Thane smirked and helped him to his feet. He remembered Mordin’s warning that he would be weak. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that Garrus was still there, watching them worriedly. He wondered how he was going to do this without giving away that Tael was weak. 

Thane laced his hand through Tael’s hair and kissed him deeply. Tael tried to break the contact, so Thane moved fast; rising to his feet and bringing Tael with him. He broke away from the kiss, and Tael glared at him. Tael didn’t know what to say. The thought of kissing anyone right after puking in the toilet was one he never had until now. He didn’t know what Thane thought of the taste, but it was grossing him out. 

Thane backed away. He could tell by the look on Tael’s face that he had done something wrong. He went to lead him out of the bathroom, but Tael turned to the shower. “No, my fever still needs to come down more,” he muttered. “Fucking pills weren’t strong enough.” 

Thane chuckled, taking the glass from Tael. He placed it on the desk and went back into the washroom. He set the water to his own skin temperature, thinking that it would be cool enough. Tael stepped under the spray, and Thane moved forward quickly when he swayed. Without thought, he shrugged out of his coat and stayed under the spray until Tael was ready to leave.   

Thane walked near Tael as he headed back to the bed. He had forgone the towel, much to Thane’s amusement. Garrus sat on the couch, shaking his head and chuckling. “Looks like you are going to have your hands full, Thane. I don’t think Tael is going to be a very good patient,” he commented.

Thane moved to grab some clothes before sitting beside Garrus. Tael lay there, glaring out the skylight over his bed; recovering his energy. As soon as he had a chance, he was heading back to Illium and going on a rampage. 

“When you’re ready, there is soup over here for you,” Thane told Tael as he came out of the bathroom in dry clothes. Tael groaned as he moved off the bed, heading for the couch. He took a seat next to Thane, leaning his head against Thane’s shoulder for a moment. 

“Should you eat?” Garrus asked, remembering the sounds Tael had made in the bathroom. 

“Yeah, I have to. I can’t have my stomach empty or I’ll dry heave and that hurts like hell,” Tael explained as he slowly ate the soup. Garrus watched Tael; he was shocked when he saw Tael take a seat next to Thane. He’d never seen this side of Tael; never knew this side could actually exist. Tael had his impenetrable walls down when he looked at Thane. He watched as Thane ran his hand along Tael’s back without complaint. He thought for sure that Tael would push him away with biting words. He wasn’t one to show affection or emotion. Everyone knew it, yet here he was, sitting quietly and eating as Thane soothed him. 

“How is your fever?” Thane asked as he finished his soup. 

“My fever is down, at least for now. That medicine you forced me to take isn’t strong enough, so don’t expect me to take it again,” Tael bit out, scowling at the drell. 

“Mordin said he should have a cure by tomorrow,” Thane reminded him.

“Thank God for small favors,” Tael muttered. He smirked when he heard Garrus chuckle. He finished as much of the soup as he could before heading back to the bed. He had used up the last of his reserves, and sleep claimed him before he even hit the pillow. 

Garrus stared at Thane for a moment. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen Tael like this,” he commented with a grin. It was good to see, and he was happy that Thane brought this side of his commander back to the surface.    

“You’ve never seen him sick before?” Thane asked. 

“That’s not what I meant. I’ve never seen Tael with his walls down,” Garrus explained. “I’ve known him for years; we’ve been through hell and back and never would he allow another to help him. Yet he allows you. If I didn’t know better I would say he loves you, but I am not sure Tael even knows what that emotion is,” he stated, watching Thane closely.

Thane smirked. He wasn’t going to answer the question he saw in Garrus’ eyes. What put Thane at ease was there was no jealously on the turian’s face; only worry and concern for a friend.

Garrus and Thane chatted for a while as Tael slept. Garrus was shocked that Thane wasn’t trying to be quieter. He gave a shrug, but tried to keep his voice low so he didn’t disturb Tael. That was the last thing he needed. He glanced over Thane’s shoulder when he heard Tael mutter something. The commander was sitting up in bed, holding his head in his hand.  

“Don’t worry, you’re not the only one suffering,” Garrus chuckled. 

“Have Joker send a message to Illium, telling them to broadcast a warning for this virus. If they don’t, I’m turning this ship around and taking out the fucking planet,” Tael snarled. Thane smirked as he went into the bathroom to wet a cloth for Tael. He needed to bring down the fever once again. 

Garrus chuckled. This is what he had been expecting to see, a pissed off Tael. Garrus rose to his feet to leave, but Tael stopped him. 

Thane was just coming out of the bathroom; neither man noticed him and he stopped dead when he heard what came out of Tael’s mouth. “Garrus, keep Liara away from this deck. She’s not welcome up here anymore,” Tael bit out, the anguished look in Thane’s eyes still fresh in his mind.

“What did she do?” Garrus asked. He was shocked that Liara would do anything to upset Tael. For a moment he wondered if Tael was going back to his old ways. 

Garrus caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Thane standing there, watching them. He didn’t need Tael to tell him what happened; the look on Thane’s unguarded face was enough. Liara had said something to upset Thane. Tael wasn’t doing this for himself; he was doing this for Thane. “I’ll make sure,” Garrus murmured before Tael could answer. He left their room with a smirk. Tael was full of surprises tonight. First he allowed Thane to help him, and then he protected him. _It was about time he fell,_ Garrus thought to himself with a grin as the elevator doors closed behind him. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Mordin came up to the commander’s room the next day with his cure, just as he had promised. EDI let him in without announcing him first. He stopped on the stairs, worried that Thane was having another attack. He was lying on top of the commander with only his pants on. Shepard was running his hand over his head as he always does when Thane has had an attack. But there was no tension in either of their faces, so that couldn’t be it. Mordin watched the two of them curiously. Thane was idly running his hand along Shepard’s arm, which was draped over his chest. 

He moved further into the room, waiting for either of them to notice him. He cleared his throat and Shepard turned his gaze toward him. His eyes were feverish, but there was a look in them that Mordin didn’t think could be possible. “Have medicine for you. Take for the next three days and you should be fine,” he told him. 

“How long before they take effect?” Shepard asked him. Thane moved off to the side so Tael could sit up. 

“A few hours. Most of the crew came down with virus, and pills worked on them. They are back at work,” Mordin stated. 

Thane moved to get Tael a glass of water so he could take the pills. He almost wished that he would put up a fight like he had before, but he knew Tael wouldn’t. Mordin passed Shepard one of the pills. He waited until his patient finished drinking his water before leaving. 

He stepped onto the elevator, a small smile curving his lips. Thane sat on the bed beside Tael. “I still think we should turn this ship around and kill the whole lot of them,” Tael grumbled. 

“Even the Normandy wouldn’t be able to take out Illium,” Thane smirked. He had heard this threat many times since the previous day. 

“Wouldn’t hurt to try,” Tael grumbled as he lay back down. The medicine slowly kicked in, and his stomach wasn’t turning anymore. He felt bad for Thane; he had stayed up most of the night watching over him. It annoyed him, but he would have done the same thing if roles had been reversed. The sad part was that Thane reminded him of that when he started complaining. 

Thane smiled at him in amusement. The joy left his eyes when Tael looked at him seriously. “How are your lungs doing?” Tael asked him quietly.

Thane took a deep breath. There was still rattling, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. He’d been on the new pills for a few days and they seemed to be making a difference. “My chest isn’t as tight as it usually is,” Thane answered in wonder. 

“Do you think he might have found a cure?” Tael asked, watching him closely. Thane shrugged. He didn’t know how to answer that. It would take days before they had an answer. 

“We’ll find out,” Thane murmured. He placed a hand on Tael’s forehead, surprised to feel it cooler than it had been hours ago. His eyes weren’t glassy any more. It hadn’t taken long for Mordin’s pills to work. Thane was shocked by that. It made him think of the pills he was on. Maybe they would work just as fast. He shouldn’t allow himself to hope, but he knew that it was too late for that. 

Tael reached up, running his hand along Thane’s cheek as he saw his eyes become distant. He hoped that Mordin did find a cure, now that Thane had his hopes up. If he didn’t, he wasn’t sure how Thane would take it and that worried him. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Thane watched Shepard walk out of the room. He knew where he was going and was sure there was no way to stop him. He hoped that Tael would be able to keep his cool; but from the way he had been acting whenever Liara’s name was mentioned, he knew that wasn’t likely to happen. Thane sighed tiredly to himself. It wasn’t because of Tael, but because of all the stress that the commander placed on his own shoulders. Thane tried to lighten the load, but Tael kept him out of that area of his life. 

He had asked Tael once why that was the case. Now he understood, but he still didn’t agree with it. _The cool air brushed across his skin as he entered Life Support for his possessions. Tael helps him with some boxes, and Thane watches him for a moment, asking a question that has been bothering him. “Why do you carry every burden on your shoulders, instead of sharing them with those who want to help you?” Tael had stopped what he was doing and regarded him quizzically._

_“Because I’m trained for this. This is what I do. If you want to help, be who you are,” he told him._

At the time Thane hadn’t understood, but now he did. Tael may be harsh and cold sometimes, but he still had emotions. He finally figured out that he enjoyed their verbal sparring, and their biting jabs. It kept him on his toes and got his mind off of the things that were bothering him. 

With that thought, Thane headed to his old room to see if he could help Tael.

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~ 

Shepard stood in front of Life Support for the first time in a long while. He smirked as he remembered the last time he had been there. He walked in without announcing himself. Liara sat at the table with some datapads in her hand. Tael was still burning with anger for what she put Thane through, making him doubt whether he should have come. 

She turned quickly in her chair, letting out a startled gasp as she saw Shepard standing there, staring at her angrily. “Shepard, I didn’t hear you come in,” she muttered. She fidgeted as he walked further into the room, his fists tightly clenched at his side. 

“Liara, what the fuck did you say to Thane?” Tael asked, his voice low and menacing. He kept his hands clenched at his side or they would have been around her throat. 

“The truth. You have to admit, you are not one for commitment. Remember, you had me one night, and then moved onto Ashley the next night? Thane needed to be warned that you would leave him eventually. Actually, I am surprised that you’ve stayed with him this long without getting bored,” she stated scathingly.  

Tael moved quickly, lifting Liara out of her chair and pinning her to the closest wall. He had his hand on her neck, slowly applying pressure. “Remember this well, you fucking bitch. Cross me again and I’ll kill you slowly,” Shepard spat coldly. He was itching to snap her neck. He still couldn’t forget the look in Thane’s eyes.

Liara looked at him fearfully; she knew she had just pushed too far. However, there was no way she was going to allow him to handle her like this. She allowed her biotics to flow over her and hesitated when she felt something cold and metallic press into her neck. “Try that one again. I dare you,” Shepard smiled cruelly. 

“I have every right to protect someone from you!” she spat coldly, fear racing up her spine. She had seen Shepard kill countless times, and she knew that it didn’t make a difference that they had slept together. She hoped it would, but she knew better. 

“And I have every right to kill you for what you did,” Shepard sneered as he idly toyed with the knife in his hand. It felt good to hold it; the thought of plunging it into her throat brought a smile to his face.  

“So you enjoy harming dying men now?” she asked. 

“No, I don’t. But, Liara, stay the fuck out of my personal business,” he snapped, dropping the knife to his side. He assumed he had made his point and she would keep her mouth shut. 

Liara watched him calm down, a small smile on her face. Thinking that she had won the argument, she ran her hand lightly down his arm. Shepard’s gaze snapped to hers, and his eyes narrowed into lethal slits. “Be careful what you are asking for,” Shepard sneered.

“It’s not like you’re going to be with him much longer,” she shrugged. She remembered the one night they had together. It was her first time being with someone. When she saw him die, she had been devastated. Then she had a chance to bring him back, and she jumped at the opportunity. Now he was with that drell. For Shepard, being ‘with someone’ was a loose term. She didn’t believe there was anything between them. Shepard didn’t care about anyone other than Garrus. 

She ran her hand up his arm to clasp the back of his neck. He still had her pinned to the wall, just like the night they had been together. She rose onto her toes, trying to bring her mouth closer to his. He leaned down, but he didn’t go for her mouth, and her breath quickened. 

She almost growled when she heard the doors opening; but Shepard didn’t seem to mind, so she ignored it. 

Thane walked in to find Shepard against the wall with Liara. He took in the scene with one glance and thought quickly about how to save Liara’s life. He saw Tael’s knife ready to plunge home. He started to move, but hesitated when the commander spoke. “Liara, get your fucking hands off of me. I won’t fuck you again,” he heard Tael growl menacingly. 

“Why? It’s not like you care about anyone else,” she spat angrily. She knew that was the wrong thing to say when she saw the dangerous flash in his eyes. Before she had time to react, Shepard brought up the knife, moving quicker than she could react; the dagger plunging toward her throat. 

Thane watched helplessly as Tael’s dagger drove toward Liara’s throat. Sadness enveloped him as he realized that he had arrived too late to stop him. Slowly he opened his eyes when he heard the dagger embed itself into the wall. His eyes widened at what he saw. Tael hadn’t killed her, though the hilt of his dagger brushed against her throat as she swallowed. The blade disappeared in the wall, not touching her skin.  

Thane moved up, placing a hand on Tael’s shoulder. He could feel the tension running through him; his anger coming off of him in waves. It had been awhile since he had seen Tael like this. 

Liara watched as someone moved up behind them. She was about to warn them, but it was the drell she had met earlier. The one she believed Shepard was using. He placed a hand on Shepard’s shoulder. The Shepard she knew would have turned and killed the person, but that wasn’t what happened. 

She stood there stunned as Thane moved Shepard away, toward the metal table. Tael leaned against it, his head bowed so that it was resting on the drell’s chest.  Her breath stopped when she saw the look in Shepard’s eyes as he lifted his head to look at the drell. She couldn’t believe that she was actually witnessing this. 

“You can’t kill her,” Thane told him softly. She expected Shepard to scoff at him, but now she wasn’t sure what would happen. 

“No one will ever put that look in your eyes again. Ever!” Tael growled. Thane smirked. He knew what he was talking about and didn’t refute what he saw. He glanced at Liara and saw she was in shock. Not that he blamed her; the Shepard she knew would never have acted this way. 

“You still can’t kill her,” Thane chuckled. He knew that the danger had past and Tael was slowly calming down. 

Tael scowled at him. “I need to work off some of this anger. You’ll find me down at the mats,” Tael muttered as he stormed out of the room. 

Liara stood there, dumbfounded. She turned her attention to Thane, not able to say anything for a few moments. “I was wrong, he does care for you. I never thought I would see Shepard like that. For the longest time I hoped it would be me that he would look at that way,” she said quietly. She hesitated in what she was going to say. She met Thane’s eyes; they were calm, but she couldn’t read any emotion in them. She didn’t know whether he was upset or actually listening to her. “He loves you, you know…it’s actually good to see,” she murmured before stepping from the wall and leaving the room. 

Thane watched her leave. He already knew what she just realized. But he was relieved that someone else voiced what he believed in his heart. He went to the wall where the knife was buried and yanked it out. With a small smile, he went down to the practice room to join Tael. 

Liara went searching for Garrus. She needed someone she knew and was comfortable with. With the help of EDI, she found him in the Main Battery. She walked in and watched him for a moment. 

“Garrus, can we talk?” Liara asked uncertainly.

Garrus glanced over his shoulder and noticed that she was really upset about something. “Sure, what is it, Liara?” he asked, turning from his console.

“I think I made a mistake,” she said quietly. Garrus stood there, patiently waiting for her to continue. He listened as she told him what happened, and what she had said to Thane. He winced when he heard it. He could just imagine Tael’s reaction. He was surprised to see her still walking around in one piece. 

“I need your help to make this right with Tael,” she stated firmly. 

Garrus chuckled; he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t going to be easy to reconcile his friends and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to try. “If you want that type of help, your best bet would be Thane. Though I would stay away from him for a bit; and Tael, as well, for that matter. Especially since you tried seducing him and harmed Thane. Tael is protective when it comes to him.”

“He loves him, doesn’t he?” Liara asked. She had been hoping for that look she saw in his eyes, but she knew now she would never receive it. 

“That is between Tael and Thane,” Garrus snapped coldly. 

Liara flinched. “Sorry…” she muttered, walking out of the room without a backwards glance.

Garrus sighed. He heard the disappointment and sorrow in her voice. It bothered him, so he followed her into Life Support. She was sitting on the bed, with her head in her hands. If she started crying, he wasn’t sure what he would do. He hadn’t ever seen someone cry before. 

“What do you want, Garrus?” she asked softly, and he heard the defeat in her voice. 

“To talk. Liara, this isn’t the old Normandy and Tael isn’t the same. For a while he was colder, more brutal, and a lot of people feared for their lives. Thane has been the only one to get through to him. So when it comes to talking about Tael and Thane’s personal life, I tend to stay silent. I don’t need Tael’s anger turned toward me,” Garrus explained. 

“What changed him so much?” she asked him. 

“I don’t know, and I am not going to ask,” Garrus muttered. “If you want to make amends with Tael, then you should talk to him. But I would still give it a couple of days,” he warned. 

Liara watched him walk out of the room. She flashed back to the look in Shepard’s eyes and knew she was right. Shepard had finally found love. A part of her was happy and another part was upset. She remembered the look on Thane’s face when they had been in the room alone. She had seen the hurt that crossed his features for just a brief moment. She could clearly recall the rage on Shepard’s face when he looked at Thane; he had read something there that she hadn’t seen. 

She leaned back in her chair and took a cleansing breath, focusing herself on the mission ahead. She couldn’t let herself dwell on what could have been or anything from the past, not if she wanted to save Feron.   

 


	18. Chapter 18

Tael was sitting in the Mess Hall eating his evening meal. Thane was elsewhere; Tael wasn’t sure of his current location. Garrus had just left him to do some more calibrating. Unfortunately, Liara was there, as well. She sat across from him and he listened half-heartedly as she attempted an apology. 

He sat there silently as she spoke, basically ignoring her. He saw Mordin come around the corner, an annoyed look on his face. The salarian spied Tael and marched over to his table. Tael tried hiding his relieved smile, but couldn’t quite pull it off. He finally had a reason to leave Liara alone. 

“Thane won’t do any more tests!” Mordin snapped in annoyance, momentarily forgetting who he was talking to. “I need you to come and talk some sense into him.”

“Mordin, why isn’t Thane doing more tests?” Tael asked as he grabbed his dishes and placed them on the counter. He followed Mordin onto the elevator, waiting for him to answer. 

Mordin glanced around, just noticing they were on the elevator. He pressed the stop button and turned to face the commander. “He requested your presence and also said he wouldn’t put himself through the stress he experienced with the last batch,” Mordin muttered. 

Tael was shocked for a moment that Thane asked for him. He followed Mordin into his lab. Thane was standing at the back of the room with his hands clasped behind his back. His back was ramrod straight; a telling sign that he was upset about something. Tael walked over and stood beside him. “So, what did he do to piss you off?” Tael asked casually. 

“He wants to take two more samples from my lungs,” Thane growled, glaring at Tael. 

Tael looked at him confused, wondering why Mordin needed two samples. “Mordin, if you take samples from Thane, would he still be able to fight tomorrow?” Tael asked, ignoring Thane’s anger for the moment. 

“Yes, won’t need as big of a sample as the last time,” Mordin answered without looking up from his computer. 

“Why do you need two samples?” Tael asked with an edge to his voice. 

“One sample is to see the regeneration of the tissue. Other is to show you something. Will need samples from you, also. Human lungs are similar to drells… to a point,” Mordin stated briskly. 

Tael turned back to Thane, realizing for the first time that he had been running his hand along the drell’s arm. Thane looked more relaxed now than when he first entered the room. “I’m handing over samples, so do you want to?” Tael asked casually as he stripped off his shirt. 

Thane glared at him and stripped off his coat and vest. He shivered as the cold air hit his skin. “Good, Shepard, you first,” Mordin instructed and pointed to a nearby bed. Tael lay down and Thane came over automatically, taking his hand. “Take deep breath and hold it,” Mordin ordered, coming toward him with a large needle. 

Tael’s eyes narrowed dangerously as Mordin neared. The salarian noticed the look and momentarily hesitated. “Will strap you down if needed, Commander,” he said, using his ‘professional doctor’ voice.

“Just get it done,” Shepard hissed, holding onto Thane’s hand tightly. He didn’t like needles, but there was no way he was admitting it aloud. 

He hissed as he felt the needle enter his chest. “Thane, hold his chest still. Make sure he doesn’t flinch,” Mordin ordered. “Need you to keep very still, Shepard.”

Tael growled when he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He glared at Mordin, and the doctor quickly moved to the opposite side of the bed. Tael watched him with murderous eyes as he did the same to his other lung. At the moment he was imagining different ways to kill the doctor; most of them quite painful. He heard Thane chuckle and glanced at him. “You can’t kill him. He’s the one coming up with ways to destroy the Collectors,” Thane reminded him. 

“Unfortunately,” Tael muttered, scowling at the doctor’s back before slowly rising to a sitting position. 

Tael held Thane’s hand as he went through the same procedure. He felt sympathy for him, now that he knew how painful the process was. It took a shorter time for Thane and Mordin hadn’t ordered him to hold Thane still. 

“There, all done. Now you’ll want to see this,” Mordin said and motioned the two of them over to a microscope.

They each looked carefully into the equipment. “On the right is the newest sample of Thane’s lung tissue and on the left is the sample I took one week ago,” he explained. Tael gaped as he saw the difference between them. He wasn’t sure if Mordin had found an actual cure, but he was certainly close. “Now, watch tissue on the right,” Mordin ordered. 

“Hold on, can you put this up on the monitor?” Tael asked. He wanted Thane to be able to view it with him. Mordin nodded. Thane looked at both tissue samples, and his breath sped up; a sure sign of distress. Tael placed a hand on his shoulder as they watched Mordin’s experiment. He placed a drop of solution on the newest sample of the lung tissue, and the scarring cleared before their eyes. 

“Mordin, am I seeing this right? You’ve found a cure?” Tael asked in awe. 

“I believe so, but I need to find right dosage for proper treatment. Don’t want to speed up the process too fast, may cause problems,” Mordin explained to the two stunned people standing before him. “Already sent data to Hanar home world. After finished with this drug, have another that you will be placed on. It grows a lining on drells’ lungs, and makes it easier to process humid places. Will resemble human lungs,” Mordin told them. He wondered if they were even listening. From the looks on their faces, he didn’t think so. Quickly he typed out the details, sending them to Shepard’s personal terminal. 

He glanced at them once more before leaving. They were both sitting on a nearby exam table; and Tael had an arm around Thane’s shaking body. His head was resting against Thane’s as he spoke softly into his ear. Mordin left his lab, locking the doors behind him to give them privacy. 

Thane stared at the monitor, not believing what he was seeing. The scientist had done what his people couldn’t. At the moment he was speechless; he couldn’t fathom what this meant for his people. Drells that only had months to live now had a cure. Families wouldn’t be torn apart by this disease anymore. 

Their eyes met and Tael grinned at Thane. “Guess we owe the doc,” he said quietly.

Thane smirked, leaning his head on Tael’s shoulder. He never dared to hope for a cure, and yet he had received the miracle he had only recently begun to dream about. He was stuck on that one thought, and he couldn’t shake it. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

The lovers headed for their room and Thane immediately began writing a letter to Kolyat, telling him the good news. As he composed his thoughts, he couldn’t help wondering how this would affect his future with Tael. He knew he would need to tell his son about his new mate, and he had no idea what reaction to expect from the young drell. It would be extremely difficult to explain, as he hadn’t been there for most of Kolyat’s upbringing. He didn’t know if he would be accepting of a relationship between two men. 

“You’re thinking too hard,” Tael commented, stepping up behind him. 

“I’m wondering how to tell Kolyat about our relationship,” Thane told him. 

“Well, you can be blunt and see what happens from there,” Tael shrugged. “I’m more worried how he will react when he learns you are sleeping with the guy who threatened his life.” 

Thane’s eyes widened. He had not even thought of that, but Tael was right. “Why do you think he wanted to speak with you?” Thane asked. 

“Beats the hell out of me. He’s your son,” Tael smirked. Thane glared at him, then let his smirk show. 

“When are we heading to the Citadel?” Thane asked, changing the subject. 

“After this mission we’ll go. I’m not stepping foot on the Citadel. Your son can come here and talk to me if he wishes,” Tael bit out. The Citadel was still a sore point with him. “While I’m talking with your son, you can make yourself scarce.”

“If you have him here, it would be too easy for anyone to listen in,” Thane said pointedly. 

“I don’t care if you listen in, but you’re not going to be in the room while I talk to him,” Tael stated firmly and Thane smiled at him. 

“Commander, we’ve reached our destination,” Joker announced, interrupting their conversation. 

“Joker, I thought we wouldn’t be there until late tomorrow,” Shepard replied.

“My calculations were off,” the pilot said and heard the smug grin in his voice. 

“Fine, have Garrus and Liara suit up,” he ordered. 

Tael was about to tell Thane to get ready, but it wasn’t necessary. Thane passed Tael his new armor and quickly donned the new leathers the commander had purchased for him. Tael watched him and swallowed. He shouldn’t have put Thane in black; now he would never be able to concentrate on the mission. His eyes leisurely roamed over him, and his desire grew. 

Thane glanced over his shoulder when he didn’t hear Tael moving. His breath caught as he saw the look in Tael’s eyes. His body reacted as if it was Tael’s own hand wandering over his skin, instead of merely his eyes. Tael moved toward him, his intent obvious with each step. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Joker leaned back in his chair, talking with EDI. He was waiting for her to come back with some much needed information. “You should alert the ground crew that the Commander and Mr. Krios will be late,” she announced and Joker could hear the grin in her voice. 

“One step ahead of you. I already told them Tael would meet them in an hour,” Joker chuckled. 

He was about to say more, but heavy footsteps stopped him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Garrus walking toward him. “Why did you say an hour? We’re here and it doesn’t take that long to suit up,” he grumbled. 

“True, but Thane and Tael are up in their room…” Joker trailed off, staring pointedly at the frustrated turian. 

Garrus groaned. “It’s a wonder we ever get any missions done,” he muttered.  

“Well at least he’s not as bitchy, so I’m not complaining,” Joker stated. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Thane and Tael met Liara and Garrus by the airlock. Tael looked at Thane and smirked. “Looks like I don’t have to threaten you this time. You’re going out willingly,” he said, smiling slyly. 

“Just think, Tael, you’re going out too. So, who actually won that round?” Garrus snickered as Tael glowered at him. 

All four of them jumped down from the ship, landing on the outer hull of the Shadow Broker’s vessel. “There has to be a hatch leading inside somewhere,” Liara notified them. “It will probably be hidden, so keep an eye out.”

Shepard took lead with Garrus close behind him. Thane and Liara took up the rear. The first part of the outer hull was easy enough, but the opposition grew as they neared the probably location of the hatch. “I think we are nearing the entrance,” Thane muttered as he ducked behind cover once more. 

“What was your first guess?” Tael snapped sarcastically. He was currently hidden behind his own cover, trying to fend off two asari fighters. He fired his weapon at the pair once again. One went down for the count, but the other mercenary still had shields in place. “Will someone help me with this bitch?” he shouted irritably. 

He glanced up when the firing suddenly ceased. He found the asari lying on the hull of the ship with blood coming from her neck. Thane stood by the body, smirking at him. “Thanks,” Tael said with relief. He watched Thane tuck a blade back into his sleeve and his eyes widened. He was very familiar with Thane’s clothes and he couldn’t remember ever seeing that particular hiding place. 

“What other surprises do you have on you?” Tael asked curiously, quirking his brow at the drell. He wasn’t expecting an answer, but Thane showed him another slender blade hidden in the collar of his jacket. 

“I’m able to hold more with this jacket,” Thane told him with a smirk as Tael’s eyes widened in appreciation. 

“Uh Tael, we have a mission to do,” Garrus reminded him as he recognized the longing look Tael gave Thane. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

It took a while for them to find the vessel’s entrance. They spent a great deal of time wandering in circles before coming across it. Shepard’s temper was rising exponentially with each moment they wasted. “You’re sure that device will work, Liara?” he asked the asari, his voice chillingly cold. 

Silence met him, and he glared at her when she avoided his gaze. “Liara, you have to be kidding me!” he yelled; glaring daggers into her back when he realized she wasn’t sure of her equipment.

Thane took a spot next to Tael, waiting for the onslaught of mercs to come their way. “Thane, remind me to airlock her when we are back onboard the Normandy,” Tael grumbled, still glaring at the asari’s back. 

Thane chuckled beside him as he took out the first merc that came their way. The first wave wasn’t that bad, but each successive group rose in difficulty. It took a long while for the doors to unlock. “Shepard, we should be able to enter now,” Liara said quietly.

Shepard gave a sigh of relief. Thane smirked, taking the lead when Tael motioned for him to do so.

Thane entered first, blending into the shadows of the darkened corridor, and Tael and Garrus followed behind him. Tael chuckled as the drell vanished from sight. He glanced at Garrus to see him shake his head. They were used to seeing Thane do something like this, but Liara’s reaction was well worth the wait for Thane to return. Liara was glancing around rapidly for him, her eyes wide with apprehension when she couldn’t spot him. Tael knew she would never find him unless he allowed it. 

Tael waited for Thane to make his way back to them. Garrus and Liara jumped when he landed right behind Tael with one hand on his shoulder. His intent was to warn the commander, as well as to have somewhere to hold on when he landed. “Did you find anything?” Tael asked, without looking back at him. 

“I hope we brought enough bullets,” Thane joked. Tael raised a brow, pleasantly surprised to hear Thane joke about the upcoming battle. 

“That bad, huh? Great,” Tael muttered. “I’ve got lead. Thane, you’re covering my back. Garrus, Liara, you’re bringing up the rear, for now,” Tael snapped out the orders. He was about to move away when he heard Thane’s parting remark. 

“With pleasure,” Thane purred, low enough for only Tael to hear. 

“Keep that up and I’ll be too distracted to fight,” Tael grinned, meeting his gaze; allowing him to see the affect his words had on him. He knew he couldn’t keep feeling this way, especially not on a mission. With a sad smile, he wiped the emotion from his face; replacing it with his cold ‘commander’s’ expression.   

They went through the halls quickly, taking out all opposition in their way. They found a small alcove where they could take a few moments’ break. The respite didn’t last long, as more reinforcements came barreling down the hallway. Tael stepped out to face their opponents; drawing fire away from his companions as they searched for their own cover. He heard Liara give a warning that her shields were down. The party was being flanked from both sides. Glancing around, Shepard swore colorfully. 

Shepard used Throw to clear the pathway before them. Thane followed suit, taking out three more agents. That action enabled Garrus and Liara to find secure places to protect themselves. “Thane, take out the ones behind us, and take Garrus with you,” Tael ordered. 

“Liara, move up beside me,” he ordered her over the comm. He continued firing as Liara took cover beside him. Tael quickly moved to the other side of the hall. “Use your biotics while I shoot them.” 

Tael was so preoccupied with the opponents coming toward them from the front that he didn’t see the mercenary who was closing in behind him. He assumed Liara was watching his back, and he let his concentration lapse. When he finally saw the merc, he didn’t have enough time to swing his gun around. He thought for sure this was the end of the line for him. The shot would be at point blank range, able to cut through his shields easily. He sighed in relief as the merc dropped to the ground, a knife sticking out the back of his neck. Tael glanced up and met Thane’s eyes. He should have figured that Thane would always have his back.  Garrus raised his brow ridge, and released a low, approving sound that came close to a whistle. 

Tael took the knife from the body, passing it back to Thane. “Looks like I owe you,” he grinned. Thane let his eyes linger on the commander a little long than necessary, and he smiled as Tael’s eyes filled with desire. 

They walked through the dead bodies, coming up to a locked door that was impossible to hack. Tael grumbled beneath his breath as he headed another way. They stopped when they came to a set of glass windows. A drell was strapped into a chair beyond the glass, and the torture he had endured was visible on his face. “Feron,” Liara cried out, startling Tael. She moved toward a control panel; and before the drell could give off a warning, she hit a switch. The drell’s body shook as currents of electricity flowed through his system. 

Tael caught her hand as she stood there, horrified. He had to make sure that she didn’t touch another switch. When he saw that she was calming down and talking rationally, he let her go. 

“Shepard, we have to cut off the power,” Liara pleaded. 

“Do you know where it is?” he asked. He was all for cutting off the power, but he didn’t want to walk into an ambush. 

“We have to go through the Shadow Broker to do it,” she murmured. Tael raised a brow. It looked like they were about to meet the man himself. Though he was anxious for the introduction, he was nervous about what they would find. 

“Okay, let’s go kill him,” Tael muttered, leading the way back down the corridor; stopping before the previously locked door. His eyes widened when he saw that it was no longer locked. “It looks like he is expecting us. Great,” he grumbled as he walked through the door. 

The party stopped as soon as they walked through the door. Shepard was still trying to figure out the race of the creature before him. “What the fuck is that?” he asked. 

“That is a Yahg. I would bet that it was brought here as a pet for the old Shadow Broker and killed him, taking over his position,” Liara muttered scowling at the Yahg. 

“Ahh, Liara T’Soni, I’m not surprised to see you here, but I am so glad that you’ve brought me Archangel. The bounty on his head is one that I will look forward to collecting. And then there is Thane Krios. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your son knows about your death,” the Yahg said, smiling menacingly. 

“I don’t fucking think so,” Shepard growled, taking a shot at the Shadow Broker. He wasn’t sure if it would harm him, but it would help to shut him up. Shepard quickly took cover as the Yahg charged. He heard a groan of pain as a nearby column crashed to the ground. Shepard quickly looked out of cover and saw Thane lying unconscious not far away; the collapsed pillar at his side. The sight of his injured lover sent a red hot rage flowing through his body.  

He warped toward the Yahg, shooting him at close range and then quickly moving out of the way. Liara used her biotics, though she wasn’t sure how she could help Shepard since he wasn’t giving orders anymore. Garrus moved up beside her, speaking softly. “Let Shepard do what he wants. Thane’s hurt and Shepard’s out for blood right now. Try taking down the Shadow Broker’s shields to aid him,” Garrus ordered. He wondered if Liara would listen to him. 

The fight was long and arduous, requiring the party to quickly move around the room. Shepard maintained close combat fighting with the Yahg, leaping away when his own shields began to falter. When bullets didn’t work on his opponent, he fought it hand-to-hand; enjoying each drop of blood he spilled from the huge creature. 

After what felt like hours, they finally managed to defeat the Yahg. Garrus’ muscles were screaming at him. Tael knelt beside Thane as he slowly sat up. Liara moved to a nearby console, searching for a way to free Feron. 

“How are you?” Tael asked Thane as he helped him to his feet. 

“I feel like something tried to crush me,” Thane joked, flinching with he chuckled; holding his side where the pillar had struck him.  

Tael chuckled, searching for signs of blood, but there was none. It appeared as though Thane’s only injury was his side. “Is anything broken?” Tael asked. 

Thane took a deep breath and shook his head. “No, just bruised. This armor is better than my other set, able to take more damage.” Thane answered, smiling when he saw the relief in Tael’s eyes.  

Shepard turned toward Liara when he heard her speaking. His eyes widened as he watched her take on the role of the Shadow Broker. He was about to say something when Feron entered the room. The drell searched the room and made his way toward Tael. 

Thane watched the drell, his territorial instincts kicking in; even though there wasn’t a reason for it. 

“Thank you for helping Liara,” Feron murmured, holding out a hand to the commander. He hesitated as he heard a low warning growl, too low for humans to hear. His eyes widened as he met the other drell’s eyes. The warning was clear in them. If he made the wrong move, it would mean his death. 

Thane was shocked at himself. He had been married for ten years and never had the urge to do anything territorial; yet here he was, warning off another drell who was only attempting to thank Tael. Even if he wanted to stop, he couldn’t. The instinct was a part of him and at the moment it was in charge. There was another drell male near Tael and he couldn’t allow it. 

“No problem. She’s lucky she made it this far,” Tael grumbled. Feron raised a curious brow, wondering what the human meant. “If she wants you to know, she’ll tell you,” Tael stated coldly at the drell’s questioning look. 

Thane glared once more at Feron. He growled again, warning him away when he moved even closer. Thane hands clenched at his side. There was a lethal look in his eyes as he stared at the intruder. 

Feron wasn’t sure what to make of the drell before him. He was shocked to hear the warning growl. The particular sound was usually reserved for warning a rival away from one’s mate, but this drell was standing beside the infamous Shepard. 

He was extremely cautious as he reached out to shake Shepard’s hand. The other drell had an air of danger to him; his eyes were empty, cold. Feron backed away quickly as the growls grew louder and  deeper; the frills on the side of his face expanding.  Feron decided to leave before a problem developed. He made a polite excuse and left the two of them alone. 

Thane watched him disappear. “Something I should know about?” Tael asked as he saw Thane glaring at Feron’s retreating back. 

“No, not now,” Thane answered, his voice deeper from the growling. 

“You know you’re as bad as Garrus at lying. What are you hiding?” Tael asked, pulling Thane into a secluded area, away from prying eyes. 

“Don’t worry about it, Tael,” Thane muttered, avoiding his gaze. 

“I could ask the other drell and get the information from him,” Tael commented, not realizing the impact his words would have. 

Thane growled again; this time at a high enough pitch for Tael to hear. Before Tael had time to react, Thane pinned him against the wall, his hands trapped beside him; pulling him into a demanding, possessive kiss. 

Tael moaned low in his throat, shuddering at the feel of Thane’s strong grip on him. He returned the kiss with equal measure, reveling in the roughness of it. “So, are you going to tell me what happened?” Tael whispered against his mouth when they broke for air. 

Thane sighed, releasing Tael’s hands. He looked past Tael’s shoulder, trying to find the words to explain the situation. When he couldn’t find words that would deter Tael from these questions, he decided on the truth. “Another drell came near you and my instincts kicked in,” he muttered. 

“Instinct?” Tael asked curiously, taking Thane’s hand in his own. 

“We warn other drells away from our….” Thane trailed off, a blush rising on his frills. 

Tael turned them so that it was Thane who had his back pressed back against the wall; quickly closing the space between them. “Our what?” he asked, his voice dropping low as he breathed the question against Thane’s mouth. 

“Mates,” Thane whispered. Tael looked shocked for a moment. Something told him ‘mates’ meant more to drells than it did to humans.  

“Hmm, maybe I should invite Feron onto the Normandy,” Tael murmured, grinning deviously. If having the other drell this close made Thane like this, having him onboard the ship would undoubtedly be worth the risk.  

Thane glared at him. He knew that Tael didn’t understand what would happen if he did that. Tael only had a taste of what a drell’s strength was like. He had been rougher with Tael than he had ever been with other female humans, but he was never possessive to the point where he would be forcing his dominance or staking his claim, whichever way you wished to look at it. 

“Tael, you won’t like the consequences,” Thane warned, storming off before he did something he would regret. He didn’t want to anger Tael with his behavior.  

Feron had been in the shadows where he could keep an eye on Liara and stay away from the other drell. He finally figured out that the two men were lovers, but how far that relationship went he wasn’t sure nor did he really care. His main concern was for Liara, who was now speaking with Commander Shepard. 

He had watched as the other drell stormed away and heard the commander’s parting words. He raised a brow ridge at the declaration. “ _Oh yes I will, Thane,”_ Tael had murmured with a smug smile. 

Feron waited until the commander was finished with Liara and went over to him, now that the other drell was gone. “Anything I can do for you?” Shepard asked as he went through some files. 

“No, but I thought you might want to ask what happened between me and the other drell,” Feros stated, waiting for him to take the bait. 

“The other drell has a name. It’s Thane Krios,” Shepard snapped coldly. 

“My apologies. Did he explain to you what happened?” Feron asked. He could see the curious glint in the commander’s eyes. 

“He said it was instinct; that he was warning you away from me,” Shepard shrugged. 

“It’s a bit more than that. We warn other drells away from our _mates_ ,” Feron smirked. 

“Why the emphasis on mates?” Shepard asked curiously. He wasn’t sure what this drell was up to, but he had piqued Shepard’s curiosity. For now he would listen to what he had to say; but if he pushed too far, he would put him in his place. 

“What do you consider a mate?” Feron asked casually. 

“Someone you’re intimate with,” Shepard shrugged. 

“For humans maybe, but for drells it’s much more than that,” he began. “A mate is someone that they have found security in, someone they trust implicitly. It is someone they would lay down their lives for. A mate is a person that accepts them as they are, without the need to hide. Finding one’s mate isn’t easy for most drells. We aren’t ones to trust easily and we always hide something if it will bring harm to the one we are with,” Feron explained, watching Tael closely to see how he would take this news. Shepard didn’t even flinch.

“Okay, so why are you explaining this to me?” Shepard asked cautiously. 

“I heard what you said and am curious as to why you haven’t told him what you want?” Feron asked curiously. 

“That is none of your business,” Shepard growled. 

“Well, it doesn’t matter. He will smell my scent on you with me being this close,” Feron chuckled, patting him on the shoulder. He let his hand slide up to his neck for a moment. Shepard was about to hit him, but the drell backed away quickly. “Just to make sure.” With that, he limped away toward Liara. 

“Garrus, Thane, head back to the Normandy. I’ll be there shortly,” Tael ordered. He walked over to Liara and Feron. “We’ll be docked here for two days and then we are heading for the Citadel,” he told Liara in case she changed her mind about becoming the next Shadow Broker. He turned to Feron. “You need medical attention. Head to the Normandy and Dr. Chakwas can help you.” 

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Feron scowled. 

“Either you go willingly, or I’ll have a few of my crew escort you,” Tael smiled deviously. “One way or another, you are going.” 

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Tael finished escorting Feron to Dr. Chakwas and headed to his room to relax. He thought Miranda’s mission had been brutal, but it had nothing on this one. He walked into his room and faintly heard the shower. Tael stripped out of his armor, leaving himself without a stich of clothing as waited for his turn in the shower. He thought about joining Thane, but decided that Thane needed some time to himself; given the scene on board the Shadow Broker’s vessel.

He watched as Thane exited the bathroom, wrapped in his usual towel. Tael smirked as he watched him move from the door. Tael brushed by Thane, heading for the shower; but hesitated when he saw Thane scenting the air.

Thane stopped dead as Tael neared. He could smell Feron’s scent on his lover. He tried to hold himself in check as Tael came closer. He thought he had his instincts under control until he brushed by him. Unable to resist, Thane shoved Tael face first against the closet wall, the commander’s hands clutched tightly in his own. He sank his teeth into Tael’s neck as he held him immobile. 

Tael moaned as lust hazed his vision. He pressed himself back against Thane, trying to drive him on. He could feel bruises forming on his wrists from Thane’s grip and reveled in it. Without warning, Thane entered him roughly. Tael gasped in pain and pleasure at the unexpected action. His greatest wish was finally coming true. He was being treated by Thane as no one had ever dared to handle him before. Garrus had come close, but he allowed Tael to have his freedom all too soon for his liking. 

Thane knew he had to regain control. He was worried that he had harmed Tael. The noises coming from Tael, however, said otherwise. He tried to reign himself in, but couldn’t. He felt Tael convulse against him, crying out his pleasure, Thane was shocked for a moment that Tael had found his release so quickly. He stopped fighting his own need and took Tael, marking him on his shoulder; allowing his scent to cover him.  

Tael leaned against the wall as Thane leaned heavily against him. He glanced over his shoulder to see a satisfied smirk on Thane’s face. He wondered about the sweet, musky scent that filled the air. He had never noticed it before. He smirked as he felt Thane purring, and the weight on his back slowly vanished. Tael glanced at the satisfied drell as laid back on the bed. He was watching Tael, his eyes filled with delightful promise. Tael wanted to take him up on it, but there were things he needed to do first. 

“As much as I want to join you, I need a shower after today,” Tael sighed, entering the bathroom.     

Tael stood under the spray of the shower, feeling his muscles relax even more. He didn’t jump when he felt Thane’s soapy hands on his back. He knew when Thane was near that he didn’t need to worry. He could feel fingers digging into his tight muscles and groaned in pleasure. “I should get the medigel,” Thane muttered as he hesitantly touched the bite mark on the base of Tael’s neck. 

“Don’t even think it,” Tael muttered, scowling at him. 

“It’ll scar if you don’t take care of it,” Thane reminded him carefully. 

Tael met his eyes. “I know,” he stated as he walked out of the washroom; a stunned Thane watching his exit. 


	19. Chapter 19

Tael stood in CIC, going over the salvage from the Shadow Broker’s lair. His eyes widened as he realized his luck. He had been worried about finding enough Element Zero for their needed upgrades, but the maps that they retrieved showed the locations of several prime mining areas. 

They would be heading for the Citadel in a few hours, and Thane had already contacted his son; telling him to meet the Normandy when it arrived. Tael didn’t want to be there any longer than he had to be. So after much debate, they were only staying three days. 

“Shepard, you have a new message,” Kelly announced. 

“Anything important?” Shepard asked, barely paying attention as he went over their remaining open missions. There weren’t many, and he was busy deciding whether they could wait until after they returned from the Omega IV relay. 

“Not sure, I didn’t check,” Kelly answered. Shepard shrugged, heading over to his private terminal. He groaned when he saw it was from Cerberus. One of their facilities had gone silent and this particular location was known for performing experiments on geth. The Illusive Man had a sense of humor; he was calling this one ‘Project Overlord’. Tael knew he had no choice but to complete the mission before they went after the IFF.

He checked out the rest of the messages. They were all fairly standard; or so he thought until he came to the last one. It was from Kolyat, wanting to know when he should show up at the docking bay. Shepard wrote him a short message, telling him they would contact him as soon as they arrived. 

“I’ll be in my quarters if I’m needed. Have Miranda send all necessary reports to my private terminal,” Tael ordered Kelly. 

“Understood, Shepard,” she replied and nodded brusquely. 

Shepard took the elevator to his cabin. Garrus and Thane were there, playing cards. “Want to join, Tael?” Garrus asked. 

“Not this time. I’ve got work to do,” he muttered, taking a seat in his office chair. He read over the reports and sighed in relief when he realized that they had enough elements mined to finish the last of the upgrades; providing no one came up with any more ideas. 

The upgrades that they had already installed were working without a hitch. However, he noted that there was no report from Garrus on the canons. He glanced up at the turian as he dealt another hand. “Garrus, what’s the status of the canons?” he asked. 

“Didn’t you get my report?” he asked. 

“It’s not on my terminal,” Tael muttered, then looked over his desk. He found it buried beneath some datapads. “Never mind, found it.” He glanced at the other datapad and saw it was filled with personnel reports. He groaned when he saw those. _More work - just what I wanted,_ he thought and scowled angrily.

He opened up another file, looking over the personal missions that various crew members had asked him to do. The party Kasumi planned to crash was coming up soon. He was surprised that there was no mission from Tali. He also wondered if she was even speaking to him again. He had left her alone and it had been a couple of months since they last spoke. 

Kasumi’s mission would come first, and then he would do this new Cerberus mission. They would head to the party when they left the Citadel. He still needed to talk to Thane about the details that Kasumi had given him. He needed to take a date; and since he would be socializing with humans, a female date would be preferable. Thane was just going to _love_ that. Thane’s recent possessive streak thrilled the commander, but he wondered how his lover would react to this latest development. 

Garrus glanced toward Shepard. He decided to try one last time to get him to relax with them. He watched as Tael’s brows furrowed, and a frown marred his face. He turned to Thane, but the drell was focused on his cards. Garrus nudged Thane, nodding toward Tael.

Thane narrowed his eyes when he saw the look on Tael’s face. He wasn’t focused on the computer, or a datapad. Garrus smirked as Thane moved over to Tael, wondering what the problem could be. 

Thane stood beside Tael and was shocked when he didn’t turn to him immediately. “What is it?” Thane asked and smirked when the human jumped. His smile grew wider as Tael scowled at him. 

“Don’t worry about it right now. We can talk later,” he muttered. Thane gave him a searching look before taking his hand and pulling him up from his desk. Tael smirked as they walked over to Garrus and the deck of cards. 

“So you’re finally going to play,” Garrus grinned. 

“Uh-huh,” Tael grinned deviously. 

“So… I guess I should just hand over my money now?” Garrus groused, passing the cards over to Tael. He watched as the commander shuffled the cards stylishly; fanning them out and flipping them neatly to make a stack once more before dealing them. He chuckled when he saw the raised brow ridge from Thane. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Thane curled up to Tael. It was late when Garrus headed to bed, having left all his money behind. He smirked, remembering how Tael had nearly broken them both. “So, what was bothering you earlier?”

“Kasumi’s mission. It’s a party and I have to bring a date,” Tael muttered. He smirked as he felt Thane tense beside him.  

Tael raised a brow as Thane’s eyes narrowed, and a low rumbling growl reached his ears. “Who?” the drell asked, trying to keep himself under control. 

“Beats the hell out of me. The list is very limited. I can’t use Jack for obvious reasons and Tali won’t work because everyone knows that quarians get sick if they leave their environment suits. Finally, I would rather shoot Miranda than take her. I might even ask someone to shoot me, in that particular case,” Tael shrugged. 

“That leaves Samara and Kasumi,” Thane rumbled. 

“Yep, but can you see Samara hanging onto my arm for show?” Tael asked. “I don’t think so. Kasumi is out of the question, as well. This is her mission and there is a high chance they would never believe that she’s my companion. So I’m game to any suggestions you can come up with,” Tael muttered, rolling onto his side to face Thane. 

“It has to be a female? A male wouldn’t do?” Thane spat, obviously disgusted. 

“Usually I would say yes, but these are humans and a lot of them aren’t very open-minded,” Tael replied and chuckled as Thane began to scowl at him. 

Thane growled low in his chest. Though Tael couldn’t hear it, he could feel it. “Though their reaction would be well worth it,” he added, nodding slowly. Thane’s growls tapered off as he looked at Tael. His eyes narrowed when he saw the mischievous grin break out on Tael’s face. “So, do you think Jacob would be available?” 

Tael didn’t have time to react before he found himself flat on his back, looking up at Thane. He chuckled quietly as Thane glared down at him. He had been expecting this reaction. It was what he wanted – for his assassin to lose control. “You’re playing a dangerous game,” Thane warned. 

“Not dangerous enough it seems. You’re still thinking,” Tael grinned.

“What do you want from me?” Thane growled, pinning him against the bed. Tael’s legs were trapped between Thane’s; his hands held immobile above his head. 

Tael met his eyes squarely. He wondered for a second what Thane would think of what he was about to say. Would he be disgusted, or distance himself? “This is what I want. I don’t want to be in control,” Tael spat heatedly. 

Thane smiled lustily at him, the desire burning in his eyes as his grip tightened on Tael’s hands. If Tael wanted to be dominated, he would be happy to comply. Tael’s baiting remarks had help fuel his dominant side and he wasn’t going to ignore it; especially now that he knew Tael would enjoy it. Thane gave him a bruising kiss, his marking scent coming alive as he felt Tael twitch beneath him.

Thane gave a feral growl, clamping his teeth on Tael’s shoulder. He felt the skin give way at the same time he thrust deeply into Tael’s body. He heard Tael cry out his name as he pounded into his firm body ruthlessly. 

Tael was in heaven, his body shuddering with each thrust. Thane seemed to fill him even more than usual. His scales shone a bright green, and the black stripes on his body glowed. Tael could feel the heat radiating off of Thane’s normally cool body. 

Thane hesitated, sure that he was misreading the signs his body was exhibiting. There was no way this was happening right now. His frills were burning, and the purr that issued from his lips was far deeper than normal.

Thane felt Tael release,  and it brought him to his own climax. His whole body locked up, his teeth never leaving Tael’s shoulder. Thane knew the moment he emptied himself inside Tael that he was about to bond with his human lover. He had no choice in the matter; his instincts had taken over and there was no way to stop it. If Tael had been female, this would be the way to make sure his mate became pregnant. Tael was now what drells would call his ‘bonded mate’. The closest human equivalent would be a ‘soul mate’. 

Tael’s stiffened as Thane grew even bigger inside him. But instead of softening, he stayed erect; his body locking with his lover. Every now and then Thane would shudder as another orgasm ripped through him. Tael could feel teeth sinking deeper into his shoulder, shocked as he felt saliva running down his back. He knew it wasn’t blood as it didn’t have the same consistency.

Tael tried to jerk his arms out of Thane’s grip, receiving a growl for his efforts. Tael reached down, his head at an awkward angle, and ran his tongue over the frills that he could reach. Thane snarled against his skin in response, but that’s not what stopped Tael. The drell’s normally dry, soft skin was drenched, sweet tasting, and swollen. The commander was no longer sure what was going on. 

Thane tried to get control of his body. He’d nearly succeeded when he felt Tael lick his frills. That shattered the last of his attempt at control. His marking scent came out stronger, and his body jerked as he felt Tael nuzzle the side of his head. This encounter was a first for Thane. He’d heard and read about it, but had never experienced it. 

Thane wasn’t sure how long they stayed locked together before his body finally began to relax. His greatest concern was how Tael would react.       

Thane lifted his head to look at Tael. For the first time in Tael’s life, he felt like the prey instead of the predator; and he wasn’t sure how to respond. Thane had utterly dominated him. 

“Thane, what just happened?” he whispered, swallowing thickly. A sense of foreboding rushed through him. He somehow knew that this would be life-altering for him and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it; even though he cared for Thane more than he ever thought he could care for someone. 

Thane took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat and clear his mind. He wasn’t sure if he should answer Tael or if he should wait until another time, when he was sure Tael would be more receptive to it. 

“I lost control,” Thane muttered, avoiding his gaze. 

“That I believe, but that was a lot more than losing control,” Tael commented, watching him intently. He held his breath, hoping that it wasn’t as bad as his mind was making it.  

“Yes, it was. Unexpected, too,” Thane murmured as he moved to a sitting position. 

“What was unexpected?” Tael asked, frustration seeping into his voice when Thane wouldn’t come clean. 

Thane turned to him, giving him a searching look. He wanted to tell him, but he also knew Tael’s temper. “Usually when drells marry, they marry their mates and bond with them. Bonding usually takes place during intimacies between mates and makes it easier for them to create a child. It’s instinctual to bite ones mate and allow saliva run into the wound, making the ‘marking scent’ stronger. What happened here was exactly that,” Thane told him. He kept his eyes focused on his hands. He couldn’t face Tael right now; he didn’t want to see the rejection in his eyes. He knew that it would kill him. 

“Okay, but something tells me there is more to this,” Tael stated, slightly confused and unsure. What Thane said so far didn’t sound that bad. He already knew Thane thought of him as his mate and knew some of the meaning behind it.  However, Thane was behaving as though there was more going on than what he was saying, and that concerned Tael.  

“Within my race, you would be known as my ‘bonded mate’. It’s more than simple marriage. The closest phrase in your culture would be a ‘soul mate’. It is a rare occurrence, even among married couples,” Thane muttered wearily, waiting for Tael’s horror; his revulsion and anger. 

Tael sat there, stunned. He didn’t know what to say. He tried to find a response for Thane, but he couldn’t get passed the declaration. A month ago, the very thought of being bound to another would have horrified him. Now he wasn’t sure what to make of it. A part of him was upset that this was happening; that Thane was not giving him enough time to come to terms with his feelings. He’d barely had time enough to admit it to himself. However, another part of him was elated at the news. It gave him hope that Thane would eventually say the words that he knew he had no right to hear.  

Thane sat silently, waiting for Tael to say something. The fact that he hadn’t run yet gave Thane some hope, however slight. “Thane, answer me one thing. Did you plan this?” Tael asked in a voice that was devoid of emotion. 

“No. I never thought this could happen between same-sex partners,” he answered quietly. The coldness in Tael’s voice made him hesitate. _Was he losing Tael now?_ He was afraid he might have been right when he thought of keeping the news to himself.  

“Why did this happen?” Tael asked calmly. Relief rushed through him when he realized that Thane was just at lost as he was. 

“I assume it was because of the discovery I made a couple of days ago. If you were female, my reaction at the Shadow Broker’s lair would have told me I could make a bond with you. But you’re not and I didn’t think it could still happen. When it happens I have no choice; instinct takes over. But I don’t understand why it happened with you. You’re human, not drell; and you’re male, so…” he trailed off, feeling like he had already lost Tael. It hurt - he could feel Tael’s emotional distance. 

“That’s when you were warning away Feron, and making it known you thought of me as your mate?” Tael asked calmly. He was still not sure what to make of all this. He didn’t know what this meant for the two of them. But the sadness on Thane’s face stopped him, wrenching his heart. Tael moved over to him, taking a seat behind him and bringing him close. He heard Thane let out a sigh as he leaned back against him. 

Thane nodded his head, keeping silent. “So, what do we do now?” Tael asked, scared of the answer he would receive.

“We go on as we were. Nothing changes unless you want it to change,” Thane shrugged, trying to keep his tone nonchalant; when, in fact, that was furthest thing from the truth. This changed everything for him. He never once in his life thought he would be bonded, but now he was. It changed more than he was willing to admit at the moment and it would probably have Tael running scared if he knew the full story. “But there will be something that I won’t be able to control.” 

Tael had begun to relax, but his body once again tightened up as he spoke. “What won’t you be able to control?” he asked in a controlled voice. 

“My instinct to warn away others,” Thane whispered. 

“So, in other words, not much different from now,” Tael chuckled, relief sweeping through him. He had thought the answer was going to be something more dramatic than it was.  

Thane raised his eyes and gave him a serious look. “And it won’t be limited to drells,” he stated without a trace of amusement in his voice. 

“So we are talking about anything on two legs, whatever the species? If that’s the case, we may have a problem. I have a ship full of people that are single. I can’t have you warning all of them away,” Tael said impatiently, though he couldn’t balk at what Thane said. He knew he would do the same. 

“I don’t know what it will entail. This is new to me, too,” Thane bit out, frustrated. 

“You were married before,” Tael reminded him. 

“Yes, but we didn’t bond.” Thane replied heatedly. 

“But you had Kolyat,” Tael said, his voice filled with confusion. 

“Drells still marry without being bonded. Most marry out of love. We don’t need to be bonded to procreate,” Thane explained with a small smile. 

“And I thought humans could be confusing,” Tael chuckled. “So, Thane, are there any more surprises I should know about?” 

“To be honest, I don’t know,” he answered tiredly. “I think I need to meditate for a bit.”

“You should rest and then meditate. I’ll be leaving for the CIC in a few minutes,” Tael told him as he walked over to the shower.  Thane watched him for a moment, his final words replaying in his mind. Tael sounded like a mate, making sure that he rested before taking on anything strenuous. If he was true with himself, he would have to admit that they were mates long before this night. They had proven it many times by being there for each other, each one knowing when the other was troubled. 

Thane wondered what exactly would change between them. He had no idea and there was only one drell he could ask. He didn’t want to see Feron, especially now, but he knew he would have to talk to him if he wanted answers. The more Thane thought about going to the other drell, the more he disliked the idea. 

He jumped when he heard Tael’s voice as walked out of the washroom. “I never thought I would see you with that look,” Tael grinned when Thane’s gaze snapped toward him. 

“What look?” Thane asked, his eyes narrowing. 

“It looked like someone just signed your death warrant,” Tael shrugged. “So, what’s bothering you?”

“I need more information on what happened and the only drell I know near enough is Feron,” he growled. 

“Ahh, that explains a lot. I think you should leave him alone. Talk to Mordin. He seems to have information on everything. Or you could speak to….” Tael trailed off as Samara’s name came to mind, but he didn’t think he would be able to hold his temper long enough for Thane to speak to her alone. 

Thane looked at him expectantly. “Forget it. You’re not going there. So you only have Mordin,” Tael growled. 

Thane raised a brow, trying to think of who Tael was about to mention. Suddenly the name came to him. Samara was the only person Tael would be that adamant about. Thane smirked, moving over to Tael; his brow ridge raised in amusement. “Don’t worry, if I do talk to her, I’ll make sure we are in the Mess Hall,” he said, holding in his laughter. He felt better about his territorial instincts after seeing Tael’s. 

“You keep on laughing,” Tael muttered, glaring at him. “I’m going to the CIC. I’ll have Mordin meet us here in about an hour.” Thane watched as he walked out of the room. 

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Tael walked onto the CIC in only a muscle shirt and pants, forgoing his normal uniform. He didn’t care that most of his scars were showing or that numerous sets of eyes were following him as he made his way to Joker. 

“Hey, Joker, get us to the Citadel as soon as you can,” Tael ordered. 

“Holy shit, Tael, what happened to you?” Joker asked, his eyes widening as he stared at the commander’s shoulder. It looked like someone tried to take a chuck out of him. The mark was still weeping blood. 

Tael smirked, raising a brow. “Are you sure you really wish me to answer that question?” 

Joker’s gaze shifted between the mischievous look on Tael’s face to the bite mark. Suddenly he realized who had probably caused it. Did he really want to know what Thane and Tael did in their room? NO, definitely not. “I’ll just let my imagination take it from here,” Joker muttered with a grin. 

“You do that,” Tael chuckled as he walked away. 

Tael headed for Mordin’s room. The Salarian was at his table, looking over some data. “Mordin, can you look at my shoulder?” Tael asked. He knew there would be damage. Thane hadn’t been gentle. He watched Mordin walk over to him and stop. Sniffing the air, the salarian’s nose wrinkled. It was as if Thane was standing in room with Tael.

“I’m not going near you without Thane here,” Mordin said, raising his hands and shaking his head adamantly. 

“So, Thane was right. Meet me in my quarters as soon as you can,” Tael ordered, not giving the doctor a chance to refuse. “Make sure you bring all data you have on drells.” 

“Will be there in a little bit. Must finish reading Thane’s test results,” Mordin said, turning his back on Tael; dismissing him. 

“You know, Mordin, you are the only one on this ship who dismisses me and lives to tell the story. I wouldn’t keep doing it,” Tael warned before walking out. 

Mordin looked up at the closing doors, a shiver of fear racing down his back. He would heed Tael’s warning, but first he had things to do. Bringing out a new datapad, he went to his computer; retrieving the information that Shepard and Thane would no doubt want and need. He walked out of the room and headed for the Mess Hall to find a certain turian. 

He found Garrus sitting at one of the tables, eating his lunch. “Garrus, pay up,” Mordin grinned, holding out his hand. 

“What? I don’t think so. Tael and Thane are not married,” Garrus grinned, remembering the bet they had made when Tael allowed Thane to move into his quarters.  

“Nope, they aren’t. They are bonded,” Mordin stated triumphantly. Garrus gaped at him, his mouth hanging open. What liquid food had been in his mouth began dribbling down his chin. Mordin chuckled as he watched the stunned turian. Garrus stared at the outstretched hand and placed the credit chips in it. He knew Mordin wasn’t lying; he had no reason to and he wasn’t one to lie. 

Mordin made his way up to Shepard’s room, wondering how they were going to have this talk. He didn’t know much about it other than what he read from studies. Though he assumed it was still more than either Thane or Tael knew. 

The doors opened before him before he had a chance to knock. Tael was at his desk while Thane was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed; his palms resting lightly on his knees and his eyes closed. He looked to be in deep concentration. Mordin knew he meditated often, but had never witnessed it before. He wasn’t sure if he should interrupt or come back at another time. 

“Give him a few more minutes,” Tael answered his unasked question quietly. Mordin moved further into the room, only to be stopped by a look from Tael. Mordin was shocked to see that look turned his way. He had seen Tael give it their enemy many times. Each time he gave it, the enemy would hesitate. Mordin finally figured out why they hesitated - they were praying. 

He nodded his head quickly and stayed still. After a few minutes, the longest amount of time that Mordin had ever stood in one place quietly, Thane opened his eyes and rose to his feet. “Did you figure out anything?” Tael asked when Thane moved over beside him. Mordin moved further into the room, giving Thane space to maneuver. 

“I’m not sure yet,” he answered quietly before turning his attention to Mordin.  Mordin watched as Thane’s posture straightened and he clasped his hands behind his back. His posture suggested a relaxed state, but Mordin knew better; he could see the tension in his various muscles. Thane wasn’t relaxed. He was putting up barriers that Mordin hadn’t known were there. The only time he had seen Thane for extended periods was in his lab. Mordin now realized that Thane had barriers, too, that he only released for Tael. He wished he had been able to document this relationship from beginning to end. It would have been very educational, but he valued his life and either one of them would have killed him for his intrusion. 

Mordin waited impatiently for Shepard or Thane to speak. Neither of them started the conversation, so he decided to take things into his own hands and hoped he would be able to walk out on his own when he was done. “Know that Thane has bonded with you. Also know that you accepted the bond,” Mordin blurted out. He smirked as they raised their brows at him, neither one attacking or seeming upset. 

“How did I accept the bond?” Tael asked, not remembering accepting it. Actually he didn’t really have a choice at the time. Not that he was complaining; nor would he complain about it now. A warning would have been nice, however.  

Mordin looked at him, shifting uncomfortably. Tael’s eyes narrowed and Mordin knew he had to answer, no matter how uncomfortable he was with his type of conversation. This wasn’t the same as giving vague instructions and leaving data behind to fill in the blanks. Tael wanted him to come out and say it. Mordin called upon years of training and faced Shepard; his ‘doctor’ mask in place. “You had intercourse with him. Only time bonding shows itself. If you hadn’t had sex, wouldn’t have bonded with Thane,” Mordin told him curtly.  

“Okay, what can you tell us about problems that can arise with this bond?” Tael asked casually. This conversation didn’t bother him in the least, but he was enjoying the discomfort that Mordin didn’t realize he was showing.  

“Drell are territorial by nature, with bonded mates even more so. Race doesn’t matter; any unmated person would be considered a threat,” Mordin stated. 

“Oh, this is going to be fun. I’m the commander of a ship of unmated people,” Tael scoffed. “Well, Thane, you’re just going to have to keep that part under control.” 

“The people on the ship aren’t a worry, but outsiders might be a problem,” Thane murmured thoughtfully. Tael raised a quizzical brow and Thane sighed. “I know you have no interest in any person on this ship, including Garrus. Quite a few you would rather airlock or ignore. Though when it comes to people outside of the ship, I cannot be certain of my reactions.”

“It would depend on your reaction to people you interact with,” Mordin cut in. Tael nodded slowly as he comprehended what Mordin was trying to say. If he showed interest of any kind in a stranger, then Thane would have problems. 

“Well, that I can live with,” Tael shrugged. “But my one question is how did this happen? He’s a drell and I am human,” Tael asked Mordin. 

“Unknown at the moment. Have to investigate, do research, gather data,” Mordin rhymed off, his eyes brightening as he eyed the two. 

“Forget it, it’s not happening. I see any information about mine and Thane’s relationship in your studies….” Tael trailed off, his tone dangerously low as he moved toward Mordin. 

“No information, no studies, knew you wouldn’t like it. But remember, drell are territorial by nature as you are. Neither should be near people they previously had relations with,” Mordin reminded him. 

“That will be impossible. There are a few people on the ship I can’t avoid. Those that are off the ship are not a problem to avoid,” Tael muttered.  

“Even your Aria?” Thane asked lethally, his onyx eyes turning cold as he watched Tael. Mordin watched the interaction with interest, seeing how Thane’s demeanor changed so quickly and how Tael reacted to it.  

Tael chuckled. “You’re never going to let me live that one down, are you? I’ll even introduce the two of you if you want,” Tael said and shrugged, smirking as Thane hissed. Tael raised a brow at the new noise. He hadn’t heard him hiss before and it was an interesting sound. 

“Tael…” Thane warned, his eyes turning to cold, deadly pits. 

“The last time you gave me that look…” Tael trailed off, winking at Thane. Mordin watched avidly for a few more minutes, his interest piqued. 

Thane closed his eyes, slowly shaking his head, “You enjoy living dangerously,” he muttered, not sure if he should be insulted or amused. 

“How else is there to live?” Tael asked with a quirk of his brow. 

Mordin watched the exchange with mild amusement; he wasn’t sure what to make of this. But he knew he shouldn’t have expected anything different either of them. Thane was the calm one. He was the one that soothed the relationship, while Tael was what brought it to life. He was the opposite of Thane in almost every way, but they were very well suited to each other. They understood each other. 

He knew it was time to leave as soon as Thane’s mouth descended, capturing Shepard’s. Mordin made a hasty escape, scraping his hand along Shepard’s desk. He cursed as he raced from the room, only to find that he had to wait for the elevator. It was taking way too long to arrive. He didn’t want to be standing there, listening to the sounds that left little to the imagination.

Mordin made it back to his office, very disturbed. Talking about relationships and gathering information about it was one thing; but to actually hear the act was something he didn’t want to go through again. Though on the bright side, it did give him more information. 


	20. Chapter 20

Tael glared at the dreaded black tailored suit draped across the bed. It would be the first suit he had worn in more time than he cared to remember. He glanced over at the drell when he heard him snicker. Thane was watching him in amusement; he never thought a suit could put a look of disgust on a person’s face, but Tael looked like he would rather be doing latrine duty than examining his new clothes. Thane found it quite amusing, especially when the scowl turned his way. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Tael sneered at his lover. Thane leaned back on the couch, with one arm draped across the back, his grin growing larger at Tael’s words.

Tael’s annoyance increased as he remembered the argument they had for hours about going onto the Citadel to purchase a suit. Thane had won part of the argument; Tael was going to wear a suit, but he would not be stepping foot on the Citadel. Tael felt a shiver of nerves at the wicked glint in his lover’s eyes when he finally relented. 

“You don’t like it?” Thane asked innocently. He wasn’t insulted by Tael’s reaction in the least. He would have been utterly shocked if Tael had like the suit.

“It’s a suit,” Tael sneered disgustedly. 

“And it’s supposed to be tailored to your measurements,” Thane said and held in his laughter. He’d never seen Tael so annoyed, not even when Liara made her attentions toward him known. 

“I don’t give a fuck. It’s a suit,” Tael muttered forlornly. 

Thane could no longer hold in his amusement and began chuckling. “You are enjoying this way too much,” Tael groused. 

“Do you blame me?” Thane asked mockingly as he moved over to Tael. “I’m not sure which will be more amusing; your reaction to looking at the suit or seeing how you will behave when you finally have to wear it,” Thane commented with mirth in his voice. 

“You’re an ass,” Tael glared at Thane when he stood behind him.  

“What else would you wear, other than a suit?” Thane asked passively. He was curious as to what Tael would answer. _Probably a muscle shirt and pants,_ Thane thought with a smirk.

“Dress shirt and pants,” Tael shrugged. Thane looked at him, amused; he was pleasantly surprised that he had been wrong. But a dress shirt and pants wouldn’t be good enough for this party. “What are you wearing?” Tael asked with narrowed eyes. 

“A drell’s version of a tuxedo,” Thane shrugged, moving over to the closet and removing his outfit. Tael raised a brow when he saw the outfit. He should have known it would be formfitting and black. “Fine, you win. I’ll wear the suit,” he grumbled, ignoring Thane’s smug smile. 

“It won’t be that bad. You’ll be able to remove the clothing once we are onboard once more,” Thane reminded him. 

Tael nodded his head as he fingered the material of the suit. He should have known Thane would have picked up the most expensive one available. Going by his own wardrobe, the commander shouldn’t have been surprised. Most of Thane’s clothes were on the higher end of the pricing scale. 

Tael turned back to him with a curious look. “On any of your contracts, did you have to wear something you didn’t enjoy?” Tael asked him and grinned when Thane squirmed.

“I was contracted to kill a man who hired out exotic dancers. My investigation showed he enjoyed his dancers more than the people hiring them did. I had to dress up as one of the male dancers to get near him. They didn’t wear much,” Thane scowled as he talked.    

Tael wasn’t sure what to say to that, but his eyes narrowed when Thane’s eyes lit up. “You need to try on the suit to make sure it fits,” he announced. Tael groaned in despair as he scowled down at the suit. He jerked off his shirt and pants and slipped the suit on. He wasn’t impressed with this. His agitated movements slowed as Thane came over, brushing Tael’s hands out of the way. He finished buttoning the rest of his shirt. Shepard was glad it was designed in such a way that he wouldn’t be forced to wear a tie. “There, how does it feel?” Thane asked. 

“Tight, but it will do,” he shrugged, grimacing as the shirt and coat pulled at his shoulders. _Damn! This would definitely limit any movement,_ he scowled at the thought. 

Thane raised his brow ridge. He could see how tight it was. Now he wondered how he would get Teal onto the Citadel to have a proper fitting done. “I know, you don’t have to say it. After your son leaves, I’ll go to the shop and have my measurements taken,” Tael muttered, glaring at Thane. He noticed a glint in Thane’s eyes and realization dawned on him. “You planned this, didn’t you?” Tael hissed as he moved to the bathroom. He ran his hand through his hair and stepped in front of the mirror. 

His heart stopped. Anger, rage and fear raced through him. He wasn’t looking at himself in the mirror; he was looking at his father when he was younger. The resemblance was uncanny and scary. He looked exactly like the man he hated with a passion; who had made his childhood a living hell. 

Tael closed his eyes, trying to keep his anger under control as Thane had been teaching him. Take deep even breaths, clear your mind and focus on your breathing. But it didn’t work like he thought it would. 

_The lights were out in his bedroom; he was just settling in for the night. His mom and dad had a dinner party on the ship, so he knew they would be in good spirits when they returned. His father had been more upset lately for some odd reason._

_He was just drifting asleep when his father entered his room. He was pissed. His steps stilled as he walked over to the bed, and saw that he was awake. That night was the first time his father laid a hand on him in anger, but not the last._ It hadn’t ended until he was old enough to fight back. His father taught him one important thing - don’t fall in love, it’s not worth it. All it brings is pain and heartache. He might have been right at the time, but Thane was showing him something different. Love doesn’t bring only pain and heartache. He was showing Tael that it could heal, as well. 

Tael bowed his head, an anguished cry leaving him. He couldn’t look at that reflection anymore. His fist smashed into the glass, erasing the image of his father. He heard the door open and didn’t turn. He couldn’t, not with his demon controlling him. He felt Thane’s hand on his shoulder, trying to turn him, but he wouldn’t relent. The last shards hung on the frame, showing him in the suit; looking like his father on the night that changed everything. 

“Don’t, Thane,” Tael whispered.

Thane watched him for a moment, trying to piece together Tael’s history and what would cause him to smash a mirror. His eyes fixed on the remaining shard in the mirror frame, and slowly a thought came to him. He knew more about Tael’s past than he thought he would ever know. He knew about the abuse; the fights between his parents and him as a young child, and the way he took the brunt of his father’s anger. 

Thane took a step closer, resting his other hand on Tael’s side; urging him to talk with the touch. He watched as Tael slowly shook his head. He saw the sadness in his eyes when Tael looked at him over his shoulder. “Tael?” he questioned quietly. 

“I look like him. Exactly like the first time he hit me,” Tael sneered, his body tensing to strike the mirror once more. Thane grabbed his arm, turning him around. 

Tael saw understanding in the drell’s eyes. Thane knew more about him than anyone in the entire universe. Most wouldn’t have dared to touch him while he was like this, but Thane knew he would never harm him. Tael couldn’t turn to Thane in rage; he brought out the calmness in him.

Thane’s first thought was to hunt down his father, but that wasn’t an option at the moment. It explained a lot with Tael. Why he trusted no one, and why he ran away whenever there were emotions involved in a situation. Thane moved closer, laying one hand on Tael’s cheek to regain his attention. 

Tael met his eyes; Thane was his rock when he was in turmoil. Thane was what helped him not lose himself in times like this. “Give me a moment. It… this… brought back too many memories,” Tael muttered. Thane took a step back, understanding Tael’s need to collect himself. 

“You’re not him,” Thane said fiercely, ignoring the pain in his foot when he stepped on some broken glass. “Tael, the fact that you look like him means nothing. You are nothing like him.” 

Tael had noticed his flinch and without warning, Thane found himself lifted and seated on the edge of the desk. “Thane, I’m not wearing this suit; not when I look like _him_ ,” Tael stated calmly, trying to keep his rage under control. To occupy his mind, he took Thane’s foot; looking at the cut on the bottom. He could see the glass shard sticking out. His eyes locked with Thane’s and he yanked out the shard of glass. 

“What would you suggest you wear?” Thane asked casually, barely flinching when Tael removed the glass. 

“Thane, I would go to that party naked if it meant that I didn’t look like him!” Tael stated heatedly. Thane’s eyes widened. He knew Tael’s thoughts on walking around topless in front of strangers. He would never allow strangers to see the scars on his body. 

“There is one solution,” Thane murmured, running his hand through Tael’s thick hair to get his attention and to help calm him. Thane enjoyed touching his hair; it was a new experience. What he thought would be rough and course was actually quite soft.  

Tael mistook Thane’s suggestion. “If that’s what it takes so I don’t look like him, I’ll shave my head bald,” Tael smirked as Thane looked at him, horrified. 

“No,” he said abruptly as he grabbed a handful of hair. Tael was his first true experience with hair, and he enjoyed the feel of it, the warmth he felt from it. _But most of all it was the helpful with direction,_ he thought with a smirk.

“Fine, I won’t cut it, but we’ll have to find something different for me to wear,” Tael muttered as he stripped out of the coat and shirt. Thane didn’t help him, this wasn’t the time. Tael was still raw at seeing his reflection. With his shirt and coat draped across the back of the chair, Tael started cleaning up the shards of glass from the bathroom. When the last one was gone, he had EDI send someone up to bring something for the smaller shards. 

Thane went over to the couch. In a few hours his son would be on board to talk with Tael. He was worried how that meeting would go. Tael wasn’t the easiest person to talk to and his son was young and still had a lot of anger in him. He was worried about the possible explosion if Kolyat and Shepard didn’t listen to each other. Tael may be a different person around him and a few other people on board, but that didn’t mean he had softened to the degree that you would call him safe. He wasn’t; cross him and he would kill you without thought. 

Garrus walked in with a smirk as he passed Tael supplies to clean up the rest of the mess. He took a seat beside Thane. “What happened?” he asked Thane, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

“I picked him up a suit for Kasumi’s party and he said he looked like his father,” Thane said pointedly. 

“Ouch. That’s why the mirror is broken. Have you figured out what he’s going to dress up in, then?” Garrus asked. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Thane grumbled. “I wish I’d killed his father when I had a chance.”

“You and me both. When his father shoved that blade through him two years ago, I wanted to kill him; but Tael was more important at that time,” Garrus scowled. 

Tael moved over to them once he finished cleaning, grabbing some food that Thane had picked up and placed in the small fridge they now had. It was the best thing Thane could have done. Now he didn’t have to eat Gardener’s cooking. Thane’s side of the mini fridge consisted of fruits and vegetables that Tael was glad he didn’t have to eat. _Give me a large slab of meat any day,_ he thought with a smirk.

Tael turned to Thane, trying to ignore their discussion. His father was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now, or ever. “Hungry?” he asked, holding up one of the prepared meals. Thane glanced up sharply when he heard the strain in his voice. Garrus hadn’t noticed from what Thane could see; or if he had noticed, he didn’t let it show, which was for the best. If Garrus would have said something, it would have made the situation worse. Tael was still collecting himself and it would take a bit for him to fully relax.  

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Kolyat sat in the C-Sec office waiting for his appointment with Commander Shepard. Time was passing slowly and he was becoming antsy. He thought back to the gentleman he met a month ago, while he had been out with some friends. The gentleman had overheard that he was to meet Shepard. From then on, they had talked quite often. He seemed nice enough, but there was something wrong and Kolyat couldn’t place what that was. 

He glanced up when heard someone nearing. The same gentleman, Frank Shepard, stood before him. “Are you ready to go and see my son?” he asked with a grin. Kolyat shivered at the grin. It wasn’t right; there was a coldness to it that put him on edge. He wasn’t worried about bringing this man to meet with Shepard. Kolyat was sure if Shepard didn’t like him or if the guy did something wrong, he would handle it. But Kolyat didn’t want to be there if that was the case. He would slip out of the door before Shepard laid a hand on the man.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Kolyat muttered, leading the way to the docking bay. He made sure he could keep an eye on the man.

“So you said your father works for my son? What does he do?” Frank asked curiously. If his plan was going to work, he needed more information about the people working onboard the ship. He had the perfect opportunity to get his son alone without that turian and drell intervening. His moved his shoulder, still feeling an ache from the break that had been there. It never healed properly, but for what he had planned, it wouldn’t matter. 

“It doesn’t matter what he did. He works for the commander now,” Kolyat bit out. He didn’t want to talk about his father being an assassin; one of the best in the galaxy, actually. His father and he just started having civil conversations. For the longest time Kolyat never answered his messages; not until just a few months ago. Now they were talking regularly, but he needed this meeting with Shepard. He knew his father was lying to him and he knew Shepard wouldn’t lie to him. Actually, he would probably take great pleasure in telling him that they were never coming back and he would never see his father. He knew Shepard wouldn’t soften his words, nor would he hold anything back. And that was what Kolyat wanted.

Since his first meeting with Shepard he had been impressed, even though it left him shaking in his boots. The commander scared him, but he also forced Kolyat to see reality. No matter how much he wanted to hate his father, he couldn’t. A person like Shepard didn’t go on missions unless they were life threatening. He didn’t take time from his schedule to help others unless that was important. That was how he realized he was important to his father. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard leaned back on the bed, watching as Thane paced. “Thane, it’s time for you to leave. Your son is going to be here shortly,” Tael said for the third time. 

“I know, but…” Thane trailed off and gave him a pointed look. 

Tael sighed in annoyance. “I promise I won’t kill him or harm him. That’s the best you are getting,” he said quietly.

“After your meeting with Kolyat, I wish to see him. Once that is done, we’ll go and purchase a different suit,” Thane grinned as Tael groaned. 

“God, you’re a pain in the ass. Fine, I’ll go with you to purchase a fucking suit,” Tael glared at him as Thane chuckled. He hated what he had to do next. He hated that Kolyat wanted this meeting without Thane, but it was what the kid wanted. As far as Tael was concerned, there had better be a damned good fucking reason or there was going to be hell to pay. “But at the moment you should leave. He’s supposed to be here soon.” Tael sighed as he watched hurt replace the smile that was in Thane’s eyes. Tael did the only thing he could think of. He reached out, brushing Thane’s cheek lightly; getting his attention once again. “Just think of the torture you get to put me through shortly,” Tael smirked, trying to lighten the dour mood. 

He watched Thane nod sadly and walk out of the door. Tael swore colorfully. Thane wanted to see his son so badly, and it hurt him that his son wanted this to be a private conversation. He hated to see Thane suffering; so much that he almost went after him and told he could stay, regardless of Kolyat’s wishes. 

                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Joker looked at the screen in front of him. Thane’s kid stood there, waiting for him to open the doors. Joker opened the outer door, turning his chair toward the airlock and waiting for him to enter. He did the mental countdown on how long it would take in decontamination. The doors slid open and Kolyat stepped out. “Head for the elevator and take it to the top floor. The commander is waiting for you there,” Joker told him as he turned back to his console; missing Kolyat’s companion. 

Frank walked beside the kid, smirking at how easy this was. He kept a sharp eye out for people that were on this deck the last time he had been here; but there was no one familiar, except the pilot. Even that bitchy girl was gone; the one with the short blond hair. 

He followed the kid into the elevator and watched him closely as he pushed the button to the upper level. So far no one knew he was on board and soon he would have his revenge. 

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

EDI scanned the other body signature in the elevator, matching them to all people who had been aboard the ship. It only took a few seconds to come up with a name. Frank Shepard, Tael Shepard’s father. A person that had to be escorted off the Normandy forcefully. She quickly scanned the ship for Mr. Krios’ location. 

Her holo image popped up in the Mess Hall. “Mr. Krios, Frank Shepard is on board and heading for Commander Shepard’s room,” she stated. 

Thane and Garrus’ heads whipped around when they heard EDI’ voice. Thane saw red when he heard her words. Without warning, he stormed toward the elevator. He didn’t ask anyone to follow him; he would be taking care of this on his own. He was shocked when Garrus, Mordin, and Jacob stepped into the elevator with him. “No one kills him but me,” Thane warned coldly with a pointed look to Garrus. 

“As long as I get my turn, I don’t care who kills him,” Garrus grinned, his mandibles flaring out wide; showing sharp teeth as he shucked off his gloves. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

The door to Tael’s room opened before them and Frank shoved the drell out of the way. He stalked towards his son with his knife flashing in his hand. Teal stared up in shock; too surprised to move as he watched his father rush toward him. 

Kolyat raced toward Shepard’s father, trying to stop him. Frank kicked him hard in the abdomen, knocking him back against the desk. Kolyat gasped for breath and has his lungs fought for air. He tried to force himself to his feet using the desk, but couldn’t. His couldn’t catch his breath and he had to stay on the floor as he watched what happened to Shepard.  

Tael raised his hand to ward off the blow, but it was already too late. He felt the knife bite deep into his flesh; felt his breath whistle out his throat in a sigh.  Self-preservation kicked in as Tael slowly crumpled to the floor; one hand across the gash, and the other around his father’s throat, trying to choke the life out of him. If he was going down, he was taking his father with him.  

He coughed and gagged, struggling for breath, but all he could take in was blood. Black spots danced in front of his eyes as his grip slipped from his laughing father. This feeling reminded him of when he was spaced almost a year ago. Months ago, before Thane came into his life, he would have welcomed this feeling with open arms; but now he fought to stay alive. 

Kolyat watched four people burst into the room - a turian, his father, a human and a salarian. He stayed on the floor coming out of his daze, finally able to breathe. He glanced at the commander to see him lying in a pool of blood with the one who stabbed him standing over him, laughing gleefully. Kolyat watched as three people rushed Shepard’s father. Kolyat was shocked when he heard a snarl come from his father. The turian was holding him back and it looked like he had to struggle to do that. The human had Shepard’s father by throat, but he was already out cold. He didn’t understand why his father was acting this way; he seemed more animal than drell. He reminded him of his uncle when a male was talking to his wife. Kolyat turned his attention to the salarian that was kneeling next to Shepard. He put something on the cut and checked his omnitool. 

Mordin moved quickly to Tael, applying pressure to the cut. He grimaced at the readings he received. Tael’s chances of survival were slim unless he got him to the lab or Med Bay immediately. Quickly he grabbed what medigel he had on him and put it onto the gash. It wouldn’t be enough, but it might help keep him alive until they got him to the Medbay. He turned his focus to Tael’s father. _The human will suffer for this,_ he thought with a smirk.   

Kolyat turned his attention to Shepard when he heard him speak. “Thane…” Kolyat heard the gurgle and worried. He wasn’t surprised that the commander was passing out. What did shock him was that his father reacted right away; his blood rage forgotten as he raced to the human’s side, kneeling in the pool of blood. Kolyat’s chest tightened as he watched his father’s reaction. He didn’t know what was going on when his father slowly collapsed to the floor, but it scared him. 

Thane’s heart stopped, and an anguished cry escaped him when he saw Tael stop breathing. The first time he saw Tael injured it had affected him, but that was nothing compared to how he felt in this moment. Thane felt like his whole world had been torn from him; like someone had just stabbed him in the heart. His breaths came out raggedly. He couldn’t get a deep enough breath, and his lungs were constricting painfully. He didn’t care if he died right now – not if Tael was dead. 

Mordin turned his attention to Thane and gasped. Thane was in another attack, but this one was worse than any that had come before. “EDI, have Chakwas meet me in Med Bay. Have two beds pushed together and we will need more hands with medical knowledge,” he ordered briskly.

Kolyat moved closer to the two people lying on the floor. “What’s wrong with my father?” he cried, kneeling down beside his father’s prone body. He could see him struggling to breathe, one set of eyelids closed. He moved closer, taking his father’s hand and stopped short. His eyes widened as he took in the scent covering Shepard. It was a bonding scent; he couldn’t believe it. His father was bonded with Shepard. Fear raced through Kolyat. He knew what was going to happen if the commander died. His own lungs tightened, almost constricting his air; but he was able to ignore it. 

Mordin looked at the young drell. “Can you carry the commander?” he asked sharply. Kolyat nodded, moving to the commander. He lifted him into his arms with a slight struggle. “Garrus, get Thane and take him down to Med Bay,” Mordin ordered the growling Turian. Garrus swung his gaze sharply from his prey to look at Mordin. His eyes widened as he saw Tael and Thane’s condition. Quickly forgetting his ire, he grabbed Thane; lifting him in his arms and moving toward the elevator with Thane’s son following right behind him. Mordin was the last to enter. Jacob stayed with Tael’s father, a malicious light in his eyes.

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Mordin hesitated when he walked into the medical bay. Chakwas was there, along with Samara, Kelly and Miranda. He wasn’t sure about having Miranda there, but she knew a lot about Shepard’s physiology. The young drell placed Shepard on one bed, while Garrus placed Thane next to him. Garrus wasn’t sure what the bed configuration was for, but he wasn’t going to question it. 

Mordin turned to the young Drell, “Kolyat, Thane’s son?” he questioned quickly. Kolyat nodded his head, not once taking his eyes off of his father as he choked and coughed. “Need you to relax your father quickly,” Mordin ordered. 

Kolyat moved to his father, placing his hand lightly on the very sensitive scales on the top of his father’s head. He didn’t feel comfortable doing this. This was something a lover or wife should be doing, not him. His father moved away from his hand with a gurgle. “This won’t work. You need someone that my father is intimate with to calm him quickly,” Kolyat told him. 

“Figured that, had to try though,” Mordin stated. “Go wait outside. Not enough room in here for you.” 

Kolyat scowled, but listened to the doctor, and Garrus followed close behind him. Garrus knew if anything happened to Kolyat while onboard this ship, it would hit Thane hard; and that would affect Shepard, as well. So right now his job was to make sure Kolyat stayed safe. 

Mordin placed Tael’s limp hand on top of Thane’s head. He hoped this would work. Chakwas quickly worked on the deep gash on Tael’s throat, relieved that Mordin had thought to use medigel. 

“Why did you put Shepard’s hand on Thane’s head?” Kelly asked. 

“Thane relaxes whenever Tael touches him. Hoping this works until we get Tael’s throat fixed,” Mordin told her as he placed an oxygen mask over Thane’s mouth. 

Kelly stared at him, startled. “Tael is different with Thane. Know your experience with Tael was harsh, never disrobed. With Thane it’s different,” Mordin told her with knowing eyes. He quickly pulled up a small video on his omnitool that showed what Tael was like when alone with Thane. She watched it, her eyes widening as the minutes passed. 

“Well, he’s going to have another scar to add to his list,” Chakwas muttered. “I’m mostly worried about the amount of blood he lost.” 

Thane vaguely heard people talking. His lungs were burning; a sharp, lancing pain cutting through his chest. He could feel the strain this was putting on his heart, and he didn’t care. He was ready to give in and let this be the last attack. He allowed his mind to wander, waiting for the inevitable. He was jarred back to attention when someone touched the top of his head. The scent was wrong, the touch was wrong. He knew it wasn’t Tael, but someone else that was vaguely familiar to him. He moved from the touch. There was only one person he wanted touching him there. 

His mind drifted for a few minutes more. He felt another touch, and this one he knew. This touch he reveled in. Tael’s hand was limp, but warm; there was still life in him. That alone gave Thane the urge to fight. He concentrated on his body, falling back on years of training to relax his body. It was so much easier with Tael’s help. He focused on his lover’s hand and fought to regain control of his breathing. 

Mordin moved toward Tael, placing a tube down his throat so he could breathe. He placed a heart monitor on his chest, now that the gaping wound on his throat was being taken care of. 

Awareness came to Tael when he felt smooth scales beneath his hand. He struggled to breathe so he could stay conscious. Thane’s touch was his lifeline at the moment. He struggled when he felt something snake down his throat, but stopped when sweet oxygen filled his lungs. He tried opening his eyes, but that wasn’t happening. It was too much of a strain. He felt Thane press closer to his hand; he wanted to move to reassure him, but couldn’t. It had been a long time since Tael had been this aware of his body and actually cared. 

 Thane opened his inner lids to see that he was in Chakwas’ office. His breath was wheezing in and out; he couldn’t take a full breath, or even a half one. He was getting just enough air to stay alive, even with the mask. He felt Tael’s hand twitch and knew he was going to live. He tilted his head so he was closer to that hand. “Mordin, Thane is trying to move closer to Tael,” Kelly commented. 

“Have to wait until Tael’s stats level out,” Mordin stated. He wanted to have Tael breathing for a few moments more before he moved Thane closer to him. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Garrus watched Thane’s son, wondering what his role had been in the recent nightmare. He hoped that this kid wasn’t actually in on the plan to kill Shepard, or there would be hell to pay. “How did Frank get onboard the ship?” Garrus asked coolly. 

“He came to me a month ago when he heard me and my friends talking about Commander Shepard,” Kolyat began sadly. “I was bragging that I met him and he came over and started asking questions. I didn’t reply until he said he was Shepard’s father. Then I took my memory of what Shepard looked like and saw the resemblance. He contacted me a few times, wondering when I would be seeing the commander next. The last time I talk to him, I told him that I would be coming onto the Normandy in a few weeks. He asked if he could come. I knew something was off, but I thought Shepard would have been able to handle the man without a problem. If I would have known…” Kolyat trailed off. He took a deep breath and flinched.  

“We boarded and went up to Shepard’s room. He shoved me out of the way. I saw the flash of a knife and went to disarm him, but he kicked me and I hit my head against the desk,” Kolyat said softly, not meeting the turian’s eyes. 

After several minutes, he met Garrus’ gaze. “If Shepard dies, so will my father. If that happens, I want Frank to pay for what he did,” he growled menacingly. 

“He’s going to pay whether they die or live,” Garrus hissed. “Why do you think your father is going to die?” Garrus asked, confused. 

“He’s bonded to Shepard. He’ll give up living,” Kolyat replied as tears burned his eyes. 

They both glanced up when Mordin walked into the Mess Hall. “How’s Tael?” Garrus asked. 

“Stable, lost lots of blood. Once blood is replenished, will be fine, but will have nasty scar. Thane is starting to relax now. Can go visit in a bit,” Mordin said tiredly. 

“How did you get my father to relax if Shepard is still unconscious?” Kolyat asked in shock. 

“He’s lying on Tael. Best thing for him, works the fastest,” Mordin shrugged. Kolyat leaned back in his chair, relief rushing through him. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He didn’t want to leave until he knew for sure that his father was safe and he still needed to talk to Shepard.

They glanced up once more as Chakwas, Kelly, and Samara entered the Mess Hall. Chakwas moved over to Mordin. “We had to move Thane some; his weight put too much pressure on Tael,” she said and turned her attention to the young drell. “Your father will be fine. He opened his eyes for a few minutes before falling asleep,” Chakwas told him. 

“I think we should move them to their room,” Garrus commented. He knew there would be serious repercussions if Tael awoke in the Med Bay. 

“No, Tael still needs the tube in throat. Once he’s healed more, we can move them,” Mordin stated firmly. He glanced at the drell sitting beside him. He noticed blood still weeping out of the back of his head. “You were injured, follow me. I’ll patch it up and you can visit your father,” Mordin stated, motioning for Kolyat to follow.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane fought off the exhaustion that was pulling him under from his attack. His head was resting on Tael’s shoulder, but at the moment his thoughts were on his son. He worried for his son. If the crew found out that Tael was harmed and his son was involved somehow, there would be blood.

Thane’s eyes flickered open when the doors to the Med Bay slid apart. His eyes widened when he saw Mordin lead his son to one of the other beds. That was when Thane noticed blood on the back of his head. He struggled to sit up, but his body was worn out. Sitting up at the moment would be a challenge. 

Kolyat saw his father’s eyes open and went over to him, ignoring the doctor’s protest. He looked down at his father worriedly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Kolyat whispered. 

Thane nodded his head, giving his son a small reassuring smile. “What happened?” he asked hoarsely. 

“Once we entered the commander’s room, he shoved me out of the way and went after him,” Kolyat stated, trying to keep his voice from quivering. He felt like a child once again, even though he was twenty years old. Facing his father after finding out that he was bonded with the commander made him feel like a child. He had made a stupid mistake and now others were paying for it. 

“Where is he now?” Thane asked, his eyes hardening. 

“I don’t know. Another guy with dark skin was watching him. I had to carry him down here,” he answered, nodding toward Tael. 

“Let Mordin look at your wound. We’ll talk more later,” Thane told him. He watched his son walk away as he planned his next action once he recuperated from this attack.

                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Kolyat sat on one of the beds in the Med Bay, his gaze never leaving his father. He was shocked that he wasn’t more resentful of knowing that Shepard and his father were together. That it was a same-sex relationship didn’t bother him in the least. A part of him felt like he was betraying his mother, but he knew that his father wasn’t. He was living - something he should be doing. 

But now there was one more worry and he wondered how his father would react. He admitted that he was scared, terrified even. He glanced at the doctor when he stopped his scan and waited for the inevitable. This was one of the reasons he came here. 

He turned his focus to the salarian. “They don’t know,” he stated firmly. He watched as the doctor nodded his head and stepped back.  

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Jacob slung Frank’s limp body over his shoulder and headed to Chakwas’ office. He smirked as he heard the man gurgle on his own blood. He hoped Mordin would give the order to shoot him out of the airlock but he didn’t think that would happen; not with Shepard as commander of this ship. 

Mordin glanced up sharply as Jacob hefted on body onto one of the beds. The salarian smirked as he saw the damage the human had inflicted. There was no way Mordin was going to let this human die. He didn’t condone torture, but this was the second time he had tried to kill Shepard. 

He glanced at Thane, and watched as the drell tried to struggle to a sitting position. “Wait until tomorrow,” Mordin said pointedly as he began healing the major wounds and leaving the minor ones alone. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

The next day found Kolyat with Garrus. He had tried sleeping in his father’s old room. Garrus told him that his father was now living in the commander’s room; and he wasn’t shocked by that, not now. He had taken time to meditate on the situation, and knew that his father had found true happiness. 

Thane had visited with him the previous evening, and it had been enlightening for the young drell. They had talked late into the night and Thane told him things that he never knew about; things that had to do with his dad and mom. After that talk he understood that Tael was good for his dad. He was happy that his father finally stopped hiding from him and was now treating him like an equal.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~ 

Mordin checked Tael’s slash and found it was healing nicely. He met the commander’s eyes, seeing a cold look in them as he stared at the bed where his father lay. “Need to see if you can talk,” Mordin told him for the second time. 

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Tael stated hoarsely. 

“Voice will come back in a few days. Implants that Cerberus used on you have benefits for healing. Should be dead, or still close to dead,” Mordin told him. 

“I don’t give a fuck, you still haven’t answered me,” Tael snapped coldly, scowling as his voice croaked.  He kept his gaze on his father, not wanting that man out of his sight. 

“Healing him, for Thane,” Mordin answered. Tael’s eyes widened at what he heard. 

“Where are my clothes?” Tael asked. He hated that his voice sounded so raw.  

“Getting cleaned,” Mordin shrugged as he walked away from Tael, looking over the latest test results. His eyes widened as he heard the rustling of blankets. He watched as Tael stumbled out of bed and headed toward the door. Mordin moved quickly toward him, handing him another gown so he wasn’t flashing the crew. 

Mordin shook his head. Shepard shouldn’t even be on his feet, but he wasn’t about to stop him. Especially not with the cold, deadly look in the commander’s eyes. 

**TBC**


	21. Chapter 21

Thane’s head snapped up when he heard the doors to Chakwas’ office open. He watched as Shepard walked out, his eyes scanning the Mess Hall until they rested on him. Thane rose to his feet, his focus never leaving Tael. He didn’t bother hiding the relief he felt at seeing Tael moving on his own. 

He stopped a few feet away from Tael, uncertainty flooding him. He didn’t want to place Tael in an awkward position by showing emotion in front of the crew. He was an alien and Shepard was human; and this was a Cerberus ship. Any personal interaction could make the situation harder for Tael. It wasn’t a secret that they were together, but knowing the information and seeing it were two different things. There was also the fact that Tael rarely showed affection in public.

Thane tried to keep his stoic expression in place as he noticed the grinning faces around the Mess Hall. His pulse raced as Tael closed the space between them. He didn’t want to show too much emotion, not in front of the humans. Thane’s breath hitched as he saw the feelings shining in Tael’s eyes. He was shocked that Tael wasn’t hiding this from him. He knew what he wanted to do, but he was afraid it wasn’t possible. His gaze turned to his son and he wasn’t sure what Kolyat would think about his relationship with the commander. 

He wasn’t given time to contemplate it any further as Tael stole his breath, kissing him fiercely; his slick tongue demanding entrance into his mouth. Tael was staking his claim, and Thane felt his desire roar to life. He loved the feeling of Tael’s living body pressed up against him, his mouth demanding; showing him that he was very much alive and wanting him. Tael was making it known that Thane was his, and he wasn’t hiding their relationship. 

Thane relaxed into the kiss, his mouth just as demanding. His hands gripped onto Tael tightly, not wanting to leave. All the worry, fear and anxiety that Thane felt disappeared as want, lust and love took its place. Thane broke from the kiss when he finally needed air. Amusement filled him as he saw the grins on most of the teams’ faces. The other crew members weren’t even paying attention anymore. Kolyat sat there with a slight smile curving his lips; no anger or disgust evident on his face.     

Tael dropped his hand with a final caress and turned toward the elevator. “Tael, wait until they are finished cleaning up,” Thane said, and he could see the torment in his lover’s eyes. Thane hoped he listened. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of what happened upstairs. It brought back too many memories of someone else’s blood on the floor. He thought for certain that he had lost Tael; just as he had once lost Irikah.

Tael caught the haunted look in Thane’s eyes and understood. Thane had his own demons, and right now one of the reminders was up in their room. “Fine, but I need a change of clothes. I am not running around this ship in a medical gown,” Tael muttered with a scowl as he felt a breeze on his rear. 

“I’ll have Kelly fetch you some clothes and you can change in Life Support,” Thane suggested, his voice holding the relief that was mimicked in his eyes.  Tael’s eyes lightened up at the prospect as he moved to one of the nearby empty tables.  He glanced at Kolyat and Garrus. The kid seemed to be doing fine and he knew Garrus wouldn’t allow anything to happen to him. So at the moment he had nothing to worry about. 

Thane gave EDI the message for Kelly to get Tael some clothes. He knew he should go up there and do it, but he couldn’t. He grabbed some food that Tael enjoyed eating and moved to the table, placing it in front of him. He wanted to make sure that he regained the blood he lost, and that meant that the commander had to eat foods high in iron. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Kelly closed her eyes when she saw all the blood on the floor. She didn’t know how Tael survived the attack, but he had. She was impressed, to say the least. She thought of Tael’s father, who was now in Medbay. He deserved whatever punishment he received for his actions. She was surprised that Thane hadn’t killed him yet. 

It had taken her months to figure out Thane and Tael’s relationship. For a while she thought Tael was just toying with Thane; but after seeing them in Chakwas’ office, she knew they were meant for each other. She had walked in on them the previous day. Tael was lying down on the bed, the breathing tube gone from his mouth. Thane sat there, holding his hand. It was obvious that they only had eyes for each other. It was so sweet to see.  

Her focus shifted to the three crew members that were working on the blood stained walls and floor. She was up here to make sure nothing went missing. All she needed was for Tael to go on a rampage through the Normandy. If Thane had something missing, he would search the ship, find it, and kill whoever took it. Nice, neat and quiet. Tael, on the other hand, would interrogate everyone and tear the ship apart until the missing items were found. And the culprit… well, she didn’t have that vivid of an imagination; nor did she want one. 

She was torn from her thoughts by EDI. “Thane is requesting clothes for the commander,” EDI told her. 

She went to the drawers and closet, not sure what to pick out. She wasn’t even sure what was Tael’s and what was Thane’s. There were clothes that she never seen Shepard wear, but had never seen Thane wear, either. Then there were clothes that they had both worn. So she picked out light cotton black pants and a muscle shirt. She just hoped they were Shepard’s clothes and not Thane’s. She wasn’t sure how the drell would take Tael wearing his clothes. 

Thane paced in front of the elevator as Tael ate. “Thane, will you sit? She’ll be here when she is here,” Tael muttered irritably when he spotted the drell once more. 

Thane tried rolling his eyes, but drell eyes weren’t made for that. So he took a seat across from Tael and watched him flinch each time he swallowed. “How’s your neck?” Thane asked, feeling regret that the food he got for Tael was hurting him.  

“Fine,” Tael bit out, scowling at him. Thane hid the pain he felt when he heard the hoarseness in Tael’s voice. He hoped Tael got his normal voice back. This one didn’t suit him.  

“Why don’t I believe that?” Thane asked mockingly. “Eating this food is only going to make it worse,” he commented when Tael ignored him. He knew it was his fault that Tael was eating the food, but he thought the human would have the sense not to eat it if it hurt. Thane then realized what he just thought and shook his head - pain wouldn’t stop Tael from doing anything. 

“Don’t care. Want real food, not that fucking soft stuff they want me to eat,” Tael grumbled, almost sounding petulant. 

“So you’re going to push yourself and Mordin will have to look at you again, this time keeping you in Medbay longer,” Thane murmured with a raised brow ridge. “What you’re doing makes perfect sense.” He shrugged, a mocking smirk on his face.

“You can wipe that smug look off your face. I am not eating jello and pudding until my throat is healed,” Tael muttered, scowling at Thane. He hated to admit it, but his throat was screaming at him. He had to fight to keep his voice clear and not sound hoarse, though he didn’t think he was doing a good job of it.  

Thane watched him with amused annoyance. He left the table, grabbing himself a mug of tea and Tael a mug of coffee. A thought came to him as he was making the coffee. Quickly he looked in the cupboard and found what he was looking for. It was one of his favorite dishes on the ship. It was drell food, fruits mixed together into something similar to a human stew. There were some vegetables in it, as well, and humans could eat it. Thane made up a dish quickly, looking for the package he had seen a few days ago. It was meat that had been softened for stews and soups. He found it way in the back of the cabinet. 

Thane smiled proudly as he brought the dish over to Tael. “Try this. You might like it better and it will be easier on your throat,” Thane told him, trying to keep his face neutral. 

Tael looked at the dish. He wasn’t sure what it was; but when he saw the proud look in Thane’s eyes, he couldn’t reject it. Hesitantly he took a bite, surprised by the taste. It was sweet, yet there was mild flavor to it. Tael ate it slowly, allowing it to sooth his raw throat. 

Thane watched him eat with an amused smile. Tael didn’t need to say that he enjoyed the food. It was clear in the look on his face.  

“What is this?” Tael asked and would have purred if his voice wasn’t so broken. 

“A drell dish with some human components added in. I know you won’t eat food unless there is meat in it,” Thane explained. For a short while that had bothered him. He thought for sure that Tael would try and change his meals so they were more like his. He had asked once and Thane had declined. Tael had shrugged. “More for me then,” he said and Thane remembered him grinning as he spoke. 

“Did you want some?” Tael asked, nodding toward the bowl. He knew Thane wasn’t fond of meat, but he also knew this was one of this favorite dishes. Thane looked at him uncertainly. 

“You know I don’t eat meat,” he said quietly. 

“You don’t have to eat the meat. There are veggies and fruits in here. It was one of your favorite dishes before you added the other stuff in,” Tael told him with a shrug.

Thane smirked, taking the fork out of Tael’s hand and jabbing into the first thing that floated to the top of the broth. His mouth turned in disgust. “You were supposed to leave the meat alone,” Tael chuckled, passing him a napkin. 

Thane couldn’t believe he just put a piece of meat into his mouth. Drell’s teeth weren’t meant to chew on meat. They could bite through things, but not grind meat. At first the taste was bitter and strong, but it was actually good and easy to eat this softer meat. He swallowed and jabbed another piece from Tael’s bowl. He was pleased when Tael’s eyes brightened and he laughed good naturally while in public. For that he would eat the whole bowl, even if he hated it.  

“Are we still at the Citadel?” Tael asked. Thane nodded, and he knew what was coming next. “Good. I’ll make a requisition for more of this and Gardener can run out and pick up more of your soups,” Shepard said and grinned.

“And the meat,” Thane added with a grin. Tael chuckled, nodding his head in agreement. Later when he had access to his room, he would make up the list. 

They both turned their attention toward Kelly when she cleared her throat. Shepard waited for her to speak. “I’m not sure if these are your clothes or his, but this is what I brought,” she murmured, looking agitated. 

Thane looked at the pants and smirked. They were his, but it wouldn’t be the first time Tael used his clothes or he used Teals clothes. Tael watched Kelly and felt guilty for how nervous she was in his presence. It was yet another thing he could chalk up to being with Thane. He sighed, rising to his feet. He knew he was going to regret what he was about to do, but it had to be done. He passed the clothes to Thane and motioned for Kelly to follow him. 

Kelly followed him. She was nervous. Even though he treated her like shit all those months ago, he still affected her; along with every other female on the ship. She let him walk into Life Support first and followed hesitantly. She didn’t know what he wanted, but she hoped it wasn’t a reprimand. 

He walked over to the windows and she watched him carefully. “You’ve known me for months, so consider yourself privileged by what I am about to say,” he muttered and then turned to her with a smirk. She couldn’t help her reaction as her breath caught in her throat. The smirk did wonders for his looks, and she couldn’t get over it. “It’s about what happened when I first boarded the ship. I apologize for how I treated you. You didn’t deserve to be shoved out the door like that. As for taking off my shirt, I don’t do that for anyone, except Thane,” Shepard sighed, shifting uncomfortably. 

“Why is that?” she asked hesitantly. 

Tael was trying to think of an answer, but he was snapped out of his thoughts when Thane walked in. “I thought you might need help to remain calm,” he answered the unspoken question with a smirk. But Tael saw the real reason in his eyes. He was alone in a room with a single female that he had sex with before. Thane’s instincts were kicking in. 

“She wants to know why I didn’t take off my shirt when I was with her,” Tael told him. 

“To cover his scars. He was also more of an ass than he is now,” Thane answered with a grin. 

Kelly gave a relieved smile as she quickly exited the room. She had noticed the heated look in Thane’s eye and knew they needed privacy.

Thane moved over to Tael, yanking on the tie of the medical gown teasingly. “If you keep that up, we won’t be leaving this room and your son may walk in on more than he bargained for,” Tael said and gasped as Thane’s hand ran down his chest. The gown fell open, and his hand slowly roamed lower. Thane grasped Tael’s straining length in a firm grasp while pinning Tael up against the wall. The thought of losing Tael was more than Thane could bear. This wasn’t a time for soft, murmured words and soft touches. This was a reaffirmation of Tael’s life. This was lust, desire and pent up emotions spilling forth from them both. 

Thane gripped Tael’s hips firmly and prepared to enter him, but Tael quickly switched their positions. He moved Thane back against the metal table, lifting him onto it without breaking their desperate kisses. Thane groaned loudly when Tael roughly entered him. He set a bruising pace, using all his strength with each thrust. 

They found their release together. Thane sagged against Tael, holding him closely; listening to the soothing sound of Tael’s heartbeat. He purred his contentment, feeling Tael’s living body against his. Tael ran his hand soothingly down Thane’s back, trying to erase the rest of Thane’s agitation. He knew Thane needed this as much as he did. His attack had brought death too close to their thoughts. They needed to prove that they were both alive.  

Thane leaned back from Tael, looking up at him tenderly; not hiding the feelings that showed in his eyes. Tael leaned down, claiming Thane’s mouth in a slow languid kiss when he saw the emotions that Thane was showing him. He rested his head on top of Thane’s for a moment before letting him go; softly caressing him. 

Thane watched as Tael backed up, grabbing the clothes that Kelly had brought for him. Anticipation and sadness welled up inside of him at the thought of what he had to do next. Sadness because it would affect Tael and anticipation because it would bring him great pleasure to see Tael’s father killed by his hand. 

“What is it?” Tael asked, running a finger lightly down Thane’s cheek. 

“Garrus and I have some business to take care of,” Thane told him, ignoring the contentment that entered his body from Tael’s touch.   

“I want to be there when you go and ‘talk’ to my father,” Tael told him in a firm voice. Thane gave him a searching look before slowly nodding. They met Garrus in the Mess Hall, motioning for him to follow them. The trio headed toward the cargo hold, where Frank Shepard was currently being held. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Jack paced her area restlessly. She thought about going to the practice area to vent some frustration. Unfortunately, Tael’s father was there, and she knew she would kill the guy slowly if she saw him. Shepard might be a big asshole, but he looked out for his own. He had her back constantly; along with everyone else on their team. He didn’t look down on her for anything; even when she came up with some gruesome ideas. Instead he listened and sometimes followed her plans. 

When it came time to do her mission, she thought that she would have to hide the emotions that were spilling forth, but she was wrong. Tael told her that they all had demons, and then he showed her the scars on his chest. She had been shocked by the sheer amount of them. Most of them looked like claws had ripped through him.

Her head snapped toward the cargo bay when she heard a blood curdling scream. Quickly she made her way there. That was where Shepard’s father was, and she wanted to see what was happening to him. She thought about trying to talk Grunt into having fun with him, but that didn’t go over well. The krogan said he wouldn’t take that pleasure from Shepard or his mate. That was the end of that argument.  

Zaeed was more than willing to help. She just needed to let him know when and he would be there. Tali was also pissed when she heard what Tael’s father did. She didn’t want to be involved in killing him, but she would help to cover it up. Tali thought it best to leave it in Thane’s hands, but Jack didn’t think the assassin would allow Shepard’s father to suffer enough. He preferred clean kills and didn’t believe in torture. Tael was still healing, so Jack didn’t expect him to do anything at the present time. Though when he was healed and his father wasn’t already dead, she wanted to be there for the reunion. She knew Shepard would come up with some interesting ideas – most of which would probably turn her stomach. 

The doors opened before her. Garrus was holding Shepard’s father arms while Thane was doing something with a knife. She wasn’t sure what it was, but the wet, meaty sounds got her imagination working. She noticed Shepard not far away, a haunted expression on his face. She didn’t think it had anything to do with what Thane was doing. It wasn’t that type of look. He was lost in memories; and from what she could see, it was something horrifying. If it was terrifying for him, it would be a living nightmare for her. That was the only thing that stopped her from following through on her plan to kill Shepard’s father.  

She watched as Thane grabbed something bloody and dropped it to the floor. Her stomach turned when she realized what was going on. Thane, the monk assassin, was slowly torturing someone. That was so unlike him. He was a clean killer, and he didn’t torture his victims. She was more shocked to find Garrus helping the drell. He could be extreme, but he didn’t do torture. 

She retreated quickly as she watched something meaty hit the ground; a soul searing scream accompanying the sight. She was stunned and disgusted, but she understood why they did it. She went to stay with Tali. She couldn’t sit through these screams alone. 

Tali looked frazzled and Jack couldn’t blame her. The screams were becoming worse and she didn’t want to think of what it meant. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooooo~

Tael took the knife from Thane with cold, dead eyes. He walked over to his father, drawing the blade down his arm in a nice neat line. He watched the blood well up; and without thought or emotion, he started skinning his father’s arm. That was the first of many body parts that got skinned before he died. Medigel helped to keep him alive so he didn’t bleed out too soon. A pill Mordin gave him kept him from going into shock too early.  

Thane cut off his fingers and a few other places, but stopped there. Tael wanted him dead; he wanted him to suffer for the years of torture he had been forced to endure.

Tael watched Garrus as he dropped the body. Neither man said a word to Tael. The distant look in his eyes told them that he was no longer with them. Tael turned from them and walked out of the room without a backward glance. 

They followed him until they saw him step onto the elevator. They had to wait for the elevator in silence. Neither of them knew what to say. It would be something they would keep to themselves until they died. People didn’t need to know that Tael skinned his father alive. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Thane walked into their quarters to find Tael standing there, staring at nothing. He was still covered in his father’s blood. Thane was pretty sure that Tael had just done something that was past his limits. He moved toward Tael, leading him into the bathroom and turning on the water. Thane turned it up to the temperature that Tael liked. He knew it wasn’t that dangerous for him anymore, not with the pills he was taking. Mordin told him he could be in very humid places for a while without any negative side effects. 

Tael automatically walked under the spray with Thane guiding him. Thane soaped his body as Tael stood there in silence. “You’re not disgusted?” Tael whispered. 

“No. I knew something of that nature would come between the two of you,” Thane told him softly as he lathered his back. 

“How can you not be disgusted? I just skinned a man and made him suffer. You were going to end his life to stop his suffering. How is it that you’re not disgusted?” Tael asked, nearly yelling as he sank down in the shower. Thane watched him for a moment, realizing that Tael was disgusted with himself. 

Thane crouched down in front of Tael so that they were eye to eye. “After Irikah died, I went hunting for those that had killed her. I found them, one by one. I took them out slowly, reveling in their screams of fear and pain. The last man was the one who landed the killing blow, I think. I did the same as you. How can I be disgusted when I’ve done the same? I made those men suffer, and have the scars to remind me of that,” Thane told him firmly as he ran his finger over the scars that remained on his body from that time. Tael met his eyes. They were still haunted, but in them he saw understanding and acceptance. 

Thane decided to finish his story. It was time Tael heard it. “I wasn’t neat or clean in my kills,” he began. “I taunted them, and made sure they knew their deaths were coming. I watched the light leave their eyes. Do I regret doing that? At the time, yes. There are times that I did, but there are times that I didn’t. Do I think less of myself for losing control like that? Yes. I know Irikah wouldn’t have wanted that. Looking back now, do I regret what I did? No, I don’t. You accepted me for all my follies, even the ones you knew nothing about. How can I be disgusted with myself when I know you will accept me?”

He closed his eyes for a moment as he enjoyed the feeling of the water falling over him. Tael was watching him with understanding. “You may regret what you did, but there is nothing you can do about it now. Later, you may not. That is for you to figure out,” Thane told him quietly. 

Tael leaned forward and kissed him lightly. “Thanks for telling me,” Tael whispered before backing away.  

“Tael, no matter what you do, I’ll be here for you,” Thane vowed as he closed the distance between them and kissed him with all the feelings he had. Tael broke the kiss and stared at Thane in shock. Thane had never said ‘the words’ again since the first time; and to Tael’s shock, he wanted to hear them again. Why, he didn’t know. He thought he might know, but he was still too confused when it came to his feelings for Thane. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Tael murmured, rising to his feet. He didn’t feel as disgusted now, but he still couldn’t believe he had done that to a person. He had done some awful things in his time, but nothing nearly as bad as what he put his father through. 

Tael took Thane’s hand, leading him over to bed. There was no sex; instead they curled up next to each other. Thane rested his head on Tael’s shoulder, allowing his heartbeat to ease him into sleep. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Kolyat paced Life Support. Shepard had just notified him that he was going to come down and talked to him. Kolyat was nervous, to say the least. He was afraid that Shepard would think that he arranged for his father to attack him. 

He nearly jumped out of his scales when the door behind him opened. The room seemed so much smaller with Shepard there, even though Kolyat was taller than the human. Shepard had a presence about him that made him seem huge. Kolyat fought not to squirm under the commander’s gaze. 

“So you wanted to see me? What did you want?” Shepard asked. Garrus had already informed Tael that his father had used Kolyat for his own gain, so he didn’t have to worry about killing the boy. 

“I…I wanted information,” Kolyat answered after clearing his throat. 

“Information on what?” Tael asked, rolling his eyes. The next time this kid asked for a meeting, they were having it in public. Maybe then the kid would relax. 

“I want to know the chances of my father returning to me after you’re done your mission,” Kolyat stated, finally meeting Shepard’s gaze without flinching.

“Returning to _you_ , slim to none,” Shepard said and grinned as the kid looked at him in shock. He waited for the despair to enter his eyes, and it didn’t take long. “Returning from the mission? I would say we have about a 70% chance, maybe more,” Tael said, chuckling as Kolyat’s eyes narrowed. 

“That was cruel,” Kolyat spat, annoyed that he was the butt of the commander’s joke. 

“Is that all you came here for?” Shepard asked, enjoying the kid’s spunk. 

“No, I want you to find a cure for Kepral’s Syndrome,” Kolyat shot back, his anger rising. 

“You mean your father didn’t tell you?” Tael said and looked at him, confused. 

“He told me there is a cure, but I don’t believe it. My father never wanted a cure. He was happy to die, so I thought he lied,” Kolyat sneered coldly. 

“You’re father wasn’t lying. There is a cure. Your father is on it right now,” Shepard told him harshly. He watched Kolyat closely as his scales paled and his breathing became erratic. Kolyat took a seat on one of the chairs; one hand was on his chest as he slowly caught his breath. Shepard’s eyes narrowed as he watched him. Without a word, Tael marched over to the boy; lifting him out of the chair with ease. He placed his ear to the kid’s lungs and confirmed his suspicions. 

“You didn’t tell your father!” Shepard snarled, shoving him away. “You’ve got fucking Kepral’s Syndrome and you didn’t tell your father! You bastard! When was he supposed to find out? When it was so bad that you could function anymore or when the attacks were so bad that you weren’t sure if you were going to live through the next one?” Shepard snarled harshly. 

Kolyat flinched, backing away from the human. His questions hit him hard. Since he found out that he had the disease, he had been afraid that he wasn’t going to wake up. He was terrified of it. His lungs started feeling heavy again; his breathing as labored as if he ran twenty miles. He could feel the fluid when he breathed deeply. 

He jumped when he felt the hand on the top of his head. The motion was soothing, even though it was a very personal spot on a drell to touch. Slowly Kolyat relaxed and before he even realized what he was doing, his head was bent; resting on Shepard’s shoulder. He was purring softly as his breaths evened out, and the tightness disappeared. Kolyat didn’t want to move. He just found someone who stopped the attacks - someone who understood. He didn’t care that what the commander had just done was very personal and very intimate. He wasn’t thinking of it like that. He was thinking that he was finally safe; that he wasn’t going to die because of this human. 

Tael kept the motions slow, making sure he missed the more sensitive spots. He knew that the kid was terrified; he could smell it on him. He smirked when he heard Kolyat start purring, but he didn’t stop his motions. Something told him that the kid really needed this. Also, if this helped Kolyat, then it would help Thane in the long run. 

“Come with me so we can start you on your cure,” Shepard murmured, leading Kolyat out of the room with one hand on his shoulder. Tael glared at everyone he passed, challenging them to say a word about the affection that he was showing Thane’s son. 

Mordin’s head snapped up when Shepard entered, his eyes widening when he saw that Shepard was giving Thane’s son support. Mordin wasn’t sure what to make of it. “Mordin, Kolyat needs the cure,” Shepard told him. 

Mordin was shocked. He thought he would have to be the one to break this news to Shepard and it wasn’t something he was looking forward to. He glanced at Thane’s son and ran the scanners over him once more to get a thorough set of readings. Mordin was glad to see that his disease was only in the beginning stages. He knew the kid would be fine with Shepard looking after him. Though the commander would never admit to it, he would help Thane’s son out. 

Mordin went to his table and retrieved the pills for Kolyat. He also grabbed the new set of pills for Thane. Now that his lung capacity for deep tissue was over forty percent, he could take these pills. “Thane is to take one pill every day for the next week, and then is to come if for a scan. Kolyat is to take two of these every day, one in morning, and one at night. Be back here in three days’ time for scan,” Mordin ordered.

Shepard took the pills and noticed that Mordin had written their names on them. That relieved him. The last thing he needed was for them to confuse their medications.      

Shepard left the room, not waiting for Kolyat; and he was surprised at how fast the kid could move. When the doors to the elevator were closing, Kolyat stopped them. “I think I should be the one to tell my father,” Kolyat told him firmly.

“Don’t bother asking me to leave. The answer will be no,” Shepard told him coldly. 

“I wouldn’t bother. If I have another attack, I want you there,” Kolyat told him with an impudent grin. 

“You are definitely your father’s son. The both of you will be getting on my nerves,” Shepard groused with a smirk. 

“Considering you and my father are bonded, I don’t think he can get on your nerves,” Kolyat said as they walked into Shepard’s quarters. Thane was sitting on the couch in only a pair of pants. Kolyat was so shocked seeing his father able to relax so easily. His memories of his father didn’t show him relaxed; at least not like this. 

“Believe me, Kolyat, I can still get on his nerves,” Thane chuckled as he watched them enter the room. Tael went to the couch and sprawled out, using Thane’s leg as a pillow. Kolyat went over to the chair and took a seat. 

“You know, your son takes after you a lot. He’s a pain in the ass, too,” Shepard smirked. 

Thane chuckled, “Is that all? You think everyone is a pain in the ass.”

“No, it seems drells have that one down to a tee. They are better at it than humans,” Tael said and grinned impishly up at Thane. He hoped to get Thane into a very light mood before he broke the news to him. 

“I’m not going to argue with you, even though I know you’re wrong,” Thane smirked. 

Kolyat watched the two of them and he had to fight back tears. This wasn’t the father he remembered. This was the father he always wished for. This was a carefree person; someone that didn’t hide. The father he remembered was stoic, silent and so distant. He may have played with Kolyat once in a while, but only part of him had been there. He may have held Kolyat when he mourned for his mother, but it had been cold and distant. 

Tael watched Thane carefully. “So, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?” he asked with a raised brow. He was glad he didn’t feel Thane tense beneath him. He was still relaxed.

“Bad news,” Thane answered, bracing himself for the worst. He’d gotten used to receiving bad news and he automatically expected it. 

“Well other than your son being an ass, it seems he takes after you in one more way,” Shepard started off slowly, watching Thane’s every reaction. “He has Kepral’s Syndrome,” Shepard told him quietly. “As for the good news, I took him to Mordin and he has the pills. Mordin said he should be cured within a week.”  

Thane stopped, his joking manner vanishing. His son had Kepral’s Syndrome and he had been alone through it. That horrified Thane, and he didn’t know what to say. 

“So your son will probably be cured before you. Either you or I can help him through his attacks,” Tael told him when he felt Thane tensing beneath his head. 

Thane blinked slowly, trying to process the news. “I can’t help him through his attacks. That would be like….” Thane trailed off, not able to say the word. 

“I thought that might be the case, so it looks like I’ll be helping him through his attacks,” Tael said and mockingly scowled at Thane. Relief swept through him as he felt Thane relax beneath him; a hesitant smile appearing on his face.  

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Kolyat asked with amusement. 

Teal turned his head towards him. “No,” Tael grinned. Much to his surprise, Kolyat realized that he liked the commander. 

“Fine, but how will you know if I have an attack?” Kolyat asked. 

“I’ll notify the commander,” EDI said as she popped up near the door. “I have the readings from your last attack and I know what to look for. Your attacks are not as severe as your father’s,” EDI told him before vanishing. 

“So she’s always watching. I wonder how many videos Joker has of us,” Tael cursed, scowling fiercely. 

“None, Commander. I enjoy having my circuitry where it is. No one can video in this room unless you are in danger. No information said in this room ever leaves this room. All surveillance items have been firewalled. Even Operative Lawson does not have access,” EDI told him. 

Shepard grinned. Those words were music to his ears, “Good job, EDI. I’m impressed.”

“There is one recording we have of this room. If you wish to view it, I sent it to your person terminal, It’s what Mr. Taylor did to Frank Shepard. Good night, Commander.” 

“Good night, EDI,” he murmured absently as he relaxed. “The rest of the news is that Mordin has changed your meds once again. You have to go see him in one week. Your son sees him in three days. His case is very minor as the disease is in its first stage,” Tael told him. 

Thane looked down at Tael. He didn’t know what he would do without him. Thane wasn’t sure how he would have handled it if he found out that his son had Kepral’s Syndrome without Tael being there. He was shocked that Tael had stepped in and made sure that Kolyat got the treatment he needed.  Tael relaxed, closing his eyes as the room went very quiet; even with Kolyat and Thane in it. He cracked open his eyes to see both drells meditating. Shepard rolled his eyes. He knew he couldn’t move yet, not until Thane was finished; and that could take hours. 

_These two were definitely related,_ Shepard thought with a smirk. He also wondered how in the world he had ended up being the one to watch out for Kolyat. He wasn’t father material. He didn’t know anything about kids. Even though Kolyat was an adult, he was still young enough that he needed a father figure. 

Kolyat tried to place himself into a deep meditative state, but couldn’t. There was too much on his mind. He wondered what was going to happen to him now. How would they continue treating him since they had to leave for their suicide mission? 

He felt movement and opened his eyes. Tael was standing in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest. His father was so deep into his meditation that he hadn’t noticed Shepard move. 

“What?” Kolyat asked nervously. 

“I’m wondering what to do with you,” Tael answered slowly as an idea formed in his mind. “I want you to go back to your apartment, grab your stuff and move it into Life Support. Until you are cured, you’re staying onboard,” Tael stated. He raised a brow when Kolyat didn’t move right away. “Are you waiting for a written invitation?” Tael mocked. 

“Sure, that would be nice,” Kolyat replied before rising from his seat. He wasn’t afraid of the commander anymore. In fact, he was actually beginning to look up to him. The human seemed so sure of himself. He knew that no matter what happened, he would pull everyone through. 

“Go get your stuff and be thankful that I didn’t engrave that invitation onto your scales,” Tael threatened halfheartedly. 

Kolyat gave him a challenging look before grinning. “You’re good for my dad,” he murmured as he walked out the door. Tael stared at him, stunned. 

“It looks like my son likes you,” Thane murmured, wrapping his arm around Tael’s waist. 

“Did you hear the whole conversation?” Tael asked as he looked over his shoulder at Thane. 

“I did. Thank you for allowing him to stay onboard until he is healed,” Thane whispered into his ear before nipping it. Tael moaned low in his throat as a shiver of pleasure raced down his spine. 

Tael turned in Thane’s arms and he brushed a light kiss across Thane’s mouth. He went to deepen it, but Thane stopped him. 

“I love you,” Thane whispered before claiming his stunned mouth. Those words sent fire through Tael. He moaned low in his throat and walked Thane backward toward the bed; where they could continue comfortably.   


	22. Chapter 22

Shepard scowled, looking down at the clothes he now wore. He hated the replacement suit that he purchased; but at least it didn’t bring back memories of a time best forgotten. The suit reminded him of something that Thane would wear, not him. He preferred his clothes loose and comfortable, not semi-formfitting. 

Thane chuckled as he watched a look of utter horror cross Tael’s face. He was enjoying this immensely. It wasn’t very often that he saw Tael look uncomfortable. Usually he was in total control, but now he had no control over his apparel.  “Ready?” Thane asked with a questioning look, his amusement making his eyes shine. 

Tael nodded and sullenly walked over to the door. Thane followed close behind him. Tael’s plan was to make his way straight to the shuttle; not bothering to stop and get more medigel or to grab a quick bite. He wanted to avoid all floors, if possible. The last thing he wanted was a crew member to see him in this monkey suit. 

“Did you already acquire more medigel?” Thane asked with a knowing look. 

“No. And I am not going to, either,” Tael grumbled, scowling at Thane. 

Thane rolled his eyes and stopped the elevator before it passed the Mess Hall level. “Tael…” Thane said in a warning voice. He waited for an explosion of anger or a groan of defeat. He wasn’t sure which he would receive from Tael.  

“No!” Tael snapped, pressing the button for the elevator to continue. Thane reached out with a smirk, pressing the button to halt their progress once more. He folded his hands behind his back with a raised brow ridge, giving Tael a pointed look; waiting for him to give in. 

It didn’t take long before Tael groaned, running one hand over his face. He knew that look on Thane’s face and realized that nothing he said would make a difference. He’d already lost the argument without the drell saying a word. “God, you are a pain in the ass!” He muttered, scowling at his smug lover. “Fine, we’ll go get the fucking extra medigel. But you owe me big time and a blow job isn’t going to cut it this time,” Tael stated crudely, smirking as Thane’s frills turned a deep shade of red. 

Tael stood in front of the elevator doors, waiting for them to open onto the Crew Deck. He dreaded passing through the Mess Hall to get to the medigel. He knew at this time of day it would be packed. 

Thane moved up behind him with a grin. “I didn’t think it would,” he purred as he moved quickly to stand behind the commander; wanting some privacy before the doors opened before them. He moved very close to Tael’s back, his body brushing lightly against Tael’s. He breathed out softly, feathering it against the back of Tael’s neck. Thane chuckled as Tael shivered. He leaned closer, licking Tael’s very sensitive spot before lightly scraping his teeth against the skin. Thane smiled smugly as he watched Tael brace his hands on either side of the door, his breathing ragged. This was partly payback for Tael having embarrassed him and also to give him something to look forward to after this mission was done. “That is only the beginning,” Thane whispered heatedly in his ear before backing away, allowing Tael a very short time to compose himself.

Tael glanced over his shoulder at the smug drell. Though he tried not to, he couldn’t help but smirk at him. “Cruel, Thane, very cruel. Just for that, I should have this elevator head back up to our room,” Tael chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as he stepped onto the floor.  

He noticed the stares from his crew, but no one said a word. He went straight to Chakwas, not bothering to wait for Thane. 

Thane walked over to Garrus with a smirk that he couldn’t make vanish, even if he tried. Garrus raised a brow, wondering what put Thane in such a good mood. “Should I even ask?” Garrus asked with amusement. 

“No, you shouldn’t,” Thane chuckled. 

“Well, whatever happened, it worked well. Tael seems to be in a better mood than I expected. I thought for sure he would avoid this floor,” Garrus commented, happy that Tael wasn’t going to hide. 

Tael walked into the Chakwas’ office and hesitated when he saw Kolyat on one of the tables. “What happened?” Tael asked coldly, trying to hide his worry. 

“Nothing. She’s listening to my lungs since Mordin is busy with the Collector data. I’m to see him at the end of the week,” Kolyat told him as he hopped down off the table. 

Tael gave him a searching look before nodding his head absently. He walked over to where the medigel was kept and grabbed an ample supply. “I’m surprised that my father was able to get you to wear that out in public,” Kolyat commented with a grin as he walked up behind Tael. 

“Yeah, well he has a promise to keep at the end of the mission. So I would find something to occupy yourself this evening, as he will be unavailable,” Tael said and turned to him; a malicious grin forming on his face as the kid turned bright red. 

“You realize that I’m going to have nightmares for the rest of the night,” Kolyat complained, glowering at Tael. He wanted to wipe the smirk off of Tael’s face, but knew he would never be able to do that.

“Oh, well. Now I am not the only one suffering at the moment,” Tael grinned as he walked out of the Medbay. 

“That grin doesn’t bode well for someone,” Garrus commented with a smile as he saw his commander; his mandibles flaring out wide, showing his pointed teeth. Tael laughed when he heard a few gasps from crew members as he neared Thane and Garrus. 

Tael turned to Thane with a grin on his face. Thane didn’t need to be told that he met up with his son; Tael’s impish smile said it all. “What did you do to Kolyat this time?” Thane asked with amusement. Thane wasn’t sure what to do with the two of them. They were always trying to get the better of each other. Well, his son was trying, and Tael was just doing it naturally. But to his fortune, they got along better than he thought they would. It was amusing listening to them most of the time, but there were a few times where he left the room; when their bantering would begin to interfere with his need for peace and solitude. 

“Nothing much,” Tael shrugged with a smirk at the disbelieving look Thane was giving him. “Just told him that he would have to find something to amuse himself tonight.” 

Thane slowly blinked his inner eyelids and waited for Tael to continue. He knew Tael wasn’t lying, but he’d bet that he said or insinuated more than that to his son just to get a reaction. “We should head to the shuttle. Kasumi is probably wondering where we are,” Thane reminded him just as his son stepped out of Chakwas’ office. He wasn’t trying to avoid Kolyat, but he had a hard time talking with him after one of his appointments.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

The shuttled landed and the Tael, Kasumi and Thane made their way toward Donavan Hock’s mansion. “So, this guy is supposed to be some hotshot?” Tael asked with a scowl as he checked out the surrounding area. It wasn’t that impressive as far as he was concerned. 

“Actually, he makes you look like a saint,” Kasumi told him with a grin. She found the incredulous look on his face amusing. For awhile she thought she would never meet someone as dangerous as Hock, but Shepard was very close. He may actually be more dangerous, though she would never admit that to him. 

“Really?” Tael asked doubtfully.

Kasumi nodded absently as she watched Donavan Hock make his way toward them. She figured that he would be suspicious of the statue, as it was shielded to avoid all scans. She wasn’t sure what to do if he called their bluff. All their armor and guns were inside of that statue of Saren. She watched as Hock eyed the statue suspiciously and her nerves built. She thought for sure that they had been discovered. 

She smirked as Shepard spoke up - maybe all wasn’t lost yet. “Problem?” Tael asked in a cold voice that sent a shiver of foreboding down Kasumi’s spine. 

Hock turned to the newcomer, his eyes narrowing as he examined Solomon Gunn. He wasn’t familiar with this man’s name, but he knew it was a name that he would remember. This guy had danger written all over him. His attention turned to the other male that joined him. He hadn’t expected to receive a drell visitor. He didn’t need anyone to tell him that these two were a couple; the narrowing of Solomon’s eyes in warning was all he needed to back off. His attention turned to the female that accompanied Mr. Gunn. Something about her seemed familiar and he knew he couldn’t allow her inside. He turned back to Gunn and for a moment thought there was something familiar about him; though he wasn’t sure what that could be. It didn’t really matter; this guy screamed danger and not the ‘I’m going to kill all the bad guys I see’ kind. 

For a moment he thought about having the drell stay behind with the woman, but decided against it. Gunn wasn’t someone he wanted to cross. Hock smirked. Gunn would fit in nicely with the people here, though he couldn’t say the same for his companion. Hock was pretty sure that Gunn would keep his drell close by and not allow him to cause any problems.  

“You are welcome to enter, but your friend will have to stay behind,” Hock commented, looking pointedly at the female. 

“Pity. It could have been interesting to have her along,” Gunn stated with a pointed look. Hock focused back on the woman with an appraising look. She was looking at Gunn, a disgusted expression on her face. The human male didn’t seem to notice. Hock thought about Gunn’s proposal for a moment before being forced to decline. They woman was too familiar to him to allow her to wander freely in his home. 

“No, I think I’ll decline,” Hock murmured. “You can join the party once you’ve said farewell to your friend.” 

Tael walked over to an outraged Kasumi. “You were going to offer me to _him_?” she asked, outraged. 

“Yes, if it got you in,” Tael shrugged nonchalantly. 

“What would you have done if he took you up on the offer?” she asked snidely as she scowled at him. 

“Rescind my offer,” Tael told her. 

“Tael, was it wise to make that type of offer?” Thane asked quietly. He hadn’t understood the undertone of what Tael had been hinting at; not until Kasumi mentioned it. 

“Yes it was, with all the crooks, murderers, slavers, and who knows what else in there. There will be a lot more things I am going to be saying or doing tonight that you might not agree with. So consider yourself warned,” Tael told him. He would have used a harsh voice to get his point across, but he couldn’t do that with Thane. 

“How much of it will be a lie?” Thane asked intuitively. 

“Most of it. You’ll know the difference,” Tael told him confidently. “We should head inside. Kasumi, use your cloak and find that safe,” Tael ordered as he noticed Hock watching them. 

Tael took Thane’s hand into his own, a warning look crossing his face; challenging Hock to say anything about their relationship. Hock saw the challenge and wisely kept his mouth shut. The glowing red eyes and facial scars made him hesitate, but the coldness that emanated off of Gunn stopped him from protesting. 

He had heard about Gunn’s background. He was severely injured while at one of his illicit drug facilities. Doctors rebuilt him with cybernetics. Rumors were circulating on the extranet that he had taken out all the men who tried killing him. Hock watched the two guests move around the room. He wasn’t shocked when he saw a few people give them room; no doubt out of fear. Gunn’s partner had an air of danger to him, also; though it wasn’t as profound as Gunn’s. 

His attention veered from those two to the females that were standing in front of him. _At least I don’t have to worry about Gunn moving in on the females_ , he thought with a smirk. 

Tael knew the moment Hock stopped watching him. “It took him long enough to stop staring at us,” Tael grumbled irritably. 

“I know,” Thane growled, his eyes never leaving Hock. 

Tael chuckled. “Relax. You can’t kill our host, no matter how tempting it is. Our only concern is that vault,” Tael reminded him.

Hock turned his attention from the females that were trying to get his attention. He became bored with it very quickly. His mind was still on Mr. Gunn and the danger he exuded. Hock followed him and his companion with his eyes as they moved room to room. He smirked as the drell walked away, leaving Gunn alone. Hock never thought he would chase a man, but he wanted to try Gunn. He wanted the thrill of danger he knew he would get with him.    

Tael moved room to room, while Thane checked the stairs leading to a lower level. Tael stopped when one of the Hock’s guards stepped in front of him. “Mr. Hock wishes to speak with you,” he said in a hard voice that left no room for refusal. 

“What does he want?” Tael asked, making sure the man could hear the anger in his voice. 

“My job isn’t to question. It to make sure you do what he wants,” the man answered with a malicious grin. 

“Fine, lead the way,” Tael said softly, smiling cruelly as he took a step closer to the guard. He saw the guard’s hand move closer to his gun and decided to stop before he had to kill him. “One wrong move and I kill you before we reach Mr. Hock,” Tael growled, smiling lethally. 

Tael followed him down a hallway into a small office. Hock was leaning against a desk with his arms crossed. “Ah, Mr. Gunn, I am delighted that you could join me,” Hock purred. “The rest of you can leave,” he said pointedly to the guards. 

“I take it that you didn’t ask me in here for a business deal,” Tael commented idly as he walked around the room, looking at the pictures and plaques on the wall. He maintained an air of nonchalance when all he wanted to do was kill his host for putting him in this position. They hadn’t gotten into the vault yet, so Tael knew he had to play along or risk breaking their cover. 

“Where is your companion?” Hock asked. 

“Around, though by now he’s probably looking for me,” Tael shrugged with a smirk. 

“Possessive?” Gunn asked with amusement. 

“The last person to lay a hand on me was skinned alive,” Tael told him with a cold smile. 

Hock felt a shiver rush through him. The more Gunn talked, the more his interest was piqued. But now he was wondering if he could make an arrangement with both of these men. He enjoyed living on the edge, thriving on the feel of danger. He knew one night with either of these men would do it for him; give him what he’d been looking for - at least for a short time. 

Thane walked up the stairs and was shocked to realize that Tael wasn’t nearby. He moved outside, ignoring the curious stares and the inviting smiles thrown his way. Worry slithered down Thane’s spine as his search for Tael proved futile. It wasn’t like Tael to disappear without notice.  

He stopped when he saw extra guards outside a small door. There hadn’t been that many before and he quickly realized that Tael had to be inside. He could only guess why he was there and wondered if Hock was still alive. 

Anger and his instincts kicked in, but he fought not to lose control. If he did, he knew he would barge in there, killing their host. His eyes narrowed when Kasumi appeared at his side. Her cloaks didn’t work with the surgery he had on his eyes and for that he was glad. “Thane, we need those things if we are to get into the vault,” she whispered.

“I’ll get the stuff. Tael will have to get the voice,” Thane growled, annoyed that she was bothering him while he was trying to keep control. 

“Where is Tael?” Kasumi asked worriedly. It wasn’t a secret that Thane and Tael were with each other and the growl she heard in Thane’s voice told her that something was wrong. 

“In that room,” he spat and nodded toward the heavily guarded room with a cold, deadly gaze. His final words sent a shiver of foreboding down Kasumi’s spine. “With Hock.” She watched as his hand clenched tightly at his side and he took an involuntary step toward the doors. If he lost it now, their mission was screwed. Besides, she couldn’t believe that Tael would do something to hurt his relationship with Thane. 

“Thane, this can’t stop the mission from going forward,” Kasumi hissed urgently. She hoped that Thane would be able to control himself. If he couldn’t there would be serious problems. She couldn’t help but wonder why Hock would have Shepard alone with him. The commander obviously went along with their host in an attempt to keep the mission alive.

“Don’t worry, I’ll do….” Thane began, trailing off when the doors to the guarded room opened, and Tael and Hock stepped into view. Hock wore a smug grin and Tael looked like he was ready to kill him. Thane caught Tael’s eyes, waiting for some type of signal. Tael met his gaze and motioned for him to follow them upstairs. “This will make it easier to get the things that you need,” Thane told Kasumi before leaving her side. 

Tael stood on the steps, waiting for Thane to reach them. “I didn’t invite the drell,” Hock growled. 

“No, you didn’t. I did,” Tael smirked, moving close to Hock; invading his space on the narrow stairs. “If you want me, he comes, too.”

Hock’s eyes narrowed. He glanced at Thane and slowly nodded his head. They followed him to his private room. Tael pulled Thane off to the side while Hock poured them some liquor.

“It seems Hock wants more than a deal,” Tael told him pointedly. 

“Tael, I can’t promise not to kill him,” Thane warned him. He knew how important it was to keep one’s cover while on a mission of this type, but these were unusual circumstances. He had done this type of mission many times. He would get close to the mark, learning his everyday life before striking at the opportune time. When he was younger, before he met his wife, he used his exotic looks to help him obtain his objective. After his wife died and he went into his battle sleep, he did what was needed for a successful kill. If that meant he had to sleep with the mark, then so be it. He didn’t care. 

Now, he wasn’t sure what to do. Hock wanted Tael and Thane knew he wouldn’t be able to sit idly by and watch his mate with another; even though he knew Tael didn’t want Hock. “So, what are you suggesting?” Thane asked urgently as their time was running out. 

“Seduce him, the both of us, but no sex,” Tael told him with a shrug. He was trying to make it look like he didn’t care, but Thane knew better. Tael was forcing himself to go back into his old ways so he could keep his cover, and it was hurting him. 

“Do you really think that will work?” Thane asked incredulously. 

“Yes, I do. He wants the danger and it won’t take much,” Tael told him and clamped his mouth shut when Hock walked over to them. 

“Something I should know about?” Hock asked with a challenging smile. 

“You’ll find out soon enough. For now, I have one question. Have you ever been with a drell before?” Tael asked with a mischievous look as he ran his hand down Thane’s torso. Thane wasn’t impressed. It was as if he was on show, but for the sake of the mission, he never allowed his feelings to show.

Hock’s focus turned to Thane. “No, I can’t say I have had the pleasure,” he purred as he took in Thane’s looks. 

Thane bit back a growl and wondered what Tael was playing at. He hid his disgusted look from Hock, but he knew Tael saw perfectly. He noticed the victorious look in Tael’s eyes and knew he had a plan. All he had to do was play along. His curiosity piqued, Thane moved closer to Hock, running a hand over his hair before grabbing the nape of his neck roughly, showing him his strength. Thane smirked as Hock’s eyes fluttered closed. Tael had been right. Show this man enough roughness and they wouldn’t have to do much to get him aroused. However, that still didn’t explain how they would remove him from their way for the remainder of the mission. Tael said no sex, but Thane couldn’t think of anything that would give them what they needed – an unconscious Hock. 

Thane met Tael’s eyes for a brief second, hoping for a hint of what his plan was. “And what’s so special about drells besides their strength?” Hock asked, his voice breathless with an anticipation that he couldn’t hide. 

“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll find out soon enough,” Tael grinned. “Drells have one unique ability that no other race has,” Tael said and gave Thane a pointed look. Instantly, it dawned on Thane what he was talking about. 

Drell fluids had hallucinogenic capabilities on all other races. It didn’t work on Tael because of his special training. Thane knew what Tael’s plan was, but they would have to build up to it. If they did it right now, when Hock wasn’t drowning in pleasure, then the hallucinogens wouldn’t work for long. Another problem was the amount of saliva Thane would need to knock out Hock. He felt nothing for this man, and wasn’t sure that he could get excited enough to produce the amount of saliva that they needed. 

Thane had used this ability to his advantage quite a few times while on a contract, but back then it had been easy to work his body up to the point where he would produce enough saliva. Even while married to his wife, he had no problem making his body work for him; but now he wasn’t sure he could do it. He just hoped this didn’t harm his relationship with Tael. No mission was worth that, as far as he was concerned. 

Tael nodded to him. He gave him a trusting look filled with understanding, and it instantly eased Thane’s mind with regards to his relationship with Tael. Thane moved behind Hock, roughly pulling him against his body. He kept his eyes on Tael, imagining that it was Tael beneath his hands, instead of Hock. He smirked when his body didn’t react to the man pressed against him. Even though he imagined it was Tael, his body knew it wasn’t. 

Thane slipped his hand into the small opening on Hocks shirt. He slid his hand down, and buttons popped as Thane caressed his skin roughly; his fingers digging into certain muscles that he knew brought pleasure. Tael moved up in front of Hock, rolling his eyes at Thane. Thane smirked. Tael was the first human male he had been with, and he wasn’t familiar with how to please all human men. He had been with drell males, and one turian male; but no humans before Tael.  

Thane took a deep breath, reigning in his instincts. He wanted this done quickly and at the rate he was going, they could be here all night. They could see that Hock was barely aroused. Tael stepped up close, sandwiching Hock’s body between them. He didn’t touch Hock; instead he ran his hand along Thane’s spine. Thane’s body reacted automatically. Hock moaned low in his throat when he felt Thane’s reaction pressed against him. Tael gave Thane a knowing look that held a promise for later. 

Tael dropped to his knees. Thane growled low in warning, but Hock took the sound as one of passion. Thane watched as Tael ran his tongue along Hock chest and headed lower, nipping at him. He left marks in his wake until he came to Hock’s side, where he bit down roughly. Hock shuddered, moaning loudly. Tael reached behind Hock grabbing his ass; making sure his hand brushed against the front of Thane’s pants as he did it. Thane moaned low for Tael as he slowly rubbed against him. 

Hock was in heaven; his entire body throbbing with need. He could tell that the drell wasn’t sure what to do to him. Gunn, however, knew exactly what he was doing. Hock desperately wanted Gunn to drop his mouth lower, but Gunn wasn’t doing that yet. The teasing was slowly driving him insane. 

Hock’s eyes snapped open as he felt himself spun around, being held in a firm grip. He felt Gunn grab his hair, yanking his head to the side. He moaned, bucking his hips as he felt Gunn’s teeth scrape along his neck and then bite down roughly. “Remember, it’s not me you will be fucking,” Gunn whispered hotly in his ear. 

“Uh…” was the best Hock could answer. 

“That is what you will be fucking. Just think of him using all that strength to shove himself deep within you. Driving himself into you ruthlessly, even as you beg for more,” Gunn purred. Hock groaned and almost collapsed as the visual rushed through his mind. His eyes latched onto the drell, who was now straining against his pants; larger than any human male Hock had ever seen. The drell stared at him with a feral look that almost brought him to his release. Hock had known being with these two would do it for him. The danger they exuded gave him pleasure like he’d never known. 

“Thane, do you want to show Gunn why drell are preferred to humans?” Tael asked with amusement shining bright in his eyes. Thane could feel his body throbbing from what Tael had said. He knew it was for Hock’s benefit, but Tael hadn’t taken his eyes off of him. It brought back memories of their times together. Thane swallowed thickly, trying to bring himself under control. Saliva filled his mouth to the point that he had to swallow some. This was something only Tael could do. None of his former lovers or his late wife could make his body react like Tael could.  

He grabbed Hock’s hair roughly and yanked him close. Thane plundered his mouth, making sure he would get the full effects of the hallucinogen. He didn’t stop when Hock sagged against him or when Hock’s hand roamed over his back, coming to rest on his ass. 

He purred when he felt Tael pressed up behind him, his hand roaming over his back. Even through the leather jacket, he could still feel him. Tael’s hot breath was against the frills on his neck and it drove him nuts. He groaned as he felt Tael nip those frills. Thane moaned low as Tael’s fingers dug into the frills on his lower back and he sank further into the kiss. They needed to make sure that Hock was unconscious for a long time. 

Thane broke the kiss and looked down at the human. He was deep within the grips of the hallucinogenic. They knew they needed to work quickly, as there was no clear idea of how long Hock would remain unconscious. Quickly they stripped him and gripped him roughly in various places; trying to make it look like the human had more fun than he actually had. Thane grabbed a few strands of hair from his head and took his fingerprints. 

“Do you have a voice print from him?” Thane asked hurriedly. 

“Yes, I have his voice. Why?” Tael asked as he poured more oil on Hocks rear. 

“We need it,” Thane stated pointedly as he raked his nails down Hock’s back, leaving welts that wouldn’t vanish any time soon.

Tael nodded and headed out of the room. “Tael, the guard will be suspicious if we don’t look the part,” Thane reminded him. Tael didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed Thane, taking him into a bruising kiss that had him purring. Thane hands went to his waist, pulling him even closer. Thane trailed heated kisses down Tael’s throat and bit down gently, barely breaking the skin. Tael did the same thing and broke away from Thane before they completely lost sight of their initial mission. 

Thane smirked as he gave Tael a once over, making sure he looked the part. His hair was messed, looking as if they had just had sex. His eyes were still a dark chocolate brown, and his dark skin was flushed. Thane didn’t need to look at himself to know he would pass inspection. He could feel that his frills were engorged and weeping, his vision was slightly blurred by the opacity in his eyes and his green scales were brighter than normal.

“We should go,” Tael told him urgently, his voice breathless.       

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Getting into the vault was easy enough after that. “You know, it’s funny. I kill the guy and people still want his statue - even after knowing the crimes he committed,” Tael said snidely as he stared at Saren’s statue in disgust. 

Kasumi chuckled. “How did you get away from Hock so quickly, without killing him?” she asked. 

“What makes you think we didn’t kill him?” Tael asked with a dark smile that made Kasumi hesitate. 

“Well, I assumed that if you personally killed him, there would have been lots of blood. However, if Thane killed him, it would probably be much cleaner,” Kasumi answered uncertainly. 

“Very true, and we didn’t kill him. We drugged him,” Tael told her. 

“Well, let’s hope it’s a powerful drug. Since he’s a drug lord, I bet he has some immunity to whatever you gave him. He may be drugged for only a short while,” Kasumi muttered. She caught the glance her two companions exchanged and that worried her. “What type of drug did you use?” she asked urgently. 

“The only drug we had on hand,” Tael answered with a wicked smile, glancing at Thane while he said it. 

“I take it you have the drug. Can I see it?” she asked Thane. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t have to argue with him. He was a reasonable person, but Tael….

“No, you may not,” Thane stated, moving closer to Tael. Her brow rose. She had never known Thane to be so elusive. 

Her attention turned back to Shepard when she heard him sigh. “Thane has the drug, but it’s unique to drells. That’s why he won’t share,” Tael stated tiredly. He wasn’t about to explain this to her. She didn’t need to know. 

“Fine,” Kasumi muttered, still looking unsure. She would have preferred to see this drug, but she wasn’t going to cross Shepard; especially when he was trying to be reasonable.  

“Well, let’s get this done so we can get out of this place,” Tael hissed, giving Thane a worried look. 

They walked into the treasure chamber and stopped. Even Tael was amazed at what he saw. His mouth dropped open in surprise. “How the hell did he get the head of Lady Liberty?” he asked incredulously. 

“Tael, you should see this,” Thane called and motioned toward a prothean statue. 

“How did he get his hand on this?” Tael exclaimed, shocked. “Behind us is an ancient Quarian scroll.” 

“It seems he has a something from each race. There is a Turian sculpture over there,” Thane replied and nodded toward the end of the room. 

“Shepard, it seems that Hock has Michelangelo’s statue of David,” Kasumi announced. 

“You’ve got to be shitting me! How the hell did he even find that still intact?” Tael spat incredulously. Thane followed Tael as he moved over to the famous statue. 

“Who is this?” Thane asked. 

“Not sure who it is, but it was done by one of our greatest sculptures. It was made from 1501 to 1504. In that era, we weren’t very advanced. We were still using basic tools, so doing something of this magnitude was amazing,” Tael explained to him. 

“I’m surprised that he doesn’t have any drell artifacts in here,” Thane murmured thoughtfully. 

“Shepard, we need to find the grey box,” Kasumi said urgently. The longer they stared at the relics, the less time they had to complete their true mission. 

Tael nodded and focused on the tracker. As he once more crossed the room, he suddenly stopped dead. “What the fuck? He’s has an ancient Egyptian statue,” Tael nearly yelled. “Okay, that guy’s dead. He’s stealing part of earth’s history without even sharing it.”  

“I wonder how he obtained these things,” Kasumi murmured. 

“I don’t give a shit anymore,” Tael snapped coldly. 

Tael stalked away, once more following the tracking signal. It led him to a nearby table. On the top was the object of their search and two beautiful guns. “Kasumi, is that what I think it is?” Shepard asked as he picked up one of the weapons. 

“A Kassa Locust, used to kill two presidents,” Kasumi said, admiration clear in her voice. Shepard took the gun, giving it a quick scan. “And here is Keiji’s grey box,” Kasumi whispered reverently.

“Don’t bother, Ms. Goto,” Hock’s voice filled the room, interrupt them. Kasumi was the only one in their group who didn’t seem surprised to see their host up and about. “It’s code locked.”

“Shit,” Shepard muttered. 

“Ah yes, I should have guessed that it was you, Commander Shepard. There are not many people who can claim that they’ve met a truly dangerous man. Having Gunn walk into my home with the same aura about him made me hesitate. I’ve heard of your reputation, Commander Shepard, and know you are not a man to cross. I also know of some of the things you’ve had to do during your career,” he chuckled darkly. Shepard’s eyes narrowed and Thane tensed beside him. He knew he didn’t need to explain to Thane, as there was little he didn’t already know. What really made Thane growl low were Hock’s next words. “I had also heard of your other reputation, and you’ve proven that it was well deserved,” he purred suggestively.  

Tael gripped the gun at his side, moving so he would have a clear shot and Hock would see it. “You see, I want what inside that grey box,” Hock continued, “and Ms. Goto is the only one that can get into it. So I have a proposition for you. Help me get her to open it and I’ll cut you in on the profits,” Hock said and grinned maliciously. 

“I don’t fucking think so,” Tael snarled. 

“You’ve made a mistake and you’ve crossed the wrong person. When I am through….” Hock was cut off abruptly when Tael shot the priceless statue next to him. He heard Hock’s strangled cry and laughed.

Tael’s body went on alert when the doors at the far end of the room opened. Thane took cover first, and Tael waited until Kasumi was under cover to join him.  With the three of the working as a team, it didn’t take long to clear the room. The room’s treasures had taken most of the damage. Many were destroyed and not all by accident. Tael didn’t think Hock needed his own private museum anymore.

They made their way through the underground labyrinth, clearing each room out systematically. Tael would use his biotics or gun, depending on what they were up against. Thane would snipe whatever Tael lifted into the air, and Kasumi would sneak up behind her foes and kill them while in stealth mode. Tael was impressed at how well they were doing. He hadn’t been sure that Kasumi would hold her own with he and Thane, but she was quickly proving him wrong.  

They approached the entrance to the roof, preparing for a difficult battle. They all knew the area would be swarming with guards. “Shepard, we have to talk sometime. Hock hinted at some very interesting things from your past,” Kasumi giggled. 

“Don’t ask, Kasumi. Much of it is confidential and was ordered by the Alliance,” Tael told her.

“Then it must be really interesting,” she grinned. “I’d heard of your reputation, Shepard, before I joined you. It’s said that you do what’s needed to get things done, and there was little that you couldn’t handle.” She looked at him expectantly. 

“Quit fishing, you’re not getting your information. You’re just as bad as Tali, you know” Tael chuckled. 

Thane moved to the roof quietly as Tael and Kasumi talked. His eyes widened when he saw the size of the force waiting for them. He searched for the best spot for them to take cover and found nothing. They were flanked wherever they went. “Tael, the roof is taken. There is no visible cover,” Thane told him when he was back at his side. 

“Well, then we make a spot. The two of you stay by the doors and wait until you see an opening,” he ordered them. He hadn’t reverted to his old way of fighting in such a long time, and he was looking forward to it. He was finally getting used to scoping out the area and ignoring his instincts so that Thane didn’t have a heart attack. This time, he needed to follow his former instincts. They’d served him well over the years. He just hoped Thane would forgive him in the end. He gave Thane a bruising kiss before he followed through with his plan. It was his way of saying sorry. 

Tael strolled toward the middle of the roof, his N7 and Special Forces training rushing through him. The Alliance’s motto was ‘One Shot, One Kill’ and he lived by that code while he was with them. That same training was exactly what his team needed now. He cleared out one side of the roof before moving to the next. A grin split his face when he heard Thane and Kasumi move to his side. 

“Damn, Shepard,” Kasumi muttered as they took cover. 

“I haven’t even started. Keep this area covered. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Shepard ordered as he moved quickly across the concrete. He approached a group of mercs that had just arrived on the rooftop. Quickly and efficiently he killed them, without the aid of his gun. He made his way back to his companions and was shocked to find them shooting at a Mantis Gunship. 

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Shepard asked, clearly annoyed.

“Our friend Hock decided to participate in the fight,” Thane hissed. 

“Great! I knew he wouldn’t play fair,” Tael muttered, taking cover. 

“If either of you has a plan, I would be thrilled to hear it,” Tael called, raising a brow. He suddenly wished Garrus was with him. The turian was brilliant when it came to spur of the moment plans. 

“If we clear out that area,” Kasumi suggested, pointing to the far side of the roof, “I can disable the gunship’s shields. Then we can take it down.”

“Fine, let’s clear the area,” Shepard ordered. He growled as yet another group of mechs fell to their gunfire. He realized that he or Thane would need to move closer to keep Kasumi protected as she moved toward Hock.

Without warning, Kasumi ran forward, grabbing onto a high overhang. Over the next few seconds, she showed her acrobatic skills; leaping from one metal brace to another. Finally, she jumped from the roof, landing gracefully on the gunship’s windshield. “Well, never expected her to be able to do that,” Tael smirking at the display. 

“Can’t you do that?” Thane asked innocently. 

“Not a chance in hell,” Tael chuckled. “You?” Thane shrugged his shoulders, smirking smugly at Tael; not bothering to answer. “Thane, if you are that flexible, you’ve been holding out on me,” Tael said with a shit eating grin.

Tael pulled out his grenade launcher, waiting for Kasumi to disable the shields and jump to safety. He watched as she leapt off the gunship with a back flip, making it look easy. Tael shook his head and fired the launcher until the ammunition was depleted. They watched as the gunship exploded and Hock plummeted to his death. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Tael muttered as he stood at the edge of the roof, looking down at the burning vehicle. 

Thane stood behind him, Kasumi at his side. Thane moved closer to Tael, his mouth next to the commander’s ear. “Let’s. I have debt to pay, if I remember correctly,” Thane whispered so Kasumi didn’t overhear. 

Kasumi had indeed caught Thane’s comment and chuckled, shaking her head as they walked to the shuttle. This was the first time that she had actually worked with Shepard, and she’d quite enjoyed herself. Since she’d known him, she had tried to avoid him at every turn; his reputation as an asshole well known on the Normandy. But this wasn’t the same Tael she’d met when she’d boarded the Normandy so long ago. The Tael she first met scowled at her and told her to stay the fuck out of his way since she was on Cerberus’ payroll. This new Tael was someone she could believe in and that pleased her greatly. 

Tael and Thane made their way to the commander’s suite as soon as they arrived on the ship. The door barely closed before Thane made good on his promise. He growled every time Tael moved. He needed desperately to erase any scent of Hock from his lover’s skin. 

When they were both fully sated, they lay panting on the floor; a tangle of arms and legs. Thane held Tael close as he drifted off to sleep; his recent conversation with Kolyat playing over in his mind. It had been a good talk, and he had the answers he needed. Later, after they defeated the Collectors, he would speak to Tael of their future. 


	23. Chapter 23

Tael sat on Kolyat’s cot, the youth’s head lying on his lap. He’d just had another attack and Tael rushed to his side. Thankfully Thane hadn’t woken when EDI called for him. Tael didn’t understand it. Kolyat should be getting better since Mordin had begun giving him the cure treatments. 

He looked down at the blue drell and smirked. He was a lot like his father, but Tael suspected that he looked more like his mother. He never thought he would say this, but he actually enjoyed having the kid around. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Kolyat shift on his lap. “Where my father?” he asked. 

“Hopefully still sleeping,” Tael stated with a smirk. “Same thing you should be doing.” 

“Can’t sleep. I hate these attacks. I keep worrying that the next one will be worse and I won’t wake up,” he told Tael softly. 

“How many attacks have you had while we were away on missions?” Tael asked, trying to keep his voice normal. He knew he was failing miserably. His worry was showing and he hated it. 

“Once. Mordin showed Garrus what to do,” Kolyat answered, not meeting Tael’s eyes. Tael didn’t ask what was bothering Kolyat; he already knew. The top of a drell’s head held several sensitive spots. You could calm them or bring them pleasure, depending on where you touched. 

“When day shift comes on, you’re going to see Mordin and we are going to find out why you’re still having attacks,” Tael told him firmly. 

“Is my father still having attacks?” Kolyat asked. Before Tael could answer, the doors opened. 

Thane walked in, wearing only white cotton pants. “What happened?” he asked, taking a seat on the bed as his son sat up. 

“Had another attack,” Kolyat muttered, leaning against Tael’s shoulder tiredly. 

“I already plan on taking him to Mordin once day shift is on. You should go back to sleep,” Tael told Thane sternly. 

“I think not,” Thane scowled, running his hand lightly down his son’s arm. 

“You need your sleep or you’ll have an attack,” Tael bit out, ignoring the chuckling drell that was leaning against him. 

“I am not leaving,” Thane growled angrily. 

“Fuck. I just had to be stuck with the two most stubborn drells alive,” Tael groused, his glare passing between father and son. “Let’s go, the both of you,” Tael ordered. 

Confused looks followed him as he headed for the door. He didn’t bother looking back. Thane knew then that Tael was upset, and he motioned for his son to follow the commander. 

They followed him to the elevator, neither drell speaking as they walked into the loft. “Kolyat, you get the couch. Thane…” he trailed off, glaring at him. He was trying to make sure Thane didn’t have another attack and his lover couldn’t see it. That was what pissed him off. 

Kolyat didn’t bother arguing. He grabbed a couple of blankets from the chest, laying one on the couch and using the other for cover. He was wide awake; but with the mood Tael was in, he wasn’t going to let him know that. 

He watched as Tael went to his desk and grabbed a few datapads before taking a seat, ignoring them both. His father sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Kolyat moved over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. It was odd. He was more comfortable with Tael than he was with his father. With Tael he could show affection easily enough, but with his father he was still nervous about touching him. It was as if he feared rejection. 

He decided to lighten the mood and get his father chuckling. “Are you sure you wish to marry him?” he asked, grinning. 

He knew he did something wrong when he felt his father stiffen under his hand. He watched his father’s gaze whip to Tael’s. The commander seemed to pale at his desk. The datapad that had been in his hand dropped to the ground. But that wasn’t what made Kolyat regret his words. It was the haunted look on Tael’s face, and the fear that flashed through his eyes before becoming anger. Father and son watched in silence as he stormed out of the room without a word. 

“I’m sorry. I thought you already said something. You don’t usually hide anything from him,” Kolyat said quickly. His eyes burned as he fought off tears from the wedge he’d just placed between his father and Tael. He never meant to do that. 

“It’s fine, Kolyat. You would usually be right in your assumption, but not this time,” Thane muttered, wondering how he was going to be able to repair the situation. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He just hoped that Tael didn’t do anything drastic. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Tael made his way down to Garrus’ room. He knew the turian would be sleeping, but at the moment he didn’t care. The door to the Main Battery opened to show his bleary-eyed friend. 

“What is it, Tael?” Garrus asked, worry filling his voice. It wasn’t often that Tael would wake him. 

“I need to you to look after Thane and Kolyat for a bit. If they have an attack tonight, I need you to go up there and handle it,” Tael stated coldly. 

Garrus’ eyes widened. He knew something was very wrong. “Where are you going to be?” Garrus asked calmly. 

“Not here,” Tael bit out, grabbing a pack from the floor that Garrus hadn’t noticed before. “I’ll be back in a few days.” 

He left without another word and Garrus quickly followed Tael to the elevator. Tael didn’t answer any of his questions and Garrus’ concern increased with each moment that passed. He moved with Tael toward the airlock, trying to get him to talk. 

Joker turned in his seat as he heard the commotion behind him. His eyes widened when he saw the pack on Tael’s back. “Be back here to pick me up in three days’ time,” Tael ordered as he stepped off the ship. 

Joker watched Tael walk away in his view screen. His orders were to leave port as soon as he was clear, but he couldn’t do it. For the first time since knowing Tael, he was disobeying an order. 

He turned to Garrus. “I’m under orders to leave port. You better find out what the hell is going on,” Joker snapped, his usual jovial manner nowhere to be found. 

Garrus nodded and headed for Tael’s room to speak to Thane. He hoped that Thane would have the answers he was looking for. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Thane glanced up when the doors opened. He knew it wasn’t Tael. He also knew that his mate wasn’t onboard anymore. He fought to keep calm, but it wasn’t easy. 

Garrus walked in. Kolyat was sitting beside Thane, looking every bit as horrible as his father. “What happened?” Garrus asked, pulling the office chair alongside the bed. 

“I made a wise crack about something that I shouldn’t have,” Kolyat stated quietly. 

Garrus raised a brow ridge questioningly. “What was the wise crack?” he asked.

“I asked my dad if he still wanted to marry Tael,” Kolyat answered, his head bowed. Thane’s sympathy for his son shown in his gaze, but he didn’t reach out to him. He didn’t know how to comfort his son through this. Right now he was upset with him, but he realized how sorry Kolyat was for his comment. 

He was shocked when Garrus moved over to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Why would Tael run at that remark?” Garrus asked. As far as he was concerned, Tael and Thane were basically married. 

“He’s not ready for that commitment. His past also has a part to play. He fears he will become like his father,” Thane told him softly. He didn’t tell him the other reasons as it wasn’t his place. The fact that he knew them was enough. 

“So he’s running now,” Garrus sighed, shaking his head tiredly. 

Thane didn’t bother correcting him. Tael wasn’t running. He was taking time away so he would have an easier time closing himself off. When he boarded once again, it would be as though their relationship never even existed. 

“Keep an eye on my son. I’ll be back shortly,” Thane ordered as he grabbed his clothes and quickly changed into his black leathers. 

Kolyat watched his father leave, sadness filling him. It felt like he was losing his family once again. He didn’t know what to do. He avoided Garrus’ eyes. The turian could read him way too easily. He didn’t know what it was about those three - his father, Shepard and Garrus could read him like a book. It was annoying and downright scary. Shepard was the worst. He had an uncanny ability to know what Kolyat felt; he’d seen him do the same thing with his father. 

Garrus watched Kolyat, worry slithering through him. He knew the kid blamed himself, when there was no blame to be had. He’d made a mistake, but it was an honest one. Garrus didn’t think anyone could have predicted Tael’s reaction to the boy’s comment. Maybe Thane, but he didn’t count. Not with the bond those two shared. He knew Tael wasn’t the easiest person to get to know and you never knew what would set him off. It was odd that Thane was the only one able to get through to him. Garrus suddenly had a startling revelation. He knew what Tael had been planning. He just hoped that Thane would get there before Tael became an ass once again.

“Come on. Let’s go down to the Mess Hall so you can eat,” Garrus muttered, unsure what to do. 

“I’m not hungry,” Kolyat replied softly, defeat strong in his voice. Garrus thought about trying to get him out of it, but he didn’t think anything he said would make a difference. Garrus sighed and settled in to stay with the kid until either Thane or Tael arrived. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

 Tael made his way to a ridge overlooking a lake on the desolate planet. He didn’t even know the name of the planet. He’d asked Joker to land on the closest habitable patch of land. To his fortune, they were passing one such area when his need to run came. 

Tael was confused; he didn’t know what to do. The fact that he wasn’t insanely angry said something, but his fear said even more. He had planned on returning back to the ship, cold and distant, giving Thane his freedom; but he knew that he could never do that. He couldn’t let Thane go and he couldn’t disappoint him by going back to his old ways. 

So what was he supposed to do, swallow this fear and marry Thane? Could he put himself in that position to make Thane happy; even though he knew he would always be on edge? It was a question he didn’t have the answer to and he needed one desperately. Marriage – a way to shackle a person and take their life away from them. He had seen it done and he didn’t want to go through that. If he and Thane married, he would no longer be Commander Tael Shepard, feared by all. He would be no one. Thane wouldn’t be able to live with someone who always enjoyed fighting; who enjoyed the danger of his job. Marriage would take away his identity and he wasn’t sure if he could live with that. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Thane stopped several feet from his lover. His heart ached as he saw the torture Tael was going through. Whatever was running through his mind at the moment didn’t bode well for him. The human was driving himself crazy with what he was thinking. 

He moved softly toward Tael, trying not to make a sound. He should have figured that his stealth wouldn’t matter. “Thane, why are you here?” Tael asked without looking back. In the same way that Thane knew Tael had left the ship, Tael knew when the drell was nearby without looking. 

“We need to talk before you give yourself nightmares,” Thane told him as he took a seat next to him. 

“How do you know what I’m thinking?” Tael asked angrily. At the moment he didn’t want to be read so easily. 

Thane chuckled with true amusement. “How do you know when I am near? How do you know when I am in danger?” he asked with a smirk as Tael looked at him, startled. “It’s exactly the same thing with me. How did I know where to find you? How did I know when you left the ship?”

“What are you trying to say?” Tael asked softly, staring out over the water. The waves that crashed along the shore were soothing for him, and Thane added so much more to his relaxation. He didn’t understand it. How was this man able to sooth him so easily with his presence? It was wrong as far as Tael was concerned. He shouldn’t need someone this much, but he did. He needed Thane just as much as he needed his next breath. He hated the fact that he couldn’t give Thane what he so desperately wanted. 

Thane sighed. He knew what he had to do. He needed to confess something he had never admitted out loud to anyone. He had always wanted to remember the good times with his wife. He hadn’t wanted to relive the bad times, even though he would always remember them. “When I married Irikah, I was afraid of how much my life would change and it did change. Some of it was for the better, but much of it wasn’t. She was an innocent to violence and she didn’t agree with it. I am an assassin. That _is_ and _was_ all I knew. I couldn’t change so I kept taking assignments. Even though she stayed quiet about it, I knew it hurt her. The years passed by and I stayed away from home for longer periods, taking more assignments. One day I came home and my son was older, walking around. I had missed so much. She begged me to give up being an assassin, and for a while I tried; but that wasn’t who I was. When I gave up being an assassin, I gave up a piece of myself. I couldn’t continue, and that’s when the separation in our marriage began. 

I continued taking assignments, and the distance between us grew. I grew complacent; thinking that I was doing my job well enough that my enemies would never find my family. One day I got an urgent message to return home.” Thane’s voice broke. This was the part he hated most. This still haunted him; how he allowed an innocent to die because he married her. He should have known never to marry an innocent. “There was blood everywhere. My son was already being taken care of and her body wasn’t there, but I didn’t need to see the body to know what happened.  I married an innocent, someone who didn’t know how to protect herself and she paid in blood.” He trailed off, taking deep breaths; trying to reign in the tears. 

“Years later I met someone else. He was a warrior and a protector, no matter how much he denied it. He fought against all odds and that intrigued me, and made our chase more challenging. He didn’t back down from anything and that caused my interest to grow even more. Then one day I realized that my feelings for him were more than mere interest. That scared me until I realized something. He cared for me as I was, and he didn’t want me to change. He would never ask me to stop being an assassin or look down on me when I killed someone. He would never look at me in disgust when I did something that wasn’t normal for him. He accepted me for who I was. But there was something more important than that. I knew if my enemies came after him, he would be looking forward to it. I don’t have to fear coming home and finding him dead because of my enemies. I could finally be myself and let go of the fear,” Thane told him softly. 

Tael sat in stunned silence; unsure of what to say. Thane didn’t want to change him; he didn’t want him to give anything up. He heard the message in the story loud and clear, but he still needed time. He just hoped that Thane would understand that after giving so much of himself. 

“What are you going to do?” Thane asked as he leaned against Tael’s shoulder and wrapped one hand around his waist. He knew Tael wouldn’t shove him away, no matter how upset he was. 

“Stay here for a while with you. Then we’ll head back to the ship,” Tael told him as they both watched the water. Tael placed one arm around Thane’s shoulder, holding him close. He needed to tell Thane that he wasn’t ready for the next step in their relationship, but he didn’t know how to do it without upsetting him. 

“Tael, start talking. You’re still tense,” Thane told him with a soft smile. 

Tael turned to him, sadness entering his eyes. He hated letting Thane down, but he knew he had no choice. “I can’t marry you. I’m not ready for that yet,” Tael muttered. He was shocked when Thane chuckled. 

“That isn’t news. It was why I hadn’t asked you yet. My son jumped the gun quite early,” Thane explained. “There is no rush. I can wait.”

Tael sat in awed silence; he didn’t know what to say. He sighed contentedly when Thane moved behind him; pulling him close to his chest. This was what he needed and hadn’t known it. He needed to release control; to allow someone to care of him for a change. Thane seemed to know when he needed this. It didn’t happen often, but it _did_ happen. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Garrus was happy; he’d finally gotten the stubborn kid to go to the Mess Hall. If the kid hadn’t been drell, he would have bet his last credit that Tael was the father; not Thane. Kolyat was just as thick headed as the commander and he’d definitely learned some of his comebacks from the difficult human. 

Kolyat sat in the Mess Hall with Garrus, feeling like shit. His head was pounding, his chest ached and he was fighting an attack. He was supposed to see Mordin earlier in the day; but when he arrived, Mordin told him he was too busy. Garrus had tried to help, but wasn’t able to do much. Mordin had shooed them out of his lab and that was the end of it. He wished Shepard was here; then he would have the answers he needed. 

“Your chest still bothering you?” Garrus asked, watching him move food around his plate without actually eating it. 

“Yeah, but there is nothing you can do. I don’t even know why. Probably another symptom of Kepral’s Syndrome,” Kolyat muttered tiredly. 

Garrus was worried. He had seen what Thane had gone through and what Tael had done to help him. The only difference was that Kolyat didn’t have Thane’s training, so he couldn’t hide his discomfort yet. Given time, he would be able to. Garrus knew the Kolyat hated admitting to any weakness, and he tried not to smirk when Kolyat finally did confess. “I think I’m going to lay down for a bit,” Kolyat said, trying to hide the wheeze in his voice. Garrus rose to his feet quickly, catching Kolyat as he stumbled. The crew ignored the event. They were giving him the privacy that he needed; pretending that they didn’t notice his discomfort. Garrus led him to Tael’s room, as it was more comfortable than Life Support. 

Kolyat went to the bed and collapsed onto it. His coughing was growing worse. It was turning into hacking coughs that were agonizing to his chest. He curled into a ball, holding his arms to his chest tightly. 

Garrus called for Chakwas, but was informed that there was nothing she could do. He called for Mordin next and the professor said that he would be up as soon as possible. In the meantime, the turian was charged with keeping the drell calm. Garrus went over to the bed and took off his gloves.

The first time he had done this he’d almost cut Kolyat, so now he was nervous. He only had Mordin’s directions and they weren’t extremely detailed. So at the moment Garrus was out of his depth. The last time it had been minor, Mordin said. Kolyat could breathe, but he needed someone’s touch. Mordin said the best place to calm him quickly was the top of the head; near the ridges. For all his efforts, he got growled at; so he started rubbing the kid’s back instead. 

Now he was in the same predicament and didn’t know what to do. This time it was a lot worse, reminding him of one of Thane’s attacks. He hesitantly touched the top of the kid’s head, waiting for the growl that never came. Kolyat curled into himself more and Garrus wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad reaction. If he measured his success by Thane’s reaction to Tael, it was a bad thing. Thane had stretched out after a time. 

“Kolyat, I don’t know how to relax you. Mordin said this was the best way; but if it isn’t, you’ll have to show me,” Garrus told him firmly. He knew nothing of drells. He hoped that Kolyat would help him along. 

Kolyat heard him and raised his hand, taking the clawed hand away from his ridges and placing it closer to his forehead. The drell wished Shepard was here; he knew what to do and Kolyat didn’t react when he accidently touched an erogenous spot. The front of the head and forehead were safe spots for soothing; but there was a reaction to it, as well. The reaction was simply smaller there. 

Garrus kept his hand on his forehead and moved slowly. He hoped he was helping. As far as he was concerned, he wasn’t very successful. Kolyat didn’t feel like he was relaxing anymore. His coughing had settled some, but his breathing was still harsh. 

Garrus’ ministrations gradually eased the young drell’s tension, though he hated the reaction his body had to the intimate contact. It couldn’t be helped; and as long as his mind didn’t react the same way as his body, he would be fine. He couldn’t relax any more than he was; it was too uncomfortable. Garrus didn’t know what he was doing and Kolyat could feel the tension in his talons.

“He should be propped up so fluid has a chance to move. When Shepard is aboard once again, will see Kolyat. Not until then,” Mordin stated as he stood in the doorway. He didn’t want to do anything without Shepard’s direct approval. Shepard knew what was going on better than he did and he knew how to calm drells faster than anyone onboard; including the professor. 

Garrus’ head snapped to Mordin, shocked to see him in the room. He didn’t think he was coming since it had taken him an hour to check on Kolyat. He was stunned when Mordin left without scanning Kolyat. With a rumbling growl of anger, he lifted Kolyat so he could slide beneath him. His turian hood made the position uncomfortable; but if it helped the drell youth in any way, it was worth the pain. 

“Hold on, Kolyat. I need to place more pillows behind me,” Garrus told him. He helped Kolyat sit up and held him in place as he used the rest of the pillows to cushion his back. Garrus lay back, taking Kolyat with him. He could feel the tension in the drell’s body and it made the entire situation quite awkward for them both. He wished Tael was here, as he was sure the commander would know what to do.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Tael and Thane made their way back to the Normandy. The human wasn’t surprised to see that his orders hadn’t been followed. “Do you think everyone is still alive?” Tael asked Thane as they entered the decontamination area. 

“Yes, Miranda is still alive. You can quit hoping,” Thane chuckled as they made their way to the elevator. 

“What’s the chance that your son is in your old quarters?” Tael asked with a grin. 

“Slim to none. He’s worried, so he would have stayed in our quarters. Hopefully he didn’t have an attack,” Thane murmured, fear in his eyes. It terrified him to think that Kolyat may have suffered an attack without Tael being there to aid him. 

Tael was about to say something to calm Thane, but he didn’t get the chance as the doors to his quarters opened. Garrus was lying on his back in full armor with Kolyat propped up on his chest. They both looked very uncomfortable and Tael could see that the young drell wasn’t relaxing as he should. He could see that Kolyat was struggling to breathe. 

“Garrus, lay him back down,” Tael told him. 

Garrus had never been so relieved in his life. All the awkwardness and stress left him as the commander entered the room. He shifted Kolyat so that he could leave the bed. 

Garrus and Thane took a seat on the couch, watching Tael and Kolyat intently. Tael removed his shirt and laid Kolyat against his chest. Garrus’ eyes narrowed as he watched Tael move his hand all over Kolyat’s head; avoiding certain areas. He raised a brow when he heard Kolyat start purring. It didn’t take long before the young drell was breathing properly. 

“So what was I doing wrong?” Garrus asked irritably. He had wanted to help the kid, but nothing he did seemed to help. 

“Once I’m finished here I’ll teach you how to do it properly,” Tael told him as he moved his hand in a pattern on Kolyat’s head. He smirked as he felt him falling asleep. Shepard moved from beneath him and laid the contented drell on his pillow. He covered Kolyat up with most of the blankets. He still couldn’t get used to the high temperatures that drells preferred.

Tael moved to sit beside Thane. “Can I use you to show him?” Tael asked. For the first time he felt anxious, almost nervous, as the thought of touching Thane. 

Thane smirked and moved to sit in between Tael’s legs. He waited for Garrus to move beside Tael for his lesson on drell physiology. “First lesson, drells love heat. They are similar to turians. Secondly, the top of the head and the red frills are erogenous spots. Though there are a few places on the head that are safe; some sooth and relax them, while other spots have other affects,” Tael explained and smirked as he saw Garrus’ eyes widen. 

Tael watched Garrus as he pointed out the different areas. Thane found the whole thing amusing. It was a first for him. He didn’t mind in the least, as the lesson would no doubt help his son. This was the second time that Garrus had to help Kolyat, so it would be beneficial for him to know how to aid him properly. Tael showed him what signs to look for so he would know if he was doing it right. 

Tael had Garrus touch the top of Thane’s head. Thane held in a growl, but sat there rigidly as he felt Garrus’ talons on his head. He couldn’t control the deeper growl that emanated from him. Having another touch him bothered him greatly. The only reason he allowed it was because Tael has asked it of him. Under other circumstances he would be tempted to kill Garrus. 

“Tael, we should stop this. Thane isn’t going to relax and he’s growling,” Garrus stated, worry in his eyes. 

“He’s growling?” Tael asked, shocked. He glanced down at his mate, but heard nothing. Tael ran his hand softly along Thane’s neck and along his ridges. “Sorry. I didn’t know this would bother you this much,” Tael murmured, trying to sooth Thane. He smirked when he heard Thane start purring. He glanced at Garrus to see him rolling his eyes. 

“And the last rule, don’t do it too lightly. They are thick headed and it will just annoy them,” Tael chuckled as he felt Thane stiffen beneath his hand. “Your best bet is to find as many blankets as possible, bundle him in those and sit beside him. Make sure he’s propped up on lots of pillows, just as he is now,” Tael told him as he nodded toward Kolyat. The youth was sleeping deeply and could barely be seen under all the blankets covering him.

“Until Kolyat is on the Citadel, your job while I’m gone is to watch him,” Tael stated firmly. He could see the argument building in Garrus’ eyes and showed him the extent of his intentions. He allowed his emotion to enter his eyes for Garrus to see. He watched as Garrus’ eyes widened and he nodded without hesitation. This was his family. He’d finally admitted that through Thane, Kolyat had become part of his family and he wanted him safe. He trusted Garrus to do that for him. 

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Kolyat woke to find himself on the couch. He glanced around the room to see Shepard at his computer, but his father was nowhere to be found. He relaxed back against the couch and felt content. He knew as soon as his father walked in, he would be nervous once again. He was so afraid of his father leaving or shunning him that he didn’t know how to act around him. He didn’t want to lose his father so he kept his emotions hidden deep inside. The father he knew had been distant, with a wall that used to scare Kolyat. His father had played with him, laughed with him, but there was always a distance between them. 

“You’re awake,” Shepard’s deep voice commented. “And whatever you are thinking about, knock it off.”

Kolyat raised startled eyes. Shepard was glaring at him. “Can’t help it,” Kolyat muttered. 

Tael rolled his eyes as he moved over to Kolyat. “I know I am going to regret this, but what’s bothering you?” he asked as he slumped on the couch. He watched as Kolyat chuckled. 

“I was thinking about my relationship with my father,” Kolyat told him quietly. 

Shepard buried his head in his hands and groaned. “I knew I should have kept my mouth shut,” he heard Shepard mutter and snickered. He expected nothing less from him, but he knew the commander would still listen. His smile was wiped off his face when Shepard turned his focus on him. “Shouldn’t you be talking to your father about this?” Shepard asked him. 

He couldn’t talk to his father about this. He was worried that his father would turn his back and then he would be left with nothing. “I can’t…I don’t want him to….” Kolyat trailed off. His breath caught in his throat, but he knew he had to continue. He had to tell someone. “I don’t want him to turn his back on me. I don’t want the same man that I used to know. I see him now and he’s so different with you. He is what I wanted as a father,” Kolyat told him, his voice going hoarse from emotion. He wondered if Shepard understood half of what he said. 

“Fuck!” Shepard stated, scowling at him. “Kid, I don’t know how to do this shit. Just talk to your father; be blunt with him. I don’t know…” Shepard growled in frustration. Right now he was in way over his head. The kid was talking about things that he was still trying to accept. Emotion was the last thing he wanted to talk about. 

“Commander, what happens if I do tell him and he turns his back on me?” Kolyat muttered. His chest was starting to hurt again.

“EDI, tell Thane to get his fucking ass up here,” Tael almost shouted, panic starting to race through him. 

“I gave him your message word for word, Commander,” EDI told him, and he could have sworn he heard amusement in the AI’s voice. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Thane was sparring with Garrus in the practice room. Garrus was testing out new moves while Thane was becoming annoyed that it wasn’t a challenge. 

“How are things going with your son?” Garrus asked as he took another swing at thin air. Thane had been there a second ago. The assassin’s speed was beyond annoying. 

“Scans show improvement,” Thane answered, hitting Garrus in the leg and watching as the turian caught himself before collapsing to the ground. 

“How’s your relationship going?” Garrus asked, now extremely irritated with the drell. Thane had known what he was asking, yet he avoided the question. 

Thane didn’t bother answering. He didn’t know how his relationship was going. It seemed that Tael was closer to his son than he was. It bothered him to a point, but he was happy that they got along so well. He hoped that one day, his son would feel equally comfortable with him. 

They stopped fighting when EDI interrupted them. “The commander demanded your presence in your quarters. Quote. Tell Thane to get his fucking ass up here. End quote,” EDI announced with amusement before logging off. 

Thane’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure what to make of the message. He knew Tael was pissed. He shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the laughing turian behind him as he left. 

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Thane stepped into the room. “Good. About fucking time,” Tael growled. He was pacing the room, his agitation clear for all to see.

Thane watched him, unsure what was happening, “What seems to be the problem?” he asked casually. 

“You and your son. The both of you are going to fucking sit down and start fucking talking. I’m staying so that if one of you has a fucking attack, you’ll have help. Other than that, leave me the fuck out of it!” Tael snapped coldly as he glared at the duo. “I’ll only step in if either of you decides to become an ass, so don’t fuck around,” Tael declared, glowering at them before going to his computer to finish working.

He grabbed some datapads and glanced at them, but his focus was more on the two drells in his room. He could see that Kolyat was close to another attack. Thane was fine, stoic as ever. That was the problem. The kid wanted to see emotion and his father was hiding from him. 

Tael knew the reasons for his mate’s disconnection to his feelings.  Thane was afraid of putting his son in danger, but he had to realize that the kid needed him. He listened as they talked. At first they made no headway. He thought about stepping in and giving them shit, but decided to wait. Kolyat was holding himself back, and Tael shook his head at them in annoyance. 

He’d just stood up to say something when the dam finally broke. Kolyat stopped holding back. He told his father everything. Tael watched as Thane listened to his son in shock; he couldn’t help the smirk that came unbidden to his face. Tael watched as Thane’s stoic expression crumbled under Kolyat’s accusations. 

Tael fought to stay out of it when he saw a tear run down his mate’s cheek. He fought his desire to hold Thane. This matter was between father and son. This wasn’t his place. He was Thane’s mate, but not a party to this situation. 

Thane sat heavily on the bed and Kolyat moved toward him hesitantly; unsure of his father’s reaction. Tael smirked as the kid placed a hand on his father’s shoulder. He leaned back in his chair as Thane reached for his son’s hand for the first time. _About fucking time,_ he thought and turned back to his work.

Kolyat felt relief wash over him when his father didn’t shun him. He took a seat next to his father and leaned his head on his shoulder. He smiled when he heard his father start purring. The tightness that had been constricting his chest loosened and he was able to breathe easier.

Kolyat purred contentedly. He had a family once again. He may have lived with his aunts, but it wasn’t the same. He loved them and they loved him, but he had wanted his father. Now he had his father and Shepard. 

Kolyat glanced at Shepard to find him working. It was as if they weren’t in the room; but that didn’t bother him. He knew if he approached, Shepard wouldn’t ignore him. And now he knew that his father loved him.   


	24. Chapter 24

Thane watched his son out of the corner of his eye as they walked the Citadel. Tomorrow Kolyat would leave the Normandy for the duration of their mission. He smirked when he thought about the promise they had gotten out of Tael. He was supposed to accompany them to say farewell. 

“Do you actually think he’ll step foot on the Citadel?” Kolyat asked, uncertainty clear in his voice. 

“Once he makes a promise he doesn’t back out unless under there are extenuating circumstances,” Thane answered, trying to sooth his son. 

“Why does Tael hate the Citadel so much?” Kolyat asked quietly. 

“That’s for him to answer. I can’t answer that question,” Thane told him, shrugging his apology. 

They walked in silence for a time. They had just turned to head back to the Normandy when a noise stopped them. Thane moved quickly, recognizing the sound for what it was. He wasn’t sure who was being harmed, but that wouldn’t stop him from stepping in. 

Thane rounded the corner with Kolyat right behind him. They both stopped abruptly when a shot rang out ahead of them. Thane already had his gun in his hand and took aim at one of a pair of krogans. He really didn’t want to go up against them in front of Kolyat. He didn’t want his son to see him in action. 

Thane aimed his shots precisely and took out the first of the hulking creatures. He was pleasantly surprised to discover that there were no shields to deal with. He moved quickly, holstering his gun and using his fighting techniques to incapacitate his remaining opponent. 

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw his son race to the unconscious turian on the ground. “Dad! It’s Garrus!” His urgent call broke Thane’s concentration for a moment. It was enough time for the krogan to connect his solid fist with the side of his head. Thane stumbled back with a grunt. _Damn! That felt like one of Tael’s punches,_ he thought with a scowl. 

Thane moved quickly. He needed to end this as soon as possible, before Garrus bled out. He slipped his fingers beneath the krogan’s cap and pulled, severing it from the top of the monster’s head. With a quick motion, he broke the krogan’s neck.  

“Dad, we have to hurry. He’s losing a lot of blood,” Kolyat said urgently. Thane moved to his son’s side and examined Garrus’ injuries. He had been shot three times and two of them punctured his personal armor, burning into his toughened skin. 

“Joker!” Thane yelled, using the com to connect directly to the pilot. 

“Oh, come on, Thane, this is shore leave,” Joker complained. 

“Garrus has been shot. We need Chakwas and Mordin to get ready to receive him. Kolyat and I are going to get him to the Normandy,” Thane ordered. 

“Ah shit! Tael is going to be pissed,” Joker grumbled. “Keep him alive, Thane. We don’t need Tael going on a rampage.”

Thane grabbed Garrus’ upper body while Kolyat grabbed his legs. They were both glad they weren’t that far from the Normandy’s location. He was glad that Tael was commander of the ship. No one would dare to ask questions. “Dad, we can’t carry him like this through the Citadel,” Kolyat complained with a fearful look in his eyes. 

“Trust me, no one will stop us. They’ve seen us carrying around worse and most people here know of Tael,” Thane told him with a smirk. 

He heard Kolyat give a relieved sigh when they saw the Normandy just ahead of them. Dr. Chakwas and Mordin were already waiting for them. “What happened?” Dr. Chakwas asked. 

“He was in a fight with two krogans and they shot him. I got there too late,” Thane muttered. 

“Who’s going to tell Tael?” Mordin asked with a pointed look at Thane. 

“If Tael sees the amount of blood I am wearing, you know as well as I that he won’t sit idly by. Kolyat should let him know. Tael won’t harm him,” Thane said with certainty. 

“Fine, I’ll let him know,” Kolyat murmured, stepping out of decontamination right after Mordin. “I’ll grab you some clothes, too.”

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Tael woke up to an empty bed, which was unusual. He didn’t normally sleep in this late. He knew it was because he had stayed up most of the night watching Thane as he peacefully slept. Sappy, he knew, but he didn’t care. He’d finally figured out something important; or at least what he thought was important. His feelings for Thane ran deeper than he thought. He didn’t know how deep, but certainly deep enough. Surprisingly enough it didn’t scare him. He wasn’t sure if it was love or not. He didn’t think so, but who was he to guess?

For a moment he wondered where Thane had disappeared to and then remembered that he and his son were going to go out for the morning. He vaguely remembered them inviting him, but he had been dead to the world. 

He stretched out languidly on the messed bed and planned his day. His eyes flicked to the door when it opened. He expected to see Thane, but instead it was Kolyat. He watched as the kid averted his eyes. Tael got up and dressed quickly, saving the boy’s sanity. 

He turned back to Kolyat and noticed that he was paler than usual. “What is it?” Tael asked, hoping it was nothing dire. He silently prayed that nothing had happened to Thane. He was pretty sure he would know it, but he wasn’t positive. 

“Um, you should sit, Shepard,” Kolyat murmured. “Last night you allowed shore leave. This morning we found Garrus on the Citadel. He was very injured. Two krogans had shot at him. My father took them out, but he’s not doing too good. Mordin is looking after him and is worried. He’s lost lots of blood. Dad is down there right now with him. He asked that I let you know,” Kolyat muttered, unsure what reaction he would receive. A few of the crew members told him that he should have made his father tell Shepard. That way he would still live. Tael had a tendency to kill the messenger.

“Why didn’t your father come?” Tael asked. 

“He didn’t want you to see the blood that covered him,” Kolyat murmured. “And I need clothes for my father,” Kolyat said quickly.  There had been a lot of blood, and he didn’t think Garrus would pull through. Kolyat already had his time of shedding tears. He could see the torment on Tael’s face. He looked as though someone just told him that his lover had died. 

Kolyat backed away as Tael raced to the elevator. He quickly messaged his dad and told him that Tael was on his way. He sighed, wondering where he would find his father’s clothes and which were his. He’d never been through his father’s drawers before, and his eyes widened when he realized that the two men’s clothes were mixed together. Quickly he grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt that he was positive was his father’s, and rushed down to them.  

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Thane sat beside Garrus as Mordin worked on him. This was Mordin’s idea in case Tael came barging in with his usual lack of control . He hoped that Thane would be able to stop him before he harmed anyone. Thane wasn’t sure if that would be possible. 

Thane glanced up when he heard the doors open. He knew who it was without having to look. It was almost as if he could feel Tael’s anger. It was no doubt due to their bonding. He was now emotionally in sync with his mate. Thane rose quickly and blocked his way, placing a light hand on Tael’s arm to stop him from rushing to the table.

“Who’s responsible for this?” Tael snarled. 

“They’re dead, Tael. I made sure of that, but we don’t know why they attacked Garrus,” Thane told him quietly. 

“I’ve done all I can for him,” Mordin said as he moved away from the bed. 

Tael moved up to Garrus’ bed and stared down at his friend, unsure of what to do. He had never seen him this injured. When he first came onto the Normandy and had been injured by the gunship, Tael hadn’t bothered visiting him. He hadn’t really cared enough to bother. Now he looked at his friend and felt his eyes burn. Garrus was his best friend. He admitted it and it hurt to see him in his current condition. 

Tael blinked his eyes and felt a tear trail down his cheek. He didn’t want anyone to see. He wasn’t even sure about Thane seeing it, but he had no choice. Thane knew him. He felt him near, his soothing hand on his shoulder. Tael glanced up at Thane, allowing him to see his worry and fear; knowing that his lover would never shun him. Thane was the one who brought his emotions to the surface - the one to show him that it was alright to express his feelings.

Thane watched as the first tear fell and Tael’s shoulders began to shake. He was shocked that Tael was showing this amount of emotion. He had only seen Tael cry once before, and that was the very first time they came to the Citadel.     

Jealously and his bonding nature roared to life. _So there was more to them than they let on,_ he thought sadly. Thane felt a heavy weight on his chest; not from an attack, but at the realization that Tael might care for Garrus as much as he cared for him. 

Thane left the Medbay and headed to Tael’s room. He needed time to think and to sort through all of these conflicting emotions. He wasn’t shocked when he saw Kolyat sitting on the couch. He didn’t say a word as he grabbed his possessions and began packing them up. He only took what he brought onboard. The items that he and Tael bought together he left behind. 

“Dad, what’s going on?” Kolyat asked urgently. 

“He loves another and I need to work through this bond,” Thane answered in a dull voice. 

“What do you mean ‘work through this bond’? ” Kolyat asked fearfully. He didn’t like the look in his father’s eyes right now. 

“I can’t be bonded to someone who already has feelings for another,” Thane spat before leaving the loft. “I’ll go insane if I do.”

Kolyat followed him to Life Support. “I don’t know what made you believe that he has those types of feelings for Garrus, but I know you are wrong,” Kolyat stated firmly. 

“Kolyat, there are things that happened in the past that you don’t have knowledge of. I don’t even know the whole story, but I should have known that Tael still cared for Garrus,” Thane said, trying to keep his patience with Kolyat. 

“Of course he cares for him. They’ve been through hell and back, as Garrus told me,” Kolyat muttered in frustration. 

“Kolyat, enough,” Thane stated coldly, glaring at his son. 

“You’re making a mistake,” Kolyat said before leaving. He went to the Medbay in search of Tael. He found the commander holding Garrus’ hand, looking like he had just finished crying. He walked over to Tael and placed a hand on his shoulder. He could understand why Tael would be so upset, but why couldn’t his father?

“Shepard, you should talk to my father. He has it in his mind that you care for Garrus more than him,” Kolyat told him quietly. 

Tael nodded numbly. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. It made no sense to him. “Where is he?” he asked. 

“In Life Support,” Kolyat smirked as Tael glowered. Tael could guess what caused this - their bonding. There were times when Thane couldn’t see straight because of it. His instincts kicked in and he became territorial. He knew Tael had a relationship of sorts with Garrus and that didn’t help matters.

“I’ll see him shortly. I can’t leave until I know if he will survive or not,” Tael murmured. “Once Mordin comes back with the tests, we’ll know more.”

“Okay, I’ll sit with my father until you go to talk to him,” Kolyat said, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. He had seen Tael do that with his father. Tael glanced up and watched Kolyat walk out of the room. He hated that he had to place this on the kid’s shoulder, but leaving Garrus wasn’t an option at the moment. At least not until he found out his friend’s chances of survival. 

Tael wasn’t sure how long he waited, but it felt like forever. His eyes snapped up to Mordin’s when he neared. “What’re his chances?” Tael asked him. 

Mordin fidgeted for a moment before answering. “He will live. There may be damage to his heart, and he may never be able to fight again,” Mordin told him, watching him carefully. 

“Is there anything you can do?” Tael asked urgently. 

“Won’t know for a couple of days. He needs to heal some before I can give more information,” Mordin told him firmly. 

“Fine, but keep me informed and don’t do anything without my say-so,” Tael ordered in a hard voice.

“Understood, Tael,” Mordin nodded, moving over to Garrus’ side. Tael watched him for a moment before stepping out of the Dr. Chakwas’ office.   

Tael made his way to Life Support and found Thane sitting at his old table. Kolyat couldn't be seen and Tael knew he was on the cot on the far side of the room. Thane sat with his back to the door, but Tael could see the tension in his shoulders. He stood there silently for a few minutes. Just seeing Thane took his breath away and brought him comfort. Slowly he made his way to the table and glanced at Kolyat when he passed the bed. He saw Kolyat’s worried look as he moved off the bed and headed toward the door. 

Tael took a seat across from Thane. He could see the strain in his face and wondered what was going through his mind. “What happened?” he asked tiredly. He didn’t want to be going through this right now. He wanted to be at Garrus’ side until he knew that he was going to be fine. He thought Thane of all people would understand this, but he was obviously wrong. He wasn’t pissed, but he was tired. He knew that bonded drells were very territorial and almost anything could set them off. They became confused and their emotions were more volatile. Thane had a more difficult time since he hid his true feelings from the crew.  He always kept his stoic mask in place, making sure no one could read all of his emotions.  

“What happened between you and Garrus?” Thane asked quietly. He couldn’t shake that one question. He knew he should wait, but he couldn’t. His mind was racing so quickly that he could barely think. 

“What exactly are you looking for?” Tael asked tiredly. He watched Thane closely; hoping that once he gave Thane an answer, things would go back to normal and he would have Thane’s support during this horrible time.   

“Your relationship with him. What happened onboard the other Normandy?” Thane elaborated. Tael was shocked that he sounded so cold and distant.  

“Most of the time we’d go to Chora’s, share some drinks or asaris. However, on one particular occasion, the threesome became just Garrus and me. The asari disappeared after a time. After that night nothing further happened, and we never talked about it. I did my usual thing, jumping from bed to bed, while he worked on the Mako,” Tael told him with a shrug. 

“Tael, what I saw in there was more than that,” Thane bit out. 

“Yes it was. It was my reaction to seeing my closest friend about to die. Eight months ago I wouldn’t have cared. When he was rushed onto the Normandy close to death from a gunship, I barely cared. Then you came into my life and taught me about how to care again. Now you’re using that against me,” Tael said and looked at him furiously. 

“Yes, I care about Garrus. We’ve been through hell and back many times. He’s my best friend. We’ve always had each other’s backs. So if you have a problem with the fact that I’m upset about losing my best friend…” Tael couldn’t finish that sentence even if he wanted to. With a sad shake of his head, he left Thane alone. 

Thane quickly tried to follow him, only to find out that he’d been denied access to the loft. Thane knew he’d made a huge mistake, and that he might have lost Tael. He couldn’t believe he could have messed up this badly after all they had been through together. He felt ashamed and couldn’t blame Tael if he never spoke to him again. A part of him felt like it was being ripped in half; but he knew he deserved nothing less for what he had just done. 

It was true. He had made Tael feel again, only to throw it back in his face. When Tael seriously needed him, he had turned his back. Slowly Thane made his way back to Life Support and allowed his own tears to fall. He wished it was him on that table instead of Garrus. He would sooner be dead than lose Tael. 

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Tael sat on his bed, alone. It was hard being all alone in his suite. He was so used to Thane’s presence. His scent still lingered everywhere. He couldn’t look anywhere in his own room without having a memory of Thane. He was everywhere without being here. One week of living hell! One long, God-awful week since his falling out with Thane. It was, without doubt, the longest and most agonizing week of his life. He didn’t know how many times he woken up in the middle of the night reaching out for Thane; only to find him gone. Then he would remember that they weren’t together anymore and the torturous pain would begin all over again.  

There was good news, even amidst the tragedy of his personal life. Garrus was up and about, completely healed from his wounds. He had been so worried about Garrus’ survival following his surgery. Now that he was out of the woods, Tael could turn his focus to retrieving the IFF. He had already given the order to head to the derelict Reaper. Joker had argued with him; saying that they needed Garrus. He agreed, but kept his thoughts to himself. The crew needed him to stay strong; now more than ever. Once they installed the IFF, they would be taking the fight straight to the Collectors.  Then the Collectors would learn what happens when you mess with humans.  

When he was alone, keeping his mind on the upcoming mission was nearly impossible. He had to fight _not_ to think of Thane and that was easier said than done. His mind always drifted to the drell. Silently Tael could admit that he missed him. But he still couldn’t believe that Thane had shunned him when he needed him most. It hurt. It felt like someone tried to rip out his heart and feed it to him. He couldn’t believe he’d let a person get that close to him - close enough to harm him. He thought back to his parents’ marriage and remembered the anger, resentment and all the spiteful words. He remembered the important lesson he had learnt – _never allow someone close_. He’d broken that very rule for Thane. He wanted to be resentful and hateful, but he couldn’t.   

He glanced at his nightstand and smiled sadly. He slowly picked up a holo-image of him and Thane. Sadness hit him, along with a smile as he saw how relaxed they’d been; how content they had made each other. He ran a finger along Thane’s image and sighed, placing the picture gently back onto the nightstand. He knew Thane didn’t leave it here to torment him. The drell knew human memory wasn’t as good as his own. He’d left it so Tael would have something to help him remember what they’d meant to each other. 

Tael glanced up when his door opened and Garrus entered. “How are you doing today?” Garrus asked as he entered the room. 

“Not sure,” Tael murmured, not meeting Garrus’ piercing gaze. “Garrus, why did those krogans attack you?” 

“Stupidity on my part. We were playing cards. I was beating them and started boasting. It didn’t go over too well, let’s just say,” Garrus muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. He watched Tael and wondered if he should bring up Thane again. He decided that if anyone was going to talk to him about it, it would have to be him. Tael wouldn’t trust or listen to anyone else. He wasn’t even sure if Tael would listen to him.  

“Are you going to talk to him?” Garrus asked, letting the sadness he felt show. He blamed himself for his friends’ separation. Tael reassured him on many occasions that it wasn’t his fault. He smiled sadly at his best friend. It was the first time he’d ever seen Tael like this. It was something he didn’t want to see ever again. It was as though Tael had a large part of his soul removed. His eyes never smiled anymore. They only held sadness and sorrow now. 

“No, I won’t be. After we are finished taking out the Collectors and we make it back, I’ll drop him off at the Citadel so he can be with his son,” Tael sighed, fighting back tears. 

“You love him, don’t you?” Garrus stated, taking a seat next to Tael. 

“I don’t know. Is that what this feeling is?” Tael mocked with an angry laugh. 

“Trust me, you love him,” Garrus chuckled. “Go talk to him.”

“Maybe I do love him, but he doesn’t trust me. He’s so worried that there is still something between you and I,” Tael muttered. “It won’t work if he can’t accept that what happened is in the past.”

“Tael, you can’t allow his instincts to get in the way. You know what he’s like when his instincts are in control,” Garrus argued. “You love him and he loves you. Don’t throw that away, especially after everything the two of you have been through.”

“Maybe you’re right and maybe you’re wrong. I’m not sure if we can work through this. I told him what happened between you and I, and I am not sure if it made a difference,” Tael murmured and shrugged helplessly. 

“Tael, if this would have happened two years ago, you would have moved on without a thought. Trust me, I know,” Garrus bit out. “But you were right back then. You and I are too different. With my training I had a hard time standing up to you. That is no longer a problem, but I don’t have the same feelings that I did then. You need someone who can stand up to you and Thane is the only one I know who can do that regardless of your mood. Don’t throw that away. You two were meant for each other,” Garrus snapped. 

“How is he doing?” Tael asked softly. 

“No better than you. Actually guilt is riding him hard. He knows that he made a mistake,” Garrus told him. He hid his smirk as sadness entered Tael’s eyes. He held back the one thing that would force Tael to act and waited for the best time to use it. 

“We need time. I’ll speak to him once we’ve dealt with the Collectors,” Tael murmured, slowly rising to his feet. He had work to do, and he knew he should get to it. 

“True, that would be best,” Garrus stated slyly. “You won’t be able to talk to him now as it is. He hasn’t left Life Support since your falling out. I’ve only spoken with him a few times, so I would give him time.” He grinned as he watched Tael march out of his room, determination evident in each step. Garrus knew that would get him moving. Tael could never stand it when Thane was hurting. Even now, after everything that had occurred in their relationship, the thought of the drell in pain still made him move. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Tael stood in front of Life Support, unsure what he should do. He took a fortifying breath and walked in. Thane was sitting on the floor in the center of the room, his legs crossed beneath him. He was obviously deep in meditation. Without another word he left his ex-lover alone, so that he wouldn’t be disturbed. 

Thane’s eyes fluttered open as he broke himself out of his meditation. He wasn’t sure what put him on alert, but he was almost positive that someone had come into his room. Slowly he scented the air and closed his eyes. Remorse hit him hard. Tael had been there. He had been so deep in his meditation and memories that he hadn’t noticed when his salvation walked in. He knew Tael was his salvation. He was his bonded mate and Thane felt desolate without him. It was almost more than he could bear. He had thought about ending the pain several times over the last week, but then he would see Tael and that thought would vanish. He couldn’t put Tael through that. He was suddenly filled with a deep regret from losing the chance to speak with Tael. What made him more depressed was that Tael had come to him, _looked_ for him and he had missed it.  

Thane sat on the floor a moment more and then slowly rose to his feet. He thought about giving up and staying in isolation, but he couldn’t do that. He loved Tael too much to give up. Thane glanced around his room with a certainty he hadn’t felt since their argument. With purpose in his step, he left Life Support and went in search of Tael. They needed to talk. He needed to make things right. Thane walked through the Mess Hall, but didn’t see him there. “EDI, where is Commander Shepard?” he asked, ignoring the smirks the crew threw his way. He could just imagine what the rumor mill was saying. It wasn’t a secret that Tael and him were currently separated.  If things worked out the way Thane wanted, they wouldn’t be apart for long. 

“Commander Shepard is on the CIC deck,” EDI answered. Thane scowled when he heard the amusement in the AI’s voice. 

Thane made his way to CIC, intent on confronting Tael. He wouldn’t allow Tael to avoid him this time. He entered the CIC deck to find Tael dressed in armor; talking with Garrus and Zaeed. This would be the first time that Tael hadn’t invited him on a mission and that knowledge hurt. 

Tael knew Thane was near. It was a feeling that he’d become accustomed to, but now that they weren’t together it hurt. He turned toward Thane, watching him stand silently on the other side of the deck. “Give me a moment, guys,” Tael murmured, moving toward Thane.

Thane took a deep breath. He actually felt nervous. It was something he hadn’t felt since his training first started. He could feel himself tremble as Tael neared. “Thane, something you need?” Tael asked, trying to keep the hope out of his eyes and voice. He wondered if he succeeded.

“We need to talk,” Thane stated. He could see that it wasn’t the proper time or place for this discussion, judging by the attention they were attracting. 

“It’ll have to wait till later. Right now we are going after the IFF,” Tael told him. He turned to leave, then stopped when Thane reached out and grabbed his arm. 

“I’m coming with you,” Thane stated, his eyes challenging him to argue. 

“Fine, but you better retrieve your weapons quickly,” Tael stated coldly. It hurt to use that voice with Thane, but it was the only way he knew how to protect himself. He couldn’t deny Thane even now. Tael watched him leave and shook his head in defeat. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep Thane at arm’s length, but they still had a large obstacle in front of them. Tael still hadn’t forgiven him for his mistake. 

He hadn’t heard Garrus move up behind him and jumped when the turian spoke. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to bring him along?” he asked. He knew Tael would be very distracted with Thane on the team and a distraction was the last thing they needed in this particular moment. However, there was always the risk that he would be more distracted if he was kept from Thane. Either way, the mission had just taken on a new level of danger.  

“No, I’m not,” Tael grumbled and sighed sadly.  

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Tael took the lead. It was eerie how quiet it was on the derelict Reaper. The mission seemed too easy so far, and that worried him. “Is it just me, or does this feel like a trap?” Garrus muttered. 

“No, it’s not just you. All they are missing is a neon sign saying ‘trap’,” Tael joked.

“For a ship with a full crew, we haven’t seen many dead bodies so far,” Zaeed commented. 

“Tell me about it,” Tael smirked coldly as he saw his first husk. “Well, it looks like the action is finally starting.”

Garrus and Thane hung back, covering Zaeed and Tael. “I’ve noticed that Tael has a calmer battle style now,” Garrus murmured as he watched Tael. He didn’t dash headlong into the fight. Instead he kept some distance, removing any enemies he could from a distance before closing in to finish the battle. 

“Yes, he has,” Thane agreed, sadness hitting him hard once again. 

“Had a talk with Tael up in his quarters last night and this morning,” Garrus murmured, smirking as he saw Thane stiffen. He knew how it sounded, but he wanted to see Thane’s reaction. 

Thane tried to stop the low growl that escaped, but he couldn’t.  “I am sure,” he hissed. 

“Found out something interesting,” Garrus continued; acting as though he hadn’t heard Thane’s anger. “You know, I made a lot of money with that talk. Lost some, too.” 

“Garrus, if you have a point to make then make it,” Thane bit out coldly. 

“It looks like we are moving on,” Garrus stated as he followed Shepard. He held in his chuckle as Thane moved closer to Tael. 

“Garrus, what did you do to piss him off?” Tael asked as he caught sight of Thane. The red frills along his neck were engorged and vibrating. Tael couldn’t hear the noise, but he was positive that Thane was growling continuously at the moment. 

“Nothing much,” Garrus grinned as Tael rolled his eyes. 

They came to the next area. Zaeed and Tael moved to meet the enemy as Garrus and Thane took up positions for sniping. “Have a story for you, Thane,” Garrus murmured, watching to see if the drell was listening. 

“Tael and I were always together,” he began. “Having fun, building a friendship. We would drink and party together. I thought there might be something more than friendship there, so I allowed one thing to lead to another and tested my theory. But there was one large problem. I couldn’t stand up to him; even when his actions went against everything I was trained to believe. I knew then that there could never be anything between us. Tael never noticed. What happened between us was routine for him. He didn’t care.”

He drew in a deep breath, taking aim at yet another husk.  “Tael died, time passed and we were eventually reunited,” he continued.  “I wasn’t the same as I’d been before, and I had the strength to stand up to him. But it was already too late. Tael wasn’t the same man I knew. He had changed drastically. He was angry, violent and hateful. You came along and did what I never could. That gave me hope for Tael. This man that we are watching isn’t even the same man I met so many years ago. This man has a conscience, feelings and emotions.”

He looked over at Thane, staring deep into his eyes.  “If I could, would I ever try for Tael?” he said. “Never. He’s my best friend and I know he loves you.” Without another word, he left Thane’s side, meeting Zaeed along the narrow corridor and resuming his battle. 

Thane moved slowly toward the group, relief settling over him. He watched Tael as he gave out orders and knew what he had to do. He couldn’t do it right now, but if he wanted Tael back he needed to talk to him. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Tael moved over to the downed geth. He was shocked to meet a talking one, and this one had even saved his life. “Thane, Garrus, grab it and let’s get out of here,” he ordered. 

Sadness and deep yearning welled up within Tael as he watched Thane. He missed the drell. Seeing him now and watching him work brought those feelings out even stronger than before. He missed talking to him, holding him and having him around. 

“Zaeed, you have lead. I’ll bring up the rear,” Tael stated. When he saw Thane starting to move, he hissed. _I should have taken the lead. Then I wouldn’t have to look at him,_ he thought furiously as he followed his team _._

The route to the Normandy didn’t take long, but it was pure hell. Tael knew that he needed to talk to Thane, but he loathed doing it. He knew as soon as he talked with him, he wouldn’t be able to let him go. The hard part with that was that he was still upset with Thane. When Tael needed him most, his lover hadn’t been there. It felt like a betrayal, even though he understood why it happened and should have expected it. He wished it had happened earlier in their relationship. Then it would have been so much easier to walk away. Now he knew he never could. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

The team left the CIC deck, Thane among them. Tael watched as Thane made his way to the elevator and disappeared from sight. “Commander, you could go talk to him instead of watching him with that love sick puppy dog look. It’s getting pretty creepy.” Joker muttered. 

“I will, though not yet. There are a few things that I need to get done,” Tael murmured, ignoring Joker’s taunting words. 

He left before Joker could come up with any more smart remarks. First thing he needed to do was shower and change. After that he needed to get the ground team together so they could figure out what to do with the geth. 

The doors to the elevator opened and Tael stepped into his room. As soon as the doors closed behind him, he stripped out of his clothing. He never noticed the drell sitting on his couch. Thane watched as Tael moved around the room, removing one piece of clothing at a time. His breath caught as memories of their times together came to him in vivid detail.

A short time later, Thane came back to himself and noticed that he was alone in the room. For a moment he thought he had missed his opportunity to speak with Tael. Then he heard the shower and sat back on the couch; his panic receding. 

Tael stayed in the shower longer than he should have, but it helped to clear his mind. If only for a moment, he could forget about Thane. The moment was short lived, however. _Shit! I made it a whole four minutes without thinking of him,_ Tael thought as he stood in the shower, shaking his head _. A record so far_.

He grabbed a towel, quickly drying himself off. He had to move as quickly as possible. Every time he dried himself off thoroughly, he would think about Thane’s hands on him. His mind was a mess and he knew it. It wasn’t that long ago when he could have shaken this off and walked away. _Well, maybe not_ , he admitted silently. He remembered what it was like when he wasn’t sleeping with the drell and right after the first time they had been together. He couldn’t ignore him then, so what made him think he could do it now? 

Tael stepped out of the bathroom and stopped dead. The one person he had been thinking about was seated on his couch, staring at him. “Why are you here?” Tael asked softly, quickly grabbing some clothes. 

“We need to talk,” Thane murmured, watching his every movement. 

“Then talk,” Tael stated brusquely. He fought to keep his emotions in check. He had to keep his distance. 

“Tael…” Thane sighed. He could see Tael was fighting to hold himself back. He could hear the strain in Tael’s voice as he tried to be cold. “I know I erred and should have had better control of my instincts; especially when you needed me. It’s not often that you go to someone for help. I should have seen that. But I was so caught up in what may happen that I didn’t see how it affected you,” Thane murmured, rubbing the back of his neck; showing his agitation. 

“Why couldn’t you believe me when I told you there was nothing there?” Tael asked angrily. 

“I knew there was something that used to be there, but I didn’t know the details. When I saw how concerned you were for him, my anger got the better of me. I automatically thought you still had feelings for him,” Thane said and sighed desolately. 

“I’ve been with you for months. After everything you know about me, you really thought I would turn away from you?” Tael asked incredulously. “And they say I’m an ass.”

“Tael, I am sorry! I don’t know what else to say. I know I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it,” Thane nearly shouted his frustration. It was the first time Tael had ever heard him raise his voice. Usually it was a deadly whisper or a smoky rasp that send shivers of pleasure through his body.

“Thane, I need time. You were the one who showed me to use my emotions. Then you turned your back on me when I finally showed them,” Tael muttered, shaking his head. “You know what’s amusing? Months ago I could have easily walked away from anyone…anyone but you,” he continued softly. Tael lifted pain-filled eyes to Thane. He didn’t bother hiding. Thane needed to see what his actions had caused. 

Thane felt a tear trickle down his cheek as he saw the pain and torment in Tael’s eyes. He knew Tael and was all too aware of what this admission had cost him. He truly believed that his chances of receiving forgiveness were slim. He walked over to Tael, lightly brushing his cheek with his finger tips. He leaned down and gently kissed Tael. “I’ll be here when you’re ready to forgive me,” Thane whispered, then turned and walked through the door. Each step felt heavy as despair fell down upon him.   


	26. Chapter 26

Tael stared in horror at the empty CIC deck. Everyone was gone. Joker and the ground crew were all that was left of the Normandy complement. The Collectors had taken them all. He felt like a failure. He understood how it happened and why, but he hadn’t been there to stop the attack and it was tearing him up inside. 

He gave CIC one final glance before heading to his room. He needed to think - needed time to comprehend it all before he plotted anything. 

Thane stood nearby, silently watching Tael. He could see the turmoil he was going through. He wanted to go to the commander, but wasn’t sure if he would be welcome. He knew that even though Tael wouldn’t admit it, he needed someone there for him. 

Thane followed him into the elevator. He had never seen Tael look so desolate. “Tael, we need you now more than ever. This crew looks to you,” Thane reminded him. 

“That may be, but they are going to have to wait. Right now I can’t think,” Tael muttered. He wasn’t even thinking about the distance between them or the incident that had pulled them apart. 

Thane moved hesitantly, placing a hand on Tael’s shoulder. “You need to get the crew back,” he murmured. 

Tael met his eyes, not bothering to hide how he felt. For the first time since this mission began he felt lost and unsure of what to do. It wasn’t like him to be so indecisive. “What happens if we do go after them and the Normandy isn’t ready?” Tael spat, running his hands over his face. 

Thane couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It sounded like Tael had lost all desire to fight. He wondered if their separation was the cause of his problem. The drell decided to take a different approach. He smirked, hiding his own worry. “Funny, I never thought you were a quitter,” Thane commented with a shrug. “Maybe it is a good idea that you don’t save them. With your current attitude, you would no doubt fail in the attempt.” 

Tael felt his words like a punch to the gut. He couldn’t believe Thane was saying this to him. He growled low, pinning the drell against the wall of the elevator. “I am not a quitter,” he spat, glaring at him. 

“Really? Could have fooled me. The commander I know would have been pissed and already heading through the Omega IV relay just to kick the Collectors’ asses,” Thane reminded him softly. 

Tael hesitated. He froze for a moment and wondered where his anger had gone. His eyes widened as it dawned on him. When Thane was no longer in his life, there was nothing left that was worth fighting for. He knew what that meant. It should have scared the shit out of him. _So Garrus had been right,_ Tael thought. 

Thane eyes widened as Tael started laughing. “You’re a pain in the ass. If you ever again pull a stunt like you did in the Med Bay, I will kick your ass,” Tael smirked. 

Thane’s breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t sure how to take the declaration. He didn’t dare hope that Tael had forgiven him. Thane watched him uncertainly as Tael continued to chuckle. “Tael?” Thane asked hesitantly. 

“Garrus was right. That fucking turian was right. He knew before I did,” Tael muttered, shaking his head. 

“Knew what?” Thane asked uncertainly, watching his mate. 

Tael didn’t bother answering. “We need to get ready for a mission,” he murmured, smirking as Thane looked at him in confusion. “EDI, have Joker take us through the Omega IV relay. It’s time to teach the Collectors a lesson they’ll never forget,” Tael ordered. 

“You got it, Commander,” Joker stated, and they both could hear the smile in his voice. 

Thane moved closer to Tael. “Tael, what did you mean?” he asked. He couldn’t let it go. He needed to know. 

Tael gave him a searching look and wondered if he was making a mistake. He knew he needed Thane, but Thane had hurt him. Then a voice from deep inside reminded him how often he had made the exact same mistake as Thane; and each time, his lover had taken him back. How many times had Thane taken his irrational anger and understood? Yet, the first time Thane messed up something over which he had no control, Tael had shoved him away. 

Tael closed the gap between them. He raised a hand, gently placing it on Thane’s cheek. He smiled softly as Thane looked at him with hopeful eyes. Tael closed the final distance, lowering his mouth to Thane’s and kissing him. In that single kiss he hoped to convey every emotion that flowed over him; all the hopes and feelings he had only just accepted as true.

Thane gasped, clutching Tael to him. He had come close to giving up hope on reconciliation, but he couldn’t. He loved Tael too much to turn away. If it had taken years Thane would have waited. Thane purred, showing his contentment at being in his love’s arms once more. 

“Stay with me,” Tael murmured, kissing him deeply. 

“Always,” Thane gasped as Tael nipped his frills. 

They stepped out of the elevator. Tael pinned Thane against the wall, his head resting on Thane’s shoulder. Thane lightly ran his hand along Tael’s back, wondering what his lover was thinking. Tael slowly lifted his eyes until he met Thane’s. He took Thane’s hand in his own and led him to the bed. “I had your son pick up something while we were docked at the Citadel. I was never sure if I would ever use them, but I wanted them if I ever came to terms with a few things…” he explained uncertainly. 

He opened the drawer to his nightstand and took out a box. “Right after we were at the beach I spoke with Kolyat. He was the one who came up with this idea. I had him make the arrangements, and as soon as we docked he picked this up,” Tael murmured, passing Thane the box. 

Thane took the box with a shaking hand. He had never seen Tael like this and he wasn’t sure what to expect. He opened the box slowly and gasped. Inside, gently placed on red velvet, were two black bands. One was meant  for a drell and the other for a human. Thane stared at the treasures, unable to speak. He was shocked that Tael was offering him this. He still wore the white band from his wife, showing all that he was married. But this black band showed that he was bonded to another. 

But he couldn’t wear the band. He wasn’t married to Tael. Given their current situation, it would have to be red. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure how to explain the problem to Tael without killing the moment. 

Tael saw the hesitation and knew what Thane was thinking. He also knew the meaning behind the bands. Tael turned to his love and closed his eyes, trying to find the words that he had never spoken before to anyone. He was about to step in foreign territory; telling Thane things that he had run from for so long. 

“Kolyat told me that we would need to wear red bands for now. He also explained what black bands meant…” he began and then hesitated; taking a deep breath so he could continue without making a fool of himself. “Garrus told me a few days ago that I loved you. In the elevator just now, I came to realize how correct he was. Marry me, Thane,” Tael whispered, his discomfort level soaring through the roof. He was so uncomfortable right now, but the look on Thane’s face made every moment worth it. 

Thane sat in stunned silence. Tael had said that he loved and wanted to marry him. Thane was certain that he was dead or locked in some bazaar dream. He was starting to give up hope that Tael would ever say those words to him. “Yes,” Thane croaked, his emotions making it hard for him to talk. With shaking hands he placed one of the bands around Tael’s neck and waited for Tael to do the same. 

Tael grinned at Thane’s shining eyes as he placed Thane’s band around his neck. He had never seen Thane so happy. It was a moment he wanted to remember forever. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

EDI recorded the intimate moment for the commander. She sent it to his terminal so they wouldn’t be disturbed. She sent a message to the ground crew, requesting them to move Thane’s belongings to the hallway outside of the commander’s room. She knew only one person that would be brave enough to touch Thane’s things. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

The two lovers lay side by side, basking in the afterglow of their union. “EDI, what is the ETA to the Omega IV relay?” Tael asked. 

“Ten minutes, Commander Shepard,” she informed him. “Joker is waiting for you in the cockpit.” 

“Shit! We’d better get ready,” he muttered, slowly climbing out of the bed. 

“I need to return to Life Support,” Thane murmured sadly. He moved to the elevator, trying to ignore Tael as he moved around the room gathering his clothes. He knew he would never be able to leave the room if he saw his fiancée naked. He quickly promised himself that after the Collectors were destroyed there was nothing that would keep them from time alone.

Thane stepped outside of Tael’s room and his eyes widened. His possessions lay in boxes on the floor. He smirked. There was only one person who would have dared to move his items from his old lodgings. Thane grabbed his stuff and brought it inside. 

“Good ol’ Garrus,” Tael chuckled as he moved to give Thane a hand. Tael looked at Thane, feeling truly free for the first time in years. 

                                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

 The trip through the relay was hell. Tael was glad that Joker was their pilot. He glanced at Joker, checking to see if he was alright after the extremely rough ride and crash landing. Now he just needed to get his armor on, speak with Thane for a moment and then meet with the rest of the crew. 

He met Thane in their room. Thane was just putting on his leathers. “How are you going to do this, Tael?” Thane asked as he helped him with his own armor. 

“Very carefully. I have to make sure that you and Samara are with a strong group,” he answered. 

“Me?” Thane asked, shocked. 

“Yes, you. You’re an excellent fighter and a great assassin, but you’re not a leader. Nor are you a technical specialist. Neither is Samara. So it appears that the two of you will be coming with me. There should be two other teams coming in, as well. Those that aren’t inside the base will be working on the Normandy’s repairs,” Tael explained to him. 

“What you say is true, but I would work just as well on any other team; as would Samara,” Thane commented. 

“Maybe, maybe not. Depends on what the other teams are doing,” Tael murmured. He was surprised that Thane wasn’t putting up more of a fight. 

“We should notify the others,” Thane reminded him. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

It was decided. Tali would head through the duct system to aid them in reaching the central core, and Garrus would lead the distraction team. Thane and Samara would be with him while the remaining crew did repairs. Joker was in command until he got back. Miranda had bitched for a split second; but when he turned a lethal stare to her, she shut up quickly. The thought did cross his mind to send her to her death, but it hadn’t been planned out properly yet and he couldn’t waste time plotting against her. 

The first part of the mission was hell and he didn’t expect it to get better through the rest of the mission. He glanced around at his crew and smirked. He’d just finished giving them a huge speech. They seemed pumped, and he shared their enthusiasm. This was what they had all been waiting for. 

He looked in the direction of his disabled ship and knew they would make it out. They had saved the crew that had been taken. They had hurt the Collectors greatly. Now all they had to do was plant the bomb, get their asses back to the Normandy and watch the base blow from a nice, safe distance. 

He glanced at Garrus as he headed in the opposite direction. He smirked as Jack joined his team. She wanted more action and told him that ‘the best way to find that was to follow him into hell’. 

“You ready to end this?” he asked Thane as they made their way into another section of the Collectors’ base. 

“Eagerly,” he grinned. “What are our plans when this is through?” Thane asked. 

“You and I won’t be leaving the room for a good while. Then we figure out what those fucking Reapers are doing and kick their asses, as well,” Tael murmured with a huge grin. 

“You’re forgetting one thing. The wedding?” Thane grinned as Tael groaned. 

“You just had to bring that up now, huh?” he grumbled. “Fine. When I’m through with you in the bedroom, we’ll go sign those fucking papers. But I’m not taking your last name.” 

Thane laughed, feeling lighter than he had in a while; even though there was a high chance that they wouldn’t walk away from this fight with their lives. But now he had a good reason to fight. He had something big to look forward to. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

“What the fucking hell is this shit?” Tael gaped as the baby Reaper towered over them. 

“I believe that is what all the humans were used to make,” Thane answered quietly. 

“Well, shit! That’s a big fucking thing. Any ideas on how to take it down?” Tael muttered, ducking as the came under fire. 

“Commander, if you shoot the canisters holding it to the ceiling, it should disable it,” EDI announced. 

“Thank you, EDI,” Tael replied and sighed in relief. He fired at the canisters when he could. He had to time his shots as barriers frequently covered the fragile tubes.

He only had one more canister to go and they could get the fuck out of this hellhole. He watched the barrier come down and grinned. He was about to shoot, but someone took the wind out of his sails. He glowered at his team. Both Samara and Jack shook their head to indicate that they hadn’t done a thing. The only one that he didn’t see was Thane. He turned around to find Thane standing behind him, grinning smugly. 

“You were too slow,” he murmured. 

“You are so going to pay for that when we get our asses out of here,” Tael smirked. Samara and Jack watched as it tumbled over the side. He heard Jack whistle and chuckled in relief. “Let’s plant the bomb and get out of here.”

Thane grinned, giving him a hand with the bomb. “Ten minutes should be more than enough time to get the fuck out of here, don’t you agree?” he wondered, looking questioningly at Thane. 

“We’ll find out, won’t we?” Thane murmured. Tael could see the worry in his eyes. 

“It will be,” Tael stated with certainty. 

“Tael, the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you,” Thane murmured.

“What the fuck does he want?” Tael grumbled. He scowled when Thane opened the channel. 

“Shepard, you don’t need to blow up the base. A selective charge will have the same effect, while keeping the base intact,” the Illusive Man said. 

“And why would I do that?” Tael drawled. 

“To further humanity. Cerberus can learn a lot from it. We’ll have what we need to defend ourselves against the Reapers,” TIM spat. 

“Are you really that much of a fucking idiot? You really think I would let you near the information here? Go fuck yourself and the horse you road in on. I’m blowing this place to hell and you can shove your idea up your ass and blow it,” Tael said and smiled coldly. 

Thane smirked, cutting coms when Tael nodded to him. “Interesting choice of words,” Thane chuckled.  

“Think he’ll finally take the hint that I don’t like him?” Tael murmured. 

“If he doesn’t, then he isn’t as intelligent as Miranda seems to think he is,” Samara smirked. 

“Well, that’s not saying much. Miranda isn’t the brightest out there, either,” Tael commented. 

“I think you might be mistaken,” Samara said softly. 

“Maybe,” Tael shrugged as he punched in the last code. “Ok, let’s get our asses out of here.”

Samara was about to take lead, but she stumbled off to the side when a rumbling started from below. “No fucking way! You’ve got to be shitting me,” Shepard said and gaped. “Thane, Samara, back off. Take out as many Collectors as you can. I’ll deal with this bastard,” he commanded, sighing as the monstrosity rose up and towered over them once more. 

“Tael…” Thane murmured, staring at him with a worried look. 

“Don’t worry about me. Just keep those asses off my back while I deal with this thing,” Tael ordered as he ran toward the baby Reaper, distracting it from his team. If they survived it would be good enough. 

Tael kept his focus on the Reaper, making sure he kept it distracted. He didn’t have time to check and see how his team was doing. Thane knew it so he kept him posted. Tael was grateful for the information. So far they were holding their own, but medigel was low and that didn’t bode well for them.

Tael started shooting at the Reaper’s heart. He hesitated for a split second as other gunfire joined with his own. Thane and Samara had finished with the Collectors and now their focus was on the abomination. 

Shepard grinned in triumph as the thing swayed, his eyes widening as it tumbled forward. “Oh fuck! Brace yourselves!” he cried out. His warning came a moment too late. He watched in horror as Thane slid over the side of the platform and a load of rubble fell upon Samara; pinning her down. 

Tael nearly yelled when he saw Thane disappear from sight. He dashed toward him; thrilled to find him still clutching onto random piece of rock. “Give me your hand!” Tael snapped, reaching as far as he could toward his lover. 

Thane looked up at Tael. He knew the smart thing would be to let go. The timer was running out and Tael needed to get away safely. But he could see the torment in his eyes and couldn’t stand to see Tael’s pain. “If you fucking let go, I’ll go after you. That I swear!” Tael snarled. Thane believed him. He would do the same. With screaming muscles, he reached up as far as he could; just barely grabbing hold of Tael. He knew his grip wouldn’t be strong enough to hold on for long. He wasn’t sure if he was even strong enough to hold on so Tael could pull him up. 

Tael clutched his hand tightly, using all his strength to pull Thane up. For a moment he feared that he would lose Thane, but sheer determination wouldn’t let him. Finally, they both rolled onto the platform. Tael scrambled to his feet, moving quickly to Samara’s side. He saw that her eyes were closed and thought for sure that she was gone. “Don’t you dare be dead. Not after all of this,” Tael snapped as he shoved the debris off of her. He smirked as her eyes fluttered open. “Good. We need to get the fuck out of here!” 

Thane grabbed Tael’s hand and the trio took off. He didn’t want to let go, but knew he had to. They ran for all they were worth. Tael sighed in relief as he saw Samara and Thane jump aboard the Normandy. He hesitated as the path before him began to crumble away. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to make the jump. He met Thane’s eyes as he ran and knew he had to try. Bunching his muscles, he leapt. 

Thane watched Tael jump the impossibly large gap. His eyes never left the commander. He reached out as far as he could and sighed in relief when he felt Tael’s hand close around his own. Thane started pulling him in, but other hands helped, as well. He glanced up at Garrus, seeing the fear in his eyes. 

Tael rolled onto the floor of the Normandy and looked up at everyone; not able to keep the huge grin off his face. “Always have to make an entrance,” Garrus complained good-naturedly. 

“You know me. I never do it the easy way,” Tael joked.  

Thane and Garrus chuckled, showing their relief as they helped Tael to his feet. “Joker, get us the hell out of here!” Tael ordered. 

“Already on it, Commander, but it ain’t gonna be a smooth ride,” Joker warned, grinning. 

“Ha! Has anything about this godforsaken mission been smooth?” Tael muttered. He grinned as he heard Joker chuckle. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

The group was down in the Cargo Bay, surrounding the coffin that housed their fallen comrade. Tael watched as Jacob went over to the coffin, placing his hand on it before walking away. “Are you going to say a few words about her?” Thane asked. 

“No. Jacob should be the one. She and I never saw eye to eye,” Tael told him. “What about you? Did you want to say anything?” he asked.

“No. I’m drell, not human. Our customs are not the same as yours,” Thane reminded him. 

“So does this mean you have one more thing to celebrate?” Garrus asked when he walked up to them. 

“Normally I would say yes. I hated her and made no secret about it. But she’s dead. I’m not going to sully the dead,” Tael explained. 

“What are you going to do about Jacob? He seems to be taking it hard,” Garrus commented. 

“I’m not going to do anything right now. There is nothing I can do. This is something he has to get used to; especially on a mission like this. By the time we stop the Reapers, we may lose several more people. I would be surprised if any of us survive,” Tael stated. 

“I hear you, Shepard. It’s a grim outlook, but true,” Garrus muttered. He knew Shepard was right, but now was not the time to discuss such matters. They should be celebrating, not mourning; even though they lost a crew member. “Why don’t we go and celebrate now?” he suggested. 

“Sounds good,” Tael said and smiled as he led the way. He glanced back to see everyone following. Relief and a sense of completion filled him. Once again he did the impossible. This mission was even more impossible than his battle against Saren. He was humanized by a drell, and fell in love with that same drell. In less than a year, he had changed more than he ever thought he could. Now there was only one thing left to do – the wedding. He and Thane still had quite a bit to discuss before that dream became a reality. 

What he wanted was a very quiet wedding. He didn’t want all the pomp that went with it. One witness and a video of it would be fine. He didn’t want the celebration or the claps on the back. He just wanted it done quickly and quietly. In his mind, he and Thane were already bonded. The rest was just for show. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

They made it to the Citadel. There was no way they would be stopping on Omega, so Tael had decided on the Citadel. He hated it, but he knew Thane wanted to see his son. 

He listened to father and son chat quietly as he lay sprawled out in bed. He didn’t mind. The sound of their voices was actually soothing. He cracked his eyes open to see Kolyat sprawled out on the couch. Thane was seated on a nearby chair. Thane was drinking his tea and Kolyat was drinking his coffee. 

“Better be more of that coffee,” Tael smirked as he left the bed. 

“A whole thermos full,” Kolyat grinned as he poured Tael a cup. “So, is it true that you and my father are getting married?” he asked nervously. 

“What do you think?” Tael asked sarcastically. 

“The fact that you aren’t running from the room suggests that the answer is yes. So did he ask at gun point?” Kolyat asked, grinning impudently. 

“You wish. Actually I asked him,” Tael grinned maliciously as Kolyat choked on his coffee. He glanced at Thane to see him laughing. 

“You? Asked him?” Kolyat sputtered. “How the hell did that happen?”

“Do you really want me to get into details?” Tael asked, grinning as the kid started blushing. He laughed as Kolyat groaned, burrowing his head in his hand. 

“No! Definitely not,” Kolyat muttered. “So when does this happen?”

“Don’t know. Haven’t discussed it yet,” Tael shrugged. 

“What do you mean ‘you haven’t discussed it’? What the hell has been stopping you from talking about it?” Kolyat asked, shocked. 

“The couch, the chair. Bed, as well. Then the bathroom, coffee table, and the desk. Oh, and I mustn’t forget the fish tank,” Tael answered, grinning lustily at Thane; who returned the look. 

“Did…did you say the couch?” Kolyat asked, his confused look turning into one of horror. He swallowed thickly and tried to shake the commander’s words out of his mind. He really didn’t want to know that information, but the look on his father’s and Tael’s face stopped him from snapping at Tael. 

Tael didn’t answer. He had already gotten enough reaction out of the kid to last a few hours. “So, Shepard, if you’re finally getting married, I take it that you want a big wedding?” Kolyat asked and laughed as Tael’s eyes widened in horror. 

Tael glanced at Thane, not sure how to answer. He wanted to speak the truth, but he didn’t want to hurt Thane. The wedding he wanted would only take five minutes if he had it his way. “I don’t think Tael would survive a long wedding. I think our guests wouldn’t, either,” Thane murmured, smirking. 

“And you’re fine with that?” Kolyat asked in surprise.

“Yes, very fine with it,” Thane murmured, keeping his gaze on Tael. Amusement filled him when he saw the relief in his lover’s eyes. “I’m sure Tael can set something up so that it’s done tomorrow?” Thane continued, looking at him questioningly. 

“For a human ceremony, sure. But I don’t know what your customs are,” Tael answered nervously. He agreed with Thane’s desire to get it done as soon as possible. Then he wouldn’t have to be sweating about it for days on end. A great weight was lifted when Thane said he was willing to have a quick wedding. That was music to his ears. 

                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Garrus and Kolyat stood in front of the screen, along with Thane and Tael. They were dressed in their best while an admiral led them through their vows. Garrus couldn’t stifle the grin that was on his face as he listened to Tael repeat the vows. They had chosen to follow the simplicity of the drell’s ceremony. There would be vows and nothing else. 

He could see that Tael was nervous as hell and had to hold in his laughter. What the commander didn’t know was that there was a party downstairs waiting for them. The word had spread quickly that Thane and Tael would be saying their vows. Everyone had wanted to be there. Tael had quickly put a stop to that, but he allowed EDI to videotape it and play it for the crew in the Mess Hall. 

Garrus couldn’t look at Kolyat, who was also witnessing. The drell had one hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh out loud. He knew if he even looked at the kid, he wouldn’t be able to hold in his own amusement. 

Kolyat sighed in relief when the admiral ended the transmission. He still had his hand clapped over his mouth. He thought when the admiral was gone his amusement would disappear, but that didn’t happen. The look on Tael’s face was fueling his amusement. 

Thane watched his son and hoped that he would be able to control himself. He glanced at Garrus and shook his head. The turian was having an easier time hiding his amusement, but he knew it wouldn’t take much before Garrus gave in. He understood why they would find this amusing. Tael looked as if he expected an entire squad of assassins to attack when he entered the next room. 

He decided to put his mate at ease. Maybe the other two would leave before they lost control. He cupped Tael’s cheek in his hand, his joined fingers tracing the scars. He smirked as Tael’s eyes heated and he closed the gap between them. 

“Leave the couch alone this time!” Kolyat snapped just before the doors closed behind them. 

“You realize that Tael will make sure they use _only_ the couch now?” Garrus reminded him. He laughed when the kid groaned and rested his head on the cold metal of the elevator. 

“He just loves torturing me,” Kolyat muttered. 

“Of course he does. You’re his family,” Garrus murmured, patting the kid on the shoulder before leaving the elevator. 

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Tael stared up at the window above his bed and grinned. His worst fear was finally behind him. He glanced over at his husband and chuckled. If someone had told him even a month before that he would get married, Tael would have pounded the shit out of them and then shot them. 

He grinned gently as he heard Thane make soft noises in his sleep. Over the months he noticed that Thane had been relaxing more and more. He was now able to let his guard down and not be on alert at all times. 

His focus turned back to the stars as he thought of the future to come. The Reapers. He would be meeting with them very soon. The fight would be one that none of them had ever encountered before. When that fight happened, he knew there would be more loss of life. He prayed that the people closest to him weren’t on that list. Especially his family - Thane and Kolyat. 

He had finally found something to keep him fighting. Something that he would do anything to protect - his family. He finally had one that accepted all his flaws and wouldn’t shun him. One of them taught him how to live and forgive the past, and the other showed him how to have fun; to make the most of the life he was given. Kolyat taught him that when he was diagnosed with Kepral’s. 

Family – no longer a conflicted desire for him. 

The End 


End file.
